The Trick of Time
by Resa Aureus
Summary: A devastating fire at a printing house in 1982 destroys every copy of a controversial memoir titled "The Trick" by Messenger. Well, the Ministry only thinks every copy was destroyed. In an attempt to recover one of the lost copies, Hermione takes an unexpected tumble through time.
1. Something to Worry About

A/N. I know what you're thinking. "Another time-travel story?! What the hell?" But after The Last Marauder, I got many requests to write another. And when **mh21** suggested a time-travel story where Sirius gets the girl, well... how could I refuse?

A few notes before we begin. One: this is started BEFORE the final battle at Hogwarts where Harry prevails. You will know exactly when it starts. Hint: Before the Horcrux Hunt.

Two: Sirius did NOT die at the Battle of the Department of Mysteries. Why? Because I said so. That's why.

Three: Do I know how long this will be? No, I do not. I haven't the foggiest. It could end of up being the length of Prisoner, but with my history, it probably will end up being closer to TLM. Or I could start to hate it and kick it to the curb (that's a lie, I would never do such a thing, abandoning fics makes me sad).

Four: Does this mean another unfortunate delay for Teddy Lupin:WWW to start back up? Unfortunately. But once I get on a roll, I just can't stop. I apologize. *shame*. I promise I will try to keep up with Holiday as well.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. As awfully depressing as it is, I do not. JKR does. More's the pity.

...~oOo~...

Chapter One: Something to Worry About

Hermione Granger was tired. It was late and the moon was risen and she heard the siren's call from her pillow, all the way from the Burrow. But still the meeting went on in the dining room of 12 Grimauld Place, words being exchanged between the members of the very elite and secret society, the Order of the Phoenix.

Being a member of the Order was not, as Hermione once thought, as exhilarating as it sounded. This had mostly to do with the fact that while she was legally an adult, she was still only seventeen, and under the eyes of powerful Aurors and sorcerers like Kingsley Shacklebot and Minerva McGonagall she was still only a child. It did not help that the adults currently running the Order, in the wake of Dumbledore and Mad-Eye Moody's demises, had watched her grow up from a gawky child into her current kind-of-adult self.

Every time Remus Lupin, once her professor, looked at her, she could just tell he was seeing the Third Year with a penchant for constantly raising her hand and getting into trouble with her two best friends. None of them saw her as a very practiced and talented woman and witch that she worked so hard to be.

"...recruits from the werewolves while our numbers are diminishing..." Shacklebot was reporting in that deep, ominous voice of his.

Hermione sat between Ron Weasley and the famous Harry Potter, both of whom happened to be the aforementioned two best friends. Ron's chin rested on her chest, his shaggy ginger hair falling just enough to cast shadows over her closed eyes. His chest rumbled quietly, and Hermione could tell any minute the noise would escalate to full-blown, train-like snoring.

Harry, however, was awake and looking eager, his green eyes taking in everything and obviously paying attention to every word. His skin was paler than usual and his black hair more unkempt and the beginnings of dark circles sat under his eyes. The boy was definitely stressed and sleep-deprived, but those were the burdens that came with being the Boy Who Lived and the wizarding world's messiah.

Hermione was snapped out of his reverie by a sharp, bark-like laugh. Her eyes whipped to the source, along with everyone else's.

Sirius Black sat on the other side of the table, and towards the head, leaning back in his chair with ease, wrapped in a violet smoking jacket, his arms crossed comfortingly across his chest.

"Come now, Kingsley," Sirius said. "Surely we can find recruits and eyes on Dark Creatures elsewhere. I do not see the need to send Remus into the fray when Snivel - I mean, _Snape_, is doing such a bang-up job as it is."

In his corner, Severus Snape's lip curled. The animosity between the two older men was prominent and went unnoticed by no one. As long as it never got physical, the people in charge saw no harm.

Remus Lupin, looking distinctly sleepy and rugged from days without shaving, said, "While I appreciate your concern, my friend, but -"

"I agree," a blonde woman who's name escaped Hermione said. She was standing rather than sitting, leaning against the wall, wearing something similar to Auror's robes, but something was different about them. "With less sarcasm than Black, of course, but I agree. Severus is doing just fine. No need to endanger Lupin as well."

Hermione was used to new Order members popping into meeting. Apparently, no one apart from Shacklebot knew the identities of every member. There were more allies than anyone thought - but it still didn't seem enough, especially when there were only twenty on average attending each meeting, and there was always one or two new faces.

"I knew you and I thought alike, Marley," Sirius said with an affectionate smile at the blonde woman.

She was expressionless, and almost cold. Marley's wavy blonde hair was tied up into a pony tail and she looked very no-nonsense, like a younger and more attractive McGonagall. "Don't be daft, Black, you just have a point for once in your life."

"I smell a history between those two," Harry whispered to Hermione with a tinge of amusement. Hermione agreed. Sirius Black had a history of angering women, but only after making them swoon. And this wasn't the first time he'd received insult from a Order member.

"Regardless," Remus joined in, "of either of your sentiments, I'll already began easing my way in." Nymphadora Lupin nee Tonk's hand rested on his shoulder and Remus brought his own to lay atop hers.

Marley's expression did not change, but Sirius's jaw tightened.

"This is stupid," Sirius said.

"We all do what we need to, Sirius," Remus said kindly.

"But you've just become a father," Marley said in what almost sounded like a gentle tone.

Nymphadora, called Dora by her husband, said, "We know the sacrifices. I fought him many a night over it as well, but he is, as you know, quite stubborn." She gave Remus a fond smile.

"And Mr. Lupin knew the consequences when he accepted the task," McGonagall said in that firm way of hers.

The mood visibly sank in the room.

"If that is all," Molly Weasley said, sounding maternal as ever, "then I would very much like to get my children in bed before they have nightmares of their favorite professor... getting hurt." She didn't sound very pleased about the situation either and still, like every other adult, saw Hermione, Harry and all her kids like babies needing to be taken care of.

No one dared mention that if they were old enough to be members of the Order then they should be old enough not to have a bedtime, though.

"I suppose this meeting is adjourned," Shacklebot said. "Everyone rest. We are progressing positively."

"Black, if I may have a word with you," the woman Marley said, just loud enough for Hermione to hear. She sounded unhappy and Hermione sort of felt bad for Sirius. The woman was terrifying.

Everyone else began leaving, either to Apparate or heading towards the parlor, and Hermione saw Sirius follow Marley towards the back door for a private word.

Mrs. Weasley was saying, "Well, come along, dears, lets all wait our turns for the Floo."

Bill Weasley and the twins Fred and George were saying goodbye to their mother before leaving to Apparate when Hermione saw Harry's hesitation to stand from his chair.

"Are you alright, Harry?" Hermione asked. She heard the snores begin from Ron on her other side.

With only a slight pause, Harry said, "I was actually sort of hoping to talk to Sirius before we left..."

"We'll see him the day after tomorrow," she reassured him. "You look unwell, Harry. Rest would be best for you right now, I think."

"He hasn't really had time to talk to me, lately," Harry said quietly as he stood slowly from his seat. "It makes me wonder how much they're not telling us. Sure, we're Order members, but in the past our mentors have been known to withhold information."

Hermione nodded. "I know what you mean. They think it's four our own good, but really it just ends up damaging us. Do you think... they might edit the meetings where we attend and hold private ones when they're alone? Because I think it's definitely a possibility."

Harry didn't say anything, and she knew why. They were supposed to be loyal to the Order and supposed to trust that they share every piece of information. Because they were a team. And considering such a theory, having that bit of distrust, felt something like a betrayal.

But leaders were flawed, Hermione knew. Dumbledore, though seemingly all-knowing, had been just as human as the rest of them. Everyone was flawed.

"What are you three doing, dragging your feet?" Molly asked, popping her head back into the dining room from the parlor. "Come along! Harry, Hermione, Ron... Ronald... Ronald!"

With a jolting start, Ron's eyes flew open. "Wha?" he demanded, sounding shocked and still half-asleep.

"It's time to go, Ron," Hermione said with a small smirk.

"Oh, okay," Ron yawned, standing up and stretching out his arms.

"So, Ron, how do you feel about our new crucial plan of action that involves a life-changing match of Quidditch that could very well turn the tides of the war?" Hermione said, putting on her best bluffing face.

Ron's eyes grew so huge, she though his blue eyes were in danger of slipping right out of his skull. "... W-what do you... I mean... Uh..."

Then Harry started laughing and Hermione was close to follow. Harry swung an arm around his mate's shoulder and said, "Ron, next time... at least try not to snore."

"You... bloody... wasn't..." Ron grumbled unintelligibly while his feet stepped heavily and slowly. "Ugh. Can't believe... Bill getting... tomorrow... wedding..."

"On the bright side," Harry said to Hermione, "he will look the best tomorrow in all the wedding photos while the rest of us are still half-asleep from lack of rest."

Hermione took a deep breath and nodded. She couldn't say she was looking forward to the wedding the next day. It just seemed like there were bigger things to worry about.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What do you think will be different with Fleur and Bill's wedding? 2. What do you think of this as a start?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish


	2. A Wedding Surprise

A/N. I always like to start a new story by posting two chapters at once. I don't know why, but it's how I do things :)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Two: A Wedding Surprise

The arrival of Scrimgeour only hours before Bill and Fleur's wedding had been... a surprise, to say in the least. It had been even more of a surprise when it involved the last will and testament of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, thus leading to the bequeathment of a few very strange items.

Hermione had been feeling the impending danger for a long time. Of course, everyone was feeling it, but she felt a much more specific sort of doom coming their way - something that would mean running. So she'd had her handy, beaded little purse stuffed with essential for days. Clothes, potions, tent things, and of course, books.

One never knew when one who need a book.

She didn't want to alarm Ron or Harry, so she kept her just-in-case packing a secret. After all, she could just be paranoid. Rationally, she knew that any type of critical move would have warning and time to prepare - but she just felt...

Well, she felt something bad and abrupt was going to happen.

Which was niggling at the corner of her brain when she was supposed to be enjoying the wedding reception blooming in front of her. Everyone seemed merry despite the troubles of the outside world, and drinks and gingers were plenty. Harry, disguised as a Weasley cousin with the help of Polyjuice, was across the way, talking to one Luna Lovegood. He looked anxious and antsy, but Luna managed to make him smile anyway. Luna just had that effect on people. She was always giving someone a reason to smile - even if it was the sort of smile that you tried to hide because she was absolutely insane.

Fleur was, of course, gorgeous. Beyond gorgeous, she was almost unrealistically beautiful. And Bill, even with half of his face marred by deep werwolf scars, was extremely handsome and looking at his new wife as if she was the sun that he would happily orbit for the rest of eternity.

Ginny, though, was grinding her teeth next to Hermione. The girl did not like her new sister-in-law and was not afraid to show it.

"Look at her," Ginny said with quiet fury. "All feathers and blue eyes and creamy, flawless skin like everything is all about her."

"Well," Hermione said tentatively, "it is her wedding. It sort of _is_ all about her."

"Don't take her side," Ginny groused, crossing her arms and crinkling her elegant black and white dress. "You're supposed to be _my_ friend, remember?"

"I am your friend, Ginny," Hermione said calmly, hiding a smile at the cranky girl. "I was just pointing out that this is Fluer and Bill's day, and you owe your brother a smile, I think."

"Bugger smiling," Ginny grumbled. "I'm getting champagne. Do you fancy any?"

"No, thank you," Hermione said politely. That itching feeling in her brain was still there and she figured that if her suspicions were right then she best have all her wits about her.

Ginny stalked off towards the champagne and Hermione couldn't help but smile then. Ginny was so funny sometimes with her erratic moods - you never knew what state the girl most of the time.

Then a voice materialized next to Hermione.

"Nice wedding," the voice said.

With a little jump, Hermione's head whipped towards the voice and said, "Oh... hello."

"Hello," Marley said in return with a small smile. The woman looked nearly as beautiful as Fleur. Her gold blonde hair, made of perfect waves, was down around her shoulders, curling at the tips around her generous breasts. The woman had what Hermione believed to be the perfect figure, tall, lean, curvy like a slim hourglass, and made of golden, tawny tones all over. Blonde hair, butterscotch colored eyes, tan skin.

"Nice wedding," Marley repeated. She wore a strapless pastel blue dress that wrapped around her body like a large, endless scarf.

"Yes," Hermione agreed. "Very nice. Um... are you friends with the Weasleys? I mean, I know you're in the Order," she added quietly. "But on a personal level, are you friendly with Bill and Fleur?"

"I actually used to babysit Bill," Marley said with a smirk. "As well as the other Weasley boys, and Ginerva for a little bit. I don't think Ronald remembers me, though."

"Oh," Hermione said, trying not to sound too surprised. She observed the woman closer. Really, Hermione wouldn't dream that Marley was old enough to babysit the Weasley boys, because she had not a single wrinkle.

Marley's smirk deepened. "I suppose you're wondering how old I am?"

Hermione nodded. "Yes, if you don't mind."

"I am thirty-six," Marley said with a wink. "I watched him when he was about eight, but only for a year about."

"I thought Molly was a homemaker," Hermione observed, feeling unreasonably suspicious.

"She was and is," Marley said. "But it was during the last war, you see. So she was often on business where little boys and an infant girl shouldn't accompany. But enough about me and my teenage years, tell me about you."

"Me?" Hermione said.

Marley nodded. "You are Hermione Granger, of course. I've heard much about you."

"From Sirius?" Hermione said without thinking, and then wanted to snatch her words out of the air and swallow them. But it was too late.

Marley paused but then smiled. "Yes, from him as well as others. Though I admit, he sings your praises frequently. He is very grateful for your keeping Harry safe."

"How do you know Sirius?"

"I thought that was rather obvious. We went to school together, of course. Same House. We had our few run-ins. Not your standard Sirius/female run-ins, though, before you ask," Marley said. "I was much to clever for him, you see." Her tawny eyes twinkled as she grinned.

"But," Marley added, "you do seem curious about Mr. Black. May I ask why?"

Hermione shrugs. "The few times you've been at Grimauld meetings, you and he always end up having private conversations."

The lioness eyes went dark in Marley's face. "Have you... overheard these conversations?" Something in her voice tightened, but it didn't sound like anger or suspicion.

"No, of course not!" Hermione immediately refuted. "That would be rude! I only see you two walk off together."

"Well," Marley said, more relaxed. "Sirius and I share hardships from another era, as well as Remus. We can tell one another things we cannot tell others. Which is why, as you've observed, we often speak." Her eyes twinkled once more. "Why? Do you fancy him by any chance?"

A flush rose to Hermione's cheeks as her eyes whipped open. "No! Of course not! That's... that would be improper. He's old enough to be my father!"

"But he's terribly handsome," Marley pointed out. "And witty. You must have noticed - every girl does."

Hermione's eyes flashed to the dance floor to a tall, broad-shouldered, redheaded Ron Weasley looking agitated about having to dance with his mother and stepping on her feet. "I suppose Sirius is handsome and witty in an older-man, uncle type of way. But I... I rather think I... like someone else."

"Hmm," Marley mused. "Interesting. Harry or Ron then?"

"My, you're worse than the Prophet!" Hermione said with a huff. "Must I be enamored with one of my friends? There are other men in this world! For all you know, I could be in the throes of passion with Charlie, for Merlin's sake!"

Marley chuckled. "I would hope not. Charlie is gayer than a Mardi Gras parade."

"Then the twins," Hermione said, grabbing at straws. "Any of the Weasley boys. Perhaps even Percy. Why must I fancy one of my best friends?"

"Because it would take a blind man not to see the way you look at Little Ron," Marley said, sounding just a tad sincere. "And the way he looks at you, for that matter."

Changing the subject, Hermione said, "It's rather strange, thinking about it... If you were so close with the Weasleys - close enough to care for Molly's children - why haven't you been around more?"

At length, Marley said, "I've been... away. My job requires that I seldom return to England for any length of time."

"But.. you're around now," Hermione pointed out.

"War changes things."

Hermione could understand that, at least.

Marley went on, "Anyway, there was a reason why I wanted to speak with you, but it appears we got sidetracked. It's about a book."

Hermione's eyes lit up and suddenly her full attention was on Marley, like an eager Doberman waiting for a command from its master.

Marley laughed, a full-out belly laugh that was like... music. "I had a feeling you'd react like that. Rumor says you're quite the reader. Anyway, there's a book that I think you'd find rather useful. It's very rare, you see, because the building publishing it mysteriously burnt down in the middle of its print.

"It was reported that no copies were salvaged and the manuscript was gone with them, but I know for a fact that exactly five copies were saved. One of which is sitting on a shelf in the Black family library, as we speak."

Hermione was taking in every word with growing excitement. This was the type of thing that Hermione lived for - history not only carried in books, but the histories of books themselves.

"What was the book about?"

"The First War," Marley answered. "It was a brought on a large conspiracy, before anyone could even read it, because it was said to propose the concept that the Dark Lord would return. It was written almost write after the war's end, so everyone was still high on victory and didn't want to think about it not being over. But before it could hit shelves, the fire happened, thus beginning a quieter conspiracy.

"There are many I know that believed the fire was Ministry ordered," Marley explained. "It makes sense. The Ministry didn't want to risk the peace with notions of Voldemort being alive, so it made sense to end suspicion before it began. And the Ministry especially didn't want to take blame, because two workers died in the fire. So they covered everything up and went on their merry way."

"You think the Ministry burned down the printing house?" Hermione said, as if it wasn't painfully obvious.

Marley said confidently, "I know they did. They didn't cover it up as well as they thought. I've been in their records, you see... in a very off-record way. I can't get into it, so trust me. But that isn't the point. I've spoken to Sirius and he's agreed to lend you his copy of the book."

Hermione felt like she'd been denied a few steps in an Arithmancy equation. "Wait. How did Sirius get a copy? And how exactly are you sure it was them if they covered it up - even if you have seen their records? How did you even get that close to Ministry documents discreetly? And why do I need the book? We all know Voldemort is alive and well - it's outdated information."

Slowly, Marley smiled. "The book is much more. In order to fully understand the world in which you live, you must be familiar with the past. There is no first and second war - it is all one, big war, conjoined without any separation. The book might very well be the difference between failure and victory."

Hermione said, "The difference between failure and victory for which side?"

Marley's eyes glinted with something crossed between amusement and knowing. "That is the question, isn't it?"

After a long moment of processing her words, Hermione said, "What's the books title?"

"The Trick, written by Messenger," Marley told her. "The mystery surrounding the book wasn't helped by the author's strange pen name. After the fire, no one did find out who Messenger was."

Something about the way Marley said that made something in Hermione's mind shift. "But... you did, didn't you? Or possibly still do?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know Messenger," Hermione stated, no longer an inquiry.

"I have no clue," Marley said, "what you are talking about. Regardless, the book is yours, according to Sirius. All you have to do is drop by Grimauld one of these days and pick it up."

That sense of urgency was tingling harsher in Hermione's head. "Do you think Sirius is awake right now?"

"Oh, most definitely," Marley said. "He rarely sleeps anymore."

Hermione didn't ask about how she knew Sirius's sleeping patterns, but instead said, "Then I'll go now."

Marley snorted. "Hermione, you're at a wedding. Surely it can wait until tomorrow."

"But... I don't think it can," Hermione said, her teeth worrying her bottom lip. "It'll only be a minute. I'll Apparate. No one will even notice I'm gone."

Marley said, "I can tell you're anxious, but really. The book will still be in the library come tomorrow morning. Promise."

"That's not what I'm worried about." Hermione pulled her wand out of her little purse and said, "If anyone asks, please tell them that... I forgot to wrap my wedding present." And before Marley could answer, she flicked her wand and Hermione ws gone.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. How do you think Sirius got the copy of the book? 3. What information do you think the book can offer?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	3. Shattered

A/N. Hey everyone! Here's a list of my own favorite fanfictions.

1. The Shoebox Project (Sirius/Remus story)

2. Fear Not Fate and its sequel Waiting on Winter by Bedelia (first is Fred/Hermione, second is George/Hermione)

3. The Marauders' Companion by Mibamonster (James/Lily)

4. Reason for Life and its sequel Perchance to Dream by LadySerenadeRETURNS (Hermione/Sirius)

5. Pet Project by Caeria (in all honesty, I kind of don't like it as much anymore, because, well... IT IS UNFINISHED AND THAT PISSES ME OFF, but still its ok I guess). (Severus/Hermione)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Three: Shattered

There was no answer. Hermione knocked two separate times and Sirius was no answering the door. The paranoia was sinking in and Hermione found herself worried over the older man's safety. Of course, he could just be out at the pub (hopefully, in disguise) or even asleep. But still, Hermione was on edge as it was, and needed reassurance.

So she began taking down the wards for her entrance. Being a Order member, she was privy to the specific passwords and incantations that protected the headquarters.

She stepped through the front door slowly, looking around and listening for voices. One hand gripped her wand, ready to hex at the sign of danger. She tried to will her feet to lighten on the ancient floorboards.

Then she heard the voices.

Voices that she never would expect to here together willingly.

Professor Snape hissed, "...stupid, Black. Stupider than I would expect from even you."

"Well, Snivellus, apparently think to good of me," Sirius said snidely.

It sounded like their voices were coming from the parlor, but she couldn't be sure because of the strange acoustics of the old house. It could just as well have coming from the kitchen or the stairs.

"This potion is -"

"Dangerous, yes, we know. We know the risks, Snape, you've listen them a dozen times," Sirius snapped.

Hermione inched closer to the parlor. They were definitely in there.

"Just... take caution," Snape said, and it sounded like she shoved the words through his clenched teeth. No love lost between these two men, obviously.

"Will do," Sirius said. "Now get out of my house, for Merlin's sake."

"Ahem," Hermione coughed delicately, stepping into the room.

Both of the men's eyes swung to her in surprise.

"Miss Granger," Snape said coldly.

"Hermione," Sirius said, in a warmer tone. One of his hands, closed around something - Hermione suspected it to be the potion they'd been talking about - slipped into his pocket discreetly. But Hermione noticed. "You look beautiful, my dear. But shouldn't you be and Bill's wedding?"

"Well, yes," Hermione said, "but I spoke to Marley, you see."

Snape's frown deepened and his dark eyes hardened. "Oh, _that_ one."

Sirius ignored this. "Did you? Was she polite? We're still teaching her manners, you know." His eyes twinkled. "Am I correct in assuming you're here for the book?"

"I am leaving," Snape said, shaking his head. He ducked into the fireplace and without another word, he exploded into green flame and was gone.

"Yes," Hermione said, answering Sirius's question. "I was a bit anxious to have it, what with everything that's happening."

"Of course, of course," Sirius said. "It's in the library, the shelf with the blue books, on the third shelf farthest to the right."

Hermione's eyes widened a bit. "You separate your books... by color?" One of her eyes twitched.

Sirius let out a bark of a laugh. "That face! Oh, my," he laughed. "That face, that reaction, brings back memories, darling. I once knew someone who felt the same way about my shelving system."

"It's... it's... just... it's horrific! By color, for Merlin's sake!"

"It certainly makes it easy to find," Sirius said.

"No, alphabetical would make it easy to find! Or by genre, or anything but color really!"

Chuckling, Sirius said, "I appreciate your concern for my ability to find books, but I promise you, I do not read willingly and I'll too lazy to rearrange an entire library."

Hermione did not point out that he was in hiding and effectively had all the time in the world, but she supposed that he could possibly be even lazy enough for it to outweigh book-shelving.

"So, book book. Third shelf. All the way to the right," he repeated. "While you go up and find it, I'll put on tea for us." Sirius gave a smile and then disappeared to the kitchen.

...

The library of the Ancient House of Black was... big. It was a very tall room with shelves that reached the ceiling, all packed, and with rows and rows on top of that. There was a sitting area, with a sofa and cushioned chair. And with a glance over the books - it was, indeed, sorted by color.

Hermione sighed. She had half a mind to hex the man.

But there was more than one section of blue books. As a matter of fact, there were five separate spaces with all blue books, all spread out over the room. Maybe, each one had a different genre? Or author?

The first cluster of blue books, she realized, were all fiction. The second were Dark magic, where she was almost scalded by an angry tome that wished to remain closed. Third was Light magic. And fourth...

Fourth, she was pleased to find, was composed completely of extremely rare books. Books that she only read about, books that were mostly legend. It was like Hermione's dream collection, but she had to focus. She counted the shelves and shifted all the way to the right and glided her finger along bindings until she found the book she wanted.

It was a surprisingly narrow book, rather small too. It like something that would almost fit in her purse _without _the Undetectable Extension Charm. On the cover, in plain gold letters read "THE TRICK" with the name Messenger beneath it.

She opened the small book, and out of it dropped a familiar little device.

A Time-Turner.

Hermione's heart started beating very fast. Something wasn't right. Hermione knelt down to lift the Turner carefully into her palm. It was white gold, this one, instead of traditional gold like the one she used in Third Year.

But this wasn't right. All the Time-Turners were destroyed with the Time Room in the Department of Mysteries during the battle there.

But then, she thought, Sirius also had a book that had supposedly been destroyed.

Hermione looked inside the book for compartments where the necklace could have been hidden, but there were none. It must have been concealed and trapped in the pages by magic.

"Hermione, are you in here?"

Hermione jumped half a foot in the air when she heard Sirius's voice all the way from the library entrance.

With the start, she'd banged into the old shelf, which promptly began to shake and then tumble.

Without and time to shriek, she rolled out of the way of the crashing shelf, but found herself caught under an onslaught of books anyway.

And in her efforts to escape the crushing, she dropped the delicate Time-Turner, the tiny hourglass shattering with the impact.

"No!" Hermione squeaked out, devastated about breaking such a special item, but then was met with a new sensation.

The axis of the broken hourglass began spinning and Hermione started feeling the world shifting. The scattered sand from the hourglass began sliding around as well, in a circle, in time with the white gold rings.

Suddenly, it was like being caught in a tornado, and Hermione hid her face in her elbow when she started seeing spots of white, almost like it began snowing.

Whatever was happening, it wasn't good.

...~oOo~...

Hermione did not enjoy the feeling of falling, which was why she really didn't like flying. Flying, playing Quidditch, it was all just an invitation to plummet accidentally to sudden death or injury. And when you're mid-air, heading towards the earth, your heart is in your stomach and throat at the same time, and your brain is gone, and her limbs feel numb.

Landing was even worse. With an unceremonious thump, Hermione hit the ground on her stomach, knocking every bit of air out of her. Although, for the amount of time she'd been falling, she hadn't smacked into the ground as hard as she'd have thought.

And she definitely wasn't in the Grimauld Place library anymore.

"Good afternoon," Albus Dumbledore said from his desk, looking over his half-moon glasses curiously at his visitor.

"Uh... hello, Headmaster," Hermione said shakily.

Then, out of the ceiling, rained dozens of books, all with blue covers. They clambered to the floor boisterously, a few hitting into Hermione before she had the chance to jump out of the way.

Dumbledore did not look in anyway appalled. Just... curious. "I can't say we've met before," he said, ignoring the new mess in his study.

"It's... Hermione, sir," Hermione answered slowly. "Hermione Granger."

"I have never had the privilege of meeting a Hermione Granger before," the man said with a small smile, standing from his chair. "But it's a pleasure, I'm sure."

Looking around, Hermione found that Dumbledore's office was different from the last time she'd seen it. There were different portraits in different places and Fawkes was a baby, instead of adult like she'd last seen him. She knew Phoenixes when through cycles, but if her memory served correctly, Fawkes should be full-grown now. Not newly hatched. The little red bird squeaked at her.

"Sir, what year is it?" she asked nervously, remembering the death of the Time-Turner.

"1972," he answered, not at all put-off by the question.

The nausea came on strong, and Hermione's heart was thumping like a jack rabbit behind her ribs. Her lungs were being squeezed by panic and she started muttering, "Oh God, oh God, oh God." She began swaying, feeling faint and Dumbledore put a wrinkled hand on her shoulder, gently guiding her to a seat across from his desk.

"Perhaps it would be best if you told me exactly what happened, Hermione," Dumbledore said, returning to the seat behind his desk. With a fluid motion of his wand, a silver tray of tea things appeared on the desk, one cup steaming and ready in front of her.

"I was in the Black family library -"

"I'm sorry, but why were you there?"

"I... I was picking up a book," she explained, feeling lost. Where was she supposed to begin. "And... and Sirius Black is a friend, he was lending me it. I wasn't stealing," she added quickly.

"I didn't think you were, dear," Dumbledore said calmly.

"And, well... I found the book and opened it, and out of it fell a Time-Turner, and then I knocked into the shelf by accident, and it started falling, and I rolled out of the way and dropped the Time-Turner and it broke, and then it got really weird. The world started spinning and then I started falling. And now... I'm here." All of the words fell out of her mouth from a single breath.

"Indeed," Dumbledore said, "you are here."

Hermione took a deep, unsteady breath. "I... I'm from 1998, sir. And I need to go back."

Dumbledore was stirring his tea, and he fell into a contemplative silence. "I'm afraid that is impossible, Hermione."

"What!"

"The design flaw of the Time-Turner is that it can only transport one back in time, not forward," Dumbledore said, putting down his spoon and lifting his cup. It was plain white china with a scalloped lip. "The Unspeakables at the Ministry had been trying to remedy this for ages, with potions and new Turners, but nothing seems to work. Personally I like to think that this only confirms that the future is what you make it."

Of course, Hermione knew this, but she had been hoping that because he is Albus Dumbledore that he'd have a solution anyway. After all, he was famous for managing the impossible. Nothing was out of reach for him.

But, Hermione thought with a heavy sadness, he was not God. He was not immortal, as she well knew from her one time.

She felt the back of her eyes begin to burn and rubbed at them with her fist, trying to shove the tears away. "What... what am I supposed to do? If I'm stuck here..."

"Well, first and foremost, I must tell you," Dumbledore said, "that because you are 'stuck here' as you say, you mustn't tamper with any events that you know have happened. I do not know if you, maybe, have an aunt or friend or parent who died or was injured this year, but you must let it happen regardless. Do you understand?"

It broke Hermione's heart, but she nodded. She understood.

"How old are you, Hermione?"

"Seventeen, sir."

"And you attend Hogwarts?"

"I did," Hermione confirmed, getting a sick feeling about where this was going.

"What House were you in?"

"Gryffindor," she said. "But... but why do you ask?"

"Well, I need a dormitory, don't you?" he said as if it were obvious. "And a House. You can't very well stay at Hogwarts without a House."

"Sir!" Hermione said, her eyes huge. "I... I can't stay here!"

"Of course you can," he said, sipping his tea. "Why not?"

"Well, for one, this is very strange, isn't it? I am from 26 years in the future! I can't just blend in with the rest of the students, we're from different eras! And why, in the name of all that's good, did I land here? I should be back in the library, shouldn't I? Because that's where the Time-Turner broke?" she rambled, hyperventilating.

Dumbledore set down his tea cup gently and then leaned forward on his desk, his fingers steepled. "Hermione, did you know that Time-Turners have precautionary charms? The owner of a Time-Turner is responsible to charm the piece, in the case of destruction or accidental breaking, to transport them to a time and place. It is unavoidable for a broke Time-Turner to change time, but at least it is controlled this way. It is recommended that an owner charms the Turner to go no more than twenty-four hours back in time, preferably to a safe house.

"And yet... this Time-Turner has pushed you back 26 years, and has landed you in my office," Dumbledore said, a smile adorning his lips, and a twinkle in his periwinkle eyes. "Make no mistake, Hermione. I do not believe you found that Time-Turner by accident. And whoever cast those precautionary charms... well, they wanted you here for a reason."

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Who do you think set the Time-Turner to go back to that year? 3. Predictions?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	4. Meeting the Marauders

A/N. As I write this, I am wearing a facial mask. It is hardening like that shell-chocolate you put on icecream. It is difficult to move my face. Just thought I'd share.

How was YOUR day? Answer in the reviews! Or send me a PM! Really, I love to hear all about you guys!

So, as I'm planning out this story and coming up with plots in my mind, I realize that after writing TLM it has been REALLY weird for me to write Hermione with anyone but Remus - I'm not changing the pairing of course, I just feel like I'm cheating Remus in some way. But I shall push on! After all, I love reading Hermione/Sirius stories, I just have to get in the swing of writing them.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, I would have killed Ron and kept Fred. Really.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Four: Meeting the Marauders

Hermione, with nothing but her little beaded purse and the copy of The Trick, walked down the corridors of Hogwarts, a huge cloak of distress and confusion draped over her. She felt an overwhelming lostness that gripped her around the heart and lungs.

It was like being in a different country, only worse. At least if she were in a different country, she could fly back home, but no. She was stuck. The people there were going to be from a different generation, therefore have a different way of speaking and acting. She was just grateful it was evening and past curfew, because she didn't think she could handle being thrown straight into the throngs after only having a few moments to breathe.

At least she could get a few hours of sleep to mentally and emotionally prepare herself for the next day.

Term had only started a week before, so classes were only just picking up, but she'd been studying for Seventh Year since the day she got her Hogwarts letter. Of course, Hermione was still panicking. What about the curriculum had changed in twenty years? Surely it was a lot! And the teachers! She didn't know most of them, and therefore she wasn't on their good side. What if they disliked her?

There was just so much to do and errands that needed running before she felt properly prepared for -

She then heard fervent whispering and hissing.

"Dammit -"

"What the -"

"We are too big for this thing -"

"It isn't my fault!"

"Of course it's your bloody fault, you great pr-"

"Shush!"

The voices quieted further, but didn't cease. They just became a harsh little hum and footfalls.

Hermione followed the noise, walking carefully down the rest of the halls and then waiting at the corner, listening to what was happening only just around the turn.

"This is so bloody difficult without the Map..." one voice said morosely.

"And whose fault is that, exactly?"

"I already said I was sorry!"

"Can we stop passing around the blame?"

"Shut up, Moons."

"Yeah, Remus, stop being so fucking reasonable."

"Moony is right, you two are acting like children. So Sirius, stop making Peter feel even worse than he does. I mean, look what he's done. He is the reason why the most incredible tool in the history of the universe that we worked years on perfecting is now in Filch's hands. I'm sure he already feels awful."

"Thanks, Prongs, really, for reminding me," a nasally voice grumbled.

"Your welcome, Wormtail. Now let's go!"

Hearing the familiar nicknames, Hermione's pulse started doing hopscotch and she poked her head around the corner, desperate for some confirmation.

But no one was there.

"Wait, wait, wait," one of the voice hissed as quietly as possible - but Hermione still heard and the footfalls stopped.

The Invisibility Cloak. Of course. The boys must have seen her and frozen.

Hermione cleared her throat. "Um. Excuse me, but uh... I know you're there."

"Who's the bird?" she heard the most high-pitched of the voices say.

"Wormtail, shut up!"

Then Hermione caught sight of a sock-sheathed toe appear in the hall, only two yards away from her. Someone wasn't paying attention to their feet from under the Cloak.

"I'm not a Prefect," Hermione said. "I'm not going to get you in trouble." Goodness knew how many nights she, Ron, and Harry spent sneaking out after curfew under that very same Cloak. She felt a lot of sadness along with nostalgia. It was very possible she would never see her best friends and now... she had a very strong want to see the father Harry never knew.

There was a long silence before one of the voices, a familiar one, said, "Oooooh! Ooooh! I am a ghoooooost!"

"For Merlin's sake, Pads, will you knock it off?"

"Oi! At least I'm doing something, unlike you, Moony!"

"My name is Hermione," she said, inching closer to the lonesome toe. She just wanted to see their faces and she wouldn't be able to sleep until she did. The curiosity was killing her. "And... I'm new here."

"You don't look like a First Year."

"Wormtail, that's as obvious as it gets."

"But she just said that she was - !"

"New, yes," Hermione finished for him. "But not a First Year. A... transfer, I suppose you could say."

"Are you from Durmstrang?"

"Don't be stupid, Prongs, she's obviously a Beauxbaton's girl."

"I dunno, she's not fit enough to be a Veela -"

"Christ, Pads, can you be any ruder? I apologize for my friends." And with that, the Cloak was yanked from over top of them, revealing its hidden boys.

The boy holding the Cloak was... spitting image of Harry. But of course, everyone had always said that Harry was identical to James, so it wasn't much of a surprise - except for the eyes (of course) which, in James's face, were hazel.

James continued saying, "They don't know how to act in front of a lady."

"Yeah, like you _do_," one of the other boys snorted. Hermione knew the face, the stature, the height, the long, silky black hair and smoky eyes. The handsome young man was no other than a teenage Sirius Black.

"I do!" James persisted.

"Evans would beg to differ," Remus said neutrally, but his eyes were examining Hermione closely. Young Remus was certainly a more classical brand of handsome with a unique sort of nose, sandy blondish-brown hair, and light eyes with three slightly irritated scars across his nose and cheeks. He was tall and lean, thin in comparison to the broad-shouldered Sirius or athletically built James.

"Who are you?" the last boy asked without preamble. He wasn't what Hermione had imagined Peter to look like at a young age. In her mind, she always saw a ugly thing with rat-like expressions, but he wasn't evil-looking at all. He looked sort of confused, had a round face, was the shortest among his friend, and a chubby belly with nervously clasped hands. His hair was light, his eyes brown, and he looked oddly... innocent.

"She already said who she was," James said. "Hermione, right?"

She nodded. "Yes. Hermione. And you are..."

"I'm James Potter," James said with a prideful sort of look, like this should mean something to everyone. Like his name was famous - which, in this era of Hogwarts, it probably was. "This bookish-looking fiend is Remus Lupin, the tall-dark-handsome-and-prattish is none other than Sirius Black, and this special little bugger is Peter Pettigrew." James gave Peter's hair a goodnatured ruffle.

"Pleased to meet all of you," Hermione said, putting on a smile. "If you don't mind my asking, what are the four of you adult boys doing crouching under a Cloak past curfew?"

"Confidential," Sirius said automatically.

"Top secret," Peter confirmed.

James added, "One of those strictly need-to-know things. And well, we don't really know you..."

"So you don't need to know," Sirius finished for him. He turned to his Harry-twin friend and said, "Can we get this over with already? Or are you not done chatting up this strangely formally dressed young girl?"

"Yes, why are you so formally dressed?" Peter inquired, ignoring the glare Sirius sent him.

Hermione looked down at her knee-length red dress that she'd worn to Bill and Fleur's wedding. She had actually forgotten she was wearing it. She looked up and said and said, "Uh... at... Beauxbaton's Academy we were taught to dress like... ladies."

"Ah-hah! So she is from Beauxbaton's!" Peter said triumphantly. "After all, look how pretty she is!"

Such a compliment from the mouth of a rat like Peter made Hermione feel immediately slimy, and she felt the shiver roll down her spine.

She noticed Sirius's head cocked to the side, much in the fashion of a intrigued puppy, and scaling his gaze up and down her. "Eh," he hedged. "Wouldn't say she was Beauxbaton-material pretty, actually."

Insulted, Hermione shifted her shoulders back and said, "Well, don't you know, that's why they kicked me out. I wasn't _pretty_ enough for them."

Peter's brow furrowed. "They can kick you out for that?"

"She's being sarcastic, Peter," Remus explained. "Because Sirius was being a jerk."

"What! It's true!" Sirius said indignantly. "Those women are goddesses and this one is just... well, you see her."

"I do," Remus said, "and what I see is a very attractive young woman who doesn't deserve to be treated so rudely. You aren't exactly giving her a good Hogwarts Welcome, Sirius."

Sirius shrugged like this didn't concern him. He looked sick of the conversation and ready to get along with whatever they'd been doing before Hermione interrupted them. He didn't look at all impressed with Hermione, and maybe even a little miffed for her appearance.

"I apologize for interfering on whatever late-night... activities you were... doing," Hermione said, suddenly feeling very stupid. Under normal circumstances, she'd be standing up for herself and explaining that what she lacked in looks she made up for in brains. But she was so unbearably tired and over-all confused, she just didn't have the energy or drive. "I'll be on my way." Tucking her beaded handbag under her armpit so that she could use both hands to open the book, she began walking away, reading as she did.

Really, though, she couldn't focus on the words. They all floated around the page, so she shut it back up, turned around once more to give a last wave to the now-invisibly Marauders, and she was on her way.

...~oOo~...

The Marauders were very good at two things. One was pranks. The other was running. The sprinting they did because of Mrs. Norris had to be equivalent to the training Olympians did, because after six years, they were fast. Even Peter was fast enough to almost keep up, and the foot or two he lagged behind, they all blamed on his shorter legs.

They'd squeaked the password to the Fat Lady in unison and flew threw the opening and into the Gryffindor common room. Once the portrait was shut behind them, the four boys collapsed to the ground in relief.

Well, Peter collapsed, Remus dropped against the wall, James's shoulders fell and Sirius went to his knees and then fell onto his face dramatically.

"I... hate... that fucking... cat," Sirius growled into the carpet.

"I think we all do, Pads," James answered, breathing heavily from their run.

Remus dragged his hand down his face. "I hate you. All of you. If we'd been caught..."

"Oh, don't worry so much Remus, I'm Head Boy, remember?" James said with a goofy grin.

"Thinking about his Boyship," Sirius said, smirking, "you better run back to your private dorms before Evans deducts a thousand points from you."

"It's alright, I think I'll spend the night here."

Peter's eyes lit up. "Really? Just like old times?"

"If by 'old times' you mean last year, then yes."

"I must admit," said Remus, "or room just isn't the same without your harmonious snoring, James. I've barely slept a wink without your special, sleep apnea lullabies."

"Speaking of snoring, look who's on the couch," Peter said, dropping his voice to a whisper.

They all turned their heads in unison to the sitting area where the same girl they'd run into in the hallway was lying across, sleeping. She wasn't quite snoring like Peter had implied, but making quiet sighing sounds, soft and even with her breathing. A light blanket was over her, but it'd slipped down to her hips, so that her upper-body was exposed. She was wearing a blue camisole with little beads along the neckline, a blue book open wide draped over and covering her breasts. In one of her hands she clutched a small purse.

"Why do you think she's down here?" Peter asked, sounding almost concerned.

"Looks like she fell asleep reading," Remus observed. Head tilted, Remus slowly began walking over to the couch. "I wonder what she's reading." He stopped short when James said:

"Merlin, there's a girl sleeping in barely anything in front of you and all you can think about is what literature she's into?" James scoffed. "Seriously, Moony, we're going to have to teach you have to fantasize. Now, come on, it's creepy with all of us staring at her like this." He strolled towards the stairs up to the boys' dorms, waving for his friends to follow.

Following behind, Sirius said, "Why the hell do we keep running into that bird? Twice in one night!"

Peter, trailing like a loyal duckling said excitedly, "Perhaps she's my Evans!"

Sirius snorted. "C'mon, Peter, you can do better than her."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "No, I can't. She's great!"

"And what does he mean by 'his Evans'?" Remus asked.

"You know, like his soul mate," James explained, climbing the stairs. "Like she is the Lily to his James." He shot a smile back to them all.

"But really," Sirius said shortly, "Pete can do better."

"What's got your knickers in a twist?" James asked once they got to their door, swinging it open. "She's just a girl, Sirius, a species of which you are very familiar. And we've only just met her."

Sirius's nose wrinkled. "I dunno. I just don't like her. And she's very plain-looking. Almost ugly, really."

"That's a lie, and you know it," Remus said, sliding onto his bed. "You're just upset that Operation Recover Map failed."

Throwing himself theatrically onto his bed, Sirius lounged like a tortured poet waiting for the end. "Oh, Moony!" he moaned. "We were so close! I don't know how long I can go on whilst knowing that my baby, my one true love, is being held captive by that bastard Filch!"

"We're all upset about the Map, Sirius," James said, tucking himself under the covers of his old bed. "Worst comes to worse, we make a new one."

"But we poured our soul into that one!" Sirius cried. "There can only ever be one Marauders' Map!"

Ignoring his best friend's tendencies to blow everything out of proportion, James sighed and mumbled, "I wish I had my pajamas."

"You could easily make it to the Heads' rooms without being seen, James," Remus pointed out.

"Yeah, what's stopping you?" Peter asked.

Heaving a sigh, James said, "Well... in all honesty... Evans changed the password to our dorms to punish me. Something about being a sexist pig and eating shorts... I dunno what she said, but bottom line is that I can't go back in our dorms until she sees fit."

Sirius barked a laugh. "What do you know? It's like their married already."

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Predictions? 3. What do you think Lily changed the password to?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	5. The Not-So Apology

A/N. Thank you, all of you, for the great reviews I've been receiving! I love hearing from each and every one of you, and it definitely gets me writing faster with every review I get.

I know I've had quite a few of typos, and I'm hoping to change that from here on out. I'm REALLY trying to find time to proofread, which might mean small delays on updating, but I hope you'll all hang in there with me.

One small typo (none of you mentioned it, but it bothered the fuck out of me when I found it), the last line that Sirius says, "What do you know? It's like their married already." That "their" should be a "they're". I am sorry *bows head in shame*.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Five: The Not-So Apology

"Um... excuse me? Hello? Miss, are you awake?"

Hermione's head was thrumming and she didn't know why, but the voices weren't making it any easier. Her eyes felt glued shut and knew it would be painful to open them up. So in response, she grumbled and turned over in her bed. It was probably Harry or Ron or...

But it was a girl's voice. It all came flooding back to her in a series of mental pictures and events like a horror movie. Her eyes flew open, then.

And the face above her - blurry at first, then slowly becoming clearer - was, indeed, female and round-faced with short brown hair and lively light brown eyes. Hermione had never seen the girl before, but the face was familiar.

"Sorry to wake you, but... who are you? Why didn't you sleep in your dorm?" the girl asked, sounding concerned. Almost like she was talking to a frightened animal.

Hermione swallowed and raised one hand to cover her mouth from blowing morning breath into the other girl's face. "I'm Hermione. I'm, uh, new here. Transfer. You are?"

"My name's Alice," the girl said with a wide smile. "Alice Gold. Are you alright? Don't you have a place to sleep?"

"Well, yes, but everyone was sleeping when I arrived and... I didn't want to wake anyone," Hermione explained groggily, shifting into a sitting position and yanking up one of the fallen straps of her camisole. "I'm sorry if I took up too much space."

"Oh, don't worry about that!" Alice said. "I just didn't want you to miss breakfast, is all. It's just began."

"Oh, no," Hermione said, picking herself up off the couch and gathering her things. "I'm going to be late!"

"It's okay!" Alice said, smiling. "You can get ready in my room - we have a spare bed, actually. Come along."

Soon enough, Hermione was "unpacked" in Alice's room. She had only one uniform in her beaded bag, so she'd have to ask Dumbledore if she could make a run to Hogsmeade one of these evenings. She had all of the textbooks from her own era, but would have to check the dates and see what was required currently.

She felt slightly dirty since she hadn't had time to shower, but rolled on plenty of deodorant and cast a few charms so that no one would be offended by sitting next to her. Alice waited politely for Hermione to finish, insisting that she be the one to walk Hermione down to the Great Hall and to introduce her to everyone.

"After all, you'll need a tour guide," Alice said brightly, her short legs swinging as she sat on her own untidy bed. "And I know just about everything there is to know about Hogwarts. You'll love it here, I promise!"

As Alice walked Hermione down to breakfast, Hermione had to hide a chuckle as Alice told her about every room and statue they passed. It was strange, being introduced like it was your first time to a place you've spent your last six years in.

But it turned out being helpful, actually. There were one or two statues absent in this era as well as a few portraits.

The Great Hall was exactly the same, of course. The ceiling displayed a pretty sky with clouds and light blues. It was going to be a morning with nice weather, at least.

Hermione didn't know anyone at any of the tables, though.

Alice said, "Come on!" She took Hermione hand. "Now you've got to meet my friends! You'll like them, I know it."

Hermione was led hastily to a group of Gryffindor girls who were all chatting and laughing. And one of them she couldn't help but feel she might now in the future...

"Lily, this is Hermione, she's new!" Alice said, tapping on the redhead's shoulder. "Hermione, this is Lily - the Head Girl!"

The Head Girl stood up from her seat and faced Hermione with a broad smile. "I'm Lily Evans," the girl said, holding out her hand and making eye contact with Hermione.

But Hermione wasn't looking into Lily's eyes - she was looking into Harry's. Bright, unpolluted green.

...~oOo~...

James's head dropped into the table and he groaned. "Why... why does the new girl get to sit with Evans and she won't even _look _at me!"

"Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that Evans hates you," Remus said calmly, turning the page of the book he was reading.

"This girl is going to be a problem, I can feel it," Sirius mumbled, stabbing at his sausage savagely with his fork. "Already she's discovered the Invisibility Cloak and now she's getting all cozy with Evans? She gives me the heebie-jeebies. She smells like trouble."

Peter was shaking his head. "Why are you being so mean, Sirius? Look at her. She just looks so confused and lonely and cute. What's so wrong with her?"

James sighed and poured himself more pumpkin juice. "Alright, so it's true - her knowing about the Cloak is a bad thing. But it's not like she'll tell anyone. The only thing we were doing wrong was staying out after curfew and she already said she'd stay quiet. But Peter is right, too. Sirius, you're being a big prat and I don't like it."

Sirius put on a big pout. "But -"

"Not 'buts'!" James said with conviction, slamming his mug down to the table with what was supposed to be finality. The juice sloshed over the sides and splashed his hand. "I am Head Boy," he said, ignoring his mess. He licked the juice off of his palm and fingers and continued, "And I am in charge."

"Whoever thought this Head Boy thing would go to your head was obviously mistaken," Remus said with that subtle, dry sarcasm that only Remus could really pull off.

Pretending he didn't hear Remus's comment, James said, "I think you should go apologize to her."

Peter joined in. "Yeah! You could be insulting the future Mrs. Pettigrew!"

"Lord, I hope not," Sirius grumbled. "I have no reason to apologize."

"Except for, you know, calling her ugly and stupid right in front of her," Remus said dryly. "And for being the complete opposite of a gentleman. But other than that, of course, no reason whatsoever."

With narrowed eyes, Sirius glared at Remus and said, "Since when did you become such a sarcastic prat?"

"Since I started hanging around you."

James said, "Sirius, Remus is right. As he always is. You need to go say sorry before it gets around to Lily that one of my friends is a complete arsehole to girls - especially one that she's apparently friends with now."

Peter cleared his throat.

With a sigh, James added, "_And_ before she thinks Peter, her future husband, is a sexist arse by proxy."

"I'm not going to do it," Sirius said stubbornly.

"Oh," James said with a menacing look, "but you _are_."

...

Hermione was listening to Lily's explanation of required textbooks intently when there was an obnoxiously loud clearing of a throat from behind her. All the the girls sitting around her all looked behind Hermione, some with adoring smiles and other with looks of contempt. Hermione turned around as well and found Sirius Black.

The boy's black hair was swept out of his eyes, his muscled shoulders slumped, and his hands stuffed into his wrinkled trousers - boys obviously didn't know how to use ironing charms. He looked very reluctant and agitated.

"Hermione, right?" he started by saying, his voice gruff.

Slowly, Hermione nodded.

Sirius cleared his throat again and said, "Apparently, I owe you an apology. At least, my friends think so."

Lily scoffed. "Since when have your friends been willing to apologize for anything?"

Sirius glared. "Since one of them fancied themselves in love with you, that's when." He turned back to Hermione and sighed. "So, yes. I'm sorry. I was... rude. And ungentlemanly, for which I am ashamed - because if there's one thing we Black men are, it's gentlemen. While you may not look anything like a Veela, and even though I was completely honest, it was wrong of me to say it out loud. Clearly, that's something I need to work on."

Cocking an eyebrow, Hermione said at length, "Are you _serious_?"

"As a matter of fact, I am," Sirius said cheekily.

"Was that really your version of an apology?" she demanded, half-disgusted, rising from her seat, pushing her shoulders back. "I've met rodents who apologize for nipping better than that! Could you really not suck it up and lie through your teeth for one minute? It's not that difficult!"

"News flash, you should be thanking me for such honesty." Sirius stepped forward so that they were face to face, breathing in each other's air. "I'm as Real as it gets, baby, so excuse me for not being like every other cotton-candy-mouthed prick who says only what women want to hear."

An image of the adult bachelor Sirius, Harry's godfather, flashed through her mind. "No wonder you're alone," Hermione said before she could catch herself.

Sirius barked indignantly. "Alone? I'm far from alone, love."

"I mean," Hermione amended, back-tracking with as much dignity as possible, "you are going to die alone if you don't start treating women better. If you think being like this is cool, then you're wrong. Right now girls might be eating out of your palms because this bad boy routine is alluring, but no adult woman, in five years, is going to want anything do with you."

"That's where you're wrong," Sirius said solemnly. "I am going to be well-liked, charming, and attractive forever. But all you'll ever be is the ugly duckling... and men, well, they'll only ever want a swan."

...

Everyone in the Great Hall watched the argument in rapture. Sirius Black had never been so blunt with a lady before - he was too busy being charming. And the new girl had a fire-tongue, lashing out her own scalding insults. Their glares were so dark and intense that no one dared approach and their boys coiled tightly like springs.

James was shaking his head. "Perhaps I was wrong."

Peter snorted. "You think?"

Remus sighed and rubbed his forehead. "This is all going to end very badly, I can feel it."

Tipping his head to the side, James watched the unadulterated anger pass between his best friend and the new girl. "Guys... do you remember last night when Peter said that the Hermione girl could be his Evans?"

Remus and Peter both nodded.

"I think, maybe... he was wrong." James smirked. "If that furious look on her face says anything... she might just be Sirius's Evans instead."

...

With a deep breath, Hermione said, "Sirius Black, consider this a warning. If you ever come near me again, I'll hex your hair off."

"You don't need to worry about it, love," Sirius said cockily, his dark eyes glinting. "Because before you know it, you'll be _begging_ me to come near you."

"Don't hold your breath," Hermione hissed, grabbing her books off the table. "Or better yet, do hold your breath. Because that might just eliminate the problem." And she marched out of the Great Hall, slamming her shoulder into his as she went, anger trailing behind like like a tangible wake.

Alice hopped up from her seat like a little rabbit and scurried after Hermione, face flushed and looking worried.

Like a queen, Lily rose from her own spot and faced Sirius with an expression that made it clear who was really in charge. She said, "I would take points from you, but that would mean taking points from Hermione. So instead, I'm just going to make it clear - you treat her like that again and you'll be scrubbing Slughorn's cauldron until graduation."

Sirius shrugged, though he was obviously still wound up. He began backing away casually. "As always, Lily, it's been a pleasure." And he made his own path out of the Great Hall.

Hogwarts had never seen Sirius Black, usually such a fun-loving and careless soul, so... mean. And it wouldn't be the last time, either.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Why do you think Sirius is being such a prat? 3. Where do you think Hermione's marched off to?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	6. The Definition of Stalking

A/N. I am happy that a lot of you enjoyed the Hermione/Sirius fight in the last chapter. Obviously, this wasn't love at first sight! Haha!

I am... tired. It is midnight here and I want to sleep... but I am determined to write!

Anyway, a lot of you have been asking about why Sirius is being such a jerk. Well, there are a few reasons which will be pointed out in the story, but I have one I'd like to make here.

Have you ever met someone that, right from the moment you meet them, you just DO NOT like? So much that it might even be hate? I have. And because of Sirius's tendency to overdo EVERYTHING (pranks, women, that deal where he almost killed Snape), he is reacting in a way that I feel he would.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Six: The Definition of Stalking

It was the start of a beautiful rivalry, the incident in the Great Hall. The next few weeks were composed of snide comments and nasty notes and a little stalking - on Sirius's end, at least.

"Explain to me again why we're going to the library," Peter said about two weeks later.

Peter was the only one who would accompany Sirius on his journey to break Hermione down. It was mostly because it was a sure-fire way of getting to stare at her for a bit while Sirius schemed. James and Remus refused to play any part in the ridiculous games Sirius was playing. Remus wouldn't because he had more sense. James wouldn't because he wanted to get on good terms with Lily.

Sirius huffed. "Isn't it obvious, Wormy? It's where That Girl spends all of her bloody time. Typical. A bookworm and a prude."

Sirius never said Hermione's name. It was strictly "That Girl" or "Her" or "hisshissgrumblegrumbleUGH".

"If you dislike her so much, why do we follow her so often?" Peter asked, brow furrowed.

"You'd think that being a Marauder would teach you something about recon, Peter," Sirius grumbled, rolling his eyes. "You must know your target better than they know themselves to properly play a prank, because they won't see it coming for miles."

"But -"

"Peter, just trust me on this," Sirius said, slicing him off as they entered the library. "Now, shush. If Madame Pince sees us, she'll kick us out. Technically, I'm banned from the library."

Sirius and Peter gently closed the door behind them and began tip-toeing in the opposite direction of Madame Pince's desk. They swerved behind a large shelf, Peter almost tripping over himself, and only halted when someone behind them said:

"What exactly are you two doing in here?"

They both carefully spun on their heels. Remus was standing there, arms crossed and eyebrow raised suspiciously. He had one book tucked under his armpit and his tie was loosened. He did not look happy.

"Books, Remus," Sirius lies smoothly. "Why else would one enter a library?"

"You don't read, Padfoot," Remus said bluntly. "And I can think of a number of reasons one would enter a library apart from books. For example... stalking an intelligent young lady, perhaps?"

"It isn't stalking if she knows I'm there."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure it's still considered stalking. And you're dragging poor Pete into it."

"He isn't here against his will, St. Moony," Sirius said. "He came because he wanted to, didn't you, Worms?"

Peter shrugged. "I just wanted to see Hermione."

Sirius visibly winced at her name.

"What is your issue with her?" Remus demanded.

"I don't have an issue with her, she has an issue with me."

With a big breath, Remus set his book onto the shelf next to them and said, "Let us review the last two weeks we've been here, shall we? Sirius, you have sent a flock of anger, pecking paper birds on Hermione in History of Magic. Which she ignored. Then, Sirius, you put a Slipping Charm outside her bedroom right after her bath so that she slipped and fell, and accidently showed her bum to the entire dormitories. She blushed and ran into her room, but continued to ignore you. Then you stole all of her quills and notes before a test in Charms. She simply asked to borrow a neighbor's and ignored you. Is anyone else seeing a pattern?"

Sirius said, "You're making me sound far worse than I actually am."

"You've been harassing the poor girl and all she's done is ignore you!"

"Ah, but she's been ignoring me with a vengeance!"

"It's all in your head, Sirius," Remus sighed. "She hasn't said a single word to you since the day she arrived and you can't even say her name."

"I can say her name."

"Oh, really? Then say it."

"Granger."

"Her _name_."

"I just did!"

"Her _first_ name," Remus said exhaustedly.

"I don't care about her enough to use her first name!" Sirius said, tossing his hands in the air. "Now, excuse me, but I have pranks to plan, thank you very much, Mr. Kill-Joy Moony."

...~oOo~...

A large tome open in front of her, Hermione was researching time travel to within an inch of her life. Most nights she slept in the library - especially after the Slipping Incident where she showed every girl in Gryffindor her behind. She had learned a lot from being bullied by Draco, and she was going to treat Sirius the same way. Fighting fire with fire would do nothing - besides, she had better things to do. Like study.

Sitting across from her at the table in the library was Lily and Alice was next to her. The latter wasn't studying, but instead resting her head on the wood and taking a brief nap.

There wasn't much on time travel anywhere. The most common mention of it was tied with the Time-Turner, but obviously there wasn't much there. Each turn brought you an hour back. Each one had a default activation in case of breaking. It only went back in time, not forward.

It really did no good.

"You know," Lily said, "I can report Black, you know. If he's following you so much -"

"It's not a big deal, Lily," Hermione said before the girl could get on her Anti-Marauder soap box. "I can hold my own against Sirius Black. He's not very intimidating."

"Alice says you've been sleeping in the library," Lily said.

"That's more by accident than on purpose," Hermione explained. "I've been consumed by a rather important... project. A private project. For... History of Magic."

Lily's eyes lit up with curiosity. "Really? What about?"

"Um... nothing really. Just, you know... history. Anyway, I haven't found much information, so it's not use."

"Well," Lily said, "if you need any... Restricted books, I am Head Girl, I can give you access to the Restricted Section."

"You would do that?"

"Sure," Lily said with a shrug. "I just have to let Madame Pince know that I'll be in there. I can show you around the shelves in there tomorrow if you'd like?"

"That would be brilliant," Hermione said gratefully. "Thank you!"

"No problem," Lily said with a broad smile, flicking her red mane behind a shoulder. "What else are Head Girls for?" Then her smile faded and her head turned. She brushed back her hair and seemed to be listening intently. Then she bursted up out of her chair and exclaimed, "Sirius Black! Peter Pettigrew! I know you're hiding there!"

Only Peter poked his head out, chuckling nervously. "Oh! Hello, Evans! How are you this fine day?"

"It's evening, Pettigrew," Lily said, crossing her arms.

"Um, evening then. Um, just picking up books, you see?" Peter grabbed a random volume from the case next to him. "Research, and all. For class. Well, uh, I'll be going now. Lovely to see you, Hermione. Alice. Toot-aloo!"

"Not so fast!" Lily snapped. "Where's Black?"

"Probably halfway to China by now," Remus said, strolling out from the stacks, a book in his hand. "I already deducted points for unlawful creepiness, in case you were curious."

"Thank you, Lupin," Lily said with a grin. "I appreciate that having idiots for friends doesn't muddy your Prefect abilities."

"If anything it just strengthens them," Remus said with a smirk. "You lot studying? Mind if I join?" It seemed like he was acting Hermione for permission, who nodded.

"By all means," Hermione said, gesturing to the seat next to her. "It's not your fault your friends are insane."

"It sort of is," Remus admitted with a sigh, opening his own text and spreading out his parchment. He set up his inkwell and said, "After all, I'm a Prefect. I should be able to keep them inline."

"Poor, poor Remus," Lily said, shaking her head with a soft smile. "It would take an entire cavalry to keep those boys inline."

...~oOo~...

Potions, even Advanced Potions, came easily to Sirius. As it did James. Remus was ace at Potions, but only because he studied his rump off. And Peter was useless at brewing, so he didn't have the same class as the rest of his friends unfortunately. He'd tried to weasel his way in, but McGonagall wasn't allowing it. He would have to remain in the Seventh Year Basic Potions course.

Slughorn was a jolly kind of guy, real friendly, but had a serious preference for those of talent or noble, famous blood. He'd tried collecting Sirius until he gave up because Sirius didn't want anything to do with having the name Black. Sirius's brother, however, was one of Slughorn's stars, of course. If Regulus wasn't a Black, he might have gotten into the Slug Club just by being the talented Seeker that he was.

But Slughorn, a Slytherin, was expected to covet good connections. It was the ambition that fueled him, that all Slytherins possessed. At least he wasn't totally evil, Sirius thought.

Sirius took his seat next to Remus, the desks directly in front of James and Frank Longbottom. Frank wasn't the best at potions, but because he planned to be an Auror, he needed to take the class - and with the naturally intelligent James Potter as his partner, he was doing all right.

Only about two rows over, Hermione sat with an empty spot beside her as she took out her brand new Potions text and some fresh parchment. To the surprise of James and Sirius, when Lily walked in, she went over to Hermione where they exchanged a few pleasant words before Lily sat beside her.

James groaned. "Come. ON. I hate the world." And for the hundredth time since they started term, James threw his face down into the table.

"You won't hate it much longer, mate," Sirius said with a mischievous grin. "Just... wait."

Remus was massaging his temples. "This is going to end terribly, I can feel it."

Class began and everything was going along smoothly. Slughorn gave the assignment. They were brewing a difficult bruise salve, and Remus began working diligently right away, reading the instructions from their book carefully - but Sirius's eyes were two rows over.

Hermione waved her wand over the cauldron, bring up its heat and then she reached for two vials. With one she tipped two drops of the silvery wicked, and the other she poured about a half cup. And then, when she tried to put them down...

Well. She couldn't put them down.

With a furrowed brow, Hermione tried opening her hand, but the vial would not come unstuck from her palm. With slowly ascending panic, she began shaking her hands. In her attempts, one of her arms knocked into another ingredient - which also stuck to her arm. Now she had three flasks all sticking to her.

Beside her, Lily was watching in deep confusion and concern as Hermione gew more frantic. As she spoke words of assurance and calmly, Lily reached out to take one of the vials off of Hermione's hand - but found she couldn't pull her own hand away either.

In sync, both girls whipped their heads towards the Marauders with dark, vengeful looks.

Sirius was laughing while Remus was cringing in sympathy and Frank was watching in horror. James, though, looked sheepishly at Lily with a it-wasn't-my-idea kind of shrug.

Hearing all the clambering, Slughorn turned from where he was putting notes on the board and said, "Oh! Miss Granger, Miss Evans, aren't you both enthusiastic!"

He obviously mistook their panicked flailing for excitement.

"Professor, we aren't -"

"Oh ho ho," Slughorn chortled with a smile. "Don't be so modest. I know that in my youth I was overly energetic about the subject myself, obviously! Why, I remember -"

"Professor, what Evans is trying to say," Hermione said, her voice getting high-pitched as her elbow became stuck with a few beetles and Lily got stuck to the cauldron. "Is that... we're stuck! I mean, sticking to everything!"

Examining the situation closer, Slughorn said at length, "Well, my dears, why ever would you do something like that?"

"It isn't exactly our fault, sir," Lily said, sending a scathing look in Sirius's direction. "We believe _someone_ is pulling a prank on us."

Hermione tried forcefully yanking a bottle off of her and squeaked, "Ow!" It definitely wasn't coming off.

Slughorn said, "Oh. Well. You best both go and see Madame Pomfrey, I suppose. Wouldn't want to get... stuck like that." He chuckled at his own joke and cast a stasis charm over their cauldron. "If you make it back before the end of class, your assignment will be waiting. Go along."

Hermione began moving faster than Lily, the latter of which hissed and pain and Hermione apologized profusely. They began moving in awkward unison, both trying to mimic the others movements now that they were conjoined.

With a discreet flick of his wand, Sirius cast a tripping jinx right as Lily and Hermione passes Severus Snape's desk, sending them flying into the Slytherin's things, knocking the contents of his cauldron all over the boy.

The class broke out in laughter as the two girls and the hooked-nosed Slytherin all were a crumpled, drenched mess on the floor, each sitting up painfully from the fall and push. Severus looked seething and Lily and Hermione's faces were bright red from a mixture of humiliation and fury.

"THAT'S IT!" Hermione bellowed. "SIRIUS BLACK, I AM GOING TO -"

"What?" Sirius asked with a shit-eating grin. "Stick to me?"

"No, we're going to kill you!" Lily shouted.

"And I'll help," Snape snarled.

Hiding his face behind his textbook, Remus was trying to make it clear that he had nothing to do with this. James looked like a deer in headlights - he was torn between high-fiving his mate and curling up in a hole and dying. Lily would never speak to him at this rate.

"Now, now!" Slughorn interceded, putting himself between the three wrathful victims and the Marauders. "I will not tolerate threats in his classroom! Evans, Granger, and Mr. Snape - please show yourselves to the infirmary. Misters Black, Potter, Remus, and Longbottom, you should make your way to the Headmaster's office."

Frank Longbottom was at a loss for words, his eyes the size of planets. He pointed to himself questioningly. "B-but I-I-I -"

"Longbottom didn't have anything to do with it, sir," James said.

"Well, then the rest of you be on your way. And I don't want anymore silliness in my classroom!"

...~oOo~...

Hermione had never been so humiliated in her life, and she had suffered at the hands of ultimate Prince of Slytherin Draco Malfoy. Hermione, Lily, and Severus all sat in the chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk, covered in a solution that smelt like vapor rub and grape because they'd all been splashed with the unfinished bruise salve in Severus's cauldron. According the Madame Pomfrey, those ingredients were potentially toxic and they would each have to be dunked into the anti-toxin. They were all dripping with the foul-smelling stuff, all looking like wet, angry cats.

Standing behind them were the boys. James looked at his toes, hands in his pockets while Remus closed his eyes and waited for it to be over. Sirius, ever the careless one, leaned against a wall and waited, looking bored.

Dumbledore didn't say anything for quite a while until he said, "Why is it that I am not surprised?"

The Marauders all exchanged glances.

"Because they're all twits," Lily hissed, crossing her arm.

"Why don't you tell us exactly what happened, Miss Evans?"

Lily took a deep breath. "We were all in Potions and Hermione and I were just starting our assignment when all of the ingredients and flasks began sticking to Hermione and when I tried to help, they stuck to me as well. And we got stuck to one another. Then we were told to go to the infirmary and on our way out, we must have been hit with a Tripping Jinx by _one of them, _and we ended up falling into Snape's table, knocking him and everything else over."

"Interesting," Dumbledore mused. "Do Mr. Snape, Miss Granger - do you agree with Miss Evans's assessment of what happened in Potions?"

They both nodded.

"How about you three boys?"

"Everything seems right except one thing," Sirius said, standing up from his wall. "None of us cast a Tripping Jinx - they were just clumsy. After all, they were stuck together."

"Don't spew that bollocks, Black! I know you -"

"Miss Evans, please," Dumbledore said calmly.

"She's right though, sir," Hermione joined in. "It was a jinx, I'm sure of it. We were moving along quite well and out of nowhere - we crashed."

James cleared his throat. "In all fairness... Remus and I had nothing to do with it."

Sirius was aghast. "What kind of friend are you?"

"A friend who knows better than to get in trouble for something that you did and that we warned you against," Remus said pointedly. "Why should we be punished when we told you a dozen times to knock it off with all the nonsense!"

Raising one white eyebrow, Dumbledore said, "These sort of things have been happening... often between Mr. Black and Miss Granger?"

They all nodded, except Severus just looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Sirius?" Dumbledore asked, peering over his half-moon glasses at the boy.

Sirius said nothing, only crossed his arms, and leaned on the wall once more.

With a sigh, Dumbledore said, "You are all dismissed, except for Miss Granger and Mr. Black. I wish to speak to both of you alone."

Severus Snape was the first one through the door and gone before anyone else could even move. Lily moped out, still looking murderous, and James and Remus just looked embarrassed.

Once they were all gone, the silence in the room was uncomfortable between the two pupils and the headmaster.

"Tea?" Dumbledore asked when a tray appeared out of thin air on his desk.

"No thank you," Hermione said politely and Sirius just said nothing and moved to sit in a chair.

"Well, I have to say, I am rather disappointed," Dumbledore said simply, pouring himself a cup of steaming liquid. "I expected better from you, Sirius, especially towards a new female student. In the past you've never been so... unkind to a lady.

"Your punishment will be simple, Mr. Black. I see your Muggle Studies grade is unusually low, and only after the first month of term. Normally you are quite clever - and you opted for this class."

Sirius explained, "Well, you see, Peter isn't all that bright and couldn't get into any of the Advanced classes with us - so we all decided to take Muggle Studies with him so that we could all be in at least one class together."

"Be that as it may, I would hope you put your all into it," Dumbledore said, "and you must have your marks up before the end of the first semester. And to make this so, I trust Miss Granger will be able to tutor you, yes?"

All the blood escaped Hermione's face. "Um. Sir, are you sure -"

"No!" Sirius cut in. "Definitely not. I don't want her tutoring me. And what makes her so brilliant at Muggle Studies anyway - she just got here!"

"I think you'll find Hermione's heritage is very compliant with the help you will need," Dumbledore said, giving Hermione look that said, "are you okay with this?" as if she had a choice.

"I'm a muggle-born," Hermione said quickly, not looking at Sirius at all.

Sirius looked like he was about to protest, but Dumbledore held up one hand with finality. "No arguments. Hermione will be tutoring you on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Now, go on. I believe you each have potions to finish."

Hermione could not help but feel that the given punishment will do more damage to her than Sirius Black. And then she realized it was Tuesday and wanted to scream.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. How do you think their first study session will go? 3. Any more guesses as to why Sirius dislikes Hermione so much? (There IS a reason, in case any of you are wondering).

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	7. King of the Catapult

A/N. So I'm trying to get more outside publicity for The Last Marauder, but I'm having a difficult time of it. Does anyone know good ways to promote the story? Like, do any of you guys have twitter or tumblr or facebooks to post links to the story?

A friend of mine has been telling me that I should push the story out from just ff . net and I, frankly have no clue how. Believe it or not, I am COMPLETELY CLUELESS when it comes to technology, internet, all of it. Makes no sense. I don't even have Facebook. I've been told that I live in a cave - but I like my cave. It's cozy here and I never have to pay for data - or whatever the fuck that is.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Seven: King of the Catapult

Thanks to Dumbledore's "punishment" for Sirius - although, she had the suspicion that she was the one really being punished - Hermione had to take a rain check on Lily showing her around the Restricted Section. She hated the delay on her research and hated the fact that it was all because of Sirius even more.

They'd corresponded through notes about meeting times and places for their tutoring sessions.

_Girl, _

_So when will the torture commence and where?_

_Seriously Not Looking Forward To This,_

_Sirius_

_Mr. Black, _

_I am unsure of what "torture" you are referring to, especially since the one in pain will be me. But if you mean our studying session, I am free anytime after supper and the library seems like a reasonable place for such things. I trust you are familiar with the library considering you've done nothing but follow me there these past few weeks. _

_-Hermione_

_Swot, _

_I do not know what you mean about this "following" nonsense you accuse me of. Perhaps it was an equally handsome and clever ghost you believe followed you. Because I wouldn't waste my time doing something so weird, especially on you._

_With A Muggle Handgun Pressed To My Forehead, _

_The Fantastically Doomed Sirius_

_Mr. Black,_

_Ghosts don't make obnoxious footfalls or peek through book shelves in a creepy manner. And they certainly don't swear as much as you. But we have strayed from the matter at hand. What time do you want to meet in the library? _

_Stop Throwing These Notes At Me, I'm Trying To Pay Attention To McGonagall, _

_Hermione_

_Frizzy Hair & Bad Teeth, _

_The ridiculous sign-offs are my thing and I'd thank you not to use them, especially when you do such a bad job of it. And as for our little meet-up where you will no doubt force-feed me buckets of information about Muggles that I will never use (seeing as I'm a, you know, WIZARD and all), I think seven will suffice. _

_My Sign-Offs Kick Your Sign-Offs Arses,_

_The Incredible Mr. Black_

_S.B. -_

_Just because we are now in Binn's class does not mean you can continue catapulting these notes at me. SOME of us are trying to take REAL notes and things instead of harassing girls with "frizzy hair and bad teeth" as you so politely pointed out. Further, seven sounds good enough. So, library then?_

_Your Sign-Offs Are Childish And Unbecoming, _

_Hermione_

_Granger, _

_I will continue catapulting whatever I want at you for as long as I wish. For I am the King of Catapults and I will lob everything from notes to dungbombs at you. And I don't like the library... let's meet somewhere else. Like a classroom or whatever. _

_Hah! Childish And Unbecoming My Arse, _

_The King of Catapults _

_PS. Even if I WANTED to go in the library (which I never would, not even to follow you, so you must have been seeing a ghost) I am banned. Madame Pince hates me._

_King of Catapults, _

_Why am I not surprised? What could you possibly have done to get banned from the library? Very well. We'll meet in the common room and seven and come up with somewhere then. I refuse to respond to your notes any longer. It is distracting me and the teachers will get upset. _

_Take A Potion And Grow Up Already, _

_Hermione_

_Know-It-All, _

_Does it ever hurt, that stick stuck up your ass? Or does it get numb after a while? I'll see you in the common room at seven. Sharp. If you're late, I'm telling Dumbledore. _

_Better Childish Than A Prude, _

_Sirius Orion Black III_

_Granger, _

_Did my stick-up-ass comment offend you? Good. _

_It's Impolite Not To Answer, _

_Sirius_

_Come On You Prude, _

_Are you ignoring me?_

_Seriously Answer Me - I'm Bored Out Of My Mind, _

_Sirius_

_Granger, _

_You asked for it. _

_Remember - I Warned You, _

_Sirius Black_

_..._

The next thing to hit Hermione was not a note. It was a tiny paper-wrapped parcel. When Hermione picked it up, it began to hum in her hands. Realizing that was a stupid move, she dropped it back to her desk, but didn't back up in time.

The parcel exploded. It was a small explosion, but still an explosion.

Sirius had kept his dungbomb promise.

Alice, who sat next to Hermione, began coughing and gagging on the greenish fumes and Hermione's face was covered in soot that smelt like vomit. Bile began to rise in her throat, but she had just enough time to say:

"Professor, may I use the lavatories?"

Binn's expression was a little shellshocked after the unexpected explosion that interrupted his lecture and he nodded automatically. Hermione sprinted out of the classroom and made it just in time to the nearest bathroom to throw up.

She returned to the class and spent the entire time smelling like skunk before she used her free period to shower four times in a row. All the while, she internally cursed his name and was forcing herself not to freak out.

Which was hard.

Oh, so, VERY hard.

Dumbledore had made it clear not to do anything that would stick out in the memories of anyone she knew in the future. Which was why she was trying very hard to ignore him and stay away from him as much as possible - which also begged the question of why Dumbledore was forcing the two of them together with these ridiculous study sessions in the first place? And how long were they going to last? Surely one would remember if one spent an entire year studying two times a week with someone they couldn't stand.

She'd tried making an appointment with Dumbledore, but apparently he wasn't at Hogwarts for a little while due to some kind of business outside. McGonagall was very vague about it and that made Hermione even more curious, but was trying so hard to get back to her own time that she didn't have any time to investigate Dumbledore's disappearance any further.

Once she was done scrubbing off twenty layers of skin in the shower, Hermione continued on with the rest of her day, trying to forget that at seven o' clock she'd have to deal with Sirius Black.

...~oOo~...

Hermione and Sirius ended up in an abandoned classroom for their tutoring session. They lit a few torches and Hermione sat on the floor cross-legged in front of a window rather than take a desk and Sirius reluctantly followed. Some things weren't worth arguing over.

"So, Muggle Studies," Hermione said, trying to sound professional and professor-like. "What do you know about Muggles?"

"What's there to know?" Sirius said with a shrug. "I mean, they don't have magic. Their money is paper. The only thing semi-interesting about them is their transportation."

"You mean, like cars?"

"I prefer motorbikes."

Of course he did. "What do you know about motorbikes?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You don't seem like a very good tutor considering you're the one asking all of the questions."

She sighed exhaustedly. This was going to be a long night. "I'm trying to get a lay-out of what you already know so I can increase your knowledge on what already interests you in the hope to get you more involved in the class."

Playing along, Sirius said, "Motorbikes run on fuel. Oil."

Hermione nodded, thanking the heavens that he wasn't giving too much of a fuss so far, but was bracing herself for something bad just in case. "Do you know what else does?"

"Cars. Those airplanes. Though, I don't get planes much," Sirius said, leaning back and propping himself up on his elbows, legs stretched out in front of him. "It seems a bit stupid to willingly board a huge metal contraption that has to be so heavy it could fall out of the sky at any given moment. But Muggles are crazy."

Hermione says simply, "I've been on a plane and I quite liked it."

Sirius snorted. "I bet you haven't."

Slightly affronted, Hermione said, "Not all of us are purebloods, you know. I have been on a plane. I went to France. I, er, mean, I went _from_ France to England."

Sirius didn't seem to notice her stumble. He shrugged. "Big deal. Couldn't you just have Apparated or Portkey'd or Floo'd?"

"My parents are Muggles, remember?" Hermione said shortly. "Anyway, it was fun. They go up higher than a broom can, and when you're in the cloud, massive lakes and huge buildings look extremely tiny."

"Hmm. Weird." Sirius went on, "Anyway, I've got an essay."

"What on?"

"Why Muggles need electricity," Sirius said. He snorted. "It's pretty straight-forward. They need electricity because they don't have magic."

Hermione shook her head. "No, no. It's much more complicated than that. Open your book to chapter four and we'll start there..."

...

"NO. NO, I REFUSE TO BELIEVE SUCH RIDICULOUSNESS."

"Black, it's not a matter of whether or not you believe it -"

"NO, NO, NO. YOU'RE LYING."

Huffing, Hermione rolled her eyes and hissed, "Will you quit yelling for goodness -"

"HOW CAN I STOP YELLING WHEN YOU'VE JUST TOLD ME THAT JOHN LENNON IS A MUGGLE."

"Honestly, this shouldn't be such a shock," Hermione said. "It's common knowledge, even to the wizarding world. Don't you think he would have attended Hogwarts if he wasn't?"

"THIS IS WORSE THAN WHEN YOU TOLD ME A MUGGLE INVENTED RADIO."

"You're giving me a migraine, Sirius Black, please stop screaming," Hermione groaned.

Sirius fell flat onto his back, splayed out like a starfish and staring at the ceiling like the world no longer made sense. "I feel like I'm about to die."

"So do I," Hermione muttered, rubbing her forehead. Then she looked at the time and almost collapsed with relief. "Oh thank Merlin, it's nearly curfew. Looks like our time here is up. You've gotten plenty of your essay written, you learned a bit about transportation and quite a bit about Muggle music. Congratulations, you're not a lost cause." She began stacking her things quickly to just get out of hearing range of Sirius's breakdown.

But before she could run, Sirius said, "What time tomorrow, then?"

Hermione blinked. "Sirius. Tomorrow is Wednesday. We don't meet until Thursday."

"Oh," Sirius said, shaking his head a little. "Right. What time on Thursday then? Better yet, I'll write you a note."

"I'd really rather you not," Hermione said, walking briskly towards the exit, but Sirius was on her tail.

"Why not? Writing notes was fun, wasn't it?"

"Oh, yes," Hermione said emotionlessly. "Especially the part where a dungbomb exploded in my face. So much fun."

Sirius shrugged remorselessly. "You were the one who didn't answer."

"I told you I wasn't going to respond anymore!"

"And I warned you about the dungbomb," he said. "Sounds like we're even."

Hermione scoffed in shock. "_Even_? Are you joking? This morning, you almost killed me!"

"The toxins in the salve wouldn't have killed you," he said defensively. "Only deformed you. Really, must you be so over-dramatic?"

"Me?" she demanded, eyes wide. "Over-dramatic? You're the one who decided at our very first encounter that you disliked me. You're the one who's been nonstop pranking me. You're the one who's stalked me every day for the past -"

"I already told you - that was a ghost!"

They made it back to Gryffindor Tower by this point and Hermione gave the Fat Lady the password before they both walked through, their bickering continuing.

"And_ I _already told _you_," Hermione countered, "that even if you wanted to pass yourself off as a ghost - you were far too loud and it was about as convincing as when you pretended to be a ghost under that Cloak with your friends."

"See, now you just sound delusional, because I have no clue what Cloak you are speaking of," Sirius said with a perfect mask of innocence. "Seems like you're thinking about me an awful lot to believe that I've been stalking you and pretending to be a ghost. Curious, isn't it?"

"Not curious at all," Hermione said flippantly. "Just stop following me everywhere, Sirius Black, and we'll be fine. Understand?" She turned to the girls' dormitories stairs, but paused and turned back. "And stop trying to kill me as well."

"You wouldn't have died!"

Hermione was shaking her head. "Pranks are only pranks when they're funny and no one gets hurt. But the moment harm is intended or there's maiming, it just becomes a murder attempt.

With a sigh, Sirius nodded. "Yes, I'm all to familiar with that theory."

Then they stared at one another for a strange moment and Hermione said, "Alright... well... yes. Please don't... kill me. And go to bed. And stop stalking me. Goodnight."

...

That night as the Marauders all laid in their beds - Remus and Peter were doing homework, James was coming up with a second plan to get back the map, and Sirius stared at the ceiling - and held few full conversations, mostly just enjoying one another's presence.

"Hey, mates," Sirius said, never removing his eyes from the ceiling.

"Yeah?" the all asked, none of them in unison. James only grumbled something.

"Did you know that John Lennon is a Muggle?" Sirius said.

"Sirius," James sighed, looking up from his parchment, "_everyone_ knows John Lennon is a Muggle."

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What's going to happen Thursday, you think? 3. Where's Dumbledore? 4. What musicians or historical figures would you believe to be wizards rather than Muggles? 5. What other mind-blowing Muggle facts might amuse Sirius?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	8. A Reason Revealed

A/N. My feet are killing me. You know that whole thing about pregnant women and sore feet? It's real. My FOMB won't even rub my feet *sad face*.

In this chapter I've separated the notes between Hermione and Sirius because I didn't like how ff . net ended up auto-formatting them in the last chapter. Too squished together.

This chapter is a little short, but I got out what I wanted.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Eight: A Reason Revealed

_Bad Hair,_

_I know we don't have to meet until tomorrow, but I need help with that blasted essay. When are you free?_

_In Danger Of Failing Muggle Studies,_

_S.B._

_..._

_Sirius Black, _

_Last week, you demanded we meet EVERY day because of that essay. Surely you can finish it alone. It is due tomorrow, if memory serves, and how much more could there possibly be added to it? Besides, I need a day to do my own studying instead of yours. _

_I Have A Name You Know,_

_Hermione_

_..._

_BAD HAIR,_

_Oh, please, as if you haven't already covered the entire syllabus in your studying. I swear, you're a hermit. It's borderline pathetic. _

_And YES it is due tomorrow WHICH IS WHY I NEED YOU TO EDIT IT, OF COURSE. Anyway, I still don't understand one thing - MICROWAVES. Come on. They have stoves. They have fireplaces. Why do they need yet another device to warm food? It makes no sense, they have no purpose. _

_As Far As I'm Concerned Your Name IS Bad Hair, _

_The Amazing Sirius Black (With Amazing Hair)_

_..._

_S.B. -_

_Frankly, I do not find anything incredible about your hair. All of the girls in my dorm go on and on about it and how silky and gorgeous it is, but I just don't see it. Perhaps you, in all your narcissism, could explain it to me? _

_I don't want to edit your essay, because then I would be doing everything that a teacher would and correcting it for you when, in the end, you get a perfect score for all of MY hard work. So, no. I do not want to edit your paper. _

_It No Longer Surprises Me That Your Initials Are S.O.B.,_

_Hermione_

_..._

_That Sign-Off Was Clever, I'll Admit, _

_Okay, maybe not EDIT it, but maybe you could just look it over and point out major grammatical errors? I would ask Remus, but he isn't feeling so well and if I asked him, he'd probably rip my face off. He's nasty when he's sick. _

_I Will Not Say The "P" Word Before You Ask, _

_S.O.B. _

...~oOo~...

Hermione was thankful when she and Sirius went to separate classes after that note-exchanging nonsense. She'd only been tutoring him for about two weeks and he was already driving her crazy. She wondered if he did it purely to annoy her - all the extra sessions, all the questions in the middle of class, all the prodding about editing essays. She was thinking maybe he traded stalking for harassing.

But Hermione was tired. Almost every day Sirius had Hermione teaching him about Muggles until curfew. And it would have been worth it if he quitted it with the pranks - which, of course, he hadn't. Far from. If anything, the pranks came more often, but at least he seemed careful not to potentially dismember or disfigure anyone in the process.

It was right before dinner that Hermione made her decision. She marched into the Great Hall where supper was just beginning to be served and she went straight up to where the Marauders sat, laughing and teasing. Remus's head was resting on the table in lieu of a plate and they were levitating kidney beans into his nose.

"Sirius Black," Hermione said without preamble and the kidney bean dropped into Remus's ear instead when they all spun to see her.

Sputtering awake, Remus frantically scratched at his ear and when a bean fell out, he glared at his friends.

Hermione went on, "I will not be spending any time after dinner reading your essay."

Scowling, Sirius said, "Come on -"

"I will, however, read it during dinner," Hermione said, holding out her hand. "Hand it over and I'll have a look and return it to you in the common room."

Brow furrowed, Sirius said, "But -"

"Better yet, Hermione, why don't you sit with us?" Remus said, scooting over a little to make room for her.

"Yes!" James agreed automatically.

"Definitely!" Peter chimed in.

"No," Sirius said, but he'd already been outvoted.

Hermione looked at each of them reluctantly and then glanced down at the spot where she normally sat with Alice and Lily, but neither had arrived yet. Remus gave her an encouraging smile and Hermione begrudgingly sat down.

It felt very weird, sitting right beside the man who would one day be her teacher, especially since he didn't know she knew he was a werewolf and that he was unwell because the full moon was two days away. It was worse because on the opposite side of Remus was none other than the future-infamous Peter Pettigrew.

And right across from her were James Potter, her best friend's father and also his godfather beside James as well.

It all gave her a throbbing pain in her temple.

"So, Hermione, we hear you've been tutoring Sirius," Remus said with something of a sympathetic smile. "How has that been?"

"Glorious," Sirius answered for her. "Hasn't it been, Hermione?"

"I asked her," Remus said, "not you."

Hermione shrugged. "He is a... willing student."

"No need to be nice about it," Remus said. "I know what it's like. I tutored him in History of Magic in our Fourth Year. It was hell."

Hermione chuckled and nodded. "He's... special."

"If you are going to continue to talk to me like I'm not here," Sirius said with a small grimace, "at least read my paper." He thrust parchment into Hermione's hands.

Sirius's handwriting was... elegant, but sharp and heavy-handed. Dark and gothic-like. And it took her forever to read because all the thick lines of ink melded. She'd gotten quite a bit of practice from his note-flinging, but still she wished he'd at least try to write clearer.

Accepting the paper, Hermione set it beside her plate and began to read the opening when Peter said:

"Hermione, what's your favorite candy?"

Blinking, Hermione looked up and said, "Pardon?"

"Candy? What's your favorite?" His beady eyes were on hers intently. Honestly, for a moment Hermione couldn't believe she was looking into the eyes of a traitor. He just looked so... innocent.

Hermione thought for a big before answering, "Sugar Quills, I think."

"Mine is Licorice Wands," Peter answered.

"Peter, is this your random question of the day?" James inquired. He turned to Hermione and explained, "Every day, Peter asks a very strange question for no reason whatsoever. We're not sure whether he realizes it or not, but he does."

Peter's brow furrowed. "I'm asking for a reason!"

"Really?" James asked. "And what is that?"

"What if I want to get her a Christmas gift?"

"Christmas isn't for another three months, Pete."

"A Thanksgiving gift then!"

Hermione was shaking her head. "No, no - you don't need to get me a gift, I -"

"Quiet, you twits," Sirius said. "She's reading my essay. She hasn't gotten time for your silly questions."

"She's your tutor, not your slave, Sirius," Remus said firmly. "Leave her be. We're sorry about how he's been acting, Hermione. He never really learned how to behave."

With a small smile, Hermione said, "I've noticed."

Sirius frowned, his eyes darkening. "And here I thought we were making such progress, love."

Rolling her eyes, Hermione said, "Progress? The only difference in these last few weeks is that you get to torment me even more."

"But I haven't disfigured you."

"Oh, how lucky I am," Hermione said with the definite sting of sarcasm. "Sirius Black hasn't nearly maimed me in two whole weeks. I should just thank the heavens, shouldn't I?"

Peter, Remus, and James all snorted and chuckled under their breath. They knew how infuriating Sirius could be firsthand, so it was refreshing to hear it from someone else as well.

Narrowing his eyes, Sirius said, "I don't have to be nice, you know. I could be a dozen times worse."

With a sigh, Hermione dropped the sarcasm and said, "I know you could. And for that, I suppose, I thank you."

Then, before Sirius could say anything, a voice from directly behind Hermione said, "Are you being held here against your will?"

It was Lily. Hermione turned and smiled at the girl and said, "Not quite. Well, sort of. It's complicated."

"Do you need rescuing?"

Shaking her head, Hermione said, "I'll be back in my usual spot soon."

Lily's eyes raked over each of the boys' faces, lingering on James, before turning in a gust of red hair, green eyes, and was down at the other end of the table before you could say "Head Girl".

Hermione handed the essay back to Sirius and said, "It's fine. You'll get a good grade on it." She turned to the rest and said, "Thank you for allowing me to sit with you. I know this is somewhat of an elitist section of the table and I appreciate the conversation. Have a good evening, Remus, James, Peter."

And she walked away.

Looking down at his parchment, Sirius scowled. "I bet she didn't even read past the opening. And she didn't tell me 'good evening'."

"You have an unhealthy fixation," James said, shaking his head.

"Well if it isn't the pot calling the kettle black!"

James shook his head. "Lily knows how I feel. I know how I feel. You, however, are so deep in denial it's pathetic."

Rubbing his forehead, Sirius said, "I'm not in denial. I just know something isn't right about that girl."

"And how do you know that?" Remus inquired.

With a deep breath, Sirius said, "I'm surprised you haven't noticed, Moony. The night she arrived, when she was sleeping on the couch, I changed into Padfoot to see if I could snoop around her without waking her up. And when I did, I noticed something peculiar about her scent - she wreaked like Grimauld Place. She'd been there, I knew it. And now, there's always that small lingering smell of my old home on her. And I don't know why."

...~oOo~...

Sirius's paper received a ten out of ten. But when Hermione met him at their usual studying spot in the abandoned classroom the day they were due to receive their scores and Sirius was staring at the ceiling mournfully, Hermione was expecting the worst.

"Oh, no," she said, walking over to him. She bit her lip. "How bad was it?"

Lying on his back, hands tucked behind his neck, Sirius didn't look at her when he said, "I got a perfect score."

Jaw dropped, Hermione stood shocked for two beats before smiling and saying, "Congratulations! I'm glad you did well."

Folding his arms over his chest, he said, "I'm not."

Raising an eyebrow, Hermione said, "And why is that?"

"Because I was hoping to do terribly so that Dumbledore would 'pull the plug' on these stupid study sessions," Sirius said bitingly, sitting up and gathering himself off the floor.

Hermione's smile fell into a frown at his tone. "That wasn't the impression you gave me when you sent me notes every day to study when we're only required to twice a week."

"I wanted to look good for Dumbledore," Sirius said, his face cold and detached like his tone. "And I wanted him to think you were the one slacking off while I was being obedient and eager, even. But now I've got a perfect score and he's going to prolong this hell."

There was a crease between Hermione's eyebrows when she said, "I'm sorry I didn't realize that sooner, otherwise I wouldn't have agreed to waste my time on you." She hiked her bag of books higher on her shoulder.

Sirius shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Obviously you're not as smart as you thought."

Shaking her head, Hermione said, "Well, better late than never. I won't be tutoring you any longer. After all, you're only hurting yourself. Dumbledore hasn't called an end to your punishment yet, and by ending these sessions you're in breach of your agreement with him. In lieu of tutoring, you'll be getting detention. And I don't very much care." Hermione then gave him one last scowl before turning and walking away.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Do you think Sirius will ever confront Hermione about why she smells like Grimauld? 3. What other kinds of assignments should Sirius have for Muggle Studies?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	9. Flowers & Slugs

A/N. Okay, it has been impossible to sleep lately. My squishy is always dancing in my belly the second I try to lie still. IT DRIVES ME INSANE.

Hey everyone! I have a certain favorite story of mine I'd like to promote! Hehe! As most of you know, I have an epic soft spot for Remus/Sirius fics. I just love them. It's an obsession. And a fellow writer and dear friend, **onebigscribble**, of mine is writing one that I just love called "Some People Have Real Problems" and here is the link:

/s/8543756/1/Some-People-Have-Real-Problems

Also, reader **Way Worse Than Scottish** is the one who suggested what movie is going to be watched in this chapter. Thank you for the inspiration!

ENJOY!

...~oOo~...

Chapter Nine: Flowers & Slugs

It was around noon a week later that Hermione found a paper-folded louts on her desk in Transfiguration. Hermione could see the thick, dark handwriting on the petals and knew immediately who it was from. But she knew better than to open it - doing so would just be asking for it to literally explode in her face.

Sirius Black enjoyed planting explosives. One could never be too careful.

Hermione did not touch the paper flower either. She carefully picked it up with two quills, using them like chopsticks and carrying it to the trash. Once she dropped it in, she hastily jumped back, expecting a big KABOOM. There was none. Shocked, Hermione arched her neck over the wastebasket and found the flower still intact. Hmm, she thought. But didn't dwell on it and went back to her seat.

From across the room, Sirius was sending her pointed looks; looks that said, "What was that for?" and "Why do you understandably not trust me?" She ignored the looks and then waited for the lesson to begin.

Each desk had a simple brass bowl on it. The assignment was to transfigure it into a small statue of our choosing. It was a type of transfiguration that had more to do with manipulating a certain material. Like brass.

McGonagall strolled up and down the rows, eyeing each persons bowl becoming different statue and figurines.

James made his look like Lily - something that Lily did not appreciate. She rolled her eyes, flicked her hair, and went back to her own swan statue. She then made it become a doe. Hermione smirked and turned hers into an otter.

Sirius first manipulated his into McGonagall's angry face, earning a laugh from all of his mates and a scowl from McGonagall - and expression identical to that of the statue. Then, to everyone's surprise, he transformed it into a pretty, glistening brass rose.

While McGonagall's back was to Sirius, he levitated it over to Hermione's desk. Frowning, Hermione slowly picked it up and saw that in the stem, there were words engraved:

_THE CLASSROOM. 7 O'CLOCK. TONIGHT._

Lily looked at the rose and said, "So are you going to meet him?"

"Of course not," Hermione said, putting the flower down. "He's probably luring me there so that I'll open the class door and then a bucket of slugs will fall on my head."

With a small grin, Lily said, "It's almost sad. It's like you're in his head."

"That's the last place I want to be," Hermione said, shaking her head. When hermione levitated the rose to return it to Sirius, the petals twitched and curled and spurted ink right into Hermione's face.

There was a tense silence before the whole class started laughing hysterically.

McGonagall's eyebrows disappeared into her hairline and she said, "Miss Granger! What -?" Apparently she hadn't seen what happened when she was looking at another student's handiwork.

"My... quill... exploded, Professor," Hermione lied through a quivering lip. She was clenching her teeth, trying to look clam or even angry, but really her throat was thickening and her eyes were burning and it was that same humiliating sensation that drove her to cry all day in the girls' bathroom in First Year when Ron was saying all those mean things about her to his friends.

Only this was possibly worse, because she knew that Sirius was getting to her even at seventeen years old.

"Perhaps you should take a trip to the lavatories, then, Miss Granger?" McGonagall said pointedly, peering through her spectacles intently.

Slowly, Hermione nodded, grateful to get away.

"Miss Evans, would you mind accompanying your friend?"

"Of course, Professor," Lily said readily, her voice terse with barely restrained frustration.

In the girls' room, Lily and Hermione scrubbed at her face the Muggle way. It would delay their return to class and prolong their conversation.

"This is getting ridiculous," Hermione growled thickly. "I... bloody... ugh! I want to hex him!"

"You should," Lily said firmly. "And anything you do, I will cover up for you. If the professors ask questions, I'll be your alibi!"

Chuckling, Hermione said, "Thanks, Lily. But I don't think hexing him will do anything, only possibly make it worse. Because then it becomes war."

"You're probably right," Lily sighed. "I've only ever seen Sirius bully one other person this incessantly - and that's Severus Snape."

"Oh, joy," Hermione said dryly. "I am targeted as much as Sirius Black's arch nemesis. This doesn't bode well, does it?"

With a sympathetic look, Lily shook her head. "I'm sorry..."

"It's alright." Hermione paused and looked in the mirror. Her face still had a greyish hue to it from the ink and her frown deepened. "But maybe... maybe a little war is exactly what Sirius needs. I'm not just going to lie down and take this nonsense from him anymore! He is going to experience firsthand what happens when you anger Hermione Granger."

Lily's face broke into a broad smile. "I knew there was a reason I liked you."

...~oOo~...

Hermione made sure to be in the classroom a half hour earlier that Sirius asked. Once seven o'clock rolled around, Hermione waited somewhat impatiently. The seven minutes felt like hours before she heard footsteps from the hall. Heavy ones. The long stride of a solid male boy.

And once the door opened, Hermione bit her lip and couldn't watch, so she closed her eyes.

A bucket of slugs tumbled from over the door and dumped right onto Sirius Black's head.

There was a big flash from one of the shadows and three female laughs all filled the classroom while Sirius sputtered, staring down at his goo-covered self in disgust and fury.

"WHAT?" he bellowed.

Hermione was covering her mouth a laughing so hard she could barely breathe. Lily and Alice emerged from the dark corners of the room and joined her, Alice clutching a bulky wizards' camera against her stomach while she chortled.

"Are... you... bloody... KIDDING ME?" Sirius roared.

"How does it feel, Sirius?" Hermione asked, crossing her arms. "Being humiliated? And to think, it's only the four of us."

"Imagine if it'd been in front of an entire class?" Lily finished for her, beaming. "You wouldn't be the suave, cool Sirius Black anymore, would you?"

Alice just kept giggling.

"I'm not humiliated," Sirius growled. "I'm fucking pissed."

"I, personally, cannot wait for the film to be developed," Lily said, grinning. "It will be the best photo of all time. Seeing Sirius Black have a taste of his own medicine. Come along, Alice, let's go get that photo developed as quickly as possible!"

"Come on, Hermione," Alice said, laughing as she and Lily happily exited the room.

Hermione lagged behind though, waiting until they left the room to walk right up to Sirius and shove a towel to his chest. "I didn't want to stoop to your level," Hermione told him. His hair was crawling with slugs and slime covered his chiseled face. "It's immature and wrong. But you left me no choice. Now can we please end this?"

Sirius's smoky eyes were dulled to a slat grey as he glared and leaned close to her until their noses were a mere inches apart. He spoke slowly and precisely through his teeth when he answered, "How can we end this... when I've only just gotten started, love?" His lips curled into a feral grin. "It's _on_, Bad Hair."

And so the great Gryffindor War of 1972 commenced. It was, ultimately, between the Marauders and the Lionesses, Hermione, Lily, and Alice. Seeing as Remus remained almost determinedly out of the mess, it was a fair three on three while Remus took up as a sort of referee.

The Marauders realized quickly that the girls did, indeed, have an advantage. Knowledge of Muggle pranks, that is. They first noticed this when the girls had very simply stolen their trousers and hung them from the hoops on the Quidditch pitch. Or when stuck a snake in Sirius's trunk. It was a Muggle-like snake, perfectly harmless, but the boys didn't know that.

And when all four of them started screaming and running out of the dorms and into the common room like little girls, the Lionesses were given plenty of high-fives from Sirius and James's ex-girlfriends and some of the girls they tormented.

Hermione, Lily, and Alice were all still giggling when Sirius marched up to them, half-clothed - he'd probably gone in his trunk for pajamas - and with his face bright red. "You have crossed a line!" he'd shouted.

"I haven't crossed any line!" Hermione shot back. "Your little stunt in the Astronomy Tower the other day almost sent me over the edge - literally! I nearly died!"

"And that snake could have poisoned me!" Sirius shrieked. "It would have been a slow, painful death - yours would have been a quick, painless SPLAT!"

"And that makes it better?" she snapped. "Anyway, that snake is harmless! It's only Alice's brother's familiar! It doesn't even bite!"

Alice hopped up and said, "I better go and get Charming back before he goes missing forever - my brother would kill me!" She scurried up to the boys' dorms.

Lily was laughing and grinning evilly at James's ashen face. "Afraid of snakes, Potter?"

"No," James said slowly, sounding dazed. "I just... I think I've just fallen in love with you all over again."

Spinning on his friend harshly, Sirius grabbed James by the collar of his shirt and hissed, "Stay strong, mate. Don't go all gooey on me now!"

"I can't do this anymore," James said, shaking his head fervently, his face brightening with a blush. Sirius was hissing quietly to James, holding him by the scruff of his neck and they exchanged growling whispers.

Peter stood by, looking awkward. He waved to Hermione and she hesitantly waved back. He shrugged and said, "Sorry."

Hermione smirked and said, "It isn't exactly your fault." And she hated saying it to him of all people, but in this instance it was true.

...~oOo~...

Regardless of the Great Gryffindor War going on, Sirius was still being punished with Muggle Studies tutoring. Dumbledore had gone to Hermione himself requesting that she continue tutoring him. She had no clue why it was so important to Dumbledore, but how could she say no to the headmaster?

So it was a few weeks later - after getting away with avoiding the sessions for that long - when Hermione and Sirius reluctantly came together once more in their abandoned classroom after supper.

During class they'd exchanged notes that made it clear how their sessions would go:

_Sirius Black, _

_While I am less than thrilled about continuing our Muggle Studies studying, I hope that we can be adults about this. And by adults, I mean by not planting salamanders in my bras or jinxing my textbooks to explode. _

_Formally Yours,_

_Hermione Granger_

_..._

_Salamander Tits, _

_This coming from the girl who put a bucket of slugs over the door last time. _

_Pyrotechnics Rock,_

_Sirius Black_

_..._

_You Vulgar Prat, _

_It's only fair that our studying sessions be neutral ground since neither of us have any control over it. They're issued by Dumbledore himself, we can't very well fight it any longer, and it will do neither of us any good going into the classroom paranoid. _

_If Anything Catches Fire I Will Set YOU On Fire, _

_Hermione Granger_

_..._

_Oh How Scary, _

_So, like a temporary truce? The classroom can be like our version of Switzerland? (See! I pay attention in Muggle Studies!) _

_Not If I Set You On Fire First, _

_Sirius Black_

_..._

_S.B. -_

_Precisely like Switzerland. And I'm the one who taught you that, not the class. _

_Ugh, _

_Hermione Granger_

_..._

_On this date of October 30th, 1972, Hermione Jean Granger and Sirius Orion Black III declare the confines of the abandoned classroom on the fourth floor next to the portrait of the Siamese twins to be neutral ground. _

_This meaning no hexes, jinxes, curses, inappropriate charms, knicker lizards, slimy serpents, hidden animals or buckets, pranks, or intended harm can be exchanged or initiated within those walls. _

_Only swears, ill-intended and brash words, rude comments, innuendo, and well-deserved and justified smacks are permitted. _

_Any breach of this contract will result in a punishment to be determined by the non-involved Marauders and Lionesses of the noble Gryffindor House, where dwell the brave of heart. _

...

By the end of Potions, their Temporary Treaty of Halloween Eve had both of their signatures at the bottom after being reviewed and approved by Head Boy and Girl. It was now law. Hermione and Sirius expected both of them to obey the Treaty.

And they did.

When Sirius and Hermione entered the room, neither of them had anything set up over the door. Sirius did, however, see a small mountain of something with a big black sheet thrown over it. He didn't think much of it - this was, after all, an abandoned classroom and could be used for storage.

"Alright," Hermione said once they sat on the floor. "I hear your next lessons in Muggle Studies are going to be on Muggle film, correct?"

Sirius said, "Yes, something that's always alluded me. I mean... their films are moving pictures, right? And our normal photos are moving pictures. Really, what's the big difference and why is it a big deal?"

"Well, for starters Muggle films have sound and can record movements over a much longer amount of time than wizarding photos," Hermione explained. "And I've pulled a few strings with Dumbledore to have a special studying session tonight." Hermione stood up and went over to the black mountain that Sirius saw when he walked in and she pulled off the sheet, revealing a stack of very peculiar machinery.

"This," she explained, "is a sort of projector. The film is round, as you can see, and rolls through this device before projecting the images onto the wall. Here is where the sound comes from and here..." Hermione flipped a switch and a large, rectangular light appeared on the wall, "is where we will see the movie."

Raising an eyebrow, intrigued, Sirius stood up and walked over to get a better look at it. "Interesting. What sort of film is it?"

"Historical fiction," Hermione reported. "Also a little something to brush you up on a little Muggle history, as well as one of the biggest tragedies Muggles have seen... the infamous maiden voyage of the _Titanic_."

Hermione didn't know why she expected a reaction, because she didn't get one. Sirius simply blinked and the inquired, "I'm sorry, the what?"

"The _Titanic_," Hermione said with a sigh. First she had to do all of this research on film things from twenty years before, then had to come to the bleak realization that the movie version of the _Titanic_ which had been newly released in her own time and that she loved was not yet in existence, and now she had to go through the whole story with him.

"The R.M.S. Titanic, a cruise liner, was ironically nicknamed the Unsinkable Ship before setting out on its maiden voyage from England to America in April of 1912," Hermione said as she fiddled with the film instrument to get it ready. "On the 14th of April, very near to the end of its journey, it hit an iceberg and sunk, thus killing 1522 people, with only 713 surviving. Had there not been a last-minute change of the number of lifeboats - for vanity reasons, the ship looked prettier when it had less - then more would have lived, possibly all of the passengers, crew, and all of the band."

"Wow," Sirius said, not with any hint of malice or sarcasm. "That... blows."

With a wry smirk, Hermione said, "Indeed. This movie we are going to watch was released in 1953. It is actually a romance about a couple who take the cruise with their two children to try and fix their marriage. But a lot of the events are true, as well as some of the people, whom I will point out as it goes on. And, also..." Hermione reached into her bag and pulled out a bag. "I brought popcorn."

Once the projector was aimed at the old blackboard, they each took a seat in the front row beside one another, the popcorn between them.

Before it started, Sirius said, "Why are you being nice?"

"The Treaty, remember?"

"No, I mean... you have this whole film set-up for me to make learning about Muggles actually interesting, and I'm curious about why you're going through the trouble."

With a sigh, Hermione said, "It isn't for you. It's for me. I guess you can say... I miss home."

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. How do you think Sirius is going to like the movie? 3. Any special Muggle customs you can think of that Sirius would like? 4. What are some of your favorite Muggle pranks?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	10. Stuck

A/N. Do any of you hate your parents sometimes? I mean, like REALLY just want to scream at them? Well, you're certainly not alone. And if you're young and living with your parents and agreeing, well, here's some fair warning - even when you're moved out and doing well for yourself, it doesn't get better. That is a solid promise. I once asked my father how the printer worked and he started screaming at me. Ahh, family.

Okay, now that I got that out of my system, here's the next chapter :)

...~oOo~...

Chapter Ten: Stuck

Somewhere in the middle of the movie, Hermione saw Sirius's eyes glaze over it wasn't long after that he slowly tipped to the side and collided into Hermione's shoulder, completely asleep. He sat there, completely out, cheek pressed into her arm and snoring lightly.

Hermione had to admit, she wasn't paying much attention to the film either. It was a great deal more boring than the version from her own time period. Leonardo DiCaprio made a two-hour long movie scintillating while Clifton Webb made a 98-minute ordeal boring.

So she allowed her mind to wander. She thought about home, mostly. Her parents. In the timeline she was currently stuck in, they were only just married and starting their own dentistry practice. But in her own time, she'd just wiped herself from their minds and they were living as Wendell and Monica Wilkins in Australia. It made Hermione said - in neither timelines did they know her. It made her fell... alone. Orphaned, almost.

And she missed Ron and Harry. Mostly Ron, if she was being honest. Not because she didn't love Harry, she absolutely did, but she'd carried very real feelings for Ron for quite some time and now the potential for it to become something more was... gone.

She was acting like a silly girl, she knew that. How could she possibly be upset about losing the opportunity to have Ron as a boyfriend while she was stuck in what might as well have been another universe. She was so completely lost, even her thoughts weren't making much sense anymore. Every second of her day was spent stuffing down the panic that was threatening to burst from her pores.

Hermione was jolted from her reverie when she heard the Titanic start to sink, and Sirius started from his sleep as well and, very suave and not even acknowledging that he'd fallen asleep on her, resumed his attention on the movie.

By the end, Sirius was simpering.

"So stupid!" he exclaimed as the credits started. "They made such a big deal about that bloke giving up his seat in the lifeboat for that boy, when really any half-decent person would have done the same exact thing!"

"You'd be surprised how many people wouldn't," Hermione said as she went to the projector to turn it off. The room went completely dark except for the stream of silver moonlight through the window. Otherwise, Sirius was just a shadow in the room.

"Anyone who isn't a Slytherin would," Sirius groused.

"So you would have?"

"Of course!" Sirius declared, standing straight up out of the desk. "Especially for a woman or child. Not for Snivellus, though."

Hermione's eyebrows shot to her hairline.

Sirius amended reluctantly, "Oh, fine. Sure. I would give up my seat in the lifeboat for Snape. Happy? I would die for that scum. Does that improve your opinion of me any?"

"If you had to choose one person in the school," Hermione said, smiling lightly, "to give your seat to if we were all sinking - there's the same amount of lifeboats as in the movie, about half of them are already filled - who would you give it to?"

"Simple," Sirius said. "McGonagall. I'm madly in love with her."

Snorting, Hermione said, "I'm serious!"

To her surprise, he didn't make a pun about his name and instead fell into a thoughtful silence. He mused, "Well, James, Remus, and Pete are my best friends, but... they could take care of themselves. And if I offered, they probably wouldn't accept. Except possibly Peter, but he's a scared little fellow. And Lily Evans would punch me, not to mention she was likely already coerced into taking James's seat, so... probably you."

Shell-shocked, Hermione said at length, "Me? Why me?"

He shrugged. "Because, you're the only person in this school I bother with."

"Even if you hate me?"

There was a pause before Sirius said, "Not hate. Not anymore."

And Hermione hadn't a clue what to say in return, so she said nothing.

...~oOo~...

That night, the Marauders all slummed around their dormitory. James was spending yet another night with them, something about his not trusting entering the Heads' rooms ever since the start of the prank war. And who could blame him? Lily was downright vindictive when she wanted to be.

Sirius had just finished explaining the entire ending of The Titanic to his friends. Peter was enthralled. Remus was intrigued, but doing his homework at the same time. James was bored.

And Sirius went on, "... but wasn't that cool? The machinery was pretty cool, too. The Projecterator was interesting, you'll have to ask her to show you sometime.

"Anyway, lately I've been thinking, maybe I was wrong about her scent," Sirius said casually, rolling onto his stomach. "That or there's a thousand perfectly acceptable reasons why she would smell like my parents' house. Anyway, she's a muggle-born, so it is highly improbable she's been anywhere near my house, much more in it -"

"Does anyone want to address the Hippogriff in the room?" James asked, looking back and forth between Remus and Peter. "Or shall I?"

"Go right on ahead," Remus said, turning the page of his textbook.

Peter was looking around the room, curious about why Remus and James saw the Hippogriff and not him.

Sirius's brow furrowed. "Whattaya mean?"

"The _proverbial _Hippogriff," James stressed for Peter's sake, "is that every night for a week you've walked into this room, declared how much you hate Hermione before talking about her for hours. And you still won't say her name. It's sort of... worrying, actually. It's like your obsessed but I can't tell if it's a positive or negative obsession."

Remus looked up from his book. "There is no such thing as a positive obsession, James, no matter how much you've told yourself that it's okay how insane you've been about Lily. The point is, Sirius, you're barking. Barking mad, that is. You literally can't decide whether you despise Hermione or are desperately in love with her. And now you're making excuses to yourself about why she smelt like Grimauld Place so that you can put that nagging thought to rest every time you're around her."

"I'm not making excuses," Sirius said defensively. "I'm making logical points. Also, it hasn't been hours - and I'm not talking about _her_, I'm talking about the fim. And I_ can_ say her name. And I most certainly am _not _in love with you, you idiot," he spat.

"Oh, really?" James demanded. "Than why is it that snogged a different girl every day up until very recently?"

"That's true, you know," Peter joined in. "Even I've noticed. You've barely talked to a girl other than Hermione in weeks."

"I've been preoccupied with the war, remember?" Sirius snapped. "Anyway, it wouldn't be right. Peter fancies her, doesn't he? It's Marauders' Code. She's off-limits."

A small smirk adorned Peter's face. "You'd really do that for me, Pads?"

"Of course I would, mate!" Sirius said, lying back and tucking his hands behind his head. "I would no sooner snog Hermione than I would Lily. It's just plain common sense when you've got mates like you guys." Then he paused. "Not like I would even thinking about snogging her in the first place."

"Who, 'her'?" James taunted. "Lily or Hermione?"

Sirius glared. "You know who I mean."

Remus smirked. "Maybe we don't. Say her name."

With a sneer, Sirius clenched his teeth and said, "_Hermione_."

"I'm proud of you, mate. You're making real progress."

"Shut up, Moony."

...~oOo~...

It was the middle of November before the Marauders and Lionesses landed themselves in McGonagall's office, all seven of them coated in green glop. No one was really sure what the substance was made of, but it was thick, it stuck to skin and clothing rather stubbornly, but didn't dry - and it smelt terrible. Like onions and black licorice.

McGonagall was also splattered with the stuff, her robes stained, and her spectacles dotted. She sat at her desk, staring like a vengeful hawk at all of the kids, her hands folded tightly in front of her.

"I have tolerated," she said with slow, tight precision, "all of your antics for weeks. I have ignored your little war. I have refrained from deducting points because it seemed to be in good fun and it kept you from making trouble elsewhere. But..._ I. Have. Had. It._ Today you disrupted my entire class and not only made your_selves_ victims in your little schemes, but the entire class as well. My classroom will surely smell for days. These robes are now unacceptable, as well as all of your classmates' uniforms. You've damaged school property. You've disturbed whatever peace was left in this school. And you have destroyed your chances at getting perfect grades in my class.

"In addition to being given zeroes for the day," McGonagall went on, "you are each being given weekend detention. Which means you will not be permitted to visit Hogsmeade, seeing as you'll likely be scrubbing floors and walls for Filch or feeding and grooming many of Hagrids' peculiar pets. And you'll each be writing me an essay on why exploding unidentifiable green goo in my classroom is intolerable and why you will never do so again.

"It goes without saying that your war is over. In all fairness, it seemed to be a stalemate, anyway. Any attempts to further the rivalry will end in punishment much worse than detention, I promise you. Now, all of you out. You smell repulsive."

Without a single word from any of them, the students all shuffled out, their pants and feet sloshing with goop as they went. Once they were completely out of the office, shutting the door behind them...

They all disintegrated into uncontrollable laughter. And none of them had any idea why.

...

They walked in a green mass back to Gryffindor Tower, their steps making squashing and squeaking noises, leaving a snail-like trail of sludge behind them They were almost there when they all stopped at the sound of a girl's voice.

"Sirius! Sirius Black!"

All of them turned to see who it was and Hermione had to stop herself from gasping.

The girl in Ravenclaw colors who'd shouted for Sirius was a long and lean girl with sun-kissed skin and waves of golden blonde locks with tawny eyes. Sure, she was significantly younger, but Hermione would recognize her anywhere. It was Marley.

"Marlene," Sirius said, not sounding very surprised by being stopped by a girl. "Hullo."

"Hey," she said, beaming, revealing her perfect, pearly teeth. "I heard about what happened in McGonagall's today and I wanted to say I thought it was brilliant."

"Thanks," Sirius said, even though the whole thing hadn't exactly been his idea. He earned some very annoyed looks from his mates for taking the credit. He ignored them and put on his best flirtation smile, which shone through and took center stage even when he was covered in slop.

Grinning, Marley - or Marlene, Hermione supposed? - said, "I'd love to hear all about how you did it... maybe in Hogsmeade this Saturday?"

"Sure," Sirius said easily. "I'd love to. I have to run a few errands first, so meet you at the Three Broomsticks at, say... noon?"

"Brilliant," the gorgeous young Ravenclaw said before striding away.

And Hermione was struck by a few things. One, Marlene was nothing like how Hermione remembered Marley - too flirty and too nice to Sirius. Two, Sirius had detention, how was he supposed to go to Hogsmeade?

And finally, three, at Bill and Fleur's wedding Marley had specifically told Hermione that she and Sirius were in the same House at Hogwarts, but this Marlene... was a Ravenclaw.

What was going on?

They were all in the common room when Lily demanded, "How, exactly, are you expecting to get out of detention on Saturday?"

"I have my ways," Sirius said cryptically. "Anyway, how could I have said no?"

"It's simple, really," Hermione said. "After all, I say it to you all the time. You make the sound of an 'n' and then 'oh'."

"You don't get it because you're a girl," Sirius said half-snidely and half-teasingly. "That was Marlene McKinnon. Ravenclaw's fittest babe, and the only one who's face isn't glued in a book twenty-four/seven. Which is more than I can say for you."

Crossing her arm, Hermione said, "Listen, I'm not letting you get out of detention. It isn't fair for all of us to be stuck with Filch while you're off snogging Marlene WhateverHerNameIs."

"I'm with Hermione on this," Peter said readily. "It wouldn't be fair, Sirius."

"Yeah!" Alice exclaimed, crossing her own arms. "You were in the war, too. It's only right you serve detention with us."

Lily nodded. "Anyway, I'd tell McGonagall if you got out of it somehow. And trust me, I would know if you did."

With a mischievous smile, Sirius said, "That's the thing, Evans. You wouldn't know at all." And then he walked up to his room.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What's the deal with Marlene? Is she really Marley or are they just identical? 3. How is Sirius going to get out of detention? 4. If you were on the Titanic, would you keep the seat or give it to someone else, and if so, then who? (And be honest, hehe!)

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	11. Territorial

A/N. If I were on the Titanic, I would give up my seat and it's because I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't. But if I were still pregnant, I would take the seat because I would I feel I owe it to my unborn child to give him a fighting chance - after all, I'm his vessel.

There was a typo in Hermione and Sirius's treaty. It said 1972 - obviously that is wrong. They are currently in 1977. Anywhere else that I made that mistake, I am sorry.

Also in this chapter I am going to do something that I hate myself for. I am going to make an Indiana Jones reference almost four years before its been released. I hope you can forgive me even though I probably won't forgive myself.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. I promise.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Eleven: Territorial

Sirius had, indeed, attended his detention, much to the surprise of all of his friends. Hermione even quizzed him extensively to make sure he hadn't duped them with Polyjuice. But it was Sirius Black and he was as much of a pain-in-the-ass as ever. He pestered Hermione the entire time they unshelled a breed of beetles for Slughorn and then when they scrubbed the bathroom floors for Filch.

James had taken detention as an opportunity to charm Lily, who ignored him the majority of the time. Peter moaned and groaned, but was nice enough to take on the rest of Alice's beetle batch when the underneath of her nails started bleeding. Remus made good conversation and was didn't complain a bit even though he hadn't had anything to do with any of the pranks that went on in the war.

During the detention they discussed who was the real winner of the war - because McGonagall's declaration of it being a stalemate angered both Sirius and Lily. They needed a real winner.

Remus, who'd been an unofficial referee, said as he really went at the titles with his sponge, "McGonagall was right. You all fought valiantly and equally. It was a true stalemate if I'd ever seen one. And that is not counting the green good disaster in McGonagall's room. I don't think that should count."

Everyone nodded in agreement at the assessment of the green goo disaster.

"But who really won?" James demanded. "I refuse to believe we tied!"

Alice nodded. "James is right. The girls obviously won. We were more creative."

"But we were of a higher caliber," Sirius argued. "Our pranks had more BOOM."

"But they were predictable for wizards," Hermione pointed out. "We took classic Muggle pranks and modified them with magic. We were very clever about it."

Nose scrunching, Sirius said, "Typical girly stuff."

"Who are you calling girly?" Hermione shot back. "You're the one who shrieked and ran at the sight of a snake."

"Even Indiana Jones is afraid of snakes!"

"I'm beginning to regret letting you watch that movie," Hermione said, "because now you pretend you're Indiana Jones at every given moment."

"That's because I _am_ Indiana Jones."

"The moment you get one of those ridiculous hats and a bull-whip, I am not tutoring you anymore."

"It's hardly tutoring anymore," James said. "Sirius says all you two do is watch movies."

"Movies about Muggles," Hermione corrected. "Since we can't go into the Muggle world to observe them, the next closest thing is film."

"_Raiders of the Lost Ark_ is hardly non-fictional," Lily said, "and it isn't very accurately Muggle."

With a big sigh, Sirius said, "Dear, sweet Lily Evans. _Must_ you ruin studying for us?"

...

When the Marauders returned to their room on Saturday night after a long day of detention, they all started putting on their pajamas and James only paused when he saw Sirius pick a little card up from his pillow and smiled at it smugly.

"Who's that from?" Peter asked, seeing it also.

"Your wife?" James taunted.

"Who?" Sirius asked.

"Hermione," Remus explained. "You two are as good as married."

With a huff, Sirius said, "Actually it's from Marlene about a... rain check for Hogsmeade."

But that night when Sirius was asleep and James took the card off of Sirius's bedside, it didn't say anything about a rain check. As a matter of fact, it was a cute little note thanking him for such a marvelous day in Hogsmeade, signed with a frilly signature and a lipstick kiss mark.

Somehow, and James didn't know how, Sirius had been in two places at once that day.

...~oOo~...

_Hermione (See, I Can Use Your Name), _

_I've done a little research - I know, I'm as shocked as you are - and I've decided that tonight I want to watch Star Wars. It was just released in May and it seems to be getting quite a bit of hype. It's about spaceships - and I'd very much like to learn what exactly those are. As well as aliens. And what is the precise definition os science fiction? How can it be fiction AND science? _

_How Exactly Do Stars War?,_

_Sirius_

_..._

_S.B. -_

_While your enthusiasm is both perplexing and heart-lightening, we cannot watch Star Wars tonight for two reasons. One: How exactly do you expect me to procure a Muggle film in the next few hours? And two: I've promised Ezequiel Zubko - you know, the Hufflepuff? - that I would tutor him tonight. Anyway, it's Friday and I've told you that I like to do my OWN studying on Fridays... not that that stops you from forcing me into studying with you. _

_It Is Impossible For Me To Detail The Entire Concept Of Star Wars In A Note, _

_H. G. _

_..._

_H.G. -_

_Um... what? I need to talk to you after class. _

_S.B. _

_..._

Once class was dismissed, Hermione took her time gathering her supplies when Sirius popped up beside her like a rabbit. A frustrated rabbit.

"You're tutoring Zubko?"

Hermione nodded. "Yes, Zeke asked me for help -"

"Oh, it's '_Zeke_' now, is it?"

Unable to hold back a chuckle at his suspicious look, Hermione asked, "What do you have against the poor boy, exactly?"

"'Poor boy'?" Sirius demanded, trailing Hermione as she strolled out of the class. "He's hardly a boy, he's a Goliath! He's taller than me, made of muscle, and he's the meanest Beater on the pitch."

"Oh, but he's so sweet," Hermione said. "He truly is quite kind and he was actually very embarrassed that he had to ask for help."

"Fucking Hufflepuffs," Sirius scoffed. "Hermione, if you're looking for a bloke, I promise that even you can do better than -"

"I'm not looking for a 'bloke' as you call it, I'm just tutoring him!" Hermione cut him off, in absolute disbelief of the way Sirius was acting.

"Oh, yeah? In what? Snogging 101?"

"No," Hermione said shortly, losing her patience. "In Muggle Studies, actually. He overheard that you were doing well in the class ever since I started helping you and decided he wanted some assistance as well."

Sirius stopped walking for two beats before striding to catch up with her once more and said, "But... you tutor _me_ in Muggle Studies."

Laughing dryly, Hermione said, "Someone give the man a prize."

"So what am I supposed to do now? Find a new tutor?"

"Of course not," Hermione said. "I'll just have to help Zeke on the days that I'm not helping you."

"But... you help me every night! You won't have time for him!"

"Technically, you and I are only supposed to study on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

Scowling, Sirius said, "So... what? Are you going to watch the same movies with both of us, twice in a row? Are you going to watch the Titanic with him, hmm?"

"What is with you?" Hermione finally shouted, spinning on him and halting. "What are you talking about! Why are you acting like this, like I'm... cheating on you or something?"

"Because you kind of are! Muggle stuff and films are _our_ thing, Hermione!" Sirius snapped back. "_We_ make obscure movie references that James and Alice don't understand. _We_ play Who's A Muggle And Who's Not. And _we_ go to the same blasted classroom every nigh because that's our spot and no one else's."

Hermione wanted to scream. He was acting like a child with a toy. It was all "mine, mine, mine" all the time. "Sirius Black, you are acting like a dog marking its territory and I don't like it! You don't own the films, you don't own that classroom, and _you don't own me_!" Hermione then twisted around so fast it was a blue and began striding angrily away.

Shouting after her, Sirius yelled, "I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT GIVING YOU MY SEAT IN THE LIFE BOAT!"

"GO AHEAD!" Hermione screamed back, continuing to march away. "YOU CAN GIVE IT TO MARLENE MCKINNON."

"I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BECAUSE HER BREASTS WOULD ACT AS FLOTATION DEVICES."

"I HOPE YOU SUFFOCATE BETWEEN THEM, YOU PERVERT!"

...~oOo~...

"So... why are we back to stalking Hermione?" Peter asked as he followed Sirius into the library in the same covert way they used to, getting past Madame Pince slyly.

Sirius sighed. "Why does everyone still call it stalking?" he asked no one in particular. "She and I are friends now... or sort of, anyway. And when you're sort-of friends, it isn't stalking. It's protecting."

With a big sigh, Peter said, "You're starting to run out of excuses, you know. Even I can see that."

"You're not a very good partner right now," Sirius hissed, poking his head around the sides of book shelves to see if she was there. "Now, where could she be? She isn't in her usual study spot," he noted, looking at the empty desk. Then his eyes narrowed. "She's doing this on purpose. She's not in usual spaces because she knew I'd look for her. Sneaky minx."

"That seems a bit... Slytherin for her, doesn't it?" Peter said, sounding unsure.

"Trust me," Sirius said, jaw taut. "She's more snake that lion sometimes. It's almost frightening. And I don't like snakes. This is where the Staff of Ra might come in handy."

"The what?" Peter said, bemused.

Sirius sighed. "I kind of wish you were Hermione right now."

"But then we wouldn't be looking for her, now would we?"

"Fair point," Sirius said dismissively. "Now hush. We've got to find her."

Sirius instructed Peter to stay low and follow his every move. He scoped row by row of books, earning some very strange looks from students trying to study.

They were all the way in the back of the library when he heard Hermione's laugh.

Sirius felt everything go cold when he realize exactly how far back in the stacks she was and with that monolith Zubko. Merlin only knew how many times he himself had... back there... with girls...

If there was one thing Sirius knew for certain about Hermione it was that she was as virgin and virgins got. And he could only imagine how impressionable she was and how suave and convincing that Spaniard Zubko could be. He had that dark and handsome latin thing going for him and Sirius did not want his sort-of friend and what James called his future wife to be blinded by the romance of a Spanish accent and the shadows the bookshelves had to offer.

On impulse, Sirius sprinted right up to the row they were in and declared, "Zubko, you've got a lot of nerve -"

And then he cut off when he saw that Zeke and Hermione were sitting on the floor, a few feet away from each other, laughing with textbooks in front of them. They both stopped laughing and turned to their visitor in confusion.

There was quite a bit of awkward silence before Hermione sighed and said to Zeke, "There is just no hiding from him, is there?"

With a smirk, Zeke shrugged before he asked Sirius, "What's wrong, amigo?"

Sneering, Sirius said, "I'm not your ami-... ami-... howeveryoupronouncethatword. And nothing is wrong except how far back you two are in the stacks."

"I was trying to hide from you," Hermione said again. "I knew you were going to go mad and -"

"Me mad? You're the crazy one! Back here with a strange boy!"

"The only strange boy back here right now is you, Sirius," Hermione said, sounding exhausted.

"You don't even know him!" Sirius insisted.

Looking awkward, Zeke said, "Maybe I should go?"

"No way, you sit right back down, Mr. The Rain In Spain," Sirius commanded and to Hermione shock Zeke complied, probably out of shock. "I'm not done with you."

"Listen, I did not mean to break you from your girlfriend -"

Hermione cut in, "I'm not his -"

Sirius added, "Not in a millions years would I put my tongue in that obnoxious, know-it-all mouth -"

She continued, " - he's obviously unstable -"

"- and look at that hair, if you can even call it that -"

"- ego the size of Russia and a weird nose -"

"- she says my nose is weird when the correct adjective is 'flawless' - "

"- thinks he's a Muggle action hero -"

"Alright, alright, I get it!" Zeke said, laughing and standing off the floor. "But obviously you two have some stuff you need to work out. Come on, Pettigrew, let's leave these two alone."

Peter, who'd been peeking through the books, gratefully followed Zeke out. Hermione and Sirius were silent until the footfalls were gone.

Shaking her head, Hermione said, "I can't believe you..."

"I can't believe _you_," Sirius shot back.

But before he could continue, Hermione held up a hand and said, "Did it ever occur to you that I may have actually liked him? Just, hypothetically."

Well, of course Sirius had. It's what worried him the most. "You can't fancy him, he's -"

"Sirius, in my... last school," Hermione said, "there was a boy I liked a lot. A lot. And now I won't ever see him again. If I'm going to... get over him, I'm going to have to start liking other boys. And you_ can't just barge in when I do_!"

"I wouldn't have to barge in if you had a half decent taste in men!"

"He was nice, Sirius!" Hermione said, shooting up from her spot on the ground. "And funny and kind and smart! And good-looking, too! He was a gentleman and the first time we met, _he didn't call me ugly_! So tell me, Sirius, if I'm not to like him, who am I to like? _You_?"

"I would certainly be a step up," Sirius half-growled.

"_You'd be a step down_!" Hermione shouted, not even caring she was in the library anymore. But behind the anger was a soft choke in her voice like her throat was thick. "And why would I waste my time on you when you're so _involved_ with Marlene? The reminder to not fall for your stupid charm is pretty clear whenever I see you snogging each other's faces of - which is often! It's almost like you put yourselves in the path of my daily routine - it's maddening!" By then the tears were running and her voice was getting shakier by the word. "You have no claim on me, you don't choose who I spend my time with, and you especially don't get to make me miserable when you're happy!"

There was a long stretch of silence.

"Miserable?" Sirius asked, quietly but trembling with anger. "I thought you were having a pretty good fucking time here. You have Lily and Alice and the best grades in the school. You're not miserable, Hermione. And I most certainly am not happy."

Hermione let out a sob and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. "I want to go home," she whispered.

"Then go home," Sirius said with steely calm. "I wouldn't miss you. No one would. And you'd have your special little French boyfriend again. Forget about m-... us."

"You don't get it," Hermione hissed, stepping close and looking him straight in the eyes, their chests onto inches apart. "I don't want to only go home. I want to go back in time. To before I met you. Because ever since I got here, you've done nothing but make sure I feel worth about as much as the dust between these books. You're a bully, Sirius Black. And I _hate_ you."

Without warning, Sririus grabbed Hermione's chin roughly and swooped down to crush his mouth onto his. It wasn't a soft, sweet kiss like she imagined a first kiss with a boy would be, but hard and unforgiving, involving lips and teeth. And it hurt. He could taste the wet saltiness of her tears and the dampness of where she was constantly running her tongue along her bottom lip in that fucking infuriating way of hers.

Wrenching away, Sirius yanked back his hand and he didn't look at all like a boy who just kissed a girl, and instead like an wrathful angel. He dragged his hand across his mouth like he hated the remnants of their kiss.

He growled, "I hate you too."

And he sprinted away.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Who do YOU think won the prank war? 3. Any more guesses about how Sirius was in Hogsmeade and detention at the same time? 4. What do you think will happen next?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	12. Square One

A/N. I am overjoyed that many of you liked the last chapter! I feel bad for Hermione and Sirius :( Poor, stupid teenagers, hehe!

Okay. I need to amend a few typos I made in the third chapter "Shattered". I was half asleep when I wrote it - I realize that's not a very good excuse, but oh well. I said it was the year 1972 (as I did in the Treaty by accident) when it is 1977. Also, she didn't go 26 years back in time - but its really only been 21 years.

I feel stupid now. I saw that and wanted to smack myself. *shame*

In case some of you haven't noticed, I am kind of a HUGE movie buff. You will continue to receive a ridiculously large amount of movie references.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Twelve: Square One

"I rather thought the both of you were getting along," Dumbledore said, "which was why I was negligent to put and end to your tutoring sessions. But, I suppose if things are truly so bad, then Sirius has more than completed his punishment. You'll no long have to tutor him, Hermione. I want to thank you, though. Sirius is doing wonderfully in Muggle Studies. I'll let him know he's done being punished myself. Anything else you want to ask?"

"Yes," Hermione said slowly, leaning forward in the seat across from Dumbledore. "I really, really need to return to my own time. I can't... stay here any longer."

"It saddens me to say this," Dumbledore said gently, "but you won't be returning to your own timeline for another twenty-one years. There is simply no way, magical or otherwise, to send you forward in time."

Every bone in Hermione's body slumped at the news. She buried her face in her hands and took deep, shaky breaths, trying not to cry again. She'd spent the past two hours crying over Sirius Stupid Black and she really didn't have the energy to breakdown again, and especially in front of the Headmaster.

"If it is any consolation," Dumbledore went on, "in my experience with Time-Turners is that... whatever Timeline we are originally from has already felt the effects of our time travel, before it happens for ourselves when realistically it already has. You told me that you had your own experience with Time-Turners before this, yes?"

Hermione thought back to her Third Year and the incident with Buckbeak and Harry's Patronus with the Dementors over Sirius at the lake, and Peter Pettigrew.

That day in Hagrid's Hut, Harry had been chucked in the back of the head with a stone. And she had no clue why... until she'd gone back in time three hours and done it herself.

All of this, her being knocked backwards to the seventies... it'd already happened. Well, obviously, but she'd been there. She just didn't know it, because it'd already happened before it did.

Rubbing her temples, Hermione decided that she hated time travel because it gave her a huge headache.

But it all made sense now. Why the Time-Turner took her to such a specific time and place. Why the owner of said Time-Turner, whoever that might be, set the precautionary charms so precisely because... they remembered her.

"Whatever you know about the history of this timeline," Dumbledore said, "is unchangeable. Even if you attempt to, the future will remain the same. Where you come from has already been molded around your journey here. Now, it is your job, more than anything, to preserve the future."

One more tear rolled down her face. She knew what Dumbledore was saying. No playing the hero. Anyone who died... had to stay that way. It broke her heart when it fully hit her that there was no saving Lily and James.

...~oOo~...

On the third day of December, Lily finally accepted James's begging to go on a date. I think it had a lot to do with the romanticism of the holiday season approaching, the snow on the ground, and of course the fact that it was the first time he didn't make it a huge production.

He'd done it when they were finishing their nightly rounds. He said, "Lily... will you go with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?"

Her answer: "Sure."

And then James had this moment where he wasn't sure whether or not it was reality and asked if he'd just fainted and had a hallucination. But it was true. Lily accepted James's proposal and James was as happy as a clam. Happier than a clam, actually.

He was not letting anyone forget it, either.

"So, you know how Lily and I are going on a date this Saturday?" he'd said for the hundredth time to his mates in the past few days. "Well, I was thinking maybe I should get her flowers. You know, like... oh, oh! Lilies! Wait, no, she'd never let me live that down. Aren't lilies death flowers anyway? Well, I lilies. The girl and the flower, that is. So maybe not flowers, but chocolates or -"

"Oh my God," Remus groaned. "Please, James, will you shut up? You've gone through the flowers versus candy idea a half dozen times in two days! We're all quite tired of your dreamscapes of exactly how you imagine your date with Lily going. We get it, you're excited, and we all were too... up until you could not stop talking about it, that is."

Sirius stayed quiet, stewing, on his own bed, playing with a chain around his neck that disappeared into his shirt. He was obviously lost in thought and didn't care about anything going on around them.

"So, guys, I was thinking," Peter said from his own bed where he sat with his legs folded Indian style. "With James finally getting Lily to go out with him, I feel like this is a lucky week, you know? Like anything could happen. So, like I said, I was thinking maybe now is the perfect time to ask Hermione out! I could ask her to go to Hogsmeade this Saturday, just like you did with Lily, James."

"If I heard the words 'Lily' and 'James' in the same sentence again, I think I may vomit," Remus said flatly, dropping back onto his bed.

"Don't listen to Remus, mate," James said brightly. "You should ask Hermione to Hogsmeade! Sounds great! As a matter of fact... if she says yes, we can have a double date and Lily and Hermione both won't feel awkward or pressured! And I'd have one of my best mates with me! You're right, Pete, anything can happen this week."

"What's got you brooding?" Remus asked when he saw Sirius looked darker than ever. "And why are you here? Shouldn't you be watching some Muggle film with the future Mrs. Pettigrew?"

"Dumbledore ended my punishment," Sirius said quietly. "And good riddance. Took up too much bloody time."

"How long ago did he end it?"

"About a week."

"Where've you been at night, then?"

Sirius wasn't going to confess that he'd been re-watching every film alone in the old classroom. Even to him it seemed pretty pathetic, sitting in a dark room watching some sappy movies about sinking boats and archaeology professors (which were really just non-magical Curse Breakers, he observed).

"Around," Sirius replied vaguely. "Guys, how many hours are in seven days?"

With a furrowed brow, Remus answered, "About 168, I believe, why?"

Shrugging, Sirius said, "No reason. Anyway, Pete, you can do better than her."

All three other boys moaned and slumped or smacked their own foreheads.

"What?" Sirius demanded.

"Are we really back to square one?" James asked. "Or is this just a really bad dream?"

Remus said, "I think we are. Sirius is back to being a prat and not being able to say Hermione's name. And we're all going to suffer because of it."

Peter dropped face down into his pillow and made a low, frustrated sound. His voice was muffle by the pillow, but still audible when he said, "Sirius, why can't you just... stop?!"

"Honestly, I can't believe you," Remus said. "You two were best friends!"

"We were not!" Sirius snapped. "_We're_ best friends - you, me, Prongs, and Wormtail! That girl and I never were."

"It's sad, Sirius," Remus said, getting under his comforters. "The biggest lie you're telling is to yourself."

"I don't appreciate your Yoda-ing," Sirius growled, turning over in his own bed and yanking up the blankets. "Any other words of wisdom you have for the Padawan can wait until morning."

...~oOo~...

Thursday afternoon at lunch, Lily sat with the Marauders, much to the entire school's surprise. And when Hermione walked in with Alice and saw this, neither girl knew what to do. Alice shrugged and suggested that she sit where they usually did. But once they almost were at their normal spots, Lily caught sight of them and waved them both over.

Hermione and Alice exchanged looks.

"Aren't you and Sirius feuding again?" Alice said.

Hermione nodded.

"Then why is she..." Alice trailed off and sighed. "Let's just go. I want to tell Lily about how Frank sat with me in Arithmancy today!"

Hermione reluctantly followed the shorter girl and hesitated when she stood before the Marauders and Lily. Sirius was staring at his plate like it'd slapped his grandmother and James was all googly-eyed and beaming. Peter looked nervous and Remus smiled.

"Hello, Hermione, it's nice to see you after so long," Remus said, sending Sirius a pointed look that Sirius ignored while continued to loath his dinner. "Why don't you sit next to me?" He scooted over, making space between he and Peter.

With only a small pause, Hermione said, "I'd love to."

Alice had already started telling Lily all about how Frank sat with her in class and talked to her about how clueless he was on the subject and how they'd scheduled a study date.

"That's great, Alice!" Lily said, grinning. "Maybe you should go to Hogsmeade this weekend. It seems like a lucky day, doesn't it, Potter?"

"I'll say!" James agreed readily.

Lily, despite herself, giggled.

Hermione didn't know when Lily started seeing James in an attractive, positive way, but Hermione was guessing it had something to do with the prank war. It had been the first time she saw them laugh together, when they were pranking the mickey out of one another. Hermione thought Lily had the chance to see the fun side of like through James's point of view while simultaneously seeing him as a maturing young man in his Head Boy duties.

"Thinking of which," Peter said from next to Hermione, his chubby hands clutched in front of him. "Hermione, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

Oh, God. What? Hermione's brain temporarily malfunctioned while she got her bearings and recovered from that bomb. Peter Pettigrew was asking her on a date. Did the world get any queerer? It wasn't that the current Peter was anything more than an innocent, confused little follower, but still... the concept was... terrifying.

So Hermione came up with the best excuse she could have. And it was actually true. "That's very nice, Peter, but this Saturday I plan on spending all day in the _bookstore_." She stressed that word because she knew for a fact it turned most boys off. "I'm in the middle of a very complex project for Dumbledore and I can't put it off much longer - especially with that last detention delaying my research."

Peter's face fell morosely. "Oh."

"Do you have a disease?" Sirius commanded out of nowhere.

Hermione blinked and everyone around them, stunned into silence, were watching and waiting for her response. "Excuse me?" she finally squeaked.

"A disease, an ailment, a plague of some sorts that makes you incapable of doing anything except r_ead_?" Sirius said snappishly, now trailing the loathing he had for his plate up to her. "Peter is a great chap and you'd be lucky to go on a date with him - but you are too stupid to see further than the distance from your nose to the page of a bloody book!"

Everyone's mouths hung open at Sirius's ranting.

"Uh... I'm sorry?" was all Hermione was capable of saying, which, when she reflected upon it later, was pretty stupid.

"No, I'm sorry. Society is sorry. Sorry that you will never have fun, never go on a date, and never have a boyfriend!" Sirius continued, obviously on a roll. His face was red across his defined cheekbones. "You are going to move through this life alone and boring and with a thousand cats and a thousand books. But you will never know happiness or fun or adventure because you're too _stupid_ to take chances!"

Only really catching a few words in her shock, Hermione shot back, "I am not boring! I'll have you know I am a great deal of fun! In my... in my old school, I took chances all the time, broke rules constantly, and my best friends were some of the biggest troublemakers! Oh, and also, I did have a boyfriend once! He was a famous Quidditch player, thank you very much! And he liked me a lot, even though I liked books!"

When Hermione reviewed her words, she admitted that she'd sounding undoubtedly childish. They were shouting at each other like two six-year-olds.

"Oh, how fascinating," Sirius said mockingly. "A boy actually paid attention to you! Did this boy even speak English?"

Just barely. "Yes!"

"French too, I'm guessing?"

"Yes!" Well, Bulgarian actually.

"Then he's a prick."

"YOU SPEAK FRENCH, YOU IDIOT!"

"Il était probablement homosexuel!" _He was probably gay!_

"Il n'était pas!" _He was not!_

"Can you both start speaking English again, because I think I speak for everyone when I say we're confused," James said.

"Yeah," Peter agreed. "All I heard was 'homosexual' somewhere in there."

"We're done speaking anyway," Hermione steamed, getting out of her seat. "Because I'm leaving."

"No! I'm leaving!" Sirius shot back, also getting up.

"No, it's my turn to storm off and I'm not letting you take that away from me!" And Hermione did, indeed, storm off.

There was a drawn out silence among the Marauders.

"Um..." Peter murmured. "What just happened?"

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What do you think is going to happen in Hogsmeade? 3. Christmas is fast approaching! What do you think the boys and girls should do for the holidays?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	13. The Truth Comes Out

A/N. I just spent an entire two days doing schoolwork nonstop. I am eduction-ed out.

So I might be getting a new job, everyone! A job with... wait for it... BABIES! After my baby is born, I am going to apply to a daycare with a recommendation from one of the teachers I am familiar with there and if I get the job, my child can attend for free - so I will be able to watch my one child while I work! This would be great for me because it REALLY isn't within my budget to pay for daycare while maintaining a job.

Hopefully, dreams do come true.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Thirteen: The Truth Comes Out

James and Lily sat across from one another at Madame Puddifoot's, every girl's dream date spot. There was an overabundance of pink and little flittering cupids and doilies. James hated doilies. They were like poser napkins, trying to be snowflakes when really they were just paper. Doilies had to stop trying so hard.

"So..." Lily said once the awkward silence became unbearable. "Do you come here often?" Her green eyes twinkled with taunting.

With a small smirk, James said, "You bet. All the time. Sirius and I. We just can't get enough of their bloody pink tea and the bloody pink tablecloths and let's not forget the bloody pink lace every-fucking-where."

"How manly," Lily said, her own cupid's-bow lips curving into the most adorable of grins. "I'm such a lucky girl, having such a masculine guy take me out."

"You are," James said factually with a shrug. "Many girls would kill to fill your pretty and delicate Mary Jane shoes."

"I don't doubt it."

Raising an eyebrow, James said, "Don't be _too_ sarcastic, now."

Lily giggled to James's surprise. His dark eyebrows shot up at her pleasant and not at all condescending laugh. Last time she'd laughed around him was when she charmed his quill into a synthetic penis in Transfiguration during the prank war - and that laugh had not been nice at all. It had been mocking and made James droop like a wilting flower. This laugh, however, was soprano and tinkling like a pretty springtime song.

"So, how is... studying?" James asked. "Read anything interesting lately?"

And Lily smiled and began talking about some genetic anomaly in purebloods or something and James did his best to pretend to listen. He must have been doing a good job of it, because she kept smiling. But all James could see was the movement of her perfectly shaped pink lips and heard the comforting tone of her melodic voice. In the middle of that pink and coral-colored hell, James was in heaven.

...

The bookstore was empty for the most part. It made sense. Students didn't want to spend their day off in such a place and for the most part the residents of Hogsmeade stayed indoors for fear of the chaos that the Hogwarts kids would undoubtedly bring. The braver ones were running errands.

It was a little shop, but wall to wall with shelves and books, all crammed into every possible corner and stacked in whatever vacant space. The employee behind the front desk was reading a sort of Encyclopedia and only lifted his head to greet her.

And so Hermione began hunting. Hunting for any type of book on... well, anything. She wasn't entirely sure what she was there for, but she knew she was looking for some kind of fix to... everything. She knew she couldn't go forward in time, but a piece of her hiding in the recesses of logic was still eager to find a way. So she continued her research on time travel. It all said the same things over and over, but at least she felt like she was still working instead of remaining stagnant.

And during her mindless hunt for any sort of information, she found herself lingering a bit too long over a Love potion she found in the Brew section of the library. She was sitting on the floor, a collection of books around her, when she found the page. It was a simple sort of Love potion, but strong. Not quite Amortentia, but more manipulative in a sense.

Shaking herself, she shut up the book and started on a new one. It was a journal about a potioneer making great lengths with sleep-related potions. She didn't even hear someone else approach.

"Excuse me, but in case you haven't noticed, your book-hoarding is making it difficult to get down the aisle without tripping," the low, derisive voice said from above her.

Hermione knew that voice anywhere. it was the same voice who mocked her for her fervent hand-raising in class and berated her for helping Neville and being an insufferable know-it-all.

Severus Snape.

"Oh, my apologies," Hermione said, stacking her books and moving them to the side so he could pass through.

Without responding, Snape gave her a dark look, and swung to look at the potion books. If there was anything weird about standing three feet from someone you knew and not speaking, Snape certainly didn't show it - though Hermione definitely felt it.

The boy standing before her grew into one of the surliest, rudest, most pessimistic, most complicated man Hermione would ever know. Thirsty for knowledge, Hermione had to physically restrain herself from beginning an Inquisition.

She tried to go with casual conversation instead. "So... what are you looking for? Anything special?"

Snape studiously ignored her, selecting a book and flipping through the pages.

"I was only trying to be polite," Hermione groused.

"Aren't you Sirius Black's girlfriend?" Snape said snidely with an expert sneer. Really, nothing had changed about the boy. At all.

"No, you must be confusing me with Marlene McKinnon," Hermione said, playing dumb.

Snape scoffed. "Please. As if any person blessed with the gift of eyesight could mistake you for Marlene McKinnon."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hermione demanded, standing up.

"I think it should be obvious enough what I mean," Snape said dryly. "After all, I presume you look in the mirror in the morning?"

Hermione grimaced. He was one to talk. Severus Snape was a lot of things - sadistic, ingenious, brooding - but none of them were attractive, unfortunately. It wasn't that he was ugly, he was just...

Unique-looking.

And Hermione was unique-looking too!

"Looks aren't everything, you know," Hermione snapped back.

"I am well aware," Snape drawled. "Anyway, I hear you're quite the scholar."

That made her perk up a bit. "Really? From who?"

"McGonagall and Slughorn couldn't stop going on about you are your intelligence when I was doing an after-school Potions project a few weeks ago," he droned. "Said you even helped Black's grade skyrocket." His scowl was still prominent on his face, but his coal eyes were thoughtful.

"I assisted him a little," Hermione said modestly with a shrug. She really didn't want a playback of her First Year when this man had humiliated her for the pride she had in her intelligence.

"Apologies are probably in order," Snape said sarcastically, "seeing as you dealt with that mutt Black, but most girls in the school hardly have a difficult time in his presence."

"In case you've forgotten," Hermione said pridefully, "I was one of Sirius's victims too in that Potions class in September. I have no reason to fawn over him like some pathetic fanfgirl, and I'd thank you not to treat me like one."

At length, Snape said, "Fair enough. Now leave me be, I'm trying to read and I can't do so with your nattering in the background."

So Hermione shut up. She had her own reading to do anyway. At least Snape hadn't squashed her self-esteem to the size of a pea like he would in the future. He seemed relatively calmer as a teenager, she noted. Not as abrasive and not as wrathful all the time.

Hermione took her seat back on the floor and continued to read while Snape went on perusing the shelves next to her.

...

"Sirius, for future reference, when you take girls on dates, the bookstore really isn't all that romantic," Marlene whined as he gripped her hand and pulled her towards the store.

"Are you kidding?" Sirius said. "Bookstores are possibly the most romantic places in the world. I mean... think about it. All those stacks."

Marlene giggled but he really wasn't paying attention. He had his eyes on the front door of that shop and he wasn't slowing down to argue the pros and cons of books being involved during dates.

Sirius had spent so much time with Hermione, he was almost wondering if Marlene was weird for not wanting to be around books all the time or if Hermione was for never being without a book in her hand. He decided that his opinion was clouded because of all the studying he'd done with Hermione and the latter was probably the correct answer.

Sirius had initially planned to do the usual following Hermione routine with Peter and ditch Marlene, but as it finds out Peter eventually found a date - a chubby Hufflepuff girl with blondish hair - which left Sirius to his own devices. He hated being alone. It sucked. So he'd decided he'd drag along Marlene and put up with her whinging for the day rather than being the only Marauder without something to do that day.

Even Remus had an unofficial date with the new shop girl at Honeydukes that he was taking out for a drink during her lunch break and then he was probably going to hang around her during her shift like he did for the past two Hogsmeade weekends.

Anyway, Remus would never condone his little follow-Hermione game. He was such a kill-joy sometimes. Always had that morally-firm stick shoved far up his ass.

Sirius and Marlene were greeted by the man behind the desk, but he eyed them suspiciously like he was far too used to finding teen couples snogging in the corners of his store. Scratch that - he was far too used to finding _Sirius_ with miscellaneous girls snogging in the corners of his store.

But Sirius wasn't there to play bump and tickle that day. No, he was on a mission.

Hermione wasn't difficult at all to find but Sirius almost choked on his uvula at the sight of who she was standing with, looking at books with. He could barely hear their low voices exchanging words as they looked down at the same page in a book Snape was holding.

Getting annoyed with his skulking-around-the-store-suspiciously deal, Marlene began to whine, "Sirius -"

Sirius hissed, "Shh!"

But it was too late. Hermione and Snape's heads both turned at the sound and spotted Sirius and the Ravenclaw. Hermione's face curled into a scowl that could almost compete with Snape's.

"Snivellus," Sirius said curtly.

"Black," Snape responded like it was an expletive.

"If you'll excuse us," Sirius said, reaching out and snatching Hermione's wrist. "We must speak outside, don't we, Granger?"

"We do not!" Hermione snapped, whipping away her hand. "Ask nicely and I might consider."

"May I please speak to you outside?"

"No!"

"Oh, my," Snape said with a hint of satisfaction. "It must not be every day a woman responds unfavorably to your advances, is it, Black?"

"Eat dirt and choke, Snivellus," Sirius growled.

"Sirius! Don't be mean!" Hermione and Marlene chided in unison. The girls exchanged glances.

"Don't tell him what to do," Marlene said haughtily, crossing her arms. "He's _my_ boyfriend."

Hermione snorted derisively. "Please. As if that holds any merit. It's no secret that Sirius goes through girlfriend the same way he goes through Chocolate Cauldrons."

"And you know this from experience?" Marlene challenged. "Just because he dropped you like a hat doesn't mean he will do the same to me. You're new here, little girl, so don't act like you know Sirius Black better than the rest of us."

"Oh, but I do," Hermione said, her lips pursing. "I know more about him than you ever will. What's his favorite film?"

"His favorite what?"

"_Exactly_!"

"This is ridiculous," Marlene huffed. "Let's go, Sirius."

"I'm not leaving without Hermione," he said stubbornly.

"Are you forgetting who you came with?" Marlene screeched.

"No," Sirius said calmly. "I came with you and I'm leaving with her. Keep up with the conversation, kid."

"Excuse -"

"Oh, please," Snape groaned, sounding awfully bored with the exchange. "Get out while you still can, McKinnon. This worthless ponce isn't worth your time."

Sirius said, "Shut it, Snape! And McKinnon, just go. You and I are done. You don't have a handle on me and you can't tell me what to do."

Marlene's jaw dropped. "_What_?"

"Oh Merlin, he just broke up with you!" Hermione half-shouted. "Must every female on this planet act aghast every time they're broke up with? It's not all that complicated - you're over!"

"Yes, the theatrics are quite dull," Snape said, crossing his arms. "And I cannot bear to stand around for them." And he stalked away in the opposite direction of the lovers' quarrel.

Marlene was the next to storm out, letting out an angry half-scream and running away.

Next thing Hermione and Sirius knew, they were being kicked out by the owner for causing such a commotion.

Once they were outside of the store, Hermione made to walk away, but Sirius lightly snatched the back of her jumper. "Nuh-uh. We still have to talk."

"I'm not talking to you, Sirius Black!" Hermione exclaimed, hastening away, but he was close in her wake.

"What the fuck were you doing with Snivellus?" he demanded, right on her heels. They were making towards the town center where a rather large fountain stood in the middle. Curious, Hermione thought in passing. It wasn't there in the future.

"Is that really any of your business?" Hermione scoffed incredulously. "I don't owe you any explanation!"

"Yes you do!" Sirius said. "You _did_ kiss me, remember?"

Hermione gasped. "_You_ kissed _me_, you idiot!"

"Details," he said dismissively. "The point is you know what a greasy git Snivellus is and -"

"Oh, come off it, Sirius!" Hermione declared, moving faster but his legs were so long that her efforts were useless. "Just leave me alone! _And quit stalking me_!"

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU - IT'S NOT STALKING!"

"I'll tell you something, Black, if I ever -" she threatened, whipping around to halt him, but in doing so, he hadn't been prepared for the abrupt stop and crashing into her, chest to chest. The problem was that she hadn't realized how close they were to the fountain and tripped backwards over the stone of it.

Hermione let out a shrieked as she felt herself falling back and was especially shocked when Sirius grabbed her around the stomach and seemed to flip them mid-fall so that she was atop him.

The first second they hit the water was the worst. The jolting, bitter, freezing cold and wetness hit her like an adrenaline shot to the heart. She was shouting incoherently, as was Sirius actually, as they both gasped, frantically pulling themselves out of the water, struggling and slipping and falling again. It was a mess, spewing water, feeling their body temperature drop to zero, Hermione's hair even felt cold despite its lack of nerve-endings.

Finally scrambling out of the fountain, completely soaked through, hair dripping and stuck to her face, she slipped and hit the snow. Sirius, pulling himself out of the water with his black hair in his face and covering his eyes, tripping over Hermione's fallen body and fell himself, right next to her.

What a disaster.

From next to Hermione, his voice muffled by his face in the snow, Sirius grumbled, "I hate winter."

And neither knew why, but they both busted out laughing. Maybe the hypothermia already was killing their brain cells or maybe they were both just so incredulous, but they laughed hard. Neither could stop laughing. Their stomachs ached from every guffaw and they shivered uncontrollably.

"Let's... g-get... in the p-p-pub," Sirius stuttered through chattering teeth, reaching out and brushing her wayward curls from her face. Her hair was even more unmanageable wet than when it was dry. All sticky and tangled.

Shivering, Hermione nodded and the two shuffle-sprinting towards the Three Broomsticks.

She was thanking the heavens the moment she stepped through the door. It was mercifully warm and dry. Hermione schlepped her coat off, as did Sirius, bother eager to get out of their clothes but really not sure that stripping down in public was a good idea.

"OI! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL'S WRONG WITH YA? YOU'RE SOPPING!" Rosmerta yelled, her voice anger mixed with maternal concern. "It ain't enough for the both of you to drip on my floors, but now you've gotta catch pneumonia too?" She huffed and marched towards them, shoving a dangly silver key onto Sirius's hands. "You take this young lady up to Room 3 and dry yourselves off. And no funny business, you hear? I'll be checking there in an hour to make sure you're being a gentleman, Black."

"Oh, but Rosie," Sirius said with a sultry grin - the effect was dampened by how pathetic he looked, cold and wet - "you know from experience just how much I can get done in an hour."

"You've got some nerve," Rosmerta said, pushing them both towards the stairs up towards the rooms. "Now, be quick about it!"

The room was small, but accommodating and, most importantly, warm. Hermione and Sirius didn't share a single word as she silently called dibs on the bathroom by running to it and yanking the door shut, locking it. She quickly ran a very warm bath while throwing off each piece of clothing hastily. When she slipped into the water, every inch of skin screamed for a minute before finding comfort in the soothing heat. She felt her bones melt, one after the other.

Right when Hermione shut her eyes to thoroughly enjoy the water, there was a banging on the door.

"What?!" Hermione shouted, at wit's end.

There was a hesitation. "Just making sure you're okay!"

Hermione smacked herself in the forehead. That boy needed a punch in the nose. With a deep breath, she submerged herself and if Sirius Black was banging on the door, she wouldn't know.

...

Hermione didn't know why she waited while Sirius took his bath, but she curled onto her side on the bed in the dry clothes that had appeared on the bed. Hermione assumed they were courtesy of Rosmerta and was never so grateful to the woman. In this era, Rosmerta was very young, mid-twenties, and exceptionally gorgeous - although, she always was, just maybe with a few less wrinkles and no grey hair.

When Sirius walked out of the bathroom, he was naked for a towel wrapped around his waist. With a frustrated half-groan, Hermione closed her eyes. Had she seen Ron and Harry in various stages of undress? Of course. But she had a distinct feeling that Sirius did it on purpose.

Wordlessly, Hermione held out the stack of clothes for him, her eyes still clothes and she listened blindly to the slide and crunch of fabric and the dull sound of a zipper. When she opened her eyes, he wore plain denim trousers and a white t-shirt.

"Nice dress," Sirius said without any inflection, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

Hermione looked down. It was a very simple piece of cottion, empire-waisted and grey. Probably a housekeeper dress, but it was comfortable and long-sleeved, which was all Hermione asked for just then.

"I guess... we should apologize to one another," Sirius said.

Hermione snorted, drawing her knees up to her chest and resting her chin atop them. "No. You should apologize to me."

Sirius sighed. "Yeah, I guess. I'm sorry."

"For...?"

He huffed. "Must you make this more difficult than it already is?"

"Sirius Black, you have been nothing but a prat since I got here," Hermione said firmly, her brows pulled together angrily. "You have stalked me, pranked me, injured me, and - worst of all - kissed me! Who does something like that? All you've ever told me is how ugly and stupid I am and how much you hate me - and then you kiss me! Really, can you just decide how you're going to feel about me already?" With a big sigh, she shook her head and looked out the window away from him.

"I already know how I feel about you," Sirius said lowly. "And I don't like it."

"If you hate me, Sirius, really, I can take it," Hermione said quietly. "I get it. The kiss was just another prank and -"

"No," Sirius cut her off. "No, it wasn't. I'm not sure what the kiss was. You just... you confuse me, I guess is the best way to describe it." He felt so pathetic, reduced to sitting in an inn alone with a girl, with no romantic intentions, and talking about bloody feelings.

It didn't get much worse.

"And you're not really ugly or stupid," Sirius said, though it sounded reluctantly, like a petulant child not wanting to admit defeat. "You're actually rather pretty and one of the smartest people I know."

"Flattery will do you no good at this point, Black," Hermione said with narrowed eyes on him.

Sighing, he said, "I'm not trying to flatter you out of being upset, I'm just telling the truth. Anyway, I've always know that and just been too stubborn to admit it."

Shaking her head, she said, "You truly are the biggest git I know. You have the bloody nerve to take your girlfriend to stalk me, then attack both me and a boy i was having a pleasant conversation with in the bookshop, break up with said girlfriend in front of me, drag me into a fountain, and then to an inn where you think you can get away with being _nice_? Shut up, Sirius, just shut up."

"Hey! The fountain wasn't technically my fault!"

"If you hadn't been hounding me -"

"If you hadn't been running away -"

"Don't make this my fault, so help me -"

"Well, it's not _my_ fault!" he said loudly. "It was obviously the fountain's!"

"That's rich. Richer than the 'it was a ghost' excuse, in fact," Hermione said cynically, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, fine, so_ maybe_ it wasn't a ghost following you and _maybe_ it was me," Sirius said noncommittally. "But I had to! You were new and suspicious and I had to make sure you weren't dangerous!"

"I live in the library for God's sake! It doesn't get much innocent than that!"

"Books have great power."

"Oh, shut it, you don't even read! Anyway, when we had our study sessions you never felt the need to follow behind me creepily!"

"That's because you were my... sort-of friend. And I didn't think you were dangerous."

"You never thought I was dangerous," Hermione said sharply. "Your ego is too big for that - 'as if someone as mousy and small as me could be a threat to you'! I know how your head works, Sirius Black, now you tell me the truth before I hex it out of you!"

"_It's because I liked you, okay_?!"

Hermione's jaw nearly hit the bedsheets. "I'm sorry... what?"

"At first I did hate you, but then James and Remus were saying all these stupid things about you being an Evans and about being my wife and the films," Sirius ranted, seeming exceedingly frustrated. "And about feelings nonsense and it _freaked me the fuck out_, alright?! So I panicked!"

"So... like a six-year-old," Hermione said incredulously, "you kick sand and throw rocks at the girl you fancy to get her attention."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "If we were six years old all it'd take is a dandelion to get you to kiss me in the schoolyard."

"YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE, YOU IMMATURE, UTTERLY RIDICULOUSLY EMPTY-HEADED, NARCISSISTIC, EGOTISTICAL, CHILD!" Hermione threw herself up from the bed and started marching towards the door.

"No, no! Hermione, stop, please, I need to tell you something!" Sirius said, scrambling after her.

"WHAT?!"

He cleared his throat. This was it. Time to stop being a baby, time to face the facts, time to put everything on the table. He'd wanted to tell her after getting her out of the bookshop and away from Snape, but obviously that hadn't worked out. "I have spent the last few weeks watching the films you brought me over and over. And I've realized something."

Crossing her arms, Hermione demanded, "What would that be?"

"I'm not Indiana Jones," he said. "I'm obviously James Bond."

"Are you kidding right now?"

"No," Sirius said, looking the most serious she'd ever seen him, "because James Bond always gets the girl."

"Well, not this time, you aren't," Hermione said coldly, flinging open the room door and then slamming it shut behind her.

Sitting back down on the bed, Sirius cradled his face in his hands exhaustedly. He hadn't planned to say so much. He'd just wanted to tell Hermione that he wanted to have films with her again. Realistically, he hadn't even known how he felt until he said it.

But it was true nonetheless. Sirius liked Hermione. And Sirius never backed out of a challenge - not when he wanted something so much.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What will Sirius do to try and charm Hermione now that his secret is out? 3. How do you think the rest of James and Lily's date went?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	14. Making Wishes

A/N. Today (it's one o'clock in the morning) I go to a fair, so I wanted to get some writing done before my days goes down the drain.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Fourteen: Making Wishes

With a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, Sirius slowly made his way back to Hogwarts. He was processing his day in his head and the smooth burn at the back of his throat and in his chest calmed him down. He loved to smoke. There was just something incomparable to walking alone with your thoughts in the snowfall with a smoke. It was the closest thing to being on a cloud that Sirius could imagine.

He'd been an idiot - that much was clear. He had relied on his history of girls falling at his feet when he approached Hermione instead of thinking of her as an individual. Because she was far, far different than his usual brand of bird. He wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing yet (probably both) but he knew this called for something more... creative than his usual suave words. This would call for wooing and enchanting and practicing his skills as a real gentleman.

Sirius groaned to himself. Why did things have to be so difficult?

What would James Bond do? he asked himself.

Simple. He'd save a damsel in distress and then shag her senseless before moving onto the next one.

Not exactly the solution he needed right then. When he was 007 he'd entertain the theory, but for right now he was dealing with a very sensitive, very stubborn, very clever witch and if he wasn't careful enough, it could very well be at the risk of his manhood.

He was halfway back to the school when someone came jogging up next to him, saying, "Pads, there you are!"

"Hey, Moony," Sirius said dejectedly.

"Where's Marlene?"

"Dumped her."

"Unsurprised." Remus shrugged, his breaths making little rapid clouds in front of his mouth. He stuffed his hands down into the pockets of her old, threadbare peacoat. It was probably his father's at one point, Sirius considered. "So what else happened in Hogsmeade?"

"Fell into the fountain."

Raising an eyebrow, Remus said, "How did that happen?"

"It wasn't on purpose," Sirius started off by clarifying. "Hermione and I were fighting and he crashed and fell into the fountain. It was cold. And then we went to the inn to warm up where he basically told me to sod off after I told her how I felt."

"How do you feel?"

Sirius shrugged and took another drag. "I... like her."

There was a pause before Remus said, "Well, how bloody else do you expect her to react? Of course she's going to run! You torture the poor girl and then tell her you fancy her? Please don't tell me I'm the only one here who sees fault in your approach."

"I apologized!" Sirius said defensively. "I said sorry!"

"Sorry is hardly enough after what you put her through," Remus said simply. "I wouldn't forgive you, either."

"Thanks, Moons," Sirius growled. "Really, you're a great mate."

"You know it's true," Remus said, ever the voice of reason. "You'll just have to, you know, put effort into being nice. I know it will be quite the feat for you -"

"Shut it."

Remus smirked and reached out to ruffled his friend's hair. "Calm down. Hermione is the type of girl that respects chivalry and intelligence."

"And you would know this because you're a Hermione Expert now?"

"Though I did not partake in your adorable little movie nights," Remus said, amusement dancing in his tawny eyes, "I have spent my fair share of time with the girl and... she's special. She's the type of girl that's easy to fall for if you don't watch yourself."

Narrowing his eyes, Sirius said, "Don't tell me I'll have to add you onto the list of enemies along with Wormtail and Zubko."

Remus let out a warm laugh that put Sirius at ease. "Please. I wouldn't dare get in you and Wormtail's way. Anyway, it would be like taking candy from a baby - hardly a fair fight."

"Well, aren't you smug," Sirius chuckled, throwing his arms around Remus's shoulders and purposely leaning his weight into him to knock him unsteady. Remus held his ground though, only swerving a little. "You know, Moony, it's true. I mean, you're all bookish and whatnot. She's all bookish. You'd be like a match made in heaven..." Sirius paused. "But you can't have her," he added firmly, making clear that his teasing had no truth in it.

"Don't worry," Remus said, "I promise to keep my paws to myself."

...~oOo~...

The next morning, James and Remus both stared curiously at Sirius as he wrote notes fervently from an actual book. They figured he was cramming for homework due the next day until they saw that it wasn't a textbook and instead was an advanced Transfiguration book that one could only get through the library.

"How did you get that?" James asked.

Sirius gave him a blunt look, pausing in his scribbles. "How do you think, James?"

"But you're banned from the library," Remus said. "Madame Pince wouldn't let you take out books."

"I just took it," Sirius said with a shrug, returning to his parchment.

"Hmm. Hermione will love that. Stealing from the library. You're off the a great start impressing her, mate."

James's eyes popped open wide. "What? What do you mean 'impress Hermione'?"

Remus smiled smugly and explained, "Sirius here has finally manned up and admitted that he likes Hermione... _to _Hermione, no less."

"Why didn't anyone tell me this?" James asked indignantly.

"I would have, last night, but you wouldn't shut up about your bloody date with Evans," Sirius grumbled.

"Well, you should have punched me! I need to hear these things, you know!"

"The point is," Remus said, "is that Hermione hates him. And so now he has to actually put work into earning a girl's affections. Which apparently has driven him to reading willingly. We're proud of you, Pads."

"Your encouragement does nothing but make me doubt these methods. It's not as if you have a great history with women, Remus. I mean, you've been trailing the girl at Honeyduke's like a puppy for two years now and you haven't brought yourself to ask her on a real date yet," Sirius pointed out.

"That isn't out of error," Remus reminded him. "It's on purpose. I like being around her, but I can't be... you know... intimate with her."

"Because," James said, raising an eyebrow, "you're afraid Moony will come out to play?"

"That," Remus said, "and the fact that I'd be constantly lying."

"Sirius lies all the time," James said nonchalantly. "That doesn't stop him from having girlfriends."

"I do not!" Sirius said, obviously offended. "Not the girlfriends part - that's true - but the lying bit. I rarely lie. Honesty is a prime characteristic of a Gryffindor, something that Hermione should find refreshing and trusting."

Just then, Peter slid in beside his mates, looking sleepy and ruffled with dripping wet hair and heavy-lidded eyes. He yawned, "What about refreshments and trophies?"

"Oh, nothing, we were just discussing how if Sirius thinks he's going to flatter Her- OW." James rubbed his side where he'd been savagely elbowed by Sirius. "What was that for?"

"So, Wormy, how'd you sleep? You look like a lovely ball of sunshine - have you been using moisturizer?" Sirius rattled, clapping a hand over James's mouth.

Peering out through his tired slits, Peter examined Sirius curiously with big fat bags hanging from below his eyes. He looked like the walking dead. Peter Pettigrew was not a morning person - but he was, in fact, a food person. Which was what motivated him to get out of bed at all on weekends - breakfast.

Peter shook his head, deciding this might still be an elaborate dream and dropped his head to this plate to fall back asleep in his pile of bacon.

James hissed to Sirius once Peter was snoring, "What was that whole freak-out for?"

"You were going to tell Wormtail about my flirtation with Hermione!" Sirius growled as if it was obvious.

"I'm pretty sure a 'flirtation' requires both parties' participation," Remus pointed out.

"Why can't Wormtail know?" James asked once Sirius gave Remus the two-finger salute.

"Because! I've said it before - it's Marauders' Code. Technically speaking, he had called 'dibs'. Which means that any advancements I make is in violation of the Code, making me a traitor," Sirius explained. Then with a flourish, he said, "However, there is a loophole. Say I continue with my usual 'pranks' on her... say these pranks become friendlier or flirtatious - but that is a matter of perception. They could very well still be ill-intended - but Peter and the Code wouldn't know that. And if these said 'pranks' lead to Hermione becoming taken with me, well... it certainly wasn't _my_ fault. After all, I'm only a bully. And if she fancies me at anytime during my _terrorizing_ her, well there is no violation because _I _was not_ forward_ at all."

James was cross-eyed trying to work out everything Sirius just said and Remus was shaking his head.

"I find it amusing," Remus said, "that he works so hard to find a loophole in a Code that exists solely in his head."

...~oOo~...

On Monday, Hermione sat down in Potions' class. Everything was set out to brew what looked like the Dragon Pox cure. Hermione sat at her usual cauldron and saw that there was something sitting at the bottom of the coal black pot.

It was a neatly folded piece of paper. Looking around curiously - she was the first one in the classroom and Lily was right behind her - Hermione then opened the paper up, thinking it may be notes left from the last class.

The paper said:

_Do your Assignment - _

_No Doubt, you always do-_

_while Evans is your partner, Love_

_I am too. _

_when Open your monkshood and eye of Newt -_

_you'll get a Surprise, _

_this is your clue._

Staring at is blankly, Hermione felt the suspicion take hold of her. She knew the handwriting. Heavy-handed, loping script like a Catholic school student. This had Sirius Black written all over it.

Half of the classroom was full as Hermione tried to make sense of the riddle and the strange format that it was written. Lily was beside her, watching her carefully before saying, "Is everything all right?"

Hermione looked at all of the ingredients. Monkshood and the eye of newt were nuzzled right next to each other. "I'm not sure," Hermione said. "But... don't touch any of the ingredients yet."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Sirius is playing one of his games," Hermione said, handing the note over as explanation.

Lily scanned it over and scowled. They both looked across the room, but the Marauders hadn't arrived yet. "We better figure it out before they get here and class starts - wouldn't want to give them the satisfaction."

Hermione nodded in agreement. "On the count of three, you grab for the newt and I'll grab the vial of monkshood. One... two... three!"

They both snatched the ingredients and cringed, waiting for the explosion.

But there was none. Instead it was a small poof and in their hands sat nothing except two very gold, long-steemed dandelions.

The girls stared at the flowers in...

They weren't sure what emotion they were felling, actually.

"Um..." Hermione said. "I think... this prank was meant for me." Despite herself, a blush crawled to her cheeks.

"Is this some kind of inside joke between you two?" Lily asked, handing her flower over.

"Sure, let's say that," Hermione hedged vaguely.

_Sirius rolled his eyes. "If we were six years old all it'd take is a dandelion to get you to kiss me in the schoolyard."_

The memory of their conversation in the inn two days before made Hermione unsettled. Hermione felt something warm tingle in her fingers as she twirled the flowers thoughtfully between her forefinger and thumb.

Slowly, and Hermione wasn't sure why she was so hesitant, Hermione reached over for her Potions textbook, turning to the page Slughorn was writing on the board. Right in between the pages sat another dandelion. Hermione turned the page and found another. She tested it again, turned to the very back of the book - and found a dandelion.

Hermione reached for another ingredient, a pinkish powder and with a small little poof in transfigured into yet another dandelion.

Lifting her head, Hermione saw Sirius sliding into his seat with his friends and found him watching her. When their eyes met, Sirius gave his trademark smirk and went to preparing for his assignment.

Everything Hermione touched became a dandelion and it became more and more frustrating, having her supplies become nothing more than a useless mountain of yellow flowers on her desk.

Until she found exactly the supplies she needs nestled on the inside of the cauldron, in flawless bottles and containers, ingredients that stayed the same when she touched them.

It wasn't much of a prank. She didn't get in trouble, for she still had the proper supplies, and the randomly appearing flowers brought smiles to a lot of the other students' faces. It wasn't mocking laughter, but happy little giggle that made it clear they all knew what was happening to Hermione.

Slughorn even chortled and winked at Hermione, saying, "It looks like you have an admirer, Miss Granger."

Hermione felt Sirius's eyes glued on her intently, watching and waiting for a reaction or a response, but Hermione couldn't look back at him - especially when she hesitantly tucked one of the many flowers into her hair.

After class, Sirius walked over to her when she was putting her things away and picked up one of the flowers. He gently blew on its topaz petals wordlessly and as he did, the flower aged into its fuzzy-seeded, grey elder version. He held it out to her and grinned, saying only, "Make a wish."

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Do you think Peter will find out about Sirius and his "loophole"? 3. What other cute things should Sirius do to gain Hermione's attention?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	15. Mistletoe Mischief

A/N. Sorry about the delay (I feel like I'm always delayed, haha) but it's been a busy few weeks. Good news - I got my glasses repaired! YEY I CAN SEE AGAIN! It's so nice to be able to read signs when I'm driving, haha!

For those of you who read The Last Marauder - obviously my theory of time travel is MUCH different here. This physiology of the Time-Turner is probably more "canon". To put it simply - Hermione can't really change anything because its all already happened, which meant she already had some effect on history before she made her time travel because TECHNICALLY she already had...

Okay, my brain hurts and I'm not entirely sure any of that made sense.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Fifteen: Mistletoe Mischief

"Make a wish."

Hermione stared at the flower for a moment. Even those her heart was doing little jump-rope skips, she fought to keep her expression carefully cool. She wasn't smiling, nor was she frowning. Merely examining.

Instead of indulging or refuting him, Hermione wordlessly gathered the reaminder of her supplies and walked out of the classroom.

Sirius, still holding the fuzzy dandelion, paused in shock before jogging after her. He caught her just when she'd entered the corridor.

"Well?" Sirius prompted.

"Well, what?" Hermione said.

"You know what this means, right?"

"What does this mean, Sirius?" Hermione asked tonelessly, eyes forward.

"It means you have to reimburse me for every flower," Sirius answered.

She snorted. "Reimburse you?"

"Yes," Sirius said with a grin. "A kiss for every dandelion. Which equates two about two good snogs."

Despite herself, Hermione laughed. It was an incredulous sort of laugh. "You think that a little flower prank is going to make everything okay? Make me fall in love with you or something?"

"I was sort of hoping -"

"No! No, no! Sirius BLack, allow me to teach you a lesson about women. Not the little girls you occupy yourself with, but real _women_. Romantic gestures to cover up a wrong do _not_ work. Because they aren't _real apologies_. Do you understand?" Hermione demanded, exasperated. "Maybe if you just said you were sorry - and actually mean it - maybe then -"

"I'm sorry," he said firmly, cutting her off. His eyes were not mocking, but sincere. "I mean it. I'm sorry. It was stupid of me to think that one flowery prank would make you forgive me or to think that pestering you endlessly would make you like me. But like you just said, I'm used to charming... girls. Because I'm still only a _boy_, Hermione. And I'm going to cock up. A lot. It's what I do!"

"Will you ever grow up, though?" Hermione asked, genuinely curious.

"Not if I can help it."

"Sirius, you _aren't_ Peter Pan," Hermione told him. "And I'm not Wendy."

"Your problem is that you don't know how to loosen up," Sirius said firmly. "Sure, I'm immature, but at least I know how to have_ fun_! When was the last time you had fun?"

Hermione paused. Honestly, the last time she had fun was with Ron and Harry before Dumbledore's death. In other words, a very long time ago. She enjoyed reading, yes, but her current reading was more dutiful than personal. She was still determined to soak up every piece of knowledge the world had to offer about time travel.

But Hermione didn't answer - couldn't answer. Because she hadn't had real fun in a long time and she wasn't about to admit that to Sirius. Because that would mean admitting he was right.

"Ah-hah!" he said victoriously. "See? You don't know how to have fun because you're out of practice! Pull that broomstick out of your arse for a few bloody minutes, will you? Allow yourself to be flattered that the most handsome boy in Hogwarts has taken notice of you!"

With a deep breath, Hermione rubbed her eyes. She was sick of this back-and-forth between them. It was like a huge circle they kept running in. "Alright," she said in defeat. "Alright! Thank you, Sirius, for the lovely sentiment."

Sirius's face broke out into the smile she remembered seeing on Older Sirius's face when Harry visited. Bright and handsome and lively. With a hint of satisfaction. "Your welcome," he said, still wearing that picture-perfect grin. "Now about those kisses..."

"Don't push your luck, Black," Hermione said firmly, continuing with their walk.

"How about... a film instead? And one kiss?"

"_No kisses_."

"Just a film then?"

Hermione sighed, feeling exponentially tired. "Sure."

...~oOo~...

"SIRIUS!"

James looked up from his book and over to the boy in the bed next to his. "Moony, have you noticed, that whenever Hermione and Sirius are getting along its far louder than usual around here?"

The thunder of Hermione's steps rang in their ears and when the door flew open, revealing a very angry-looking Hermione, the three boys in the room could not help themselves and began laughing.

Hermione's already-bushy hair was standing straight up on its ends, creating a massive brown halo around her head. Flying around her body and nose-diving at her were little chocolates with wings that seemed content to poke at her and try shoving themselves up her nose.

"Where is he?" Hermione demanded shrilly of James, Remus, and Peter. "I know he's in here!"

"Actually, he isn't," Remus laughed while Peter very nearly rolled off his own bed with mirth. "What happened?"

"I go to my room to find balloons and chocolates," Hermione explained, her voice high-pitched and panicked. "I open the card and it has one of his blasted riddles in it before the balloons start attacking my hair and the chocolates start pecking at me and forcing their way into my mouth!"

"What happened to the balloons?" James asked through his guffaws.

"Alice came to my rescue and popped all of them, but the chocolates are evil!" Hermione swatted one of them furiously. "They're too small to hit with spells - because it'll hit me too! WHERE IS HE?!"

The boys all looked at one another. "No clue," James eventually said. "Last we saw him was at dinner."

"You can't lie to me, James Potter!" Hermione said, her face twisted into a dark scowl and hitting chocolate-covered cherries from ramming into her nose. "You and Sirius are like conjoined twins! Tell me where he is!"

"Honestly, I have no clue!" James said again, eyes big and innocent.

"Nor do I," Remus said apologetically.

Peter joined in, "Do you think he could be following you in the library?"

"Seeing as she's right here, I don't think that makes much sense," James said at the same time Hermione shouted, "HE'S STILL STALKING ME?!"

"Don't worry, Hermione," Remus said. "Christmas holiday is in two weeks and you won't have to deal with Sirius's yuletide madness much longer."

"Remus, I hate to sound brash, but none of that even slightly matters to me when I'm getting bruises and a bloody nose from flying caramel-filled monsters!"

"We'd love to help you," James said, "but unfortunately our only means of knowing Sirius's location is currently Missing In Action."

Hermione knew they meant the Map, but didn't say anything.

"Fine!" she said. "FINE. I'm going to the Infirmiry - hopefully Madame Pomfrey knows how to end this hell!"

"GUYS, GUYS, GUYS, HAVE YOU SEEN HERMIONE? I THINK SOMETHING MAY HAVE GONE WR -" Sirius skidded into the room and halted, eyes wide and chest heaving. Apparently he'd been running and freaking out about something. "Hermione!" he exclaimed, sounding relieved and taking in her appearance with some horror and guilt. "Thank Merlin I've found you! The balloons and chocolates -"

"Are evil! I've noticed!" Hermione hissed, flailing her arms wildly, highlighting the mess of her hair and chocolates. "You are the worst, Sirius, I swear -"

"No, no! It was an accident!" Sirius said quickly, taking out his wand and flicking it. With an audible pop, all of the homicidal candies hit the ground. But Hermione's hair stayed the same. "You see, I tried making it so that if anyone besides you touched the stuff, they'd be attacked, but then I sort of forgot the rest of the spell and ran down to the library, but when I got back, Alice told me what happened and... are you... are you crying?" he asked in terror.

Sniffling and rubbing her nose, Hermione shook her head. "No, I'm not crying! It's just... you... it was an accident?"

"Yes, that's what I just said. Hermione, are you alright?"

Hermione nodded and started patting at her hair, trying to get it down. "Yes, I'm fine. I just... thank you for... I'll be leaving now." And she hastened out of the room. She was embarrassed. She'd starting tearing up out of pure frustration and now she felt like an over-emotional little girl again.

And if she was being honest, she would confess that she'd been very upset over thinking Sirius was back to harmfully pranking her again.

Sirius watched as Hermione sprinted out and then looked to his friends. He shook his head. "Girls are weird."

All three boys nodded in agreement.

...~oOo~...

Sirius Black loved Christmas. He loved the season, loved the traditions, and above all, loved the mistletoe. He sang carols through the halls for the entire month of December and insisted upon decorating the Marauders' dorm room with garland and tinsel and even a nativity scene on the dresser. He even loved Hanukkah and put Dreidels on everyone's pillows.

So, yes, Sirius loved Christmas.

And from the very start of December on, Sirius was sending Hermione "gifts" - like the balloons and chocolates. But his most impressive gifts were his paper foldings. Every day she'd go to a class - it was usually her first one in the morning - and find a special three-dimensional paper-folded scene on her desk.

The first one had been... a partridge in a pear tree.

Now, Hermione, seeing the intricate detail and the effort that the little scene must have taken, did not have the heart to tell Sirius that the 12 Days of Christmas did not mean the days leading up to Christmas, but rather the day of and the eleven days following.

The turtle doves and every gift after were absolutely beautifully folded. And they weren't only folded with paper, but thin metallic material and detailed with ink and glitter.

Hermione kept every scene and ended up lining them up on the dressers in her dorm room. The other girls in the dorm loved them and became eager to see the daily gifts as well. They'd also taken to teasing Hermione about her admirer... well, most of them. Others were undeniably jealous.

Due to the final exams before holiday, Hermione had taken up a lot of time in the library, but three days before the Hogwarts Express was due to take students home for the holidays, Sirius sent Hermione a letter along with her dancing ladies.

_Mrs. Claus, _

_Ho ho ho! Happy Christmas! In a few short days, I'll be leaving you for tiding of fig pudding and giving gifts to the children of the world (or, maybe just James, Remus, and Peter - after all, I'm not rich anymore) and there would be nothing I would like more than to share one last plate of cookies with my wife. Say, the North Pole, nine-ish?_

_Love,_

_Saint Nick_

...

"Sirius Black, your simile in this letter was disturbing to say in the least and you are the farthest thing from a saint, my friend," Hermione said as she walked into their film-watching classroom.

And when she saw him, Hermione halted completely and started laughing hysterically.

In lieu of his usual uniform was a bright red Santa hat and a matching long-sleeved red t-shirt, completed with red pajama pants and black boots and mittens.

"What are you wearing?" she asked, trying to stop the bubbling giggles.

"My standard attire," Sirius said as if it should have been obvious. "I'm Father Christmas after all!"

"Sirius, I could handle you thinking you were a Muggle action hero," Hermione laughed, "but... this?!"

"Yes, 'this'!" Sirius said with faux insult. "I thought I was rather adorable!"

"No doubt about it," Hermione chuckled. "You _always_ think you're adorable."

"But tonight especially so," Sirius said, striding up to her. He pulled off a mitten and snapped his fingers to make a candy cane appear in his palm, held out to her. Hermione accepted it reluctantly, waiting for it to explode. When it never did she began sucking on it.

"So I have your gift," Sirius said, reaching around his back and withdrawing a big red-wrapped box with a lid and a bow on top.

"And I yours!" Hermione said. She took a small package from her pocket and tapped it with her wand, expanding it to its normal size once more.

"Open mine first!"

"No, yours!" Hermione said, pushing the box into his hand.

"No, really, you'll want to open yours first," Sirius persisted.

With a sigh and a laugh, Hermione lifted the lid off of her box and gasped.

Sitting inside, looking sleepy and content, was a kitten. Speechless, Hermione looked up at Sirius with the question in her eyes.

"Do you remember when you told me that you had an orange cat back in France that you missed? Well... I know she won't replace the other, but..." Sirius shrugged with a lopsided grin. "Hopefully, she helps with the homesickness."

The cat was a baby Crookshanks, essentially, ginger-haired and half-kneazle. IT was purring in its sleep, curled in the corner of the box. There were holes that Hermione only then saw that had been feeding the cat air. At least Sirius wasn't completely crazy.

"Come here, baby," Hermione whispered, reaching in and lifting the tiny creature into her arms and cradling the kitten in her elbow. "What shall I call her?"

"I've already named her," Sirius said with a smile.

Of course he did. "Oh, really? What's her name, then?"

"Dandelion," he said, his eyes shining. "Dandy for short."

Hermione nuzzled the cat's back to hide her blush. Sirius sure knew how to make a girl smile.

"Alright, open yours now!" Hermione said.

Ripping open the paper like an eager five-year-old, Sirius threw the shreds of wrapping to the side and tore off the lid to the box inside. There were two things. Sirius's jaw dropped.

"No way!" he exclaimed. "A HAT LIKE INDIANA JONES. AND A BLOODY JAMES BOND BOW-TIE." He was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet and Hermione giggled. She had predicted such a reaction and couldn't help but feel like she deserved a pat on the back.

Sirius didn't give her a pat on the back, though. He gave her a full-n, body crushing hug.

"WATCH IT! YOU'LL CRUSH MY CHRISTMAS GIFT!" Hermione snapped half-heartedly, tucking Dandelion closer.

"Oh my Merlin, Hermione," Sirius said, looking at the hat and bow-tie with wide, awe-filled eyes. "I may have to marry you for this, you know."

"How about I give you the last part of the gift instead of a proposal?" Hermione said, biting her lip.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I am giving you this against my better judgement," she began. "Because you will undoubtedly make a plethora of inappropriate jokes and maim half the school, but... I mean... it sort of completes the hat." She pulled out one more thing from her pocket that looked like a small strand of yarn in her hand, but when she brought it back to size Sirius saw it for what it really was.

A bullwhip. Just like Indiana Jones.

Unable to summon the proper words for such an awesome present, Sirius spluttered for a little bit, hesitantly reaching out for the whip and cradling it in his hands carefully.

"Now, it's just for show!" Hermione said firmly. "If I ever catch you actually using it, so help me, I will -"

But she was cut off by Sirius's mouth. He planted one huge, playful, sloppy kiss on her mouth before pulling away and guffawing uncontrollably. Hermione glared at him and wiped at her mouth, rubbing away the traces of his saliva, about to ream him out - when Sirius pointed at the ceiling.

Above them, dangling innocently, was a sprig of mistletoe.

"Alright," Hermione sighed. "I'll let you get away with that one, I suppose. It is Christmas, after all."

"Indeed," Sirius said, stepping closer with dancing mischief in his dark, smoky eyes. "It is Christmas." And he pressed his mouth to hers once more.

And this time, Hermione closed her eyes... and allowed herself to enjoy.

When their lips parted, Sirius only said, "Happy Christmas."

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Hermione and Sirius are getting alone again! How long do you think it will last? haha! 3. What do you think will happen next?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	16. Holiday Hostage

A/N. Hi, everyone! This chapter took a bit longer to punch out and this time I have an understandable excuse! I broke my dominant hand. Which sucks, because I am nearly seven months pregnant and half-broken (I am useless). So please, if you can find it in your heart, forgive me for any worse-than-usual typos in this chapter (and the next) because, really, I wrote it with one hand and the index finger of my casted one.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Sixteen: Holiday Hostage

In the Gryffindor common room, Hermione watched as students scrambled to gather the last of their things to go on winter holiday with their families. The train was due to leave at noon and there were all the grumpy early-risers who were trying desperately to be ready. Hermione had woken before dawn and travelled to the common room with a book and a sleepy Dandelion, but now she was preoccupied with the bustle of everyone else and her new cat was snoozing.

She was especially amused when Sirius, one of those people that needed to be fed something before they were actually awake, came grumbling down the staircase with his three mates who were all chattering excitedly around him.

"Shutupshutupshutup..." Hermione faintly heard him moaning. She smirked and went back to her book.

"Good morning, Hermione!" Peter said cheerfully, spotting her on the sofa.

"Morning, Peter. Boys." She gave a half-wave.

"Where are your things?" Peter asked as Sirius plopped down on the sofa next to her.

Sirius promptly plucked the book out of her lap and replaced it with his head. She felt his hot breath against her thigh as he continued mumbling like a madman.

"Upstairs," Hermione explained, impatiently poking at Sirius, hoping to get him off - there was no hope. "I'm not leaving for the holidays."

"Why?" James asked, looking and sounding concerned.

"Bit of a long story." Only, it really wasn't. She just didn't have anywhere to go.

James's brow was crinkled pensively as he considered this.

Peter was frowning. "I'm sorry, Hermione. Wish there was something we could do."

"Well, you all could take a little time to owl me?"

Remus smiled and nodded. "Of course we will. Or rather, they'll force me to write their letters - so_ I'll_ owl you."

"Sounds fair," Hermione chuckled.

Muffled by her denims, Sirius said something.

"Huh?" Hermione asked.

"I'll write you," he murmured sleepily again.

"Yes, Sirius, I know you will," she sighed. What a lovely Christmas. Stuck in the castle all by her lonesome and receiving drunken letters from Sirius Black. Exactly how she wanted to spend her holidays.

"I'll write you poetry and short stories about King Sirius and his Pageboy James. And the village shrew, Hermione. And Prince Pettigrew and that guy that sings with the mandalin-thingy Remus."

Hermione the the three fully awake Marauders looked at one another.

"Should we bother correcting him?" Hermione inquired.

Remus shook his head. "He won't remember it, anyway."

"Well, Sirius, I can't say I look forward to your prose and poetry, but I appreciate the sentiment," Hermione said, delivering a gentle pat to his head. "Now, you best be off. You don't want to miss the train."

"What train?" Sirius mumbled before falling into deep snores once more.

"He's out," James reported with a heavy sigh.

"I've never seen him this bad," Hermione noted. "Did he sleep at all last night?"

"Actually, he didn't," Remus said.

Peter and James both looked at him.

"How exactly would you know that?" James asked.

Remus rolled his eyes. "I have very good hearing. I heard him tossing all night - it kept me up."

James grinned. "I don't believe that for a second. Were you and Sirius cuddling? Snogging? Is he everything you ever hoped for in a man?"

Remus explained to Hermione, "Sometimes my friends like to pretend I'm a girl. The disturbing part is that I let them."

Hermione giggled and Remus grinned. Normally, his cynical sense humor received nothing but dramatics from his friends - but Hermione laughed. It made him feel like, maybe, he was actually funny. She obviously thought so.

Then, out of nowhere, Sirius started violently out of his sleep, almost knocking Hermione's chin with his head. Everyone around him jumped and watched, waiting for him to say something.

He said, "Merlin! Hermione, you're not leaving for holiday?"

"Didn't we just go through this?" Peter asked, looking confused about whether Sirius was way behind or he was having major deja vu.

"No, Sirius, I can't -"

"But!"

Hermione could see the determination brewing in Sirius's eyes. "Really, Sirius, it's fine, I'd rather spend my holiday in the -"

"DON'T SAY LIBRARY!" he erupted, placing a hand over her mouth which she quickly smacked away. "You can't be here alone! You'll read yourself to death! And what about presents and eggnog and boring parents' Christmas parties!" Sirius's head whipped to James. "Tell her she has to leave!"

James shrugged. "I mean, she could come with us if she wanted. My mum and dad wouldn't mind."

Hermione was shaking her head. "I couldn't intrude -"

"YES, YOU COULD!" Sirius shouted, grabbing Hermione's wrist and yanking her off the couch. "Come along, Hermione, you have a trunk to pack!"

...~oOo~...

"James, really, I don't want to -"

"Hermione, stop."

"But, if your parents don't want me to -"

"Really. Stop."

"But... James!"

"Listen," James said, spinning on Hermione on the platform. "Hermione. You are hardly an imposition. Sirius, however, is - and we've kept him around for over a year now."

Sirius glared.

"My parents are loaded and we have a massive house," James said matter-of-factly with a casual shrug. "If anything, we need more people in our house so we don't look like the arseholes with three people who live in a mansion."

Hermione was gnawing at her lip. This was so very last-minute and it made her nervous. She'd been physically dragged to the train and Sirius had been the one to pack her bags while she refused, refused, refused. None of it work. Remus even helped and Peter guarded the door so she wouldn't escape. Nothing said Christmas like a hostage situation.

Once the Marauders made a decision, there was no stopping them. Hermione had even tried magic - but James was an exceptional duelist.

On the platform, Sirius and James both had their arms hooked through Hermione's. To any bystander, it looked friendly. But Hermione knew it for what it was - restraints. Remus was walking alongside them and Peter hung around until he saw his mother, who he ran at excitedly.

"Mummy's boy," Sirius scoffed. James chuckled and Remus just smirked. Boys will be boys and all that.

Then James's face broke out into a big smile and he let Hermione go to jog towards and older-looking couple.

"He's a mummy's boy too," Sirius said and this time Remus couldn't help but laugh.

James's parents were, as said, older. Mrs. Potter had lovely dark red hair with shocks of white running through it and Mr. Potter's was a sophisticated, slicked back salt-and-pepper. Mrs. Potter wrapped her arms around her much-taller son and showered him with kisses and questions. Mr. Potter smiled and ruffled James's hair affectionately.

Then Sirius, Hermione, and Remus approached and Mrs. Potter said, "Oh! How lovely! It would be just fantastic to have another woman in the house for Christmas, wouldn't it, Charlie?" She looked to her husband with a firm, teasing glare. "_Somebody_ who could help me decorate."

Mr. Potter - Charlie - just smiled and said nothing.

Hermione began, "Mrs. Potter, I would hate to interrupt on your family time -"

"Nonsense!" the older woman declared. "And call me Dorea. Mrs. Potter is Charlus's mother and I'd vastly prefer not to be associated with her. Now, come along, loves! Remus, dear, are you coming with us?"

Remus shook his head. "My dad will be here soon. I'll see you all the day after Christmas, though."

"Good," Dorea said, dropping a kiss to Remus's head. "How have you been, dear?"

"Fine, thank you," Remus said politely.

"I brought you these," Dorea said. She reached into her purse and drew out a Christmas-colored tin with elves and trees on it. She winked. "Your favorite. Share with your father!"

"Thank you! And I will, Dorea," Remus said, but they all knew he wouldn't. Remus had an unhealthy chocolate fixation. "Happy Christmas," he said once more before joining his father across the platform.

"Now!" Dorea said, smiling. "Hermione, James said your name was? Lovely name. You should fit right between the boys in the back of the car. Come along, you three! We've got festivities to plan for!"

...

By Christmas Eve, Hermione had warmed up to the Potter's manor house and the family living there. Dorea taught her how to make, roll-out, and bake cookie dough, twisting them into shapes of the season like candy canes, stars, and angels. Hermione also sat through a lesson on how to glaze a Christmas ham, done with such precision that Severus Snape himself would be impressed with the chemistry and calculating that was put into it.

Mr. Potter didn't speak much, but was warm and sincere without having to. Though a man of few words, he could make you feel welcomed with actions rather than sentiments. And he loved his wife dearly, always brushing his hand over hers or kissing her hair, touching her face. His eyes said it all - she was his world.

It was the kind of looks that every girl imagined getting from her future husband, their own Mr. Perfect.

James and Sirius were hellions, predictably. Storming through the house, yelling and wrestling and breaking things. Dorea would scream until her voice was hoarse and Charlus would box their ears unrepentantly - but not until after taking pictures, of course.

And Sirius was all too happy to continue his holiday cheer with decorating the house worse than he had their dorm and common room. On the afternoon of Christmas Eve, Sirius's festivities had trapped Dorea and Charlus under a sprig of mistletoe, which the resulting passionate kiss perturbed James so completely that he had tackled Sirius. They rolled and punched and brawled until they somehow landed directly in front of the couch Hermione sat on in the parlor while she was reading.

"Boys!" she exclaimed, trying to mimic both Mrs. Weasley and Mrs. Potter. "Stop it!I'm trying to read, you fools!"

"Why are you reading on Christmas?" James panted from his spot, prone on the floor, being pinned down by his wrists and knees.

"A little research, actually," she said, "about the Pagan roots of Yule and how Christians decided to coincide the celebration of the messiah's birth with it."

Pausing in their fighting, James and Sirius exchanged a look.

"Did you understand a word she just said?" Sirius asked.

"No, not at all."

"Good. At least it isn't just me. Plain English, Hermione, if it isn't too much to ask?"

Hermione sighed and said, "if you want me to explain, you'll have to get off of each other and the floor."

"Sounds like a fair trade for a Christmas story," James said, who'd obviously been losing the fight and probably would have said anything for Sirius to just get the hell off him.

They each took a seat on either side and waited for Hermione to continue. Well, James sat and waited - Sirius leaned heavily on her shoulder and played with the frayed hole in her jumper sleeve.

"Well," Hermione said, "the Pagan holiday of Yule is centralized around the winter solstice, the celebrate the birth of the sun. This was celebrated long before Christ's birth."

"I'm a little confused," James said. "Who is this Christ fellow?"

"Jesus, you dope," Sirius said. When Hermione gave Sirius a curious look he shrugged. "I read sometimes. The Bible is full of interesting stories."

"Well... yes, Sirius, you're right. Jesus, the Christians' messiah and savior, a Jew said to be born of a virgin. So he was born, and we celebrate his birth in December, but historically he was born somewhere in April."

"Why December, then?" Sirius inquired.

Hermione shrugged. "Honestly? The Christians sort of... copied the Pagans, sort of in the hope that they'd influence them - 'heathens', they'd call them. Saint Augustine encouraged that the Christians honor 'he who made the sun, not the sun itself'."

"Interesting..." James mused. "So the Christians were being copycats."

"Indeed," Hermione said. "But I think the Church is slightly more... accepting now. At least, I'd hope. My parents... _are_ Christian. Catholic, the be precise. And they don't carry any grudge against other belief systems."

"That's nice," James noted.

Hermione nodded and smiled. "I think its part of why they were so accepting when we found out I was a witch."

"Hmm," Sirius hummed. "So... why do we, as witches and wizards celebrate Christmas if it technically belongs to the Muggle Christians?"

"Because its fun, of course," James said with a smile.

"True," Hermione said with a shrug and grin. "And I have a theory that St. Nicholas was a wizard, but its yet to be confirmed."

"I thought that was a given?" James said, brow furrowed. "After all, how else is he supposed to make it around the world in one night?"

"The time difference, duh," Sirius shot back.

"You both know that Father Christmas isn't real, right? And that St. Nick died a very long time ago?"

Sirius and James both laughed as they stood from the couch, each patting Hermione's head and shoulders before scoffing, in unison, "Muggles!" And they left the room.

"Wait... that didn't answer my question," Hermione said with a huff, watching them head for the kitchen.

...~oOo~...

Sirius liked to watch Hermione. Not in his old stalking and creeping way, but in a way that he knew she probably noticed when they shared a room. The Potters had a few friends over that evening for Christmas Eve and the adults were passing around hefty amounts of eggnog while Sirius leaned against a wall, not far from James who was terrorizing a younger cousin of his, and watched Hermione across the way.

She sat at a table in the Potters' "recreational room" - their word for ballroom - staring at a full cup of cider expressionlessly. He wondered if she thinking about home - France - with her parents and her Muggle traditions.

He wondered if maybe she'd have had more fun at Hogwarts, considering the lost, empty look she wore.

She really was pretty, though. She was wearing a red dress from Dorea's younger days that had been magically altered to fit Hermione like a glove. It went to her knees and had long sleeves and a neckline that scooped daringly, but was modest thanks to her... smaller bust. On the busty Dorea the dress would have been scandalous, on Hermione is was borderline conservative. Hermione's hair was twisted into a barely constrained chignon with curls popping out of the pins every few minutes.

Sirius decided it was time to use charm to cheer her up. It was the holidays, after all! It was a time for merriment and drinking and nonsense and gifts!

Walking over, as he got closer, he saw that in Hermione's lap sat Dandelion, curled tightly against the girl's stomach and sleeping peacefully. He smiled and gave himself a mental pat on the back for such an awesome gift.

"So, what does a boy do," Sirius said, "when he sees a girl sitting alone at a table at a party, staring quite morosely at a glass of nog?"

Hermione gave a start, yanked out of her reverie and looked at Sirius for a moment before smirking. "Well, if said boy and girl were Sirius Black and Hermione Granger respectively, the boy would probably blow something up or humiliate her in someway. Or find a way to trap her under some mistletoe."

"It's like you're in my head." Sirius smiled and sat down next to her. "So, what kind of things do you do with your family this time of year?"

Hermione's eyes brightened. "All sorts of things. Decorate the tree, play Secret Santa, go caroling, ice skating, and go to Midnight Mass - which was so beautiful with all the candles and the bells and the choir."

Sirius was happy to see the spark of life in Hermione's eyes as she went on to tell a story about a time that they'd gone caroling and her cousin Penny had slipped on the road and fallen on her bum, making everyone laugh, including the neighbors.

"Sounds like fun," Sirius said.

Hermione nodded. "It was. I haven't done it in years though. The last few Christmases I spent with friends," she reported with a touch of sadness. She sighed and shrugged. "I should have spent more time with mum and dad."

Sirius hesitated before observing, "You always talk about your parents like... like you can never see them again. Always the past tense."

Hermione sighed again and said, "Can you keep a secret?"

Sirius nodded.

"They're gone," she whispered, and didn't elaborate more than that. And with the tears brimming in her eyes, Sirius didn't feel he needed to pry further. He made his own conjecture and slowly reached out to place a hand on her shoulder. Crying girls freaked him out.

"I'm sorry," he said gently. "It'll be okay, though."

Shaking her head and rubbing at the tears, Hermione said, "I don't think it will be, Sirius." She sounded calm, but also resigned - like she had come to terms with the fact she things would be bad.

"If it isn't..." he said slowly, "I promise I'll try to make it okay, alright? After all, I'm not going anyway."

Hermione snorted. "I've noticed that. Can't get rid of you."

"See? I'm like a stray puppy. Nothing short of death will keep me away. Hell, even if I died, I'd come back as a ghost purely to annoy you." Sirius took Hermione's hand in his and said, "Now, come on, I've got something to cheer you up."

...

Sirius led Hermione to the Potters' library. It was dim and the picture windows displayed the night sky, dazzling brilliantly with stars and a big, curved moon shimmering like silver.

Hermione laughed when she saw where he brought her. "Sirius, I've been in here nonstop for the last two days. What do you have to show me?"

"This," he said. He held out his hand and in it was a little flower - a dandelion. "After all," he went on, "you still have to reimburse me for all of those flowers." He ducked to kiss her, but Hermione took a step away.

"Sirius..."

He huffed. Why couldn't she just enjoy their kisses? Why did she always have to be so reserved and standoffish. "What?"

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to kiss you."

"But why?" she asked, exasperated. "I don't get it! We're friends, aren't we?"

"Of course we are," Sirius answered. "I wouldn't have this awesome bow-tie if we weren't. Don't you see? You understand me, Hermione. You know what I like and I don't like - like how I love bow ties and hate snakes. And I like kissing you - and from your past responses you like kissing me."

"The first time you kissed me," Hermione said firmly, "I stood there, waiting for it to be over."

"But when I kissed you the other day, under the mistletoe," he pointed out, "you kissed me back. And you smiled, I could feel you. Admit it - you like kissing me!"

"Fine! I do! But that doesn't mean anything!"

"It does!" Sirius countered, reaching out and cupping his hands around her shoulders, bending down to look her in the eyes. "We're good together, Hermione. As a matter of fact, we're fantastic. We can talk for hours and laugh and fight and kiss and still want to be around each other. This, between us, it could work."

"What are you saying?" Hermione demanded, bewildered.

"Hermione Granger," Sirius said with a deep breath. "Will you... could you consider... exploring this magnetism between us? I want to be with you Hermione - for real."

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What do you think Hermione's answer will be? 3. What's your favorite winter holidays tradition?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	17. An Article

A/N. Sorry about the delay, of course. Again, I have a good excuse (I think): Hurricane Sandy X_X I lost power for days. It was terrible.

And before you get confused, yes, there has been a tiny time jump in the story. Christmas holiday is over, and everything WILL be explained.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Seventeen: An Article

The only sounds in the aisle were the ticking of the clock, the rubbing of parchment, and breathing. But the silence was vastly louder than the clock, the parchment, or their lungs. It hung on them like a cloak and rang in their ears. It would have been less disruptive if Sirius was on one of his high-on-life moods where he could destroy a small country on his own.

And Hermione was overwhelmingly aware of Sirius staring at her.

Hermione tried shifting her movement, crossing and re-crossing her legs, tucking her hair behind her ear, and sighing. Nothing made his stare comfortable. Sirius never shifted once, which made Hermione consider the likelihood that he was inhuman, because no one besides statues and Muggle photographs sat that still.

It wasn't the hard, unforgiving glare that she'd been graced with when they'd first met. It was an intense, observing stare that had no specific sort of emotion, but remind Hermione of... well, a curious puppy.

Finally, after a full twenty-five minutes of the ridiculous silence and staring, Hermione let out a long sigh and set the book down on the table in front of her.

Sirius who was sitting next to her, unnecessarily close, didn't so much as flinch, but waited patiently for her to say something.

"Sirius, what exactly are you doing?" she finally inquired.

"You specifically said that I had to allow you ample studying time," he explained.

"Yes, but when I said that, I didn't mean you had to be here. With me. Watching me."

"I know."

With a long breath, Hermione rubbed her forehead and chuckled, a little incredulous. "Oh, you remind me of Viktor," she said, quietly, mostly to herself.

Raising a dark eyebrow, Sirius asked with rapid fire, "Who's Viktor? Is he your French Boy? Did he watch you often? Does he still? Because I can take care of him if -"

"He's no one," she said quickly, waving him off. "A boy I used to know."

"What kind of boy?"

"If you must know, he asked me to a dance. And he used to watch me study, much like you were."

"Sounds like a weirdo."

Hermione laughed.

"Good thing you've got me now, right?" he said, sounding eager for approval, again much like a puppy. "Because I'm not a weirdo. Or at least, I am, but within reason... Okay, that was a lie. Not within reason. But I'm the kind of weirdo that grows on you and is lovable and you want to snog senseless right now."

"Is that a sneaky way of asking me to snog? Right now?"

"Not at all. But, hey, if you're interested..."

"Sirius, I'm studying."

"Are you? Because I was under the impression you were discussing with your wonderful boyfriend about weirdos and how much you wanted to kiss him in the stacks like in every bookworm sexually repressed, naughty dream you've had of him - or rather, me, as it were."

"You're making no sense again, Sirius," Hermione told him.

"Well, the oxygen is sort of being cut off from my brain," he explained. "Because I really want to kiss you, and until I do, all those little oxygen thingies in my blood refuse to move north. It's a condition, really. It's called oxygenthingies-sexygirlfriend-hytosis... or some such."

"Don't you have friends?"

"No. What kind of ridiculous notion is that?"

Hermione realized then that she was going to get nowhere in her studying ventures and stood up to move to the proper shelf and slip the text back into place. "You do realize that Remus and Peter are feeling neglected, don't you?"

"At this present time I refuse to acknowledge the existence of anyone names Peter, Remus, or James."

"I didn't say anything about James -"

"Who?"

"James!"

"I don't know who you're talking about."

"Ugh!" Hermione exclaimed, tossing her hands in the air.

"You look stressed," Sirius said, standing right in front of her, barely two inches between their chests. Sirius had no respect personal boundaries. At all.

"As a matter of fact, I am," Hermione said. "I have a knot in my back. Its name is Sirius Orion Black."

"The Third."

"Of course, The Third. How could I have forgotten?"

"You know, most girls are turned on my titles and impressive family lineage and whatnot," Sirius said, inching ever closer, his eyes locked on hers. "But you don't. It's sort of what makes me absolutely adore you."

"Your family tree actually disgusts me."

"Me too," he murmured. "I'm going to kiss you now."

Hermione's eyes darted nervously left and right, looking at both ends of the book aisle. The library had been mostly empty when they'd entered, but with Madam Pince running around...

"Right now?" she inquired weakly. "Here?"

"Mhmm," he hummed. And he kissed her.

It took a count of five seconds for Hermione to melt from her rigidness and slowly, anxiously relax into Sirius's kiss. She closed her eyes, trying to tell herself that she wasn't crazy. Resting her hands on his chest lightly, she had to actively tell herself that she wasn't breaking any kind of time travel rules - even if she knew she was.

Sirius was Harry's godfather, a man that Hermione admired, and a man who treated her like a niece he was fond of. Not a boy who tongue should be outlining her lips deliciously, begging for entrance to her mouth. But there they were, and boy, was she granting.

A small shiver rolled through her when the tip of his tongue touched hers, tentative and sweet. He tasted, strangely enough, like licorice. Hermione didn't even particularly like licorice, but on Sirius's tongue it was probably her favorite taste. One of Sirius's hands was pressed against the small of her back, his thumb drawing slow, beckoning circles, and his other was cradling the side of her neck and tipping her head back.

"Mmm," Hermione murmured into his mouth. At the same time that the kiss melted her, it built something up inside of her - an energy she wasn't sure what to do with, but made her want to laugh or gasp or run in circles.

And then Sirius expertly closed the kiss and drew his lips from hers, much to Hermione's mixture of disappointment and relief.

"So..." Sirius said quietly. "Studying?"

Blushing, Hermione said, "Um... yes. Studying. But, uh... I'm going to go find... Sirius - I mean, Remus! Yes... Remus..."

With a satisfied smirk, Sirius said, "You'd think after a month of being together you'd stop being so damned flustered every time we kiss. But I admit, I rather like it when you're out of sorts. It gives me hope."

"Hope for what?" Hermione asked, her cheeks burning a bright pink.

Sirius bent down and whispered, "Hope that such a prudish and straight-laced girl such as yourself could someday... lose control."

...~oOo~...

_Love is in the Air_

_by X.L._

_St. Valentine's Day is nearly upon us and the air is thick with attraction and anticipation. Who will be asking whom to Hogsmeade? Who will be caught snogging behind being the suits of armor by Mrs. Norris? Who will be left sorely disappointed and rejected in the common rooms while everyone else is out having fun and being loved?_

_The strangest of couples have crawled from the stonework this year, ladies and gentlemen, along with a few interesting pairs who are making eyes at each other but don't have the courage to make the move (ahem, Anna and Tertius from Hufflepuff). But I find myself quite proud of the progress from little girls and boys with crushes to courting men and women that we've made in only the last year. _

_A prime example of this transition would be none other than our very own Head Boy and Girl, James Potter and Lily Evans [respectively, in the left photo] who have been dating for about three months now! Did any of us see it coming? I can't say I did - perhaps my misinterpretation was somehow brought on by Evans's constant berating and utter disdain for Potter, but I have been known for my inability to read a room. _

_I met with strapping young Quidditch Captain Potter to get a few of the details straight. What exactly convinced her that he wasn't just the big-headed narcissist that we all thought him to be?_

_"I was very suave about it," Potter boasted, ruffling his hair (something he does curiously often, don't you think?) "Just went up to her, see, and asked her out. Guess the whole giant productions in front of the whole school thing wasn't for her, eh? Then we went on a very romantic date at Madame Puddifoot's. And then we snogged, see and -"_

_Unfortunately at that moment Evans decided to smack him over the mouth and added her own two knuts. "I did no such thing with him. I'm a lady after all, not a slag."_

_There you have it, Hogwarts. Lily Evans: Lady, Not A Slag. _

_Another interesting coupled that no one - and I mean, NO ONE - anticipated was Sirius Black and Hermione Granger. I'm sure everyone is familiar with the Stuck In Potions incident, as its been named, or about the Great Pranking War between the self-proclaimed Marauders and the Gryffindor girls. It was led by the two lovebirds who at the time we all expected to tear each other's throats out before getting within a foot radius of the other. _

_Well, it isn't a rumor folks. They really are dating! Sirius Black confirmed it - and then the more reliable source, friend Remus Lupin, secondly confirmed it (after all, Sirius is known for his... elaborations. None of us ever really believed that he spent a passionate evening with Deputy Headmistress McGonagall, despite his insistence). _

_When Granger was asked about it, she'd mumbled something about studying and ran away. Studying Anatomy, perhaps? Black's anatomy, that is? _

_But, of course, Black was eager as ever to talk on the subject. "I'd always been enamored with her, no doubt about it. She was just difficult about it. Didn't know she wanted me, see? [Insert famous Black wink here] But she came to her sense soon enough. All it took was a few little flowery sentiments and a whole lot of... well it wasn't 'begging', it was more like... urging? Persuading? Asking every hour? It took all of the Christmas holiday to get her to agree. Most stubborn bird I've ever met..."_

_And he went on. It got rather boring, actually. Hermione, upon hearing about the interview Sirius gave, proclaimed, "He told you all of that? No! No no no! Where is that boy? SIRIUS!" And marched away. Someone was denied loving for the rest of that day. _

_Ooh, scandal. _

_[See page 3 for the rest of this story under LOVE]_

_..._

Hermione let out a relieved sigh. Thank goodness the Hogwarts Enquirer hadn't published the entirety of Sirius's nonsense - that would have been embarrassing. The boy just didn't know when to stop talking.

Hermione jumped when she felt the kiss being pressed to the back of her neck. It was the day before Valentine's Day and Hermione had the suspicion that Sirius was planning something obnoxiously big.

As he dropped down into the seat beside her at breakfast, Hermione decided it was time to talk to him. "Sirius, I need to tell you something."

"Yes?" he asked sleepily, spooning hash onto his plate with a lot of bacon. An obscene amount of bacon.

"Whatever you have planned for the certain romantic holiday approaching, I'd really rather you... not."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What holiday?"

"You know... it's February?"

"Yes... and? April Fool's day isn't for another two months."

Hermione put the school's paper down and took a deep breath. "The holiday with all the pink and red hearts? And the kissing and the baby with a bow and arrow?"

Sirius's face was completely blank.

"Valentine's Day!" Hermione finally half-exploded.

"Oh!" Sirius exclaimed, his eyes popping open wide. "Oh! Oh, God, I forgot about that. I'm sorry, 'Mione, I didn't remember that it was coming up at all and I... What day is it exactly?"

Even though Hermione hadn't wanted him to explode flying flowers in the Great Hall with their initials inside a heart, Hermione's heart gave a little drop. Maybe she'd wanted just a little bit of acknowledgment for the holiday...

"It's tomorrow," Hermione informed him.

"Shite," Sirius hissed, smacking himself in the forehead. "Merlin, I'm sorry, Hermione. I didn't plan anything or go out for anything. But that's okay! We'll celebrate this weekend and I'll have things planned and -"

"No, no," Hermione said, shaking her head with a small blush. How silly had she been for just assuming Sirius would go over the top, or even think of it at all? They'd only been together for a little over a month. "That's not necessary. I've never really liked Valentine's Day anyway."

Sirius paused before saying, "Are you sure?"

Nodding, Hermione forced a smile onto her face and said, "I'm sure."

"Okay, as long as you're sure." He bent over and pecked her lips lightly. "I actually need to get some of that homework I've been neglecting done tomorrow, otherwise Slughorn will be pissed - or at least as pissed as that loopy old man can be."

"Do you need any help?" Hermione asked.

"Nah," Sirius said with a shrug. "I'm pretty fantastic at Potions actually."

"Any Muggle Studies work then?"

"None. Finished it last night."

Hermione hid a frown. "Oh."

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. How do you like the Hogwarts Enquirer article? Any guesses as to who the writer was? (pretty obvious, I know) 3. What will Hermione do for Valentine's Day now that Sirius has forgotten?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	18. Two Rows and a Lock of Hair

A/N. Today I went to Chapel, so I feel considerably better about myself. Sometimes reflection and worship can bring peace in the most stressful of times. No matter what religion you are - Christian, Jewish, Wiccan, Buddhist - sometimes taking time to just thank the universe or whatever god you pray to is all you need to make a bland day wonderful.

Those are my words of wisdom for the day.

PS - I'm taking a few liberties. The Ghostbusters came out in 1984. I'm making it turn up a few years sooner. I just couldn't not use the pun (you'll see).

...~oOo~...

Chapter Eighteen: Two Rows and a Lock of Hair

"Some friends you three are!" Sirius Black exploded when he barreled through their dormitory door.

Remus was lying across his bed with a book, his legs crossed neatly, while James and Peter sat across from one another on the latter's bed, with scissors and papers and things.

"What did we do now?" Remus inquired, turning the page of his book.

"Why didn't any of you tell my bleeding Valentine's Day is tomorrow?" he demanded, kicking one of Remus's bedposts in frustration.

"We thought all the hearts and Cupids handing about would have clued you in," James said, sounding slightly too amused for Sirius's taste.

In reality, Sirius was oblivious to things like changes in decoration unless it had to do with Christmas - otherwise, it went unnoticed. Especially since his focus had been solely on Hermione for the past few weeks, so things like upcoming events sort of flew under the radar.

For Sirius Black, over the years, Valentine's Day became that one day a year where he received mountains worth of chocolates laced with Amortentia. Sure, he got to revisit his growing stuffed animal collection and snog about three willing girls every hour, but it came and went without Sirius having any special feelings for it. He usually didn't even see it coming until he woke up with masses of cards and presents wrapped in pink on his bedside.

"Please," Sirius scoffed. "I don't pay attention to stupid things like that. But now I've forgotten and I don't have any bloody time to get Hermione something!"

"Does Hermione know you forgot?" James asked, suddenly getting serious.

"Um..."

"You idiot! Never let your girlfriend know you forget a special occasion!" James declared urgently, bouncing up from the bed. "Now there's collateral damage you have to deal with - suppressed anger, silent treatments, and for the rest of your relationship, every time you fight, she will undoubtedly bring up the fact that you forgot Valentine's Day!" James took his friend by the shoulder and shook Sirius hard. "Do you see the hole you've dug for yourself, mate?!"

"B-but... she said it wasn't a big deal! She said she didn't like Valentine's Day anyway!" Sirius said, grabbing at straws now that he realized how terrible this could potentially be.

All three boys - Remus, James, and Peter - all groaned in unison.

"They always say that," James said with dire earnest. "It's Phase One of the Suppressed Anger. It's classic passive aggressiveness. _This_ is what happens, Pads, when you just _shag_ _girls_ and have _no experience with real relationships_!"

"Really, mate, even I knew this," Remus said nonchalantly, turning to the next page of his book.

"Even Peter is doing his duty as a Gryffindor bachelor and making an ample amount of Valentines to avoid such conflicts!" James gestured at Peter, who was concentrating so hard on cutting the paper into a perfect heart, that his tongue stuck out of his mouth and his eyes were crossed.

"What do I do then?" Sirius demanded, feeling the panic coming on. The room was getting hot. "I worked way too long and way too hard to get Hermione to date me for all of it to go up in smoke because of one stupid, bloody holiday!"

James was pacing, rubbing his jaw. "Okay... okay, there might be some redemption for you yet... But it would take a lot of manpower and a whole lot of rule breaking."

"Prongs, that's what the Marauders are made for," Sirius said. "Manliness and mischief. Now what do I do, dammit?!"

"Okay... okay, okay... If we had the Map this would be easier, but... we might be able to do this. There's one little catch, though."

"What is it?"

"Even with all four of us... we're going to have to call in some back-up."

"I don't remember Peter or I agreeing to this," Remus pointed out.

"Belt it, Moony, you're helping. You too Wormtail?"

"Of course we are," Peter said, always a good sport. Even though he'd been understandably disgruntled when it turned out Sirius was dating Hermione... after all, hadn't Sirius been the one to come up with the Code, anyway? But Peter, like a good friend, said nothing but congratulations and decided to move on. He had a big crush on one of the Hufflepuff girls, anyway. "But the back-up... Who are we going to call?"

"Ghostbusters?" Sirius readily supplied.

James said, "Someone with more strength, intelligence, and determination than all the Ghostbusters combined."

...

"So tell me again why I should help you?" Lily asked, rolling her eyes and pouring herself tea in the Heads' common room.

"Because you're Hermione's friend, and do you want her to have a good first Valentine's Day with her boyfriend or not?" James said bluntly, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

The Marauders all stood in front of the redhead, who'd just wanted to finish her homework in peace, but lost all chances of doing so the second the Fearsome Four walked through the portrait.

Lily said, "Maybe it'd be better if you botched this. Then Hermione can see what a creep Sirius is and understand how much better she could do."

"Oi!" Sirius snapped.

"It's true! I was so happy when I heard about her fancying Zubko - he's smart, handsome, and not some mischief maker who never cuts his hair!" Lily said assertively, stirring her tea in a way that meant business.

"Let me make one thing clear, Evans!" Sirius said, stepping in front of James to face Lily head on. James looked terrified and opened his mouth to warn Sirius that he was making a grave mistake, but Sirius cut him off. "I may not cut my hair and I may think putting a whoopie cushion on Dumbledore's seat in the Great Hall is a fantastically hilarious idea, but I _am _smart and I _am_ handsome and I treat Hermione exceptionally well for someone who's never had a real girlfriend before! I protect her and ruffle her feathers and I make her toes curl, so don't you think for one damned minute that Mr. My Abs Have Abs would have been better for her! Because I am the best for Hermione, and she's the best for me, and that's that!"

Everyone stared at Sirius, astonished. It was the closest thing to sincerity they'd ever heard him say, and definitely the first time he hadn't known better than to stand up to Lily.

After a long, drawn out and tense pause, Lily said, "Fine. I'll help. What do you need me to do?"

...~oOo~...

"Can you believe some boys?" Alice huffed the next morning as they walked to breakfast. "Frank, that stupid boy, didn't even send me a card! A card! All it had to say was 'Happy Valentine's Day! From, Frank', but no! Ugh!"

"Well, at least your boyfriend didn't forget about it and then suddenly decide to stop being a slacker and do his homework," Hermione said, though there was no energy or malice in it. She sounded faint and tired. "Although, I suppose to some degree, I should be proud. That he's doing his work."

"I'm sorry, Hermione," Alice said, patting her shoulder. "If it makes you feel better, he's bound to be in quite the predicament when he eats those laced chocolates that all the girls give him."

Hermione rose an eyebrow. "Laced... chocolates?"

"Oh, yes. Every year, dozens of girls send Sirius chocolates filled with Love Potions," Alice said with a chuckle. "I admit, I even tried myself as a Third Year. Since then he's been careful about what he does eat from his gifts, but he might always make a mistake."

Hermione groaned. "Now I have to worry about Sirius being drugged into falling in love with another girl." She tucked her hands under her arms and shrugged. "I suppose I had it coming, dating Sirius Black. I knew this was all a big mistake. He's just to... adored. And I'm not. Although, I did get one Valentine when I woke up."

"From who?"

Hermione smirked. "From Peter, believe it or not. It was very sweet and had a poem inside. 'Roses are red, violets are blue! I hope you have a lovely Valentines day, now toodaloo!' It was very cute."

"You mean... you only got one card?"

"Well, yes," Hermione said. "And you got one as well, the one from me, correct?"

"No, no," Alice said. "I didn't get one from Frank, but I got seven this morning. Even I sent one out to all the Gryffindor girls, I wonder why you didn't get yours? I got the one from you."

"Curious," Hermione said, but shrugged. "It's alright, though. I don't mind. I've never been one for Valentine's Day anyway."

"But you have a boyfriend now!" Alice said as they walked through the Great Hall's threshold. "You're supposed to be showered with gifts and kisses and be waltzed around like a princess!"

"Sirius isn't big on the whole prince and princess thing," Hermione said. "He's much more interested in planting a whoopie cushion on my Potions seat."

"Sounds like an... interesting relationship," Alice said tentatively.

"You have no idea. The other day he tricked me into eating a jelly bean that turned my hair orange."

"YOU, JAMES POTTER, HAVE A LOT OF BLOODY NERVE, YOU KNOW THAT?"

Hermione and Alice both stopped short at Lily's screeching in the very center of the Great Hall. James's face was bright red with chagrin while Lily's was bright red with fury.

"AND YOU WONDER WHY I NEVER LIKED YOU!" Lily went on. "THE ONE DAY OF THE YEAR - THE ONLY ONE - WHERE I CAN ACTUALLY EXPECT PRETTY AND ROMANTIC THINGS FROM MY BOYFRIEND AND I WAS FOOLISH TO THINK THAT NOT EVEN JAMES POTTER HIMSELF COULD COCK IT UP - BUT APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG!"

"But, Lily, I told you!" James said, looked distressed and a little like he was going to throw up. "We have all day to celebrate - it's only tonight that the boys and I want to -"

"PLAY BLOODY QUIDDITCH, YES, I HEARD YOU!" Lily shrieked. "YOU CAN PLAY QUIDDITCH ANY OTHER DAY OF THE YEAR, AND YOU FOUR PICK TODAY?!"

"Jeez, Lily, don't have an aneurism," Sirius drawled from his seat next to James.

"You shut it, Black! This is YOUR fault, isn't it?!"

Offended and looking shocked, Sirius said, "How is it my fault?"

"YOU forget the holiday and YOU and Hermione decide not to celebrate and YOU put it into all of your friends' heads that it's bloody OKAY to DITCH THEIR GIRLFRIENDS ON VALENTINE'S DAY!"

"Peter and Remus don't have girlfriends," James said, "and we thought it'd be nice to spend some time together since -"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT POTTER!" Lily screamed before spinning around in a flurry of Gryffindor robes and red hair to march out of the Great Hall. It was an impressive, regal exit that had everyone staring with a mixture of admiration and terror. No one would dare cross the Head Girl for the rest of the day.

"What just happened?" Hermione asked, hurrying up to the Marauders.

They all looked shellshocked.

"Lily... well..." James cleared his throat. "Apparently, she doesn't approve of the boys and I playing some Quidditch tonight after supper."

"And why are you playing Quidditch on Valentine's Day?" Alice demanded, hands on hips.

"Remus and Peter don't have girlfriends," James said, "and we didn't just want to abandon them for the rest of the day. We wanted to hang out so that they don't eat themselves into oblivion."

"I had no idea Lily felt so strongly about Valentine's Day," Hermione said, brow furrowed.

"Neither did I," Alice said.

"Well, girls will be girls, and all that," Sirius said dismissively. He hopped from his seat and kissed Hermione on the cheek. "Forget the banshee that just blew through hear like a hurricane. Let's eat, shall we?"

"No, I better go see she isn't tearing down Gryffindor Tower," Hermione said. "I'll see you - well, I may not... I will, hopefully, at supper, though." She gave Sirius a quick smile and then followed Lily's path out, only significantly calmer.

Alice's eyes scanned over the four boys suspiciously. "You have something up your sleeves. I can tell."

"Not at all," Sirius said with ease. "We are, for once, totally innocent."

...

"Trent," Sirius growled. "Who the fuck is trent and why is he sending my girlfriend a Valentine?" Sirius threw the card down onto his bed with the rest of the stack of Hermione's Valentines. "Who are these guys? And why... No. Nonono! FUCKING ZUBKO, I'LL KILL YOU!" Sirius's hands wrapped tightly around the little pink teddy bear's throat, shaking it like he imagined he would Zubko.

Peter said, "Are you sure it was a good idea to take all of her cards and things, Padfoot?"

"Of course I'm sure!" Sirius said, pitching the stuffed bear across the room and into the lamp on the dresser. The lamp tumbled to the ground and none of the boys made a move to pick it up. "I need to know what kind of blokes are sending Hermione things. It's practically my job. But there are a suspiciously large amount of gifts from females in here."

"Maybe Hermione is a lesbian and that's why she was so reluctant to go out with you?" James said, unhelpfully.

Sirius paused, thinking this through. "Nah. Probably not. I mean, the girl blushes whenever I reach for her hand, imagine her reaction if a girl did that, or like how she won't ever let me unbutton her... Oh _God_, my girlfriend is a lesbian," Sirius deadpanned.

Remus laughed at that and Sirius chucked one of his own tainted candies at Remus's face.

"It isn't funny!" Sirius snapped.

"Actually, it kind of is," Peter joined in on the chuckling.

"Stop it," James said, "both of you. Hermione isn't a lesbian. Which, even if she were, that's alright - because its incredibly hot. But Hermione likes Sirius. Who is a boy."

"Are we sure about that?" Remus taunted.

"That's it!" Sirius snapped. "Now you're asking for it!" And he leaped across his bed to tackle Remus to the ground where he stood. The two brawled and punched and kicked, Remus having a jolly good time laughing, and Sirius huffing and swearing.

James and Peter exchanged looks, silently doing the mental form of Stone Parchment Shears. It was Peter's loss apparently.

"Come on, you two," Peter said meekly, getting closer but not close enough to fall into the row. "We've got lots to do! Stop it... please!"

With a sigh, James came to terms with the fact that Peter was doing absolutely nothing, and launched himself right into the middle of the fight, grabbing both boys by the backs of their shirts and tearing them apart with what he called his Quidditch muscles.

"You!" James said, pointing at Sirius. "Go back to invading your girlfriend's privacy! And you, Moony! Go read a book or something!"

Remus just snickered and did as he told while Sirius continued to fume, but went back to his bed anyway. The room remained silent for a bit more while they all went through their gifts and made their own.

"Oh! Padfoot, I think... ew... I think this one is for you..." Peter said with a scrunched-up nose, looking down at the card in his hands. "Sorry, mate, I just opened it and... well, it's from Marlene, I think." Slowly, Peter stood up and walked over to place the envelope in Sirius's lap.

"What's got you so freaked out?" James asked. "Are there nudie pictures in there?" He craned his neck to see.

"No," Sirius sighed. "Just a lock of her hair." And he held up said lock, curly and blonde and held together with a blue ribbon.

Remus and James both made identical disgusted expressions. James said, "What the fuck?" at the same time Remus said, "Ew."

"Would you believe me if I said this isn't the first time a girl has sent me a piece of her hair?" Sirius said, shaking his head and dropping the lock like a dead rat into his bedside drawer. "They all think its romantic or some nonsense. In Victorian England, a young lady would give her suitor a lock of hair as a token. But when you send it in the post nowadays, it's just creepy."

All the boys had to agree on that.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What do the boys have planned? 3. What part will Lily play in all of it?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	19. Enchanted

A/N. I have, again, gotten quite a few reviews and messages concerning my sign-off of "So Long And Thanks For All The Fish" and I will explain once more for all of you who don't know.

I am a nerd. A nerd who loves-loves-loves the book series AND movie Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. In this book series/movie (the movie of which stars the voice talents of beloved Alan Rickman, who voices a clinically depressed robot), it is made clear that dolphins are the second most intelligent life forms on Earth - and when they depart before the end of the world, they leave us with one message: So long, and thanks for all the fish. And I just happen to be a big enough nerd to incorporate H2G2 into everything.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Nineteen: Enchanted

"Happy Valentine's Day, Severus," Hermione said with a smile, holding out the pink, heart-shaped paper she'd made. Fastened to the bottom of it was a Chocolate Frog case. What boy didn't love chocolate, right?

Staring at the card in her hands for a long minute, Severus Snape considered the consequences. Worst case scenario: It is a legitimately and disgustingly adorable from a girl that he barely tolerated. Best case scenario: Black had something to do with it and when Severus opened it, it would explode, thus resulting in his death, thus making it so he wouldn't have to deal with sentimental Gryffindors ever again.

And as he accepted the card and opened it, Severus concluded he would never be lucky.

Inside was a dancing illustration of a kitten - a kitten, for Christ's sake - dancing around the page with a big, kitten smile and a little Valentine's greetings that made him want to vomit. On the back of the card was a Chocolate Frog...

Okay, so the Chocolate Frog was tolerable, he supposed.

"I hope you aren't expecting something in return," Severus said as he plucked the pentagonal Frog box from the back and opening it. "Because I don't have it."

"Believe it or not, Severus, not everyone in the world expects something in return when they do something nice."

"I don't believe that."

Hermione sighed. "Regardless of your cynicism, I hope you have a lovely day."

Severus only glared in response as Hermione walked away.

...~oOo~...

Hermione's stomach growled. She sat in her dorm room while the rest of her roommates were off celebrating before supper. Hermione looked over at the clock and found it to be a full hour before dinner.

Then why was she so starved? The day was just dragging out, feeling almost twice as long as it should have been. If it wasn't enough that she was lonely and sad, the day didn't even have the decency to end.

Looking out the window, Hermione wondered if a storm was coming. It was getting rather dim, but when she looked in the sky there were only a few clouds.

Deciding that she'd had enough reading alone in her bedroom, she was going to go out and find Alice. Lily was probably soaking up every last minute of Valentine's with James before he ditched her for Quidditch, but Alice would most assuredly be open to conversation with Hermione.

When Hermione made her way to the common room, a mass of students were making their way in, all laughing and smiling and glowing. Alice was among them, and Hermione approached her to ask what everyone was returning from, but Alice beat her to it.

"Hermione, we missed you at dinner," Alice said, her large brown eyes tinged with concern. "Are you feeling well?"

"Dinner?" Hermione inquired. "Dinner isn't for another hour!"

Brow furrowed and perplexed, Alice replied, "I'm afraid not, Hermione. Dinner just ended. Do you have a fever? You should go to the Infirmary -"

"Hermione! Hermione, Hermione!" a voice cut through Alice's words. "You need to get a bloody handle on that boy of yours!" Lily's face was as red as her hair and she looked absolutely frazzled.

"What did Sirius do, Lily?" Hermione asked, feeling out-of-sorts. Dinner was over? Had she become _that _consumed with her reading? But her clock had said differently!

"He had the nerve - the NERVE to - ugh! I can't even, Hermione, I can't!"

"You're not making much sense, Lily," Alice said slowly. "And Hermione is ill, perhaps we should go see Madame Pomfrey and -"

"I'm fine, Alice," Hermione assured her friend. "Just a bit... confused. Lily, did Sirius do something more wrong than usual?"

"Yes! All that with Quidditch and the stupid, bloody! Ugh! Hermione, I really, really, I can't even!" Lily ranted for what felt like the thousandth time.

Biting her lip, Hermione considered what kind of terrible things Sirius could have done to make Lily this furious. Must have been... Oh, Hermione didn't even want to imagine the caliber of awful that Sirius was capable of.

"Perhaps I should go speak to him and find out what he's done," Hermione said. "If you're so upset, Lily, you shouldn't have to talk about it. I'll get the whole story from him."

Lily was swearing, fuming, grumbling to herself.

"If it's after supper... then the boys are up at the Quidditch pitch, aren't they?" Hermione asked.

"Right you bloody are!" Lily snapped.

"Then I'll be back soon," Hermione said. "I'll just go grab my coat. I'll fix everything, Lily, don't worry." Jogging back up to her room, Hermione slid into her cardigan and her peacoat and was tugging on her hat as she left the common room where Alice was still consoling Lily.

The minutes Hermione stepped out of the castle, she was irate with the the boys herself. Of course they chose the middle of February in Scotland to play some nighttime Quidditch. It was freezing. She needed to make this a quick scolding before retreating back into the warmth of Gryffindor Tower.

Hermione moved quickly across the grounds of Hogwarts, the light visibly dimming in the sky as she moved. It was twilight when she left the castle and the moon was high in the sky and bright in the blackness by the time she even saw the pitch.

Hermione saw that the torches around the pitch were lit and knew she'd found the Marauders, but curiously didn't hear then shouting, swearing, or cheering. Must have been an intense point in their match. She marched up the hill to the arena and stepped right between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin columns and onto the field, ready to do some hollering.

But instead the breath was stolen from her lungs.

Not a single broom graced the air, and most of the Marauders were absent. Directly in the center of the Quidditch pitch, instead of Quaffles and Bludgers, was a little round table with two chairs, a bouquet of flowers, and Sirius Black in a flawless. All around the scene floated candles and little fluttering heart-shapped paper butterflies. The flowers in the vase at the center were a collection of wildflowers and dandelions.

As a matter of fact, the entire pitch was absolutely covered in newly bloomed dandelions, except for a single clear patch from where she stood on the edge of the ovular arena to the table.

There was an abrupt, scary flash and Hermione blinked rapidly. Standing on the sidelines, Remus grinned from over a camera that had just captured Hermione's no-doubt confounded expression.

"Off with you, Moons and Wormy!" Sirius said regally.

Remus just chuckled and sent Hermione a wink before ducking behind the Gryffindor pillar and leaving with Wormtail in his wake.

"So..." Sirius said, strolling towards Hermione slowly. "Do you like it?"

Hermione forget where her throat was. She also forgot how to operate her voice box. She made a series of noises that were indelicate and disturbing, but Sirius only chuckled.

"Glad to hear it," he said. "Happy Valentine's Day, my dear." Sirius lifted Hermione's ice-cold, numb hand and pressed a kiss to the top of it. "Now come to the table to eat and warm up, there's a Warming Charm cast over it. Oh, and just... one more thing." Sirius flicked his wand.

Hermione's winter gear transformed into a gown that was very specifically styled to the very early nineteen-hundreds... Styled very much like a first-class passenger of the RMS Titanic.

Before she could think, or speak, Hermione threw her arms around Sirius's neck and kissed him very hard on the mouth. Sirius laughed into her mouth, but responded enthusiastically, and twined his arms around her waist to lock her in tight to his chest.

Somewhere on the pitch, another light flashed to steal the perfect moment on film again.

...

"How exactly did you pull all of this off, exactly?" Hermione asked over their meal of duck in a sort of sweet and spicy sauce and spring salad. It was absolutely delicious and the smell of it was heavenly.

Sirius smiled. "It wasn't easy. First I had to... you know... make sure you didn't expect anything. And then of course there was the matter of convincing Hooch to let me borrow the pitch for the night, which involved a lot of groveling, and then the permission to stay out after curfew from Dumbledore, and the Charms, and the house-elves were all too happy to help with the food..."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "I actually meant, how did you get me up here? I'm still a little fuzzy of the whole process. Lily was irate with James."

"All an act," Sirius reported with a big smile. "She's quite the actress, that one. I had to get you up to the pitch somehow, and of course, Lily had to be angry enough with me that you'd feel the need to come up here yourself. Finds out, she did a pretty good job... Then again, she's had enough practice in being furious with James and me in the past to make her performance believable."

"And how did you know I'd miss supper and still be hungry?"

"Easy. I changed your clocks."

"_What_?"

"Your watch, the clocks in your dorm... I even went so far as to charming the clocks in the common room."

"That's positively evil!"

Sirius smiled. "Thank you."

"I could have just cast a Tempus, you know."

"But you didn't." Sirius winked.

"I am... oddly impressed," Hermione said, looking around at the magical scene she was enveloped in. "This is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me... Well, actually its the first romantic thing anyone's ever done for me, but this is going to be hard to beat, I imagine."

"I couldn't have done it without my mates, though," Sirius said with a very rare modest shrug. "Remus was very good in researching the magic to make the pitch sprout flowers. And James was handy in the whole deception plot." He didn't mention that Peter's part in the whole thing was to turn into his Animagus form and change the clocks, because even that was too much information - he had no clue what kind of reaction she would have to the Marauders being Animagi.

"So all you had to do what put on fancy clothes and stand in the right spot for the big reveal?" Hermione teased. Though, she admitted, seeing him in the tuxedo was possibly the best part of the evening. Sirius was handsome every day, even in uniform, but in the dress clothes... he was positively, breathtakingly dashing. The black and white back his hair seem blacker and his grey eyes seem smokier, as well as display his broad shoulders and lean form further.

He looked like a prince.

"Hey, this Muggle tux was difficult to put on, you know," Sirius declared, mock indignantly. "Remus had to teach me all about cummerbunds and jacket sizing and cufflinks. It was very trying. But I did it all for you! I wore pinchy shoes to make you happy. Which, I reckon, makes me the best boyfriend in the whole world."

Rolling her eyes, Hermione still smiled. She'd never been so enchanted before, so she supposed Sirius deserved a few minutes of big-headed-ness.

"I think you just might be," Hermione said gently, sincerely after a long moment. "Thank you, Sirius. Again. I never expected anything for today, but now you've made me the happiest girl in Hogwarts, I believe."

Reaching out across the small table, Sirius took her hand and squeezed. "It's the least I can do for making me the happiest boy in Hogwarts for over a month now."

And Hermione's heart melted.

She was falling in love with Sirius Black.

But... what did that mean for the future?

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Who is your favorite Marauder? Why? 3. Were you suspicious of Lily and James's arguments the whole time? 4. How did you originally think Lily was going to help Sirius?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	20. Birthmarks, Pudding & Wet Dreams

A/N. Alright people, my brain is bursting with ideas for stories. And of course, I can't write them all at once, I'd drive myself insane, so I've been scratching them down and putting them aside. I've already put a few ideas to rest, and I've made commitment to other readers, and just, OI! Who knew this would be so difficult?

But here's what's coming up in the world of Resa Aureus Fanfiction once The Holiday and The Trick of Time are mostly finished:

1. A new Bill/Hermione. A reader requested it and its one of my soft-spot pairings. Plus, there just isn't enough of this pairing out there - I have to fix that!

2. I am dying - DYING - to write a time-travel Lucius/Hermione story, but I have no idea where to start. It'd probably be a VERY short one. Ever since I wrote TLM and fell in love with Lucius, I've just wanted to play with him (in more ways than one *winks*)

3. I NEED TO WRITE A REMUS/SIRIUS, BUT I FEEL LIKE I DON'T HAVE THE SKILL TO PULL IT OFF. *frowns* I'll have to do my Wolfstar research before tackling that one.

Obviously, I need to get back to Captive. I am a negligent author *shame*

...~oOo~...

Chapter Twenty: Birthmarks, Pudding & Wet Dreams

"Look, 'Mione! That's me!" Sirius said excitedly, pointing at the sky. Sirius had undid his bow tie, which had a lot of grunting and yanking and near-strangling and thrown his jacket aside, lying in the dandelions on his back beside Hermione. The top three buttons of his shirt were undone and one of her hands was tucked up behind his head.

Hermione smiled at the brightness in Sirius's eyes as the starry sky was reflected in them. Her own hands were rested lightly on her stomach, her gown falling around her legs, except for one foot poking out from the bottom of the hem.

"I think I've found the source of your narcissism," Hermione chuckled. "All your life, you've been a star. One of the brightest, in fact, and it had to have gone to your head."

"When I was little, I used to think the star was named after me," Sirius admitted with a grin.

Hermione gave a laugh. "I don't doubt that."

"Where did your name come from?"

Hermione hesitated. "You know, I'm not quite sure."

"That has to be a first. Hermione Granger unsure of something."

She shot him a sideways look, a light glare. "Well, if you'd like to be technical, the name Hermione is Greek and it means 'travel'. In Greek Mythology, Hermione was the daughter of Menelaus and Helen. It's a female form of Hermes, messenger of the gods. It's also a character if the Shakespearean play 'The Winter's Tale'."

"Its seems to me you know plenty of where your name came from."

"What I meant," Hermione corrected herself, "was that I have no clue why my parents chose it. Where they'd come up with it. I never had the sense to ask, just did the research of it on my own. It's obvious enough why your parents named you as they had, but I don't know why mine did."

Sirius shrugged. "I don't think it matters much where they came up with it. All that matters is that they did, and that you are you, and 'you' just happens to be 'Hermione'."

"And you are Sirius Black," Hermione said. turning her head and smiling at him. Her was so handsome. Sirius was still staring at the sky, at his namesake, and she got to examine his profile. Just a chiseled, strong jaw, and aristocrat nose, with those deep smoky eyes and perfect cheekbones. His longish black hair feel in straight strands around his face and against his neck.

Beautiful.

"The one and only. Literally." He turned his head then and grinned back at her. "God knows the rest of the world has better sense than to name their kid 'Sirius'."

"I like it," Hermione told him.

"Don't get me wrong, so do I," Sirius said. "It's the perfect root for hundreds of fantastic puns."

"I think by 'fantastic' you mean 'awful'."

"I mean what I said."

"Well, you'd be wrong then."

"Oi. My name puns are hilarious."

"They're tiresome."

"They're timeless."

Hermione sighed. "You're insufferable."

Sirius smirked. "And you're incredible."

...

Hand in hand, Sirius and Hermione took their time making their way back to the castle, unconcerned that it was past midnight. They knew they had stayed out past even Dumbledore's special extended curfew for them, but they'd just been so wrapped up in the stars and each other, it had been impossible to pull away.

Once midnight had come, their glamorous clothes had evaporated into their winter-wear. Sirius assured her that, no, he hadn't just vanished perfectly good clothing, but that they were hanging safely in his closet. She noticed that the warming charms were fading and was grateful for the coat, especially when they were walking back.

"By the way," Hermione said, smiling, "I have a gift for you as well. I was going to give it to you once you and the boys came back from flying, but seeing as you conned me..." She took her little purse from the inner pocket of her coat and dug around inside before yanking out a very familiar-looking stack of parchment. "Does this, by any chance, belong to you?" she asked mischievously.

Sirius's jaw dropped and he halted in their walk. "The Map!"

"I'll take that as a yes, then?"

"How did you find-... How did you know-..." His brows pulled tightly together. "Are you a Seer?"

"Nothing so complex," Hermione chuckled, her breath making little clouds in the bitter February air. "I found it in Flich's office. I overheard you boys talking about some kind of map, and this seemed so out of place in his collection of confiscated things... Plus, it'd been listing some pretty horrifying insults from a certain collection of Messers with names curiously similar to the you boys' nicknames. Imagine that, eh?"

"Hermione," Sirius said as she put the Map in his hands and he stared at it with reverence and awe. "I have never been so turned on in my life."

Making a scrunched face, Hermione said, "Truly, Sirius, keep your fetish for cartography to yourself."

"Not the Map, you silly girl, I mean you!" Sirius exclaimed. "You snuck into Filch's office, didn't you?!"

"Why, Sirius... I have no idea what you're talking about," Hermione said, feigning perfect innocence with wide eyes and raised brows.

"You minx," Sirius murmured silkily, a definite lust brewing in his eyes. "Sneaking out, breaking into offices, and stealing... I think you just might be my soul-mate."

Hermione laughed, but in truth, she was worrying about just that. If they were meant to be together, then... What exactly was the universe playing at?

...~oOo~...

"I still don't get it," James said, his dark brow furrowed and his face squished unattractively. "Even with what she said, it doesn't make much sense at all."

"I know it doesn't," Sirius said with a sigh. "But... we have the Map back, don't we?"

"Yes, but..." Remus said hesitantly. "You have to admit, Hermione is getting curiouser and curiouser."

"You think I don't know that?" Sirius said bluntly. "She's my girlfriend, after all! She just... she knows things and says weird things. And she's so vague about her past... I still don't know a thing about her parents apart from the fact that they're Muggles, and I have no clue about her history with boys. She's like a vault."

"Maybe she's a criminal," Peter hissed, his eyes squinty eyes bulging scandalously. "And she's running from French law, so she's come here and picked the perfect place to hide - an Unplottable school!"

Sirius rolled her eyes, but James was stoking his chin. "Pete might be onto something," James murmured. "Maybe we should order the most recent French newspaper by owl and check it out."

"Oh, please," Sirius huffed. "Hermione is not a criminal!"

Remus said, "I agree. That hypothesis is ridiculous. Your deductive skills suck."

Peter's face scrunched like James's. "Oh, yeah? Well, do you have any better ideas?"

"A thousand," Remus said with an eye roll. "None of which end with Hermione in hiding from the law. However, I do think she may be in hiding from something, or someone. It would explain why she's so vague about her past. Maybe something really bad happened, like a death of a friend or family member, so she had to leave France. Or, perhaps, there's someone dangerous that she needs to hide from."

Sirius frowned. "But... what kind of dangerous person? The most dangerous person in the world is native to England," he pointed out.

"Maybe... an abusive family member?" Remus guessed.

"That's all well and awful," James said, butting in, "but it has nothing to do with the fact that Hermione just so happened to break into Filch's Office and just so happened to find exactly the thing that we'd been trying to recover for months! We can turn into bloody animals and couldn't manage it, for Merlin's sake!"

"You're just upset because you were outdone by a girl," Remus told him.

"No! Well... maybe. Okay, a little bit. It just doesn't make sense though!"

"We should launch a full-fledged infiltrate-and-informate mission," Pete said severely.

"Truer words have never been spoken!" James agreed.

"I'm not invading Hermione's privacy!" Sirius said firmly. "If we broke into her room... Christ, forget about her breaking up with me - she'd kill me!"

"Has anyone considered - oh, I don't know - asking her about it?" Remus said, raising a sardonic eyebrow at his friend. They had the tendency to go a little over the top and be a tad over-dramatic.

James, Peter, and Sirius all stopped and stared at their werewolf friend.

"That is," James said slowly, breaking the silence, "the most... stupid idea I have heard all night."

"Really, Moons, you're not up to your usual standard tonight," Sirius agreed.

"Ask? How would we even go about that?" Peter joined in.

Rolling his eyes, Remus pulled back the comforter on his bed and climbed in, taking a book off of his side table. "Just don't come running to me when this entire crisis could have been averted by simply listening to the werewolf in the room." He grabbed his wand out of its drawer.

"What crisis?" Sirius asked. In his experience, this was a very mild problem.

"The crisis that will inevitably rock our entire friendship - and possibly the school - by you three pissing off Hermione. Now, goodnight, my friends. It was nice knowing you. I'll make sure to put together a little something to say at your funerals." With a flick of his wand, the curtains around his bed whipped shut.

...~oOo~...

_My Gryffindor Princess,_

_Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? No, I shan't, because I know the summer gives you allergies and you hate that. Anyway, I heard from a reliable source (Moony) that girls don't like being compared (which Moony should know because he is a girl). So I'll just skip the comparing and Shakespeare and get down to what I need to say. _

_I saw your panties in History of Magic last class. It was only a glimpse, mind you, but it was enough that I may just think about your panties all day. I was sitting across the room, smiling at you, and then you moved your legs to cross them and WHAM. THERE THEY WERE. White and virginal and RIGHT THERE. I couldn't NOT look at them. _

_I have to tell you this because Moony said that girls like full disclosure, which apparently means no secrets, so I told you one. Do YOU have any secrets you'd like to share?_

_Love,_

_Prince Padfoot_

_PS. I would very much like to see your panties again. (See? No secrets!)_

_..._

_Sirius, _

_I would appreciate it if you spent less time waiting for a glimpse between my thighs and more time paying attention in class. It would mean less tutoring time and more snogging (See? Incentives to paying attention in class!)._

_Remus is not a girl. I'm telling him you said that - BE NICER TO HIM. He's put up with your nonsense for nearly seven years. He deserves better. _

_Sirius, sometimes you make no sense. And I highly doubt you tell me EVERYTHING that you and your Marauders do when I'm not looking. _

_Yours,_

_Hermione_

_PS. Not on your life. _

_..._

_My Beautiful Girl,_

_Wait. So if I paid more attention to McGoogles... you would snog me more?! THAT'S NOT INCENTIVE, THAT'S BLACKMAIL. YOU'VE BEEN HOLDING OUT ON ME. I DEMAND A SNOG AFTER LUNCH IN THE QUIDDITCH SHED. I mean, please. _

_Remus IS a girl, vagina and all. Trust me, I saw it. He even has little breasts and moisturizes every day. I mean, why else would he take so long in the bathroom? _

_I DO TOO TELL YOU EVERYTHING. And I mean EVERYTHING. Okay, maybe not. But I can remedy that right now! Here are all the secrets I haven't told you:_

_1. I named my toothbrush Henry and every morning while I brush my teeth, I pretend I'm having a conversation with him. _

_2. James and I claim we have matching birthmarks. This isn't true. We burnt each other with cigarettes in First Year to make everyone think that. _

_3. The first month you got here, I was the one who filled your pillow with pudding. _

_4. I masturbate exactly three times a day, mostly to photographs of motorcycles. Not with people on them... just motorcycles_

_5. I once had a nightmare that I snogged Snivellus. I cried for a full two hours after I woke up. _

_That's everything. Now do YOU have any secrets you want to tell me?_

_Forever Yours & Always & Infinity & Beyond,_

_Your Brilliant Boyfriend_

_..._

_Sirius,_

_It's hardly blackmail. I didn't say, "I won't snog you unless you pay attention". Anyway, no - I will not snog you in the Quidditch shed. It's dirty and gross in there. Anyway, you always eat onions at lunch and you taste funny afterwards. _

_Remus is a man. A very attractive, very much boy, and intelligent man. And if he moisturizes, then its good for him, because in thirty years he'll still be young and beautiful and you'll be wrinkly and ugly. _

_Your confessions make me wonder why I date you. Talking to inanimate objects, self-mutilating, sexual arousal from motorbikes, and homo-erotic dreams. And by the way, I KNOW it was you who filled my pillow with pudding, I'm not stupid. _

_And Sirius, if you're trying to get me to confess to something, it isn't working and it probably wasn't me. I've moved on past our pranking games, remember? It was probably James. Did he steal all of your socks again? Or has he charmed all of your quills to write Arse Face whenever you try writing your name? _

_Yours,_

_Hermione_

_..._

_WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT REMUS?! _

_..._

_Sirius,_

_He's handsome. Get over it._

_- Hermione_

_..._

_NO HE IS NOT. HE IS NOT HANDSOME, HE IS MOONY. MOONYS ARE NOT HANDSOME. THEY ARE MOONY-ISH. _

_..._

_Sirius,_

_Are you sure you don't have homosexual suppressed feelings for him, Mr. Sleep-Snogged Severus Snape? It would explain why you're being so defensive. _

_- Hermione_

_..._

_Last Will and Testament of Sirius Black III:_

_Unfortunately, our dearly departed Sirius, died of mental overload at the hands of his very mean, very evil girlfriend, Hermione Granger, thusly leaving her with NOTHING (Hear that, Hermione? NOTHING.) and giving EVERYTHING to McGoogles. _

_X SOB III_

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Will the boys break into Hermione's room? 3. What's your favorite Muggle prank of all time?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	21. Not Yet & Not Quite

A/N. Have you ever heard of Braxton Hicks Syndrome? I have, but I thought it was all a myth until it HAPPENED TO ME. Painful *frowns* And it freaked me out, because I still have a full month before I go to term.

Amyway, on my stories I've been putting little fun facts about myself, just because... well... because I can, I suppose. So! Here's another:

I was a smoker, before I found out I was pregnant... And I miss smoking desperately -_- I told my FOMB that the first thing we do when we leave the hospital is pick up a pack of Marlboro Red for Momma. But I would NEVER EVER EVER smoke near my baby, ever. I've made a rule that all smoking at my flat must be on the fire escape or the roof.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Twenty-One: Not Yet & Not Quite

"Moony?"

"Yes?"

"I need to ask you a favor."

"If it involves removing my organs -"

"God!" Sirius huffed. "That was once. Can we please just get over it already?"

Remus smirked and said, "Okay, as long as I can keep all of my body parts, then sure. What's the favor?"

Sirius cleared his throat. "I need you to stop being handsome."

James, Remus, and Peter all stared at their friend, wondering if Sirius had, once and for all, lost his mind. In the past, Sirius had said some bizarre things, but this was definitely one of the weird ones.

Remus set down his fork beside his plate and said, "Sirius, what the hell are you saying exactly?"

"Well, apparently, you're a good-looking fellow," Sirius said earnestly, bent forward on his elbows. The buzz of the Great Hall hung in the background of their conversation, as well as the clink of silverware and plates.

Deciding he wasn't going to get any reading done, Remus shut his book for their next class and waited for the rest of Sirius's explanation.

"Go on," Remus prompted.

"You're handsome and I need you to stop," Sirius said.

"Why? Having too many randy fantasies about our Moony?" James taunted.

"Shut it, James," Sirius said. "I'm not, but I suspect my girlfriend is... Which is why I am asking you ever-so nicely to quit being a pretty boy."

"Are you really so insecure in your relationship with Hermione that you can't handle her being attracted to someone else?" Remus said, raising an eyebrow.

With a sigh, Sirius said, "It's not just 'someone else' - it's you! You're my best mate and you understand her psychobabble stuff and I don't and... well, on top of being a Moony and a genius, she thinks you're attractive!"

"Do you really think Hermione would leave you for Remus?" Peter asked, brows furrowed. He didn't think that sounded like Hermione at all.

"Even if she did," Remus cut in before Sirius could go on a tangent, "I wouldn't be receptive. I'm not interested. Sure, she's pretty and smart, but I just wouldn't be able to handle kissing her when I know she's slept with you."

Sirius's face stilled. He felt his ears get warm and he tipped his head down so that his hair would hopefully hide his reaction.

"What's your problem?" James asked, landing an elbow to his friend's ribs. "Is she not good in the sack or something?"

Sirius mumbled something and all of the other Marauders leaned forward to hear more clearly.

"Pardon?" Peter said.

"Yeewoodntnooooo."

"Huh?" James repeated, eyebrow raised.

"I _said_," Sirius said, exasperated, "I wouldn't know, okay?! There! I've said it! I've been with Hermione for months and we are yet to have sex, shag, make the beast with two backs, bump uglies, and what have you!"

Remus's eyes went wide. "You're joking. Because the Sirius Black I know could charm a girl out of her knickers after an hour of flirtation in Transfiguration. Are you really saying that you and Hermione have been formally dating for quite a while and you have yet to work your slimy hands into her pants?"

Sirius was glaring darkly, but it mostly looked like a pout to his friends.

Sirius was a man. He was tall, broad-shouldered, built with muscle, and had five o'clock shadow. So the fact that he was pouting about his girlfriend did nothing but amuse - and shock - James.

Peter's years of idol worship went to waste in that moment.

"Listen," said Sirius, leaning back and crossing his arms, trying to regain some of the cool that he just lost. "I'm taking my time, got it? This isn't like a cornish hen - it's a turkey. It takes a few days to brine and marinate, and then almost a full day to cook. But once that long preparation is over, you can carve the fuck out of that bird and enjoy."

Peter seemed enraptured by Sirius's advice, intrigued, while James was smirking and Remus was rolling his eyes.

"If Hermione heard you compare her to a -"

"Compare me to a what?"

All the boys jolted upright, Peter even letting out a squeak. They all spun to where Hermione stood behind Sirius, her hair yanked back into a ponytail that was escaping its confines, and carrying three books, her satchel hanging beside her hip. One of her eyebrows was arched suspiciously.

"Hello, darling," Sirius said, jumping out of his seat and facing her, stuffing his hands in his pockets and trying to feign normalcy. He looked down at Hermione and found it easy to smile. "What are you up to?"

"Just grabbing a roll to eat on the way to the library," Hermione said slowly. "What were you comparing me to?"

"A summer's day."

Hermione gave him a blunt look. "I have documented proof that you'd never compare me to a summer's day."

"The sun. Mother Earth. The universe. Everything good in this world, licorice, puppy dogs, and snogging." Sirius dipped down and pressed a kiss to her mouth. "Now, come along, I'll walk you to the library."

"Are you... sure?" Hermione said, biting her lip. "I don't want to take you away from your friends."

"You'd be doing us a favor by taking him away," James told her.

Remus and Peter nodded in agreement.

"Alright then," Hermione said, jamming a lock of her hair behind her ear. "As long as you promise not to do that weird staring thing, Sirius."

"Promise," Sirius said eagerly. He reached over Peter for a roll and handed it to Hermione. "See ya, guys."

All the boys waved as the couple turned to walk away. They all watched curiously at then as they advanced towards the doors exiting the Great Hall - at how Sirius placed one of his hands at the small of her back, at how large his hands were in comparison to her narrow waist and hips. At how he leaned over to whisper in her hair and then nuzzle her hair while one of her hands simply held onto his shirt as they walked.

"Wow, he really towers over her doesn't he?" Peter remarked.

James smiled. "Leave it to you, Wormtail, to notice their height instead of the fact that Sirius absolutely worships her."

Remus nodded. "It's true. But I wonder if she feels the same. I mean, she definitely likes him - but to what degree? Sirius... I think he just might be in love. Is she?"

"And there's always the fact she's hiding something," James went on. "Is she worthy of his devotion?" He paused. "I say we find out. Come on, guys. Hermione and Sirius will be occupied in the library for a while. It's the perfect time to put Operation What's She Hiding into action."

Remus groaned. "We're breaking into her room, aren't we?"

James and Peter were already on their feet.

"If Sirius doesn't want to do a little snooping, then fine, he doesn't have to," James said. "But we will."

...

Hermione glamoured the book. Sirius would see a History of Magic text while she saw the pages inking out in gruesome detail to events of the First War. _The Trick _was an excruciatingly intimate recount of Voldemort's ranks from the very beginning and the shambles of the Ministry, and the heavy allusion to a secret society.

Hermione had been ignoring the book with a vengeance. She'd been too lost in her own happiness, and too reluctant to let it go - reluctant to face reality - to read it. Too terrified to meet the chapter where the report of one mass murderer Sirius Black was sentenced to life in Azkaban and the "slaughter" of Peter Pettigrew.

The writer, though, seemed negligent to curse Sirius Black's name or to mourn for Pettigrew like most of the articles did - it stated the mere facts and details of the arrest and conviction, what the Auror report stated, the end. It even made it clear that Sirius went without a trial.

And, of course, the chapter at the very end that speculated Voldemort's "death".

The exact text read this:

_And so the headlines rejoice and the parties commence at the extinction of the wizarding world's Darkest wizard and his followers. We look forward to years, decades, of peace and serenity, and we are so assured that no one could possibly come along worse than He Must Not Be Named. We glorify an orphaned infant who we credit with our safety._

_But I ask you this, fellow witch or wizard. You Know Who was the cleverest of the clever and out-clevered an entire society, a Ministry, Dumbledore himself..._

_Do we honestly believe, so wholeheartedly, that someone so cunning hasn't found an appropriately clever scheme to cheat death?_

Hermione understood immediately why the Ministry would have wanted to prevent the book from reaching shelves at any cost. It made a fool of them, would instill paranoia, and distrust in those in power.

Not only did it laugh in the face of the Ministry's confidence of Voldemort's death, but it also revealed some secrets the government kept during the war. Like the exact number of casualties. And how long the Ministry ignored the attacks. The insufficient number of Aurors dispatched.

"What're you reading?" Sirius asked. "Something boring? Because History is boring. You look pensive. You mustn't look so concerned about the past, Hermione, it's already happened after all."

Looking up from the book and it took a moment to remember that Sirius could only see a History book. "Oh, um. Yes. I suppose so. You know how I get... about the Goblin wars."

In reality, though, the history she was reading was yet to happen. But happen, it would.

Sirius nodded and draped an arm over the back of her chair and fiddled with one of her curls. "Yes, goblins and ogres and house-elves." He smirked and kissed her temple. "You sympathize with everything." He bent forward to land soft kisses to her jaw and cheek.

Hermione gave a shiver. "You're awfully affectionate today," she observed. Not that she minded at all.

"Am I?" he inquired, this voice throatier than usual. Hermione felt the blush crawl up her neck and cheeks. The hand that wasn't toying with her hair was rest on her knee, his thumb drawing slow circles.

"Yes," she answered, her voice raising an octave. She clasped her hands in her lap, trying very hard to remember that she was in a library.

But Sirius's hands were so big and warm and inviting, they coaxed her in until she barely remembered not only where she was, but her name and what she was doing.

"I just have a hard time keeping my hands off of you," he replied, close to her ear, his breath hot.

In the back of her head, Hermione couldn't help but not understand why. She was nothing special to look at, after all. Skinny, narrow, flat, and frizzy.

"Stop thinking," Sirius whispered. "I can hear the wheels turning in your head. It's quite distracting." He took the hand from her knee and stacked all of her things on the table in front of them and set them aside. He twisted her chair, took her by the waist, and promptly lifted her onto the table, centered in front of him. "That's more like it," he said with a smirk, his hands slowly rubbing the sides of her thighs.

"Sirius, you're not even supposed to be in here," Hermione said as he cupped the back of her neck and drew her mouth towards his. "You're banned. If we're caught, it certainly won't help your case..."

Looking her in the eyes, Sirius said, "Hermione. You have spent the last seven years of your life studying your admirably large brain into a fun-less coma. Do yourself - and me - a favor and act like a normal teenager for five bloody minutes."

To some degree, Sirius was right. Even without knowing it, he had proven a very big point. She spent every year of her life as a witch getting into trouble and getting out of trouble with Harry and Ron, always stuck in a crises.

And even with danger looming, she was currently in a timeline where things were still relatively calm. There was no immediate threat, and she only had a few months left with Hogwarts - and Sirius. Who knew how her plans would change come summer?

So, yes. Hermione felt that she deserved normalcy for about five bloody minutes.

Hermione kissed him then, tangling her hands into his silky black hair. They both were breathing raggedly after only a few seconds, and Sirius's plans to keep his hands still were obliterated. They ran up her hips and to her waist, and slid up her ribs, being very very careful to only allow his thumb to "accidentally" brush against the underside of her breast.

"Kitten," Sirius whispered against his girlfriend's mouth. "What do you say... we take this... up to my dorm?"

"Mm-mm," Hermione mumbled back, half moaning and half refuting.

"Why not?" he inquired, toying with the hem of her skirt and caressing her hip.

"Oh, Sirius, I can think of a hundred reasons," Hermione chuckled, still kissing him again and again.

"That's always the problem with you, isn't it?" he sighed. "Always with the thinking."

Hermione put a small amount of space between their lips and said, "One of us has to."

"You can sympathize with goblins, but not your boyfriend?" he pouted. "Doesn't seem fair for me."

Hermione ran her hands through his hair, raking it back away from his beautiful, aristocratic face and enjoying the feel of it through her fingers. "Sirius..."

"Please, Hermione?" He stood up then, so that he was looking down at her sitting once more. He leaned forward and pressed his hands to her back. "I... I like you more than I've liked any other girl and I want you so badly. Your drive me crazy, love."

With a deep breath, Hermione said, "I like you too, Sirius, and I want to make you happy, but... I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Can you understand that?"

"Yes," he said, his face falling. "I'm not thrilled with it, but yes, I understand." Then he smirked. "You know... we don't have to shag. We can just go up to my dorm and snog in the privacy of my bed curtains."

Hermione couldn't help but smile. "Sounds lovely."

Then Sirius swooped down and scooped her up around her waist and lifted her up, carrying her like that along with her things and towards the door.

"Is this necessary?" Hermione asked, arching an eyebrow as her feet dangled.

"Of course," Sirius said with a smirk. "You're my princess, remember?"

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What will the boys find in Hermione's room? 3. What does Hermione think will change once summer arrives?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	22. Where Is Home?

A/N. My due date is drawing nearer and nearer. Almost exactly a month now! I am huge, of course. According to the ultrasounds, my son is going to be VERY "tall" or rather, long, when he arrives. Big baby, which makes sense because both me and his father were rather large babies too.

Today I rewatched A Very Potter Musical & Sequel, so expect plenty of references to said musical. I do not own these references, the awesome creators at StarKidPotter do... and even then, they don't even really own them because they don't have the rights... because JKR does... somehow, it always comes back to her.

Resa Fun Fact:

I want Hermione Granger... and a rocket ship.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Twenty-Two: Where Is Home?

The spring brought plenty of rain, with cool winds, as the sun seemed to grow hotter and hotter with every day. Students took to studying out of doors, lying in the grass by the lake, or sitting in benches in the courtyard, soaking up the sun and preparing for exams.

James and Lily's romance blossomed into a beautiful, if not sometimes nauseating, relationship where many eskimo kisses were exchanged at meals and hand-holding was a constant. Frankly, most of the Marauders were just happy they didn't have to listen to James's bitching and moaning about how Lily would never love him and about how he was going to die alone, yada yada...

And white James and Lily were enjoying a blissful honeymoon period that went on for much longer than honeymoons were meant to, Sirius and Hermione were almost tragically at a standstill.

And it was beginning to make Sirius stir crazy. He was getting tense and had a perpetual hard-on with no hopes of it being relieved by anything other than his own left hand (yes, left). Most nights he went back to his dorm, rolled himself onto his stomach and hope to suffocate himself with his own pillow.

"So much suppressed sexual arousal cannot be healthy," he would moan. "Moony, do some research on that, will you? Maybe it I presented a validated, thoroughly researched, and cited essay on why I may very well die of blue balls, she'll give in."

"Sirius, I am absolutely not, under any circumstances, doing any sort of reading that had anything mildly to do with your balls," Remus would reply.

After a particularly torturous Potions class - Hermione was wearing her hair up, which he always liked, and she wasn't shy rubbing his shoulder or touching him absently - Sirius went to lunch with his friends while Hermione went off to do more reading. He leaned heavily on Peter, one arm tossed around the shorter boy's shoulders.

"Alright, so I've come to a conclusion," Sirius said, leaning forward so his mates could hear him. "I need to know what's going on in Hermione's head. I am done with this 'no sex' rule. We need to break into her room, steal her diary - she has to have one, she's a girl - and find out why the hell I have to suffer."

Peter, Remus, and James all exchanged a look that did not go unnoticed by Sirius.

"Oi, what's that look about?" Sirius demanded.

James cleared his throat. "Here's the thing, mate. We - Moony, Wormtail and I - have already broken into Hermione's room."

"You what? You invaded my girlfriend's privacy?" Sirius asked, shocked. "And most importantly, you didn't invite me? What kind of friends are you?"

"Well, when I first proposed the idea," James went on, "you were dead-set against it, remember? So... we figured it would be a big deal if we took a little peak without you."

"It would have still been nice if you'd asked," Sirius said with a huff. "But bugger that - what did you find?"

Remus said, "No diary, no little black book, not even a calendar. Just an array of compulsively organized uniforms and casual clothes, a perfectly made bed, and a sleeping kitten that attacked us when we woke it up."

"Dandelion doesn't like having her slumber disrupted," Sirius said. "She's a fierce watch-cat."

"Point is," Peter took up, "that Hermione's quarters were basically a monk's cell."

Sirius shook his head. "Of course it was. She's so... strange. Wait. Did you check her knickers drawer? Girls always hide special things in her knickers drawer."

"I did," Peter said. "Nothing, still just creepily organized under- OW. What was that for?" He rubbed the back of his head where Sirius had smacked him.

"That was a trick question," Sirius said with a scowl. "Are you barmy, looking at my girlfriend's knickers before even I have? You should be ashamed."

Remus sighed. "We're getting off point. Sirius. There was nothing. Where do you want to go from here?"

Sirius stroked his stubbly jaw. He'd foregone shaving that morning - as he often did, he was lazy and terrible in the mornings - and scratched at the prickly growth. "Well, I want Hermione Granger... and a rocket ship. But since the latter will be rather difficult to obtain, I'll take the former." He stood up and adjusted the collar on his wrinkled, unwashed shirt. "How do I look?"

"Like a hobo."

"You're a great help, Moony," Sirius said back.

"I think you need to mess up your hair just a tad more," James suggested. "Ladies love messy hair."

"No they don't," Peter said. "Lily just barely tolerates yours."

James ruffled his own hair and said, "Who can resist this?"

"Everyone," Sirius, Remus, and Peter all answered in unison.

Sirius said, "I'm abandoning you poofs with your ugly hair and bad sense of style. See you later."

...

Hermione was on the edge of a breakthrough. She'd been using her and Sirius's old empty classroom for late-night experimenting after curfew and conspiring with Dumbledore with her discoveries and trials.

It was exceptionally dangerous work. Creating a spell was one thing, creating a magical object was another all together. Her experiments firmly balanced on the line between Light and Dark, but Dumbledore gave his approval, knowing that such magic was using by the Ministry daily.

If everything timed out well enough, she would either succeed or fail just before the school year was out, which meant only about five more weeks.

She studiously immersed herself in her project, because she knew that whether her plan worked or not, come summer she'd be saying goodbye to Sirius. By occupying every waking moment with reading and such, she had no time to even think about what Sirius had come to mean to her or about what she would tell him, or even how he would react...

But none of that was important, she told herself. It didn't matter. From the beginning, her and Sirius were going to have to part at some point - and the sooner the better. It would hurt less, she reasoned.

But, God, did it hurt already...

Hermione was on her way to see Dumbledore that very moment when the heavy footfalls echoed behind her and she turned to see Sirius jogging to catch up with her. He gave her a big, sloppy kiss on the cheek in greeting and took her hand.

"So, where are we off to?" he asked cheekily, grinning.

"_I _was going to see Dumbledore," Hermione replied. "I have no clue where you're going, though."

"With you, of course."

"Unfortunately, this is not a meeting you can sit in on," she replied, trying to sound casual. She didn't want to pique his curiosity too much, but the damage was done. He was intrigued.

"Why not? What's the secret? Does it have something to do with all the secrets that you refuse to tell me?" he asked in rapid-fire.

Shaking her head, Hermione said, "Can't say."

"So that's an 'all of the above', then?"

"There are no secrets," Hermione lied. "But... private matters."

Sirius paused. "Does it have to do with your family?"

Hermione could hear the worry in his voice, the concern. And it broke her heart.

But there was never going to be a good moment to talk to him about this. She looked at her watch to see if she had time before her appointment and decided that even so, it had to be done.

Hermione stopped walking and took a deep breath. "Well, yes. In a way." She looked up at Sirius and it made her heart stutter. His brow was furrowed ever so slightly and his lips were turned in a soft frown. He was so... beautiful. "Sirius... I've been conferring with Dumbledore about this summer and about how I need to go... home."

Sirius hesitated, but it was barely noticeable. "But you said your parents were gone. Why would you go back to France when there's no one there?"

"It's... where I belong," Hermione said, feeling the thickness in her throat. This was harder than she thought it would be. "It's where my life is."

"But your life is here now," he said, firmer. His frown was deepening by the second. Sirius did not like where this was heading one bit. "Your friends are here. I'm here. You've made this your home, Hermione. You can't just abandon your home."

With a sigh, she said tentatively, "This has never been my home."

Sirius's jaw was taut and his hands were fisting and releasing repetitively at his sides. He was obviously getting upset. Not the sad upset, either. The angry kind of upset.

"How can you say that?" Sirius asked tightly. "You've been here for quite a while. now. You seem comfortable enough." Then he paused for two beats. "Did I do something? Say something wrong?"

"No, no, nothing like that," Hermione said, reaching out and touching his hand, but he didn't respond to the touch. "It was foolish of me to get involved with you, Sirius."

"You knew that you'd leave, didn't you?"

Sadly, Hermione nodded, the lump growing behind her gag reflex. She kept swallowing, trying to get rid of it.

Sirius took a moment to look up at the ceiling, take a deep breath, and close his eyes. He needed to clear his head before he started screaming, because he was mere breaths from doing so. Every inch of him was tightening with... frustration. Anger. And more than a touch of sadness.

"That's why, isn't it?" Sirius said, finally. "Why you've always kept me at arm's length. Why we can talk for hours about films and books and friends and our likes and dislikes, but never your past. Why you never told me that you... how you feel about me, you mean."

Hermione closed her own eyes for a moment. "What were you about to say?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Sirius."

He took a step closer and said, almost hissing, "You have never told me that you loved me."

"It's not as if you've told me that you did!"

"Did I need to?!" Sirius snapped at once. He felt everything in him rising to the surface. "Did I, really? Because I did EVERYTHING except say it out loud, Hermione!" He took her shoulders, his hands trembling. "I did everything humanly and wizardly possible to make you smile, make you comfortable, make you happy! What did I do wrong? Why can't you see how much I love you?"

The dam broke and Hermione's tears came, her lower lip shaking furiously.

He loved her.

And she loved him. So much.

"All I want, Hermione," he said in a half-growl, edging on desperation, "in this world, is to laugh with you, hold your hand, make love to you. Don't you see that?"

With no idea how to answer that, Hermione looked at each of his shaking hands and said gently with the little bit of calm she had left, "Sirius... let go of me."

It took him a moment, but he did. And for some reason, it felt by letting go of her shoulders, he was letting go of so much more, of everything they had together.

"Goodbye," she said on a sob before turning and running in the opposite direction.

Sirius watched Hermione until she turned a corner and he could see her no more. And then, with a rush of fury, he turned and slammed his fist into the nearest stone wall.

And broke his left hand.

The only thought he had was, _Fuck. _

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What do you think Hermione is experimenting with? 3. Do you think her plan will succeed or fail? 4. What will Sirius do next?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish


	23. Follow the Heartlines

A/N. So, Way Worse Than Scottish is one crazy mofo (in a good way). Because she was so unhappy about the last chapter that she threatened me to go to my other stories and review on every chapter, complaining about Hermione and Sirius's break-up, until I posted a new chapter. Ladies and gents, she was NOT lying - if you go over to The Last Marauder and click the reviews, you will read seventy angst-filled reviews from Way Worse Than Scottish.

That, my friends, is dedication. :)

Resa Fun Fact:

I have five tattoos. One of Popeye and Olive Oyl, another of the mask from Phantom of the Opera, a Peter Pan quote, a mermaid drowning a peaceful-looking girl, and the symbol of the Deathly Hallows (which is my favorite).

...~oOo~...

Chapter Twenty-Three: Follow the Heartlines

Upon hearing about Hermione and Sirius's break-up, the Marauders were expecting Sirius to retreat back into his I-hate-Hermione phase, where he did spiteful things and pulled cruel pranks. Or, very possibly, go back to the days where he desperately tried to win her heart with grand displays of affection, in the hopes to get her back. And if not that, he'd go into an inconsolable rage.

They certainly hadn't expected him to be totally, utterly, and completely... normal.

They hadn't even really noticed anything different about him, really, when he returned to the dorm that night. His friends would have suspected anything peculiar if it weren't for the cast on his hand.

"What happened?" James had asked.

"Punched a wall," Sirius had reported, throwing himself onto the bed and grabbing some licorice out of his drawer.

Raising an eyebrow, Peter'd asked, "Why would you do that?"

"Hermione broke up with me," he answered casually, ripping a bite off of the licorice. "Who's up for Exploding Snaps?"

And Sirius refused to say anything else on the matter. Even when Remus prodded him, Sirius only made some kind of joke, barked out a laugh, and went on to eat more candy. They waited for a break in his temperament, but there was none. Not even the next day at breakfast when he saw Hermione sitting with Lily and Alice. His smile remained in place, didn't send her a dirty look and not a longing one, and went on to eat far too much bacon.

"Sirius, are you eating your feelings?" Remus asked when Sirius doused his bacon and crepes in syrup, to the point where it looked like soup.

"No," Sirius said simply, shoveling a spoonful of the soggy crepe and into his mouth. "I'm just normal eating."

"Are you sure?" Peter asked. "Because when I'm sad, I like to eat too."

"I'm not sad," Sirius told them.

James bit his lip. "Are you sure, mate? Because... you were in love with Hermione. It has to hurt -"

"Whoa, guys," Sirius said with an amused smirk, holding up his hands. "You guys are making out me and Hermione's relationship to be so much more than it actually was. It was just a bit of fun, but now it's over. Time to move on."

"You... punched a wall," Peter said.

"I did," Sirius said, tearing into a strip of bacon. "And I was angry. But now I'm not. I feel pretty good, actually."

"That's just your abnormally large sugar intake over the past eighteen hours," Remus told him.

"Stop looking at me like a time bomb," Sirius said firmly. "I am fine. Hermione is fine. Everything is okay, so stop thinking I'm some fragile little girl that needs help mending a shattered heart. Because this heart is intact." He shrugged. "It wasn't anything I could help. She's leaving this summer and I don't _do_ long distance relationships. Even more to the point, I don't do relationships. It wasn't as if we were going to spend the rest of our lives together."

James said, "But -"

"Despite all your joking, I'm not you, James," Sirius cut in, not angrily, just firmly. "And Hermione isn't Lily. We aren't soul-mates and we aren't in love."

...

"Did you hear all of that?" Lily said through clenched teeth. "'Aren't in love', my arse. You said he said that he loved you, didn't you?"

Hermione sighed. "It was probably something he said in the heat of the moment and regrets it. I wouldn't think much of it."

Lily was shaking her head furiously. "Sirius Black doesn't say something that serious and not mean it. Don't you agree, Alice?"

Alice was frowning. "I don't know. I'm just sad."

"Why?"

"Because... Hermione, didn't you love Sirius?"

Hermione paused and looked down at her porridge. Only in her deepest of hidden thoughts did she admit that she did. It hurt sometimes, but she did love him. Not that it mattered. The girls didn't need to know that.

"No," Hermione said, stirring her porridge thoughtfully. "Not really. I liked him plenty, but love... that's such a big step and Sirius and I weren't like that. It was never going to be forever."

"Why not?" Lily demanded, arms crossed.

"Because... Sirius has conquests to flirt with and I have books to read. The end. No more, no less. I'm going back to France, and he'll stay here. We have different paths."

Lily was shaking her head. "You can say what you like, but none of it is true. Sirius worshipped the ground you walked on and for reasons I can't comprehend you sabotaged that and now he's acting all nonchalant like you never mattered and you're acting the same way. It's stupid."

With a heavy heart, Hermione just sighed again. She'd spent most of the night before crying with the curtains of her bed drawn and now she was being harassed about something that wouldn't change.

And then she overheard the Marauders talking, only a few feet down the table, and expressly hearing Sirius explain to his friends that what they had wasn't love. And so it was revealed that he'd been lying the day before.

Those words "I love you" carried so much weight with her, and then he denied it. And it hurt. That wonderful, beautiful phrase was cheapened and abused by Sirius and he didn't seem to care. Hermione wondered how many other times Sirius had said those words to different girls to keep them from breaking up with him. It seemed like something Sirius would do.

But none of it meant anything. She had a plan. It was complex, but she had to believe it would work.

Time-Turners did not go foreword in time, this was true. But they _did_ manipulate time. Which was a step in the right direction.

Hermione was creating a device that could do what a Time-Turner did, only in reverse, but one could not just spontaneously create that kind of magic, it had to have a root somewhere else that she could expand upon.

And curiously, Hermione did a little research on Portkeys.

Portkeys could transport a wizard of great distances, in any direction it was programmed to. Time-Turners were limited to one direction, but transported through time.

What if Hermione could... meld the two together? Not a Portkey, not a Turner, but somehow taking properties from both and putting them into one device? She named it, perhaps not so cleverly, a Time Key.

And it was coming along rather incredibly. While Hermione was in class, Dumbledore worked on it. Evenings, she did. And they did plenty of collaborating, building prototypes and doing test runs with small animals.

So far they had one successful run. They programmed a prototype Time Key to transport a mouse three hours into the future in Dumbledore's desk. Sure enough, three hours later, a squeaking came from his drawer and when he opened it, there was the mouse and the Time Key.

Unfortunately, there was a very high danger of there being a sort of Splinching side-effect, confusion, memory loss, or of never showing up at your destination and being lost forever between time and space. Of course, they could only assume that one would be stuck, but you could very well just simply die.

And Dumbledore was proud of her, but definitely did not want her using it. It was too dangerous, he said. He would only allow her to try to go forward if he could successfully do so first. And they weren't going to attempt that until they were sure it could move him, at the very least, a day forward.

They didn't see that happening very soon. Which made Hermione wonder how long she was really going to be in that time period.

...~oOo~...

For the first month after their break-up, Sirius was still perfectly calm, but James could tell that when Hermione was around that he'd instinctively flinch towards her, and end up fighting the routine of approaching and kissing her hello. James thought that was probably the hardest thing to watch, harder than watching Sirius pretend it was okay when he knew it wasn't.

And when their graduation day came, Sirius finally hit rock bottom.

He never was a morning person, but his misery surpassed any morning before.

Lying on his stomach, James, Remus, and Peter all already in their robes, Sirius was in nothing but his boxers. His face was shoved into the pillow and he did not want to get up for anyone.

It got so close to the ceremony that the Marauders fetched McGonagall.

"Mr. Black, I must say, I am appalled," she quipped, standing over the bed, arms crossed and chin tipped up regally. "This is most irresponsible and just plain childish. This is the last day of your life at Hogwarts and you haven't the decency to drag yourself up for the ceremony. I barely tolerated your tardiness to my class, but this I will not have!"

Sirius grumbled something into his pillow.

"Lift your head," she commanded sharply.

"I don't want to leave," he groaned again, doing as she said this time.

"Well, too bad!" she snapped. "You are an adult, Mr. Black. It is time to face adulthood. Now, get up, before I do so by force."

"Listen, McGooglyLovePants," Sirius said, rolling onto his back with a grunt. "I'm going to level with you. I hate school. I hate learning. But I love Hogwarts. Every happy memory I have of my life was spent here. I met my best mates here, I lost my virginity here, and I fell in love here. So I am not leaving."

"That's preposterous," McGonagall said, her voice getting shrill. "You can't just stay here forever!"

"Watch me," Sirius challenged. "The ghosts do it, you do it, so why can't I?"

"You are not dead and you are not a professor, that is why."

"Then I'll become a professor."

"God save us," McGonagall huffed, taking off her glasses and rubbed her eyes.

"Or I'll toss myself off of the Astronomy Tower."

"Mr. Black! I -"

"How about this," Sirius said, rolling back onto his belly. "I will leave the room if you can convince Hermione to come talk to me."

"Miss Granger?"

"Do you know any other Hermiones?"

"Well, no, but -"

"Please, McGooglummyYummys?" Sirius said with a pathetic pout.

There was a long pause and McGonagall finally said, "I cannot believe I'm doing this..."

...

"I cannot believe you are holding yourself hostage," Hermione said as she walked in, wearing were nice robes for graduation. The silly pointed hat was in her hand.

Sirius shrugged and rolled to his side. "I'm not terribly fond of ceremonies and things like that. I figured I'd cause a ruckus and maybe they'd exempt me from having to attend."

Smirking begrudgingly, Hermione walked over and sat on the edge of James's bed, the nearest to Sirius. "So why are you using me as a bartering tool in this antic you're having?"

"Well, I suspect my mates think this 'meltdown' has something to do with you, so I thought that if I called you up, that they wouldn't suspect I'm actually just a lazy arse," Sirius explained.

"Ah, I see," she said, nodding.

"Stay a while," he said, tucking his hands behind his head. "I don't plan on leaving anytime soon, so you might as well hang around."

With a sigh and an eye roll, Hermione undid the clasp of her robe at her neck and shifted out of it. "How long do you plan to stall this?"

"Until there is absolutely no time for me to get ready, so about a half hour more."

Hermione looked around the room. Gone were the posters and photos, stripped from the walls, and probably backed into the trunks at the foot of all four beds. The only thing that told visitors that this once belonged to the Marauders was that Sirius was still in his damn bed, half naked.

"So... want to snog?" Sirius asked. "For old time's sake?"

"I don't think that would be wise," Hermione said with a blush.

Sirius shrugged. "Why not? Am I not sexy anymore?"

Hermione snorted. "Quit fishing for compliments. It's unbecoming."

"So I _am_ sexy."

Hermione chuckled. "Yes, Sirius. You are 'sexy'. Are you satisfied?"

"Not until you've snogged me."

Hermione sighed for what felt like the hundredth time. "No, Sirius. It's not going to happen. Why do you even want to? You've been doing well enough in the romance department without me." Her voice tightened every so slightly towards the end.

"Not particularly."

"You snogged Cynthia Curtis the other day," she pointed out.

"No I didn't," Sirius said, brow furrowed. "Has she been saying that? She asked me if I wanted to, but I told her that her eyes were too far apart."

"That's awful," Hermione chided.

He ignored her scolding voice and said, "I haven't kissed a single girl since I last kissed you."

"Why not?" Hermione asked, her heart giving a flutter.

"Haven't felt like it, really," Sirius said. "Which is ridiculous because I normally love kissing girls. It's one of my favorite activities. But I just... don't want to lately."

"You're probably feeling uneasy because you're leaving school," Hermione explained. "It's a big world out there and now you have to -"

"No, it's nothing like that," Sirius said with a sigh. "I just miss you."

A part of Hermione's chest ached when he said that. She wanted nothing more than to return the sentiment, but she couldn't voice it to him. She did miss him, though. A lot.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Don't worry about it," he replied. "Once I leave this place, I'll hardly have time to think about you."

So... that hurt, Hermione thought, but he wasn't saying it to be malicious. Just matter-of-fact. He would be starting his life, looking for a career, moving forward, and with all of that, there would be no room in his day to think about her.

It stung, yes, and Hermione wish she could say that she wouldn't have time to think about him, either, but she knew that would be a lie. Every waking moment would be clouded with him and the "what ifs".

And when - if - she returned to the future, she'd always look at the older Sirius and wonder if he remembered her or if she'd faded away with time in his head.

It would be just shy of twenty years lapsed for him, but only moments for her if the Time Key worked. The pain would be fresh for Hermione.

Chewing her bottom lip, Hermione said, "Sirius, I... miss you too."

His only response was a soft, lopsided smile.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Will the Time Key work, you think? 3. What will happen next for Sirius and Hermione?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	24. The Time Key

A/N. Someone asked last chapter what Peter Pan quote did I have tattooed on me. It's my most recent one, actually, and it says, "You know that place between sleep & awake where you still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting."

I was also asked where my Deathly Hallows symbol tattoo is - it is on my ankle. They also asked what made me get it. Simply, Harry Potter has been the one constant in my life since I was seven years old. It is a permanent fixture in my life, and it always will be, so I had NO hesitation in getting it *smiles*

Resa Fun Fact:

At fifteen, I was the lead singer in a band called A.M.I. with my friends. We consisted of a guitarist, a keyboardist, a drummer, a sax-player, and me. We broke up once we couldn't sign up for our school's Battle of the Bands because we only knew one song... which happened to be Bad Romance by Lady Gaga.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Twenty-Four: The Time Key

And so the Marauders' final year at Hogwarts ended rather famously. Between Sirius Black holding himself hostage and the fireworks under the professors' seats going off, it was a day to remember. Hermione had returned to the Great Hall just in time to see the explosions of light, McGonagall shaking her head disapprovingly, and Lily and James sharing an enthusiastic, celebratory kiss. Peter's fists were in the air victoriously, jumping up and down, and Remus was laughing joyfully before catching sight of Hermione and approaching her with a big smile.

"Well," Remus said over the noise of the crowds, hands stuffed in his pockets, "I can only apologize - this can't be how you imagined your last year of school going, eh?"

Hermione shook her head, chuckling. "No, I suppose not. But no need to apologize. It was an adventure, wasn't it?"

Remus nodded and laughed to himself. "I hope... I hope that whatever's waiting for you in France treats you well, Hermione. I know you'll do great things." He only hesitated a moment before opening his arms.

Hermione was overwhelmed by the first familiarity she'd felt in a long time. In that moment, Hermione could almost imagine that it was Professor Lupin standing there, waiting tentatively for a hug. Hermione accepted quickly, throwing her arms around his chest and holding tight.

"I'll miss you, Remus," Hermione said.

"I'll miss you too," he said, patting her back and giving her a friendly squeeze.

Hermione said goodbye to James, Lily, and Peter as well. Each time she hugged one of them, she closed her eyes and tried to remember how they felt, what they hugged like, so that someday she might be able to tell Harry - not Peter, though. She got that over with as soon as possible.

Hermione didn't quite say a proper goodbye to Sirius. She saw him that day while the rest of the Great Hall were cheering and hugging, that he stood at the very back of the room, leaning in the entrance, with a smile on his face. She'd waved to him, he'd waved back, and that was the last interaction they had before everyone left for the summer.

Watching everyone pack and leave was depressing for Hermione, especially as she herself had to pretend to pack while receiving dozens of well-wishings from her dorm mates, while she put on a fake smile and thanked them and returning the sentiments. One, big, massive deception. She'd be giving hugs to people she'd learned to care about, promising to write, when she knew she never would. She would pile lie on top of lie until Hermione almost couldn't tell truth from fact anymore.

Right before Lily went to board the train, she gripped Hermione in a vice tight hug, so hard it almost hurt. Shocked by the young woman's sudden desperation, Hermione quickly hugged back, trying to return the fervor. Until... she felt the dampness on her neck.

"Lily... are you crying?" Hermione asked.

"Just a bit," Lily murmured. "I'm just... I'm just a little weepy lately. Leaving school, leaving friends, leaving you. It feels like too much too soon. I mean, for Merlin's sake, I'm moving in with James soon! I'm only seventeen, Hermione! That kind of commitment isn't supposed to happen until after one has proper education, and a career, and a plan!"

Hermione could hear the panic in Lily's voice and knew immediately that the girl wasn't crying for Hermione, but crying for the unknown. Crying for the loss of her youth.

"Listen to me, Lily," Hermione said, gently untangling from Lily and repositioning her hands on the redhead's shoulders. Hermione looked her straight in her bright green, watering eyes. "You and James aren't a childhood romance. You are the love that people hunt and kill for in this world. He may seem like a child, but... you have to trust him to grow. He will take care of you, Lily."

With a wobbling chin, Lily nodded.

"Don't be afraid," Hermione told her firmly. "You're a Gryffindor, remember? And Head Girl. Just because you'd graduated, doesn't mean you have any less of your courage and intelligence."

Lily chuckled through her tears and rubbed at her eyes. "You'll write me, won't you, Hermione?"

God, this was hard, Hermione thought. Lily was looking her straight-on, with tears forming and a hopeful expression. How could Hermione bring herself to lie again, to Lily? It felt like she was lying to Harry, which made it even worse.

Just one more lie, Hermione told herself. Just one more. "Of course I will," Hermione said thickly.

Lily smiled beautifully. And Hermione wanted nothing more than to cry.

...~oOo~...

The Time Key looked simple enough. It wasn't like a Portkey in the sense that it could be in any form. Instead, it was a rather large brass hourglass with enchanted crystal beads inside instead of sand, and filled with thick blue liquid that reminded Hermione curiously of a lava lamp with its thick bubbles. The beads floated around, but kept to their own ends of the glass. It was the size of an average goblet and hummed quietly with magic.

It sat on Dumbledore's desk and looked at-home with the various other strange trinkets that the Headmaster had collected over time around the room. Next to it sat the Time-Turner, looking like a much smaller cousin to the Time Key.

Hermione was wearing the dress that she'd arrived to the year 1977 in, the same she'd worn to Bill and Fleur's wedding. She was hoping to be able to pick up almost exactly where she left, so as to not cause any confusion or suspicion.

"I did all the necessary charms and enchantments while you were saying goodbye to your friends," Dumbledore told her, resting a hand on the time instrument. "It is programmed to coordinate the number of full turns with years and half-turns with months. It is not sensitive to the number of days. Seeing as it is July third, you will give twenty full spins and then one half-turn, bringing you to August third, 1997. You will then use the Time-Turner to bring yourself back the two days you missed, back to August first where you can return to the point of which the last Time-Turner broke."

It was simple enough, really. Flip the big hourglass twenty-and-some times, then spin the little one forty-eight times. Should be easy as pie.

Well, easy if they knew exactly what the unpredictable Time Key would do.

The Time Key was still in an experimental phase. Their prototype worked with days and months, but it would be too risky to test something that could leap forward (and back) years. They had hundreds of Arithmancy equations that said it worked. They had logic telling them that it may not.

But Hermione was going to suppress the part of her brain that said it was a bad idea and do what she had to.

Hermione set the book that started this whole mess on Dumbledore's desk. _The Trick_ had been a scintillating, insightful read, but in the long run it had caused nothing but trouble. When Marley spoke to her about it, Hermione had expected some sort of revelation or a hidden key to ending the Second War.

But it did neither. Instead, a bookcase fell on top of her and knocked her back to before the text was even published. Even when she read it, there was nothing that made her jump up and down in excitement. Just... a lot of deaths. Deaths that Hermione couldn't prevent. It made her feel... miserable, knowing that she was just going to have to let it all happen.

But now, at least, she wasn't going to sit around and watch it all. She was going to go forward, back to where she belonged, and do what she could to help Harry defeat Voldemort.

"This..." Hermione said, her fingers resting on the book, "is a thorough record of everything that will happen in this war. It isn't written or published yet, so it contains information that shouldn't be exposed in this timeline. I would like it if you destroyed it."

Dumbeldore raised one white eyebrow. "Why not just bring it back with you?"

"I don't want to see it ever again," Hermione said slowly. "It's caused too much trouble already."

The old man picked it up and looked at the cover. "Interesting. But I promise that it will be ash soon after your departure."

"Thank you," Hermione said with a deep breath.

Seeing how hard this moment was, Dumbledore wrapped his arms around Hermione in a fatherly hug. Hermione hugged back, squeezing her eyes shut, and saying a silent goodbye to the Headmaster a second time. It was like she was at his funeral all over again. A single tear fell from her eye, but she quickly flicked it off and lifted her chin up high as they separated.

"I wish you the best of luck, Hermione," he said as he handed the Time Key and slipped the Turner over her head. "And remember, you could never have changed this past, Hermione, but I have confidence that you can change your future, wherever that may be."

With a short nod, Hermione said, "Goodbye, Headmaster."

And she flipped the Time Key for the first time and all of the crystal beads began to glow...

...~oOo~...

"What do you guys think Hermione will do in France?" Lily asked.

They'd been sitting in their compartment on the Hogwarts Express, enjoying a reflective span of silence when Lily asked the question. James's arm was draped around her shoulders, Peter sitting on the other side of him, playing with one of those sliding puzzles. Remus and Sirius sat across from them - Remus with a book, Sirius staring out the window.

They all looked to Lily and considered the question for a moment.

Remus was the one to say, "Probably do something in the wizarding government over there. She's smart enough to polish their laws and improve how weak their justice department is."

Peter said, "I think she'll write a book. She likes books. A lot."

"Or she'll get married," James reflected. "Have a few kids, gain a ton of weight, and hate herself before going through a bitter divorce where her kids will learn to hate her even though their father was a cheating bastard."

They all stared at James for a length.

"That's terrible," Lily said, biting her lip. "Anyway, if anything like that happened to her, we'd go and make sure it didn't get so awful, bring her back to England. We'd take care of her."

"She won't write, you know," Sirius said. He didn't say it rudely, just factually.

Lily looked at him sternly. "Yes, she will."

Sirius was shaking his head. "She won't. She'll make it so its a clean break. She'll disappear from our lives forever, and she'll be that one person from school that we'll all think of from time to time, wondering 'if only I knew what happened to her'..."

With a sigh, Lily said, "I hope not."

"We'll see her again," Remus said confidently. "I know we will. It may not be for a long time, but... we will. Someday."

"Let's all start a letter right now," Lily said, standing from the bench and reaching up on her tip-toes to get her trunk from over them and popping it open to get out parchment and a quill. "We'll send them the moment we get off the train so that it gets to her by the time she arrives in France."

They all murmured their consent before accepting blank parchment and quills. The cabin fell into silence once more as they all began their letters to Hermione.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Did the Time Key work? 3. Pick one Marauder (and Lily) and say what you think they told Hermione in their letter.

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	25. Tempus Error

A/N. A lot of you were sad last chapter. I'm sorry :( Hopefully this one cheers you guys up!

Resa Fun Fact:

When I was sixteen, I learned how to read palms and read tarot, which actually made quite a bit of cash. I have two tarot decks, still, and plan to get more soon.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Twenty-Five: Three Letters and an Attack

When Hermione landed after the tornado that the Time Key put her through, it wasn't what one would call graceful. She landed face-first on a very uncomfortable rug. With a groan, Hermione's head continued to spin, and her nose started bleeding.

"Ouch..." she whimpered, sitting up very slowly, one wrist pressed under her nose. Once the room stopped moving, she lifted her head and saw that she was in Dumbledore's Office, just as she expected to be.

And when she turned to the desk to hopefully find McGonagall, she found...

Dumbledore.

Oh, no. No, no, no!

One of two things must have happened, she concluded after a minute.

One - her trip back in time somehow altered the timeline so that Dumbledore survived.

Or two - the Time Key didn't work.

Somehow, she had a feeling it was the latter.

"Hermione," Dumbledore said with mild surprise, which worried Hermione deeply. Albus Dumbledore was never surprised by _anything_. _Ever_. "I certainly wasn't expecting to see you so... soon."

Hermione let out a heavy sigh and rolled onto her back. The Time Key had majorly exhausted her and every inch of her felt like it'd been melted off. Her bones felt like dust and even her hair follicles ached.

"What year is it?" Hermione inquired begrudgingly.

"1979," he reported with a frown. "The fourth of March to be precise."

Hermione uttered a swear that she was not proud of. Rubbing her eyes with shaky hands, Hermione said, "So... if my calculations are correct... instead of the Time Key transporting me 20 years and one month... it transported me 20 months and one day."

"That would seem so," Dumbledore said, his brow furrowed, looking very troubled. "Are you in much pain, dear? I could call Poppy."

"I think I'll be fine in a moment, sir," Hermione said, though she doubted it. "If its alright with you, my lying here."

"Take as much time as you need," he said sincerely.

"Thank you," she replied on a painful breath. "For the record, that contraption... is very... dangerous." Her vision was fluctuating between clear and blurry like a camera lens that just wouldn't adjust.

When Dumbledore next spoke, it was like hearing him through a tunnel, "Hermione... I do not think you are alright." His face appeared in her view, like a floating head as the darkness crept in and swallowed him and the rest of the room.

Hermione blacked out.

...

When Hermione next woke up, she was in the Infirmary. It reminded her faintly of her Second Year at Hogwarts, the sensation of being un-petrified, the tingly feeling of it and the recognition that something important happened, but not being able to put her finger on it right away.

Sitting up was easy enough for Hermione, her bones no longer feeling as useless as puddles. Her vision was clear again, too, but she had a rather large migraine.

"Oh, you're awake!" Madame Pomfrey said, making Hermione's ears ring with the sudden noise of the woman's voice. Her ears were obviously still sensitive.

Frankly, it felt like she had a particularly unpleasant hangover.

"How do you feel, dear?" the medi-witch asked, rushing over while uncorking a potion vial. She handed it to Hermione.

"Better than I did before," Hermione said softly before drinking the potion, her nose scrunching. It tasted like pineapple and mud. But, thankfully, it eased her headache very quickly. She sighed with relief.

"Do you remember what happened?"

Hermione said, "Yes. I passed out in the Headmaster's office."

"Indeed," Poppy answered. "Albus will be here soon himself, I reckon. He'll want to talk to you."

As if on cue, Dumbledore walked through the doors of the Infirmary, wearing purple and blue robes with shiny jewels on the collar. He looked worried, but seemed glad that Hermione was awake.

"I'm happy to see you looking so much better," Dumbledore said, standing at her bedside. "When you showed up in my office, you didn't look much better than a corpse. But now, you have your color back, thanks to Poppy."

Hermione nodded and gave a weak smile.

"Poppy, if you will give us a minute?"

"Of course, Albus," Poppy said. "But make sure not to upset her," she added firmly before making her way to her office.

Hermione sighed and said, "I'm sorry, sir, I don't know what went wrong, but -"

Dumbledore held up a hand before she could go on a tirade. "Devices such as the Time Key are often unpredictable and unreliable. The moment you disappeared from my office, I very much regretted sending you. I should have known better than to allow you to use something so early in the experimentation process and I apologize deeply for risking your health and life." He rested one of her wrinkled hands on hers. "But we've learned from our mistake and know not to try something so dangerous again."

"But, Headmaster, perhaps if we went back to the equations and cauldron -"

"I won't hear it, Hermione," Dumbledore said, firmer. "Unless we find a way to send you forward that is absolutely concrete, I won't allow you to attempt the Time Key again. Magical devices are developed over decades and centuries. Nicholas Flamel's stone wasn't forged overnight. You may keep at the research, but human trials are out of the question."

With a sigh, Hermione nodded reluctantly.

"Now," Dumbledore went on, "before you used the Time Key, I did construct a plan if you were to arrive before we expected, so do not worry. I've just contacted my friend who owns Floruish and Blotts and he is happy to have you as his tenant in the flat above the store."

Hermione blinked a few times. "I'm sorry, sir, but... I'm confused. Shouldn't I go out of the country? So I won't disturb the timeline?"

"I do believe we've been through this, my dear," Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eyes, a gentle smile. "I don't believe you can."

Hermione wasn't sure she agreed. But nodded anyway.

"I see your doubt, Hermione, but have trust in yourself," Dumbledore said, giving her hand a squeeze. "You have the power to preserve this timeline, and I believe you can."

"Thank you, sir."

"Poppy wants to keep you here for another day or so, just to make sure that you are healthy," Dumbledore said, "but these belong to you, and I think you'll appreciate the reading material." From his robes he withdrew a stack of envelopes.

Just by the handwriting on the back of each envelope, Hermione knew who they were from. The Marauders... Lily... and Hermione's heart broke when she found the wedding invitation among them.

"I've missed a lot, haven't I?" Hermione asked quietly.

Dumbledore nodded. "I'll leave you to your reading. Once you're feeling up to it, there is a very temperamental kneazle in my office that misses you terribly. Also, she's been trying to eat Fawkes's tail feathers, which he does not appreciate." He turned and, humming to himself, exited the hospital wing.

...~oOo~...

_Dear Hermione, _

_I miss you dearly. James and Sirius think you're not answering our letters on purpose, but I just think that lacking a proper address might make sending mail a bit difficult. This is my third letter to you, and I do think I'll refrain from sending you another until I get a reply. After all, if these aren't even getting to you, it's only a waste of parchment, right?_

_Alice and I had tea the other day and started making a scrapbook of our school days when we realized that you still had the one of Sirius having the bucket of slugs fall on his head! I really hope you could send a copy? You must come visit soon and see how the scrapbook is coming along. We've incorporated articles from the school paper - remember the one from Valentine's Day? Where Sirius and James gave terrible interviews? - and we asked Sirius for the photo from the night where he filled the Quidditch pitch with flowers for you, but he refused to part with it. We told him how a duplicating charm works, but he pretended to be suddenly distracted by something shiny. _

_James has proposed! Perhaps I should have led with that? Oh, well! Isn't it marvelous? We're hoping for a spring wedding! When a date is set, I'll send you an invitation! _

_How is France? Is it beautiful? I've been pestering James to take a visit and use the Ministry records to find your address, but he's being grouchy because Sirius is grouchy, thus making Remus rather grouchy (now that those two are flat mates, they run on each other's moods like clockwork) and Peter just doesn't understand why all his friends are such grumpy old men. _

_Sirius misses you. He'd never admit it, but he does. James said Sirius hasn't taken the picture of you out of his wallet and Remus says that he's been very lonely. _

_I truly hope you receive this letter. And my others. _

_Your Friend, _

_Lily_

_..._

_Bad Hair, _

_You haven't replied to any of our letters or any of Lily's. I can only assume that this means you want to forget us, but too damn bad, I'm not letting that happen. I am going to continue to send you letters until they fly in through your chimney and windows and mail slot, until they flood your house and you'll have no choice but answer them. _

_I'm a little drunk. Not a lot, but enough to make me write this letter and not enough to impair my writing, or at least... I don't think my writing is impaired. I'll have Moony proofread this for me, just to make sure. _

_I wanted to let you know that I found a girl. Well, a whole bunch of them really. And to let you know that I _**have **_kissed someone since you and I liked it, dammit! No guilt, at all. I am practically a new man! Hermione, who? I ask. _

_Well... "Hermione, you", I suppose would be the answer to that question. _

_I live with Remus now, which is a right bore. He's so... organized. It drives me mad. I mean... who actually folds their laundry? Really? I mean, besides you. My wardrobe has seen better days, I admit... like when you used to fold and press my uniforms and hang them up, and match my socks, and put little notes in my shoes so I could find them the next morning, saying cute things like "Have a lovely day!" and "I have a kiss waiting just for you at breakfast!" And they'd have hearts and x's and o's. _

_Christ, I miss your x's and o's. _

_Don't tell James I said that. I sound like a ponce. _

_Please For The Love Of Merlin Answer Me, _

_Sirius Orion Black III_

_..._

_Hermione,_

_I have come to the grim conclusion that you are not going to answer me or Lily or Remus. But that's okay. You have better things to do, and so do we. School is over, we have to stop pretending like Hogwarts friendships last forever. _

_So I've enclosed all of the pictures I have of us... Okay... _**most**_ of the pictures of us. I've kept a few, so what? Don't read into it like Remus, alright? I mean, whether I like it or not, you were part of my life once and keeping a few mementos is normal. _

_And if you're wondering why the one of you and I kissing under tree by the lake is missing, Remus wanted to keep it, I swear. He's a pervert. I, in no way, wanted to keep it. _

_Sincerely,_

_Sirius_

_PS. Okay, fine. Remus saw me write the last paragraph and is making me tell the truth - I kept the photo of us by the lake, not him. Happy, Moony?_

...~oOo~...

There were others, and Hermione had read through them a dozen times, mostly when she sat in her new flat at night when it was dim and she was feeling lonely. Hermione looked over at her clock. It was about two in the morning and the window in her bedroom was open, looking out over the street of Diagon Alley. The road was barren that time of night, except for the occasional drunken wizard stumbling out of the Leaky down the road.

Lifting herself out of bed, Hermione walked over to the window in her pajamas - a matching blue bottom and button-up top set that James got her for Christmas, the weirdo - and leaned on the sill, looking out over the town. She could see the lights and faintly hear the frivolity at the pub. It was a cool spring night, and Hermione was enjoying the feeling of a breeze running through her curls and against her cheeks.

And then she saw a portly little man leave the pub and walking towards her end of the street, singing rather loudly and off-key, slurring his words together. The man zig-zagged in the center of the road, looking quite pathetic.

And then Hermione thought she saw something out of the corner of her eye in one of the alleys that were not illuminated by the street lights. Hermione watched closer, wondering if she was just so tired that she was seeing things, but then there was more movement and she saw them.

There were two of them. Two men, dressed in black, but not Death Eater black - just ragged trousers and old jumpers with hats. They each carried their wands in their hands, following behind the drunk at a safe distance. Hermione knew exactly what was happening.

There'd been a series of late-night muggings going on in Diagon Alley as of late. But with all of the attacks on Muggles and muggle-borns, they hadn't gotten much press, so people were bound to be sloppy.

Acting on impulse, Hermione snatched her wand, but by the time she did, the men had accosted the drunk and began firing curses. And with a flick on her wand, Hermione Apparated right into the thick of it.

She threw up a shield around the victim and began taking on the two men dressed in black on her own. It wasn't easy.

"Look whose come out to play!" the shorter of the two men laughed in a raspy voice, sending a nasty hex at her.

"And in her cute jammies, no less," the taller added with a short cackle. Just then, one of her curses nicked his arm and he hissed. "For that, little girl, I think you'll need to be punished."

With no warning, the two men charged her physically. She hadn't been prepared for that and let out a short scream before she was grabbed and her mouth was covered. Meanwhile, the drunken man was pounding on the bubble she'd encased him in, impenetrable from the outside or inside.

The taller had her in a tight, full-body hold while the other was holding his hair close to the scalp, preventing her from moving her head at all.

"Lemmegooo," Hermione screamed against the one's hand. But with a flick of the shorter man's wand, no words could emerge from her mouth. She'd been silenced.

If she couldn't speak, then she was going to make sure she was heard in a different way. Hermione started flailing and kicking vigorously, wiggling and scratching. If she was going to be taken, she wasn't going to go easily.

"OI! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" a voice called from down the road. With Hermione's hair in such a tight hold, she look to see who it was, but the voice was definitely familiar.

"Let them both go!" another voice added strongly. "Now."

Her captor flipped her around so that her back was to his chest, and his wand to her throat. The shorter of the men did the same with the drunken man after popping the bubble around him.

And Hermione gasped when she saw who it was, baring their wands at her attackers. She was also kind of shocked to see who it was she'd been attempting to save.

Peter Pettigrew was drunk as a skunk, no doubt about it, making him useless. And while Sirius, James, and Remus all were flushed with was probably a hefty amount of Firewhiskey, they still stood surprisingly tall and firm with their wands.

All of their eyes widened at seeing who the girl was though.

"Hermione?" Sirius blurted out without thinking.

"Ah, so you know her! Perfect!" the attacker with the raspy voice said. "Then here's the deal. The girl and the idiot for all of your wallets."

"Seems like a fair enough trade," James said with a shrug, digging into his pocket. Remus and Sirius nodded and began doing the same.

"You idiots!" Hermione said on a huff, but was quickly silenced by a punch to the stomach and a covered mouth. The man's large, beefy hand covered most of her nose, too making it hard to breathe.

Before the boys could hand over their wallets, Hermione bit down hard on the man's hand, making him yelp in surprise, and then elbowing him in the gut and twisting his wrist, wrenching the wand from his hand and yanking herself away, the man's wand now turned on him.

Hermione was suddenly very grateful for those self-defense classes she took with her mother when she was thirteen.

Hermione shot a sleeping charm on the man she'd just escaped from and in the same second cast a full-body bind on the one holding Peter. The man dropped to the ground with a loud thud and Peter scampered away, terrified.

"Really?" Hermione demanded loudly once she spun on the boys. "You are wizards, you dolts! Use your wands for Merlin's sake!"

"Hermione, what are you doing here?" Sirius asked, ignoring her rant. "Aren't you supposed to be in France?"

"Yeah!" James said with a scowl. "My wife - she's my wife now, did you know? - has been worried sick about you and you have the nerve to just -"

"Welcome back, Hermione," Remus added with a grin.

"Can we please worry about the two criminals lying in front of us right now, and get on to all of the explanations and greetings later?" Hermione said, her voice an octave higher than usual. Her adrenaline was still pumping, panic still squeezing her heart.

"Alright, so..." James mused, looking at the two men thoughtfully. "We kill them, dump their bodies and then -"

Losing her last shred of patience, Hermione exploded, "I MEANT, CONTACT THE AURORS!"

"Ohhhh" they all said, and "That makes more sense" and "Yes, that would probably be easier..." and "Preferable, even".

Apparently, some things never changed.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What do you think Hermione will tell the Marauders, concerning her mystery disappearance? 3. What will Sirius's reaction to seeing Hermione again?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	26. Pretend

A/N. I'm glad so many of you enjoyed the last chapter! I enjoyed writing it *smiles*. This, however, is kind of a filler. I just wanted to accentuate how awkward this is for all parties involved. Remus is happy to have his friend back, Sirius has no clue how to react (and it definitely shows), and James is just... well, James. And Peter is thankfully asleep for most of this chapter, the little bastard.

Resa Fun Fact:

I dislike Christmas music. A lot. I LOVE the holiday, don't get me wrong, but Christmas music (and movies) set my teeth on edge. I don't even know why.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Twenty-Six: Pretend

"This is... er... a nice place you've got here, 'Mione," James said slowly, walking the full length of the living area three times, as is measuring up just how small it actually was.

"I know its tiny," Hermione said as she poured tea into five cups. The kitchenette was open, so Hermione could watch the Marauders all from the counter.

Sirius was doing the same fidgety dance as James, only focusing his pacing in a corner. Remus was lounging in the sofa seat next to the fireplace and Peter sat on the couch, looking half asleep with his feet up on the coffee table.

"But its home... for now," Hermione went on, carrying the tray out into the living room. She gently nudged Peter's feet off the table - okay, maybe not quite 'gently' - but the lump of a man barely did anything in response.

"So, what?" Sirius said shortly. "You've just been here the whole time and said nothing about it?"

"Not quite," Hermione said, choosing her words carefully. "I actually only moved in here three days ago. And the day before that was when I received all of your letters. I'm very sorry that I didn't get them sooner."

"You aren't making a very good case for yourself," Sirius said when he picked up his tea and sniffed at it suspiciously. "You've had our letters for four days and you haven't thought to answer us?"

"I didn't know how you would react," Hermione said, trying to sound reasonable. "I've been gone for a long time and to just abruptly answer out of the blue... It would be strange, wouldn't it? And knowing you, Sirius, you'd burn the envelope before you even opened it. I was going to wait until I could see all of you in person."

"Well... here we are," Remus said with a lopsided, encouraging smile. "In person. Where've you been, Hermione?"

Hermione looked around to each face. Remus looked prepared to listen to whatever she had to say, James was trying and failing to seem nonchalant but really he was curious as hell, Sirius looked unhappy and stared at a discolored patch of carpet. Peter had fallen asleep.

"I was... doing work for Dumbledore," Hermione said. Then added, "In France. Every letter sent never reached be because Dumbledore intersected any correspondence for me to prevent my position from being compromised."

"Wait. What?"

"Dumbledore? Your position on what?"

"I'm too drunk to understand any of this!"

Dumbledore told her that Hermione had to earn the Marauders' trust once more if she was going to be the one to preserve their futures and the easiest way to do that was demonstrate Dumbledore's trust in her. To make them see that she can be relied on and was on the same side as they were - that she was fighting on their side in the war.

Nothing brought people together like a common cause.

In the same breath, she wanted to just go back to whatever country that wasn't England. The Marauders history was simultaneously a glorious and horrifying one. By preserving their futures, Hermione was condemning them. James and Lily to death. Sirius to Azkaban. Remus to loneliness and heartbreak.

And Peter to a being a traitor and spoiled pet rat.

Hermione suddenly very much resented saving Peter from those muggers. Not that she had noticed it was him at the time, but a piece of her really wished she wasn't the Gryffindor she was and had just let those men take care of Peter.

And then, of course, there was the guilt of knowing that she kind of wished that. She tried to reason with herself that Peter deserved it, but it still left a sour taste in her mouth.

"Maybe you should all get some sleep before we tackle this," Hermione said. "Unfortunately, I can't afford the Floo, so... you can all sleep here if you'd like? There are two bedrooms and the couches."

"Lily is gonna kill me," James groaned. "Do you have an owl, perhaps?"

"Ah, yes," Hermione said. She went to her bedroom and brought back out a tiny barn owl perched on her forearm. He'd been a present from Dumbledore when she returned. "And here's some parchment and a quill."

Peter sputtered awake from some dream, uttering the words, "No, no, you stupid cat!" with his nose twitching. Once he saw where he was, he mumbled something no one heard.

"Come on, Pete, let's get you into the spare bed, mate," Sirius said, hoisting Peter up under his arms. Pete complied and allowed himself to be walked down the small hall.

Hermione noticed Sirius studiously avoiding eye contact with her, but decided to ignore it. He was probably feeling off-kilter between being drunk and stumbling upon someone he planned on never seeing again.

"You're welcome to use my bedroom, James," Hermione said once he'd sent the owl away. "You look dead on your feet."

"I couldn't -"

"Please," Hermione said. "It would make me feel better if you slept in a bed."

After a long pause, James said, "Alright. I'll share with Sirius, then. It'll feel just like that summer we went camping." He chuckled to himself and strolled towards the hall, calling out, "Pads! Bedtime, mate!"

Then it was only Hermione and Remus left in the living room.

"Are you upset with me?" Hermione asked.

"Naw," he answered. "Like I said, I always knew we'd meet again."

"I think you're drunk, Remus," Hermione said as he reached out and snatched her hand, pulling her onto his lap.

"Not quite," he said, hugging her tightly. "Just very cold."

Laughing quietly to herself, Hermione rested her head on Remus's shoulder hesitantly. She sighed. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," he said. "And so did the guys. Especially Sirius. Don't tell him I told you, but for a while he tried to fill the empty part of his heart with a full bed, if you know what I mean. He got over that, thank Merlin. And I think he got over you, but now he's just questioning everything that made him get over you, you know?"

Hermione raised and eyebrow, prompting him to expand.

"He told himself that you were ignoring us," Remus said, "said that you were never cared and never meant any of what you said, like writing letters and such. He was convinced that he was better off without you, and so it was easier for him to get over you. And now that he knows that none of that was true, he's wondering why he stopped loving you."

"I just hope he doesn't fancy himself in love with me again," Hermione said, even though it wasn't true.

Sirius had almost two whole years to forget about Hermione. For her, it'd been less than a week and the heartbreak of leaving him was still raw. But when the Time Key hadn't worked, that involuntary hope rushed up in her chest that maybe, just maybe, she and Sirius could...

But it was too long, in reality, to start the process over. As Remus said, Sirius was over her, and it was better if it stayed that way. She had to preserve the future, and the future held nothing between them.

"He probably won't, don't worry," Remus told her, rubbing her back in comforting circles. "He's got a girlfriend now that he's quite smitten with."

"Oh," she whispered, her cheek nestled up against Remus's neck. But she felt the tears come and hurriedly blinked them away. She had no business wanting Sirius back. This whole mess was her fault in the first place. "That's nice. How about you? Any special women that would be jealous of my opportunity to cuddle up on their boyfriend's lap?" she asked teasingly, trying to lighten her voice.

Remus snorted. "Not really. I dated that girl from Honeyduke's last year, but it didn't work out."

"That's too bad, Remus."

"It's alright," he said with a shrug. "Maybe someday I'll find someone right for me."

"You will," Hermione promised. With a secret smile, she saw a very pregnant Nymphadora in her mind's eyes. It would be a long time, but eventually the eccentric, clumsy woman would capture Remus's heart, and it would all be worth it.

After a while, Hermione couldn't help but ask. "Remus, what's Sirius's girlfriend's name, if you don't mind me asking?"

There was a silence and Hermione was suddenly nervous. "That bad, eh? Is it someone from school?"

When he still didn't answer, Hermione tipped her chin up to look at him and found that his eyes were shut and the rumble in his chest was the beginnings of a snore. With a smile, Hermione silently told him goodnight and shut her eyes herself, happy to have her friend back.

...~oOo~...

Pacing back and forth - even if her living room left little to no space for pacing - Sirius Black decided he didn't like this, not one bit. Not even a little bit.

Well, it wasn't that he liked Hermione back, for he liked that a little too much in retrospect. He simply did _not _like waking up in Hermione's room next to the over-cuddly James, coming out to make some coffee, and finding Remus and Hermione all snuggled up like a pair of koalas when there was a perfectly acceptable couch _right there_ that one of them could have slept on - _separate_ from the other.

He didn't like. He didn't like it one bit.

Eventually, he'd had it with waiting for them to wake of their own accord. Instead, he, very loudly, exclaimed, "OI! YOU TWO! WAKE THE FUCK UP!"

And they did. Quite spontaneously. They both jumped half a foot, their hearts stammering and their breath coming in quick pants. Actually, Remus had wrenched with such force that Hermione was knocked from his lap and onto the floor.

"Oof," she huffed. She sat up off the ground and snapped sleepily, "What was that for?"

"Coffee," Sirius lied quickly. "I... couldn't find it in the kitchen."

"It's on the counter," Hermione told him, brow furrowed. "In a can next to the percolator."

"Thanks," he said simply, then marching towards the kitchen.

"I hate you," Remus moaned at Sirius.

"Yeah, well, should have thought about that before breaking the Code," Sirius said to him as he began measuring out the coffee grounds.

"Not this nonsense again," Remus grumbled, throwing an arm over his eyes.

Picking herself up from the ground, Hermione walked towards the kitchen to help Sirius in preparing breakfast. "What's the Code?" she asked, hoping to keep conversation civil.

"For the love of God, don't ask," Remus said.

"It's nothing," Sirius said, shaking his head and focusing intently on the coffee grounds. "Something that obviously means nothing to a certain idiot."

"You broke the Code too, you know." James walked in, barefoot and rumbled from sleep, pushing his glasses up onto his nose.

"I did no such thing!" Sirius refuted.

"Yes, you did," James said confidently, shaking out his messy hair with his hand. "Before you started dating Hermione, you told us that the Code said you couldn't because Peter fancied her first."

"Well, I made that up."

"Sirius, everything in the Code is made-up. By you."

"What is the Code?" Hermione asked again.

"The Marauders' Code," Remus said, hoisting himself off the couch and joining everyone in the kitchen. It had off-white tiles and beige walls with ugly cabinets and a really old refrigerator. "It's something Sirius came up with in school. Mostly he used it to justify the stupid things he did."

"Sounds like something Sirius would do," Hermione said with a soft smile.

Sirius frowned and said, "I'm right here. Anyway, I didn't break the Code. I'd lied. Peter didn't fancy her first - I did."

"Liar!" Hermione said, a little louder than she intended. "You hated me!"

"Fine like between love and hate, my dear," Sirius said, half to himself.

"That's such... well, for lack of a better word... bullshit!"

"Oh, so you're going to tell me how I felt, now?" Sirius quipped, facing Hermione for the first time that morning.

"No, I'm just telling you what you told me," Hermione shot back. "On multiple occasions, if you remember correctly? Including the first time you kissed me? 'I hate you' were not exactly uncommon words coming from you."

Sirius blinked. "I didn't... I didn't tell you I hated you the first time I kissed you... did I?"

Hermione nodded. _And it still hurts every time I think about it. _

James was shaking his head at Sirius. "Not cool, mate."

Strangely enough, Hermione took that moment it really look at Sirius for the first time since she saw him again. He looked older. Which, he was, but it was noticeable on him. Maybe it was his five o'clock shadow that was throwing her off, but he just seemed more adult.

Which kind of scared her because it meant two things. One, it was getting closer and closer to his incarceration. Two, he wasn't _her _Sirius anymore. Not the Peter Pan-like character she'd thought of him as, and not the schoolboy that used to touch her as often as possible and kiss her so sweetly.

He really was a man.

And so were Remus and James. They all looked different in small, subtle ways.

"I'm... I'm going to go out for some milk," Hermione said abruptly. "We're out."

And just as she grabbed her purse and began looking for her shoes, a certain ginger creature came out from her hiding place under the sink and began weaving her way around Sirius's feet, pawing at his ankles.

_"We're a family, you know," Sirius said, lying back on Hermione's bed in her dorm one afternoon in that cloud of happy they called spring, one hand resting behind his neck, the other stroking the kitten on his chest. _

_"Who is?" Hermione asked as she organized the clothes in her trunk. _

_"You, me, Dandelion," Sirius told her with a grin. "And the other Marauders, but they're more like awkward uncles and Lily's the domineering aunt. But you and I are the mummy and dad, see."_

_Hermione smirked. "So I gave birth to a cat?"_

_Sirius laughed loudly. "Yes. You and I consummated our marriage and made a cat. It's not too far-fetched, you have to admit. I've heard stranger."_

_Shaking her head, Hermione went to the side of the bed and sat next to him, Indian-style, joining him in petting what he liked to call "their" cat. But it made sense to her - Dandelion was never just hers, he'd always had a claim on her as well. And he was right, it was like being a mum and dad in a weird, very Sirius-like way._

_"Maybe someday, if we really put our heads to it, we'll make a human child," Sirius said in that half-teasing way of his where you knew he was half-serious. _

_Lying back and resting her head on his bicep, she sighed and said, "Maybe."_

The memory was gone as fast as it had come and Hermione took a deep breath before just leaving the house barefoot.

Sirius had dropped many hints during their relationship that made it clear he wanted the whole package deal with her - marriage, a house, kids... And Hermione had always known it'd never been able to happen, but it was nice to pretend for a little while.

But the time for pretending was over. Life was coming at her fast and hard, and she wasn't very prepared.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Who do you think Sirius's girlfriend is? 3. How is Sirius feeling, you think?

~ So Long And Thanks for All The Fish ~


	27. The Worst Lunch Ever

A/N. I'm losing steam, people. I dunno, but I feel my writing just isn't up to par lately. Someone, INSPIRE ME! Or something. Anything.

I have pregnancy brain, I know it. My child is killing my brain cells.

ANYWAY. With those of you that read TLM, I'm sure you are all familiar with the Incredibly Awkward Lunch Scene in that story. Well, good news! Here is another take on the Marauders' lunch with exes and jealousies and annoying blondes. **But I promise it will not be the same scenario, nor the same puns. **

Resa Fun Fact:

As far as heritage goes, I'm mostly Italian and Irish, which has its advantages. I got fair skin, red hair, and freckles, but in the summer instead of burning like a lobster, I get a nice, even golden tan. It's pretty awesome, I have to admit.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Worst Lunch Ever

"We're all having lunch together tomorrow," Remus told Hermione as he was getting ready to leave. "We try to do it every other week. It's a chance for us to see how everyone's doing."

"And am I to assume both Lily and Sirius's girlfriend will be there?" Hermione asked, hands wrapped around a mug of hot coffee. It was her third cup that day.

Remus nodded. "Yeah. Lily will love to see you. Sirius's girlfriend... probably not so much."

Raising a brow, Hermione said, "You never told me her name, you know, but I have a feeling I already know who it is."

"Tall, blonde, and tempting," Remus said, already knowing Hermione knew exactly who he was talking about. "I didn't think it was possible until I saw it myself, but Marlene McKinnon is even more voluptuous than she was in school."

"Lovely," Hermione said, forcing her voice to remain neutral. "And here I am... not even a little different. Not more appealing in the slightest, and if anything I've probably dropped a cup size."

Remus gave her a sympathetic grin. "Hermione, you're beautiful, never forget that. And you're intelligent."

"So is she," Hermione said, leaning against the wall. "Ravenclaw, remember?"

"That may be so, but she's also dating Sirius."

"_I_ dated Sirius," Hermione said with a groan. "Remus, I really don't think I want to go to this lunch. I'd love to see Lily, but if I have to watch Sirius and Marlene McKnockers feeling each other up for an hour, I don't think I could stomach it. I'll see Lily some other time."

"Be my date then," Remus said with a friendly smile. "We can feel each other up too."

Laughing into her mug, Hermione said, "A sweet offer, but I'm not sure. I'll think about it, okay?"

"Actually, you'd be doing me a favor," Remus confessed. "James and Lily are married, Sirius and Marlene are in lust, and Peter's got a girlfriend now, and she's a bit creepy to be honest. At least if you were there, I'd have someone to talk to while the rest ogled and touched."

With a sigh, Hermione caved. "Alright, alright. I'll come. Sounds awful, but I'll come."

There was a long pause before Remus said, "You still love him, don't you?"

"Remus, it was a school days romance, we were sweethearts," Hermione said, but the words sounded bland even to her own ears. "It wasn't love."

"You've never been so wrong, Hermione," Remus said gently. "Sirius worshipped you."

"In the past tense," she pointed out, suddenly feeling very tired. "Even if I still cared for him, it's all over and done with. In the past."

Remus wanted to tell her that there was hope, but he wasn't even sure if there was. Sirius really had moved on. He went through all the stages. He slept with a bunch of girls, then went through a dry spell before going on dates with a few girls, and then eventually steadily dated the same woman for over a month. And he and Marlene were still together, so Remus could only assume that all was well.

So, the tables had turned. Sirius used to pine for Hermione, and now Hermione would be left to pine for Sirius.

"It's okay," Hermione said, seeing the look in Remus's eyes. "I understand. No hope, nothing left in the ashes. And I'm okay. Dandelion is too," she added with a smile.

Remus was shaking his head. "I would be driven mad. Having to leave for such a long time, having to cut your ties, and to come back to a different world."

"I didn't expect to come back," she admitted. "If I'd known... well, I don't know. I probably would have done it all the same." Hermione looked at Remus, his coat draped over his arm, standing at the door with her. "Remus, must you go? Can't you just hang around here with me for a little longer? We could play Chess or something?"

"Unfortunately, my dear, I must depart," he said with a sad smile. "I have an interview with... wouldn't you know?... Flourish and Blotts today. I have to go home, take a shower and get a change of clothes. But after the interview, maybe you and I can go out for some ice cream."

"Sounds great," Hermione said, giving Remus a really tight hug, which he returned in kind. "Goodbye, Remus. Travel safely."

...~oOo~...

Wearing a blue t-shirt and a pair of jeans, Hermione walked to the Leaky Cauldron in brown leather sandals with her hair tied up in a bun. She felt pretty good that day, woke up feeling particularly refreshed, and made herself excited for lunch that day.

And once she walked into the pub and saw a mane of auburn hair, Hermione was definitely happy she came.

"Lily!" Hermione called as she walked towards the table, and the second Lily turned and their eyes met, the redhead was out of her seat, arms enveloping Hermione in one hell of a hug. Lily was taller than Hermione, so she felt entirely covered in Lily.

"My God, Hermione!" Lily laughed incredulously, pulling back and looking Hermione in the face. "I can't believe you're here! It feels like it's been forever!"

"It does," Hermione said, even though it wasn't true. In her mind, she'd just seen Lily last week. "I've missed you, Lily Potter." Hermione winked.

Lily giggled but then said sternly, "I am most upset about that, you know! The fact that you missed my wedding. I would have made you Maid of Honor, you know!"

"Oh, I could never," Hermione chuckled. "I'd singlehandedly destroy the ceremony with some utterly ridiculous bumble. So, who else is here?"

"Come, I'll introduce you," Lily said, holding onto Hermione's hand. "Hermione, this is Sirius's girlfriend Marlene. I'm sure you know her?"

"Yes, Marlene, how have you been?" Hermione said, shaking the blonde's hand.

Sirius had been right. It was like her waist line got skinnier while her boobs and rump just swelled. She was... breathtaking. And Hermione wished she could hate her for it, but really Hermione just felt sadly lacking. And more than a little insufficient.

"I've been well, and you?" Marlene said in that coldly polite way that one reserved for people one wasn't fond of.

"Well," Hermione replied, putting on a smile.

"And of course you know Sirius, and James, and Peter. But that's Peter's girlfriend Francine."

Francine was, like Remus said, creepy. She had short, bobbed dark brown hair and unnaturally large brown eyes, a round, expressionless face, with thin lips and a tiny nose. The woman was shorter than Peter, with an average build, but seemed uninterested in everything around her.

Francine and Hermione shook hands, but exchanged only hello's.

"Remus should be here soon," Lily told her.

Silently thanking the heavens, it was only five minutes before Remus got there and Hermione's face brightened significantly, which didn't go unnoticed by Sirius. It made him twitch, but he distracted himself by draping his arm around Marlene and drawing circles on her upper arm with his thumb.

Everyone sat by their partner and the lunch started normal enough, until Marlene started asking questions.

"So I hear you disappeared for a while, Hermione," Marlene said, one of her long, manicured fingers absently tracing the rim of her water glass.

"I did," Hermione confirmed. "I was working in France."

"Job fell through?" Marlene guessed.

"Something like that."

"Do you even speak French?" Marlene asked, sounding ever so slightly condescending.

Hermione bristled, but did a good job of it. "Fluently, actually."

"She does, actually," Remus said, joining in before it could become an awkward back-and-forth between the girls. "In school, Sirius and Hermione used to argue in French. It was pretty funny actually."

"I remember that," James said with a big smile. "Confused the hell out of the rest of us."

Lily nodded. "It was kind of cute though." But then she realized she was talking to the new girlfriend and amended, "They were always fighting, though. So it was probably just so we didn't have to suffer through their issues with one another."

Hermione nodded, remembering the French arguments. She remembered that Sirius would always be the one to start speaking the different language and Hermione would go along with it, but after a while she asked why he preferred to fight in French. His explanation had been laughably predictable. He just said, "It's incredibly sexy when you yell in French".

"Francine, what do you do?" Hermione asked, steering the conversation to the cemetery-silent couple.

Francine paused a moment before answering in a very high-pitched voice, "I'm a secretary in the Ministry. I work in whatever department I'm assigned."

"Interesting," Hermione said. "Does it require a lot of paperwork?"

Pause. "Yes."

The way Francine paused before saying anything kind of freaked Hermione out. It was like she was carefully considered every iota of her answer before delivering it. Hardly conducive to casual conversation.

When Francine offered up no more information everyone just kind of traded looks. Hermione looked to Remus and he shrugged apologetically.

"Well..." Lily picked up. "This shepherd's pie is great, isn't it?"

Everyone nodded and mumbled agreements.

"You're weirdly quiet today, Pads," James said, raising a dark eyebrow.

"Tired, I guess," Sirius said with a mischievous grin. "This one keeps me up, you know?" He gave Marlene and affectionate tickle and she smiled coquettishly at him, like no one else was at the table.

Hermione wished she could smile like that. She'd tried, once, in a mirror, just to see if she could. Instead of seductive and sexy, Hermione had just looked in pain. But at the time, she hadn't cared because Sirius told her that he found her the most attractive when she was laughing.

Now she would kill for a sex kitten grin like Marlene's.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Please, Sirius. We're trying to eat."

"Oh, come off it, Lils," Sirius brushed her off. "It isn't like any of us are strangers to sex. It's hardly taboo. We're adults, after all."

And Hermione felt like slamming her face against the table. Being the only virgin at the table was awful, she reflected, especially when it meant that even Peter was more experienced than her. Obviously seeing her distress, Remus took the hand of Hermione's that was tapping furiously on her thigh and gave it a squeeze.

"What, so you wouldn't care if James and I broke out bedroom talk in such a public place?" Lily challenged.

Sirius shrugged. "Why would I? As a matter of fact, why don't you? Tell us, Lily, what is your favorite -"

"I think I need to use the lavatories," Hermione said, standing from her seat.

Marlene giggled. "You aren't uncomfortable, Hermione, are you?"

"Not... really," Hermione lied, very unconvincingly.

"Don't tell me... are you... Hermione, are you a virgin?" Marlene asked scandalously.

"Of course I'm not," Hermione lied, a little surer this time. "I'm just... a private person."

"She's lying," Sirius said automatically, looking at Hermione for what might have been the first time that afternoon. "She's a virgin."

"Oh, really?" Hermione said, putting her hands on her hips. "And you would know this how?"

"You'd give me a hard time about unbuttoning your blouse," Sirius answered, jaw tensing. "It hasn't been so long that your morals would completely change. By my calculations, it'd take two years for you to let a guy unhook your bra."

Feeling a surge of frustration and embarrassment, Hermione leaned forward across the table. "Have you, Sirius, ever considered that maybe my problem wasn't that I didn't _want_ my blouse unbuttoned but, perhaps, I just didn't want _you_ to be the one doing the unbuttoning?" she hissed.

Before she could even see his reaction, Hermione stood as tall as she could and marched to the bathroom. She slammed the stall door behind her, locked it, and leaned heavily against the wall of it, dragging her hands down her face.

This had to be one of the most difficult parts. Questioning everything someone you loved had thought of you. If Sirius had meant it when he said he loved her or if he'd just invested so much time in her that he needed to bring out the big guns to keep her for a little longer. If every romantic, adorable thing they did was something he laughed about behind closed doors. If he'd been thinking about Marlene the whole time.

If every compliment, sweet nothing, late-night conversation, secret moment was a lie.

Maybe, she thought. All of them were maybe's.

Hermione needed to get over herself. She had no right to be jealous. Time to grow up.

There were three sharp bangs on the stall door and Hermione gave a jump.

"Lily?" she asked, confused, but then she saw the shoes under the door and gasped.

"Try Sirius," he said sharply. "Get out of there, we need to talk."

"No," Hermione answered, crossing her arms. "We don't need to talk about anything. Now get out of the ladies' room!"

"No," he shot back, mockingly. "Now, out, Hermione. Before I break down the door myself."

"Stop sounding so mighty and important, like I should bend to your will," Hermione sneered. "You aren't in charge of me, Sirius."

"No, but you damn well owe me!" he snapped.

"How in the name of Merlin do I owe you?"

"You disappear, don't answer my letters, show up out of nowhere, and then humiliate me in front of my friends and girlfriend!"

"Only after you humiliated me!" Hermione shouted back.

"OPEN. THE. DOOR. HERMIONE." HE was yanking and pulling on the door so hard that the entire stall shook.

"MAKE ME!"

With one final, harsh pull, he broke the lock on the door and swung it open forcefully.

"YOU'RE A WIZARD, YOU IDIOT, YOU COULD HAVE JUST BLOODY USED YOUR WAND!" Hermione screeched, eyes wide.

"I'M ANGRY, OKAY?!"

"What do you have to be so damned angry about?!" Hermione shouted, looking up at him with darkening eyes. Her hair was giving off ominous blue sparks, something Sirius hadn't seen in quite a while. "You shouldn't even care! Forget about me!"

"I DID," Sirius bellowed. "I did forget about you! But the problem is, YOU BLOODY CAME BACK."

"What do you want me to do, Sirius?!" Hermione demanded, throwing her hands in the air.

"I WANT YOU TO GO BACK TO WHEREVER THE FUCK YOU CAME FROM."

The air was stolen from Hermione's lungs, leaving a burning sensation in its place. It took her a long minute for her to clear her throat and every last trace of anger to wash away, replaced with a sore emptiness.

"Okay," Hermione said quietly, defeated. "Alright, I'll... go back. I'm sorry." Giving a pathetic sort of wave, Hermione edged her way out of the stall and around Sirius and walked out of the lavatories and took the back exit out of the Leaky so she wouldn't have to face her friends.

If Sirius wanted her to go back to "France", then she might as well, right? She spoke French, she knew a few people there from her summer vacations with her parents and the Beauxbaton's Academy during Fourth Year. She could manage it.

Hermione returned to her flat and scooped her cat off the floor, took Dandelion to her bedroom, and just stroked the cat for a very long time while she fought tears.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Will Hermione leave the country? 3. Will Sirius ever get over himself?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	28. Reactions

A/N. A little note on how I imagine Hermione:

I do NOT think of her as Emma Watson, I never have. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Emma, I think she is talented and beautiful and I would move to Maine and marry her if she let me.** But she is not how JKR portrayed Hermione in the books, physically anyway**.

Hermione is, for lack of a better definition, an ugly duckling. She is very plain, and has rare moments where she can take one's breath away, which makes her beauty even more special. But the fact is, she doesn't care about clothes or make-up, her hair is unmanageable, and she's no movie star by anyone's standards.

Same goes for other characters. The actors just weren't how the book described them, but these are the flaws of making books into movies. If you want to see how I imagine every character, check out **viria13** on deviantart. She is FANTASTIC.

Oh, and BTW, it's my birthday today :D 11th of December

...~oOo~...

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Reactions

Sirius's head was spinning, and not in the good way. Not in the way he remembered it spinning when he kissed Hermione in school. And not in the way it spun when he flew up on a broom as fast as he could, at a perfect 180 degree angle and nose-diving the same way.

Sirius was good at calculating how he would react to something. He knew when to be blase', or to scoff, or to make a joke. Having the perfect response was how he became so popular in school.

But now... he hadn't been even a little prepared. And the questions were nagging at him, begging for answers. Instead of asking those questions, though, he embarrassed her, then screamed at her and watched her leave, feeling empty. When he left the ladies' bathroom and looked around the pub, Hermione was nowhere to be seen.

With a sigh, he walked back to the table where his friends were at, and once Lily spied him coming toward them - without Hermione in tow - she grew increasingly angry-looking. Remus, James and Peter both looked at Sirius with inquiring expressions, but Sirius said nothing. He only reached into the inner pocket the his leather jacket that was draped over the back of his chair and mumbled, "I'm going out for a smoke."

"Sirius Black!" Lily shrieked. "I cannot believe you! You only made things worse, didn't you?"

"It's hardly Sirius's fault," Marlene said while Sirius rolled his eyes and tapped the top of his pack into his palm, his lighter balancing between his thumb and forefinger. "She was being very touchy, if you ask me. She was just too sensitive, and a bit immature."

"Immature!" Lily scoffed. "Hermione is possibly one of the most mature people I know!"

"_Knew_, Lily," Sirius corrected her. "You don't know her anymore. It's been too long. Now I'm going out, I'll be back in five."

"I'll come with you," Remus said with a heavy sigh, dragging himself out of his chair, looking tired and worried.

"Don't think you're going anywhere, James Potter," Lily said, clasping onto her husband's shirt tightly before he could even think about it. There was no way she was going to be left behind with Peter, his headcase girlfriend, and Marlene. Lily rather liked Marlene, actually, but not when she was in her crazy possessive moods... like now.

When Sirius got to the front of the pub, he shoved a cigarette between his lips and offered the pack to Remus, who gratefully accepted. The burn of tobacco down his throat was the only thing keeping Sirius from punching the wall, and the only thing keeping Remus from punching Sirius.

The fag between his fingers, Remus tapped his thigh rapidly, obviously lost in thought.

"What happened?" Remus asked before taking another drag.

"We fought, what else is new?" Sirius grumbled lowly. He spoke out of the side of his mouth as he inhaled and deposited the smoke out his nose. "Don't know why I ever bothered. It's just so weird, having her back. I don't exactly like it."

"She missed you," Remus told him, his eyes sharpening at Sirius. "And you are giving her one hell of a welcome. Almost as bad as when you first met her."

Sirius groaned, turned, and pressed his forehead into the brick wall. "Ugh. This sucks."

"So what are you going to do?" Remus asked.

"I don't know..." Sirius paused. "She might just be on her way out of the country right now."

"WHAT."

Sirius winced. Remus was rarely so abrasive. Sirius cleared his throat and said, "I may have told her to go back to where she came from. And then she said she would, so..."

"You. Idiot," Remus growled. "Do you ever think? Hermione still has feelings for you, Sirius, and if she thinks leaving will make you happy then she'll bloody well do it!"

"Yeah, well, maybe that's what I want," Sirius said, firmer now. He stood up straight and looked at Remus with a cold expression. "We're better off without her. All she does is cause trouble! Always has."

Remus face darkened into a glare and he reached out, into Sirius's pocket abruptly and snatched out his wallet. Remus then opened the wallet, and found the picture in the little sleeve, and held it out to him.

"This girl, right here," Remus said, pointing to the image of Hermione laughing at something, but her eyes were bright, her smile was wide, and she absolutely glowed. "This girl is the first you ever fell in love with. You keep her photo in your wallet and the notes you passed during class in a shoebox. Now, you may not be in love with her anymore - fine. But you owe it to her and your heart to solve whatever unresolved issues there are between you two and to let her know that you don't hate her, but missed her just as much."

Sirius said at length, "Fine," and ripped his wallet from his friend's hands. He was shaking his head. "Moony, you are... infuriating."

"I learned from the best," Remus said with a cheeky little smirk.

"Alright," Sirius said dropping the bud and stomping it out. "Let's get this lunch from hell over with so I can go talk to my ex-girlfriend, but only after lying to my current girlfriend about my whereabouts so she does freak out and start a cat fight over nothing."

"Sirius, you definitely have a way with the ladies," Remus said dryly. "Lying and such. Very smooth. That is exactly how healthy relationships last."

"Shut up, Moony. Since when do you know anything about relationships?"

Remus shrugged nonchalantly and dropped his cigarette. "Who knows? Maybe I'll start one with Miss Hermione. We get along well enough."

"Don't even try," Sirius growled before marching into the pub.

It was reactions like those, Remus thought with a smile, that made him think Sirius wasn't quite as over Hermione as he thought.

...

"I'm sorry, Dandy," Hermione said with a heavy sigh as she tried to coax the cat out from under the sofa. "I really am. But we don't belong here, love. I know you just got used to this place, but I promise there will be more mice to terrorize at Hogwarts, okay?"

Dandelion did not look impressed at all, and flicked her tail irritably to make it clear. She glared out with her glowing green eyes at her witch lying on her belly in their little flat, peering under the couch, arm outstretched, mere inches from Dandelion, but the witch just couldn't reach. Dandelion grinned smugly.

With a huff, Hermione picked herself off the dusty floor and dragged one of her trunks over to the door, getting ready to leave. "Dandy, if you don't come, I'll have no choice but to leave you hear, and the new owner probably won't give belly rubs like I do, or even extra treats!" she called out into her almost-empty flat while she stacked the boxes and such by the entrance.

All she got was a hiss in response. Hermione sighed. She wondered how averse Remus was to having a cat. Dandelion was at temperamental and stubborn as her original owner.

There was a knock on the door and she yelled one more time, "Dandelion, I am not kidding about leaving you and letting you be Mr. Schubert's problem!" Once she swung the door open, expecting Remus, her eyes shot open wide to see that it wasn't.

"'Ello," Sirius said, his hands stuffed in his pockets. "What's this I hear about getting rid of our... your cat?"

Not missing his slip-up, but ignoring it, Hermione said slowly, "It's more like she's getting rid of me... What are you doing here, exactly?"

Sirius didn't answer, but looked past her at the boxes and trunks. "Wow, you weren't kidding about leaving, were you?"

"Well, you certainly weren't kidding about wanting me to leave, were you?" Hermione challenged, raising a brow.

Sirius just pressed his lips together before saying, "Mind if I come in?"

"I do, actually," Hermione replied haughtily. "I have a lot of work to do, moving is difficult work, so I really can't have any distractions."

"You don't have to move, Hermione," Sirius sighed, dragging a hand down his face. "I was being an idiot, like I usually am, and said things I shouldn't have."

"Just because you shouldn't have said them doesn't mean you didn't mean them," Hermione pointed out. "Anyway, you've made it abundantly clear I'm not wanted here. And while I would love to be around for James and Lily and Remus, you're all kind of a package deal."

"Just let me in, Hermione."

"Never again, Sirius," Hermione said before she could censor her words. "I did once and I'm not letting it happen again."

Sirius leaned against the doorjamb and said, "Listen, Hermione. This goes one of two ways. One being we back-and-forth until you give in and let me inside. Two, you hex me, I out-duel you, and I end up coming in anyway. So, why don't we skip the casualties and just invite me in for tea."

Closing her eyes, Hermione took a deep breath and then very reluctantly stepped aside, motioning for Sirius to come in. He gave her one of his smug grins and she wanted to smack it off his face or maybe trip him as he stepped over the threshold.

The second Sirius was in, Dandelion scurried out from her hideyhole and stretched up to knead Sirius's knee and purr loudly.

"Traitor," Hermione muttered at Dandelion disdainfully and walked to the kitchen to put on the kettle. "I pamper her and pet her and feed her until she's fat with contentment and in the end, she still likes you better than me."

"Maybe cats just like me better," Sirius said.

"I very highly doubt that," she grumbled, taking out two mugs, along with the cream and sugar bowls. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

Sirius stood on the opposite side of the counter, looking down at her. "Like I said, I shouldn't have said all that at the pub. I was frustrated and annoyed and it was wrong of me to say all that."

"Why do you care?" Hermione asked. "You said what you meant, the end. I'm still leaving. Your apology means nothing because I know you don't mean it. Remus put you up to this, right?"

"It doesn't matter," Sirius said. "Whether or Remus put me up to his or not, I screamed at you and I'm trying to say sorry."

"Just... leave me alone, Sirius," Hermione sighed tiredly, rubbing her sore eyes.

Obviously, that wasn't going to happen. "What kind of work were you doing for Dumbledore?" Sirius asked.

"Recon stuff, why?" Hermione said vaguely.

"Just... why did he send you?"

Hermione shrugged. "I speak French."

"So do I," Sirius pointed out. "Why didn't he send us together? Wouldn't that have been safer than sending you alone?"

"In case you haven't noticed, Sirius," Hermione said, "you aren't exactly the king of subtlety. Being on my own was safer than both of us together."

Sirius didn't respond to that, just tapped his fingers on the countertop. "So... are you really not a virgin anymore?"

Hermione blinked. "That was certainly a jump in conversation topics."

Sirius shrugged. "Like you said, I've never been one for subtlety. So, what's the answer?"

"It's none of your business, Sirius."

"I know," he said. "And it stopped being my business a long time ago. But I still want to know."

"What if I said no? What would you say?" Hermione hedged.

"I'd demand to know who he was and how long you two were together."

Hermione saw the tenseness in Sirius's eyes and jaw. She wanted to ruffle him further, so she responded, "It was a one-night type of thing."

There was a length of silence while Sirius swallowed before exploding, "_Are you fucking kidding me_?!"

Hermione jumped a little. "What?" she demanded. "Didn't like my answer?"

"You and I were together for almost_ six months_ and you were a prude 'til the end, but you just gave up your virginity to some ponce at the pub when you had maybe too much to drink?!" Sirius threw his hands up in the air in anger. "I actually fucking cared and you traded love for someone you never saw again?!"

There it was again. That word. Love.

Hermione stared at him a while and then shrugged, hoping she was lying convincingly enough. Maybe if he was angry enough, he'd just let her leave without giving her a problem about it. "Why not?"

"You... you're... _you're insane_!"

"And you're an arse," Hermione snapped back. "Did you know that?"

"Me? I am?" Sirius asked, aghast. "What the fuck did I do besides do everything in my power to make you happy? I was one hell of a good boyfriend, Hermione!"

Hermione shrugged, sick of this conversation. "Get out of my house."

"No."

"Now."

"I said 'no'."

"And I said 'now'. And take your cat with you, she likes you a lot more than me anyway!" Hermione grumbled, taking the whistling kettle off of the burner. When Hermione turned around, she found Sirius directly behind her and jumped. "Merlin! Get out of my personal space, will you?"

"I'm just a bit puzzled, you see," Sirius said, one arm braced against the refrigerator. "The problem is... you make no sense. None. I don't get it. Are you trying very hard to make it clear that you never cared about me? Or am I just driving myself mad, by asking all these questions that I've had for almost two years?"

"Sirius, wake up," Hermione snapped. "We were practically kids. What we said and did together... it means very little in the long run. You're romanticizing a relationship that lasted for a blip on the radar. You've moved on, remember? Your relationship with Marlene is real, so focus on that instead of something that virtually never happened."

They stared. Sirius's heart physically hurt. Never happened, she said. The moments he'd learned how to love were spent with her and she was saying that it all was... nothing.

Overcome with anger and hurt - and anger at feeling hurt - Sirius hooked his finger into the collar of her shirt and jerked her forward to crush his mouth to hers. It was a big, firm kiss that she yanked away from.

"What?!" Hermione gasped. "Was that?!"

Sirius shrugged cockily. "It never happened, right?"

"You... you can't just do things like that!" Hermione exclaimed, her cheeks aflame. She rubbed at her mouth furiously.

"But I just did," Sirius pointed out. "And I could do it again. Does that mean it never happened?"

"Are you really this upset about that?" Hermione demanded.

"It really sucks, Hermione, knowing that I was so ridiculously in love with you and now finding out that it was nothing like I thought it was!"

"You're over-thinking this!"

"And you're under-thinking it!"

"_What do you want me to say, Sirius_?!"

And then Sirius kissed her again, but this time it didn't remain harsh, but melted into a softer, sweeter kiss. Hermione was stiff as a board until Sirius kissed her into a puddle and the tingling sensation started from her neck, down to her chest and wrapped itself around her lungs, making it hard to breathe. So slowly that it was barely noticeable, Hermione rose her hands to Sirius's neck and rested them there, very slightly pulling his lips tighter against hers.

When the kiss came to its gradual, gentle end, Sirius took a deep breath and said, "I want you... to say... that you feel something when you're with me. The same something I feel with you. Because I just know that I can't be alone in this."

Something jump-started in Hermione's stomach and she threw her arms around his neck, bringing their mouths together once more. Their lips moved enthusiastically, hungrily, their hands trying to find the perfect place to touch that would satisfy their need, but nowhere was enough. He pushed her against the counter, followed by her shoving him against the fridge.

A part of Hermione's head was saying, "This is how our reunion should have been..." but the other part of her brain was commanding they get closer, faster. Hermione hurried his shirt over his head and then he did the same on her, both of their hands fumbling in their rush.

Once their shirts were on the kitchen floor, Sirius grabbed her under her thighs and hoisted her up around his waist, their chests pressing together deliciously, their breath coming faster, and their mouths never parting. His hands cupped her bum, crushing their hips together and making her squeal into his mouth. Sirius chuckled breathily, and kissed her over and over again.

Hands twined deep in his silky, longish hair, Hermione couldn't help but feel like that was what home felt like. Hot skin sliding together, tight holding, imperfect tumbling around the kitchen on an unexpected afternoon, and kissing until there was no air left in her lungs.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What will happen next in Sirius and Hermione's little romantic moment? 3. What will happen with Marlene?

~ So Long And Thanks For All the Fish ~


	29. Fake Smiles & False Hopes

A/N. Last chapter a lot of you were a mix of happy and unhappy. Like "YEY SIRIUS AND HERMIONE" and also "Sirius, that cheating bastard." And it's true - Sirius is a cheating bastard. But it would hardly be a story if Hermione and Sirius magically fixed all their problems and lived happy ever after, right?

I've also received comments on the difference in genre between this and TLM. TLM was heavily adventure with plenty of romance mixed in, while this is heavily romance with a dash of adventure. I dunno if you guys like or dislike this, but let me know!

Resa Fun Fact:

As said in the last chapter... today is my birthday *smiles* For which I am doing absolutely nothing special. My last birthday my friend, who was friends with the entire football team at the college, threw me a party (which the team attended) and we had one hell of a time. Granted, I didn't know most of the people there, but I made a lot of friends that night and maybe got a teensy little bit too drunk.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Fake Smiles & False Hopes

"Christ, you smell..." Kiss. "Amazing..." Kiss. A satisfied rumble resonated deep in Sirius's chest.

Hermione couldn't help but chuckle, but the light laughter morphed into a moan as Sirius slid his hands into the waist of her jeans, edging downward until Hermione shivered. She had no clue what had come over her - normally she would have slapped his hands and pulled away, but something about being in Sirius's embrace again was intoxicating.

Unsure of how she got there, Hermione was pressed against the wall of her bedroom, Sirius pinning her with his entire body - and it was more than welcome. One of her legs was hooked around his hip, like how she saw in movies and read in books.

Sirius's fingers were a little cold, but warming up quickly, so when he unbuttoned her jeans, she felt it and stiffened a little bit.

Pausing, Sirius sighed. "You're going to push me away now, aren't you?"

Shaking her head, Hermione gave a nervous shudder and said, "N-no, I'm not... I just... I should probably tell you that I, er, lied before."

Raising a brow, he asked, "Lied about what?"

"About not being a... you know," she said, feeling her cheeks burn bright. This was so embarrassing.

It took a moment, but Sirius pieced it together and whispered, "You're a virgin?"

Biting her lip, Hermione closed her eyes and nodded.

Then, very unexpectedly, Hermione was in the air, feet off the ground and gathered against Sirius's chest, being kissed with more excitement than ever before. She made a shocked little sound, but went along with it, tightening her thighs around his hips.

"Thank Merlin," he breathed when he broke from the kiss, laughing breathlessly. "When you said... God, thank Merlin, Christ, whoever's up there!" He laughed again, louder and fuller this time.

"What are you so happy about?" Hermione asked as he peppered her throat with kisses and bites.

"Just... I'm happy," was all Sirius said, tightening his hold on her then settling her on the bed gently. He propped himself over her and smiled at her. "I had no clue how much I missed you, love, until right now."

"Remus says you kept photos of me," Hermione said curiously. "Why?"

Sirius shrugged. "I'm not sure. It felt right, I guess. I also kept all the notes we passed in class in a shoebox under my bed. Pathetic, isn't it?"

Hermione suppressed a giggle, but couldn't help it from bursting from her lips. Sirius watched as she laughed, almost uncontrollably, and he joined in heartily. These were the moments that he had ached for - Hermione laughing so hard that her face turned pink, her face glowing, and their hands intertwined.

"I'm sorry," Hermione panted through her laughter. "I am! It's just... You're too cute!" And she pealed off into more giggles.

"Cute? Are you kidding? I'm not cute!" Sirius said, mock-offended. "I have been called many things, but no one's dared to call me 'cute'. You'll pay for that." His eyes darkened with a predatory glint in them.

"And how do you think you're going to do tha-MMMmmm!" With his lips coaxing hers open again, Hermione giggled into his mouth and cupped his jaw with her hands. He playfully pinched her bum, she laughed again, and then there was a loud knocking coming from the front of the flat.

With a panicked scream - when suddenly all of her brain cells came together and realized she was doing something she shouldn't be - Hermione jumped up, smacked her forehead into Sirius's by accident, to which she jerked away and then fell face first onto the floor.

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked immediately, crouching down and helping her sit up.

Hermione nodded and rubbed her nose, which was very abused as of late, what with landing on it in Dumbledore's office and now her own room.

Then they both heard the voice calling out from the door. "Hermione! It's Remus! Are you home?"

"Shit!" Sirius hissed.

"Get under the bed! The closet! Something, anything!" Hermione was whispering. "I'll be there in just a second, Remus!" she called out as she shoved at Sirius, pushing him to do something - anything!

Sirius, however, had no clue what the hell she was expecting him to do and was trying to ask her, but she kept shushing him while she looked for a shirt.

Finally, Hermione ripped the comforters off the bed and dropped them over Sirius, who was kneeling on the floor. Flushed and anxious, Hermione said, "Now just... stay... there!"

Looking like nothing more than a person hiding under a blanket, Sirius said, "It isn't like he's going to come in your bedroom." Then he paused and asked suspiciously, "Right?"

"SHUSH!" Hermione snapped, dragging a camisole over her head and running out to answer the door. She flung it open, breathing heavily, trying and failing to look casual and put on a smile. "Hello, Remus! How are you this lovely day?"

Raising an eyebrow, Remus said, "I'm... alright. I rather thought your day was going less-than-lovely, though?"

"Oh, well," Hermione said, waving it away nonchalantly. "That's life, isn't it? All water under the bridge now, though. After all, it has been..." She trailed off, looking around for the clock.

"Two hours?" Remus filled in for her. He looked inside the doorway and said, "What are you packing for? Trading this dingy space for a new flat?"

"Um..." Hermione scratched the back of her head, looking at her trunks and boxes. "Actually, I was considering maybe just moving again, you know? Back to France, or something."

Remus frowned. "Was your row with Sirius that bad?"

Pursing her lips in thought, Hermione nodded and the dread settled in her heart. "Yeah... it was," she sighed. "But there are other reasons, of course. See, Dandy's already killed all of the mice in this flat and she won't do well without something to do, so... we'll move on." She looked up at Remus and said, "Was there something you needed help with, Remus?"

"Actually, yes," he said. "Sirius said he was coming by the apologize and I wanted to know if that went well, but seeing the trunks and whatnot I'm going to assume he made an arse of himself again?"

"Something like that, yes," Hermione answered. _More like I made an arse out of myself. _

"I'm sorry, Hermione," Remus said, sounding so sincere it made Hermione feel guilty for lying. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Hermione paused. She kind of did, but Sirius was in the bedroom hiding...

Sirius was in the bedroom hiding. A devious thought creeped its way into Hermione's head. What if she had a nice long cup of tea with Remus while Sirius was left half-naked and nervous?

While she was rationalizing with herself why that was wrong and mean, Remus was saying, "Come on, let's put on some tea. And if you don't want to talk about Sirius, we'll talk about books, okay?"

Suddenly desperate for the warming, comforting company that was Remus, Hermione reasoned that Sirius was a wizard and if he wanted to leave, Apparition was one flick of the wand away.

Hermione nodded and Remus walked in, strolling towards the kitchen when she knew she was forgetting something important...

"Uh, Hermione?"

"Yes, Remus?" Hermione answered, still wondering what that something was.

"What is Sirius's jacket and shirt doing on your kitchen floor?" he asked, sounding accusatory. He turned to her with a blunt expression and a disapprovingly raised eyebrow.

She smacked herself in the forehead. "Brilliant," she muttered. "I don't suppose you'd believe I've gone back to laundering his clothes?"

"I'm afraid not," Remus said. "Alright, you can come out, Sirius! I know you're in here!"

It was about a half-minute before they heard the creak of Hermione's bedroom door and the heavy footfalls enter in from the hallways. Sirius stood in the kitchen, looking not even slightly ashamed at his half-nakedness or at getting caught, but maybe a little disappointed. He was shaking his head.

"Hermione, Hermione," Sirius sighed. "Always clean up the evidence."

"I'm sorry that I'm not familiar with the protocol of unexpected clothing removal before being interrupted by your best friend!" Hermione hissed.

Remus's arms were crossed and his glare was enough to even make Sirius's bravado flicker. "Both of you. Couch. Now."

A few minutes later, they all had fresh tea at the coffee table and Sirius - still shirtless, his firm, toned, muscled body displayed shamelessly - and Hermione were sitting on the couch side-by-side, not touching, while Remus stood in front of them. He looked every bit the disappointed professor catching two students pant-less after curfew in the dark.

"You two have possibly the most horrendous history I've ever seen," Remus began, his tone firm and unforgiving. "First Sirius is a big bully, then you two enter a mutual hatred, then that hatred became mild dislike, and then you both started dating. Then you dated for months where Sirius became sex-deprived and annoying and Hermione remained distant and never spoke about anything that involved depth. Then Hermione broke it off, Sirius punched a wall, went on to pretend he never cared. Hermione disappears. Sirius sleeps his way through half of England, eventually moves on, enters a relationship. Hermione comes back out of the blue, you two scream at one another, Sirius tries to apologize, you two have sex. Am I missing anything?"

Sirius and Hermione exchanged a look.

"All true, except for the last bit," Sirius said. "You interrupted before we could really get anywhere."

"Oh, lovely, let me just step out and let you get on with it," Remus said sharply. "Time for a reality check, you two. You have problems. So many problems. This is not healthy. Sirius doesn't know how to act or think rationally around you, Hermione, and I don't think you can either. You're dating Marlene, Sirius, you have been for more than three months. And while I don't completely approve of your new taste in obnoxious blonde women, you seemed happy, and so did she. This isn't fair to her, and it isn't to Hermione. You can't make promises to Hermione when you're still with Marlene, who I'm fairly sure _has_ been faithful... unlike you."

With a sigh, Sirius dragged a hand down his face, nodding. He looked like a kicked puppy now. "Yeah... I know."

"And Hermione, you don't deserve this idiot," Remus continued. "Think about it. If he's willing to cheat on Marlene, what does that mean if you two got together again? What would happen if someone he thinks he loves more than you drops out of the sky? Will they engage in a steamy tumble in the kitchen?

"The way I see it is, if either of you plan on making this incredibly dysfunctional relationship - if you can even call it that - work, Sirius is going to have to break up with Marlene and you two are going to need to sit down to a long, sex-less dinner and just... talk. And stop all the lies - from both of you." He gave them both hard, serious looks.

Raking a hand back through her tangled mess of hair, Hermione was shaking her head. "Remus is right, Sirius. We're dysfunctional, but with no chance of functioning. You know that."

Crossing his arms, Sirius said, "I don't think that's true. We've made it work before, we can again."

Leaning forward, Hermione propped her elbows on her knees and rubbed her temples. "I don't think you should break up with Marlene. I had no right just stepping into your life again, expecting us to somehow just..." She swallowed. "I don't know what I was expecting, really."

"And I shouldn't have expected you to just want to come back to me," Sirius admitted on a sigh. "I shouldn't have yelled at you, then kissed you... I fucked up."

Hermione nodded. "I did too."

Remus was watching closely and said, "Guys, I didn't mean do... _this_, I just meant get your shit together."

"Some things can't be fixed, Remus," Hermione said, her chest hurting. "Like you said, we have problems."

"But everyone has problems," Remus went on. "It doesn't mean you shouldn't try."

"I'm sure that Sirius cares very deeply for Marlene," Hermione said, looking up at the sandy-haired young man. "What happened before, in the kitchen, was probably a rush of... I don't know. A surge of hormones and nostalgia. It didn't mean anything. Right, Sirius?"

Sirius stared at his hands. The same hands that'd been roaming Hermione's soft, creamy skin only minutes ago. The same hands that had fully intended on making love to Hermione slowly and gently and to hold her after her first time and rub her back when the soreness settled in. He was going to take a nap with Hermione and when they woke up, he was planning on kissing her and leaving to go to Marlene's and confess everything and end it with her.

It wasn't hormones. It wasn't nostalgia. Sirius just wanted her back. But he was obviously going to have to prove that to her and he wasn't sure how yet. He wasn't sure if her could, in the end.

And Remus's words echoed deep in Sirius's skull. Hermione didn't deserve and idiot like Sirius.

Scratching his chin, Sirius nodded slowly and agreed, "Right. Didn't... mean anything."

Remus shook his head. This wasn't what he'd meant. He'd just wanted them to actually try for once instead of all of this complicated hate and jealously games nonsense. He'd wanted them to be happy...

But he wondered if maybe they were making the right choice.

Their conversation ended with Sirius retrieving his shirt, pulling it on with his jacket, lighting a cigarette and leaving, but only after he gave Hermione a hug goodbye. She'd returned the hug and Remus couldn't help but feel his own sadness for the solemn expressions they both wore.

Remus left as well, ruffling Hermione's hair lightly, and walking out into the streets of Diagon Alley. And he considered what might have happened had he not decided to drop by Hermione's at that moment. Would they have slept together? Would they have regretted it? Or would they have smiled and laughed and been happy? Would one bout of honest lovemaking solved their problems, put things into perspective, made them strive to mend their troubles?

Looking up at the front-facing window of Hermione's flat, Remus waved at the girl standing in the window. Hermione smiled and waved back, but even he could see, her smile never really touched her eyes.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What will happen between Sirius and Marlene? 3. Will Hermione still leave?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	30. Chocolate Cake & Black Stars

A/N.** IMPORTANT**: If I told you, my readers, that by this upcoming summer I would have a full-length novel available for purchase in PDF format, Ebook, and also possibly upload-able to Kindles, what would you say? Would you buy the book because you already like my writing? Or would it depend on what its about?

Let me know, because it is a real possibility! It could happen!

Resa Fun Fact:

I wrote my first full-length novel in 7th grade. It was 500 pages and about people who changed into animals. I wrote it at a time when I was still deeply embarrassed to write about kissing on the mouth *gasps scandalously*. Obviously, I've sort of evolved since then, but I still do read it from time to time, and every time I do, I think, "Wow. This sucks!" Haha *smiles*

...~oOo~...

Chapter Thirty: Chocolate Cake & Black Stars

Sirius was starting to think he truly was the idiot Remus claimed he was. It took two hours of trying - really trying - to be around Marlene and feel the same way about her. Marlene was leggy and tan and curvy everywhere, with long, soft blonde hair and plump, pouty lips. She knew exactly how to turn him on and didn't mind his joking around, either.

She was a real babe and liked most of his friends, and she was in the Order, but she was slightly high maintenance. Granted, he knew he himself wasn't the easiest person to put up with, but Marlene had a problem with jealousy.

Sirius was caught between a rock and a hard place. If he broke up with Marlene, what kind of message did that send Hermione? That he was flimsy with relationships and didn't mind dumping a girl once a new one came along? But if he didn't break up with Marlene, would it make Hermione think that he didn't mind being unfaithful and that their heavy snogging meant nothing?

Sirius considered all of this as he took rode his motorbike to Marlene's house. He took the long way for extra time to think, but was still as clueless as when he put the key in the ignition.

But two hours was all it really took. Two hours in Marlene's presence.

When he first arrived, she demanded to know where he'd been. He explained that he'd gone to apologize to Hermione. She asked how that went and he answered that a friendship between them probably wouldn't work out. Marlene seemed satisfied with this and invited him in for dinner.

Marlene was wearing very short shorts and a skin-tight camisole that was so thin he could see straight through to his favorite lacy black bra of hers. And while he sat in the kitchen as she cooked, he could see she was waiting for him to touch her hips, slide his hands up her shirt, do anything to initiate sex in the kitchen. He did none of it, mostly because he was sick with guilt and it didn't feel the same.

They ate dinner together. By the time it was over, Sirius couldn't even remember what it'd been they ate, only that he really wished Marlene would stop running her toes up his ankle or rubbing his very upper thigh.

In the parlor, they listened to the radio and Sirius pretended to become very interested in a book on her shelf. At this point, Marlene was done with the subtle foreplay and went straight for biting his ear, her hand gliding down his back and into his pants, squeezing his bum.

"Listen, baby," Sirius said reluctantly, gently removing her hand from his trousers and turning to look her in her beautiful butterscotch-colored eyes. "We need to talk."

Marlene had stiffened up immediately. She pursed her lips and moved her hands to her hips. "Is this about that girl?"

There was a long silence that answered the question for him.

"Is that where you went after lunch?"

"I told you that's where I was," Sirius said.

"Yes, but you were there for an awfully long time, weren't you?" Marlene's glare was borderline vicious. "Did you sleep with her?"

"No," Sirius said. "But... we came close enough."

Marlene didn't answer for a long time, but when she did, it wasn't words. It was a forceful slap to the side of his face. Sirius hissed in pain, but didn't say anything, just touching his now-red cheek.

"YOU BASTARD!" Marlene yelled.

"I'm sorry, Marlene," Sirius said genuinely. "I truly am. I just... I didn't realize I had unresolved feelings for -"

"Oh, don't give me that bollocks, you arsehole!" Marlene shouted. "It was years ago - don't go pulling the 'unresolved feeling' nonsense now! You're just a Class A prick who can't keep it in his trousers!"

"It wasn't like that -" A book came hurling at his head and he ducked at last minute, backing away quickly.

"I can't believe you let that slag get in your head!"

"OI. You're not allowed to speak about her like that!"

"And how should I speak about her then?!" Marlene threw another book at him, which clipped his shoulder. "Sing her praises that she hypnotized MY BOYFRIEND with sweet, innocent, baby words that reminded him of what its like to be seventeen again?!"

"It wasn't her fault! It was mine!" Sirius shouted back. "Be angry at me, not her."

"Oh, trust me, Sirius Black, I AM angry at you!"

Then Sirius saw the tears filling Marlene's eyes and spilling over her cheeks. She wasn't just angry, she was hurt, and Sirius hated that. He wished he could comfort her someway, somehow take away her hurt, but he knew it was impossible.

"TELL ME WHY!" Marlene let out a short sob while she tried to pull herself together. "Were you bored with me? It can't be that she's better in bed, because that's just a laugh!"

"It's because I love her!" Sirius exploded before he could stop himself. The room stilled and he sighed. "I love her, okay? I loved her two years ago and I love her now."

"What a joke," Marlene said, quieter now. "You really think what you feel is love?"

Sirius nodded. "I know it is."

Marlene scoffed. "Don't come running back to me when you realize this was your biggest mistake. Now... Get out of my house."

And Sirius complied.

...

When James answered the door, he was agitated and disheveled, but once he saw it was his best mate standing on his doorstep, he brightened up a bit.

"Oh, Sirius," James said, pushing his crooked glasses higher on his nose. "What's up, mate?"

"Marlene and I are over," Sirius said, walking into the house without invitation. Lily hated it when he did that, which only made him do it more, of course. "Big fight. She threw stuff. I dodged it. She screamed, I screamed. I left. I'm here. Do you have any chocolate? I want chocolate." He walked towards the kitchen with James in tow.

"There might be some cake in the fridge that Lily's mum made," James said. "But, I'm a little lost. Why were you guys fighting?"

Taking the cake out of the fridge, taking a fork from the drawer, Sirius started stabbing into the chocolate bunt without mercy, shoveling it into his mouth. "Cheated on her."

"You WHAT?!" a new voice shrieked.

"Oh, hello, Lily," Sirius said nonchalantly, adding another clump of cake into his already-full mouth.

The redhead stood in the archway to the kitchen, her hands on her hips, looking nearly as furious as Marlene had. Only Lily was wearing feminine boxers and a spaghetti-strap shirt. Obviously she was getting ready for bed.

"You really cheated on her?" James asked, sounding confused. That didn't sound like Sirius. Sure, he was a womanizer, but when he was with one woman, he was dedicated.

Sirius nodded. "Well. Kind of. Does it count if you don't actually shag and only snog the life out of one another?"

"Yes, it counts, you dunderhead!" Lily snapped. "Who the hell did you cheat on her with?"

"That's easy," James said, shaking his head. "It was Hermione, wasn't it?"

"Oi, I don't need to say anything," Sirius answered, going to the fridge for the milk to pour himself a glass. "This is my life I'm fucking up, I don't need to tell any of you a damned thing."

"Poor Marlene," Lily said, sounding very disappointed. "And poor Hermione!"

"I NEVER SAID IT WAS HERMIONE."

"You didn't have to!" Lily exclaimed. "You're in love with her! Always have been! Stop being a moron, will you?"

"I KNOW, okay?!" Sirius shouted back. "I know. I love her. I do, alright? But she doesn't love me and I need to change that."

"Oh, no, not this again," James groaned, resting his forehead against the cabinet. "All of the grand romantic gestures and the bantering and the lovesick groaning from this one. Will this cycle ever end?"

"It's going to take a hell of a lot more than my acting skills and a Quidditch pitch full of flowers this time," Lily said curtly. "Sirius, you manipulated Hermione - don't deny it! - and you betrayed Marlene's trust and love. Do you really think its a good idea to throw yourself into another romantic endeavor?"

"I'm Sirius Black, dear Lily," Sirius said with pride. "If anyone can manage this, it's me. I'm the king of this kind of thing - especially when it comes to Hermione."

"Can't you just be honest?" James asked. "Just ask her to dinner, tell her how you feel, date normally, the end? Must you go crazy with flowers and candy and balloons and confetti? It would be a lot easier and cheaper to just say, 'Hermione, I love you'."

"Yeah, just buy her a book, you ponce," Lily added for good measure.

Bastard, ponce, arsehole, prick, dunderhead. Was anyone ever just going to call him Sirius today? Frankly, it was getting hard for him to keep up.

"It won't be enough," Sirius said confidently. "Moony said that we need to get everything out of the way, clear out the cobwebs and try to start -"

"Wait, Moony?" James said. "When did you talk to him?"

"He kind of showed up when Hermione and I were doing naughty things we shouldn't have been."

"You're telling me," Lily said, picking up, "that Remus was the reason you two stopped and not just your own moral conduct?"

"Er... yes?"

"I am really starting to hate you, Sirius," Lily said, crossing her arms. "I'm going up to brush my teeth. James, kick out your friend and come to bed with your wife." She turned around and walked away.

"I'm sorry about her, mate," James said, patting him on the shoulder. "But you heard the missus. Time for Prongs to make love to his beautiful lady."

"Alright," Sirius said, picking up the bunt. "But I'm taking the cake. And don't count on me returning the plate."

...~oOo~...

The first Order meeting Hermione attended was a long time ago, it felt, but she found herself attending one for the first time yet again. This time, though, the meeting place was actually the old Potters' manor. But when Hermione stepped in, she didn't feel the warmth or happiness that had come with staying there for the holidays with the boys, but a detached coldness that filled the house.

It'd been two weeks since she saw the Marauders - except for Remus. Since he was working at Flourish and Blotts, he'd come up to her flat daily for his break where they'd eat lunch and have coffee. Hermione appreciated the half-hour of company a day, because otherwise she'd be completely alone. And when they talked, it was always light and friendly, and there was an unspoken contract to avoid any talk of Sirius.

So Hermione had been preparing herself for days to see him again, no less in the place where he'd first asked her to be his girlfriend. The manor was a place that she always thought of fondly, along with the loving, caring people who lived there.

But the manor was coated in a layer of dust everywhere. Remus was leading her to the ballroom, where the Potters used to have their Christmas parties, when she asked, "Did Dorea and Charlus move?"

Remus blinked. "You don't know?"

A horrible feeling weighed in her gut. She shook her head.

Remus sighed and reported sadly, "Dorea and Charlus passed away, not long after you left."

Hermione gasped quietly. "But... how?"

"Awful case of dragon pox," Remus said, nodding with a morose look on his face. "They were older, and it was hard for them to fight it off. Unfortunately, it took both of them, only days apart. James was crushed, and so was Sirius. We all were, but especially them - they were their mum and dad." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "I never wanted my friends to know what it's like to lose a parents so young."

Hermione hesitated before asking, "Did you... Remus, did one of your parents...?"

"A long time ago," Remus confirmed. "I was eight. My mum."

"I never knew..."

"I don't like to talk about it," Remus said. "It's alright, though. She was a Muggle, you see. There are a bunch of illnesses that Muggles can contract that wizards can't. My dad's not gotten over it, which is why I've gotten used to not speaking about her. Now come on, we'll be late for the meeting."

There were about thirty people at the meeting, but Hermione knew from experience that the Order branched out quite further than just the immediate members that you saw at every gathering. There were underground members, secret members who owned businesses with safe houses, the random witch or wizard who might never see a mission but gave their support.

Among these people were the ones she'd read and heard about. Dorcas Meadowes, the Prewett brothers, Benjy Fenwick, and more. A man who looked curiously like a younger Dumbledore was there, talking with Hagrid who had a shorter beard. And yes, Marlene was there, and so was her sister Wendy, who was about a year younger, but the same height and with the same blonde hair. They could have been twins if you looked too quickly.

When Lily caught sight of Hermione, she rushed over and gave her a hug. "I'm so glad you're here," Lily said.

"I am too, Lily," Hermione told her.

"Dumbledore is about to start speaking, but once he's done, I'll introduce you to everyone," Lily said with a big smile.

Dumbledore didn't speak long. He filled them in one what happened during an attack launched by the Order on a coven of vampires loyal to Voldemort and who'd been hunting in a Muggle town nearby. It was successful, and everyone there gave a cheer, and patted the Prewett brothers' backs, who wore identical smug expressions. Obviously, they'd been the heads of the mission.

"They're such hams," Lily told Hermione with an amused grin at the redheaded twins. "They love the attention, but they're great fighters. Don't know a Dead Eater they couldn't beat."

Hermione swallowed, but nodded at Lily, not wanting to show that, unfortunately, there were Death Eaters who could beat them - but it would take five. The Prewett twins' names had been listed in The Trick, but with a small black star beside their names. When Hermione'd first read the book, and looked at the lists of casualties, she wondered why in the world there'd been stars next to their names and what made them so special. There'd been no footnote or citation on why the stars were there, so she was left wondering.

Until she finally put it together. Standing in the middle of the room, looking around at all the names she knew from paper, she put it together. The stars were a secret symbol, she knew now. Those names embellished with it were casualties from the Order.

Which meant the person who'd written the book, the "Messenger", had been in the Order themselves.

_Someone in this room, _she thought. _Someone who survived the war. _

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Who do you think wrote The Trick? 3. What will Hermione do in the Order, you think?

~ So Long and Thanks For All The Fish ~


	31. Eat Crow

A/N. A little note about Marlene - I do not think she's a bad person. We are just seeing her from a point of view where we want Sirius and Hermione together. She is high maintenance, yes, but a lot of women are, and she probably cared very much for Sirius, which is why she felt threatened when his ex-girlfriend came around. A lot of us would have felt the same way, but perhaps maybe not been SO hostile at a meeting with her, but still. And then she finds out she was cheated on and it only confirms that she SHOULD have felt threatened and now she's angry, as any woman would be.

Resa Fun Fact:

I am tragically allergic to my favorite fruit: pineapple. When I was younger, and there was pineapple in the house, I would go into the kitchen after midnight, stuff my face with as much pineapple as possible, and then take a butt-load of Benadryl so that my mom wouldn't know and so I wouldn't die. DO NOT TRY THAT AT HOME.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Thirty-One: Eat Crow

Mad-Eye Moody split up everyone into pairs and began giving one of his lengthy lectures about shields and blocking charms that could protect more than one person at a time. He was smart about pairing everyone, having put each person with someone they were unfamiliar with or at least wouldn't distract them.

Hermione ended up paired with Wendy McKinnon. At first she was nervous, because she was sure Marlene probably had plenty to say about her, but Wendy was quiet and sweet and very friendly, shaking Hermione's hand and welcoming her.

After everyone had a partner, Moody then paired up the doubles. Wendy and Hermione were facing Fabian Prewett - Hermione knew it was Fabian because of the F stitched into his jacket - and Hagrid. Hermione wanted to run up to Hagrid and give him a hug, but restrained herself.

"Me name's Rubeus Hagrid," the half-giant said, his massive hand shaking her. "But everyone calls me Hagrid."

"It's wonderful to meet you, Hagrid," Hermione said with maybe too much enthusiasm at seeing her old friend again. Fabian, Wendy, and Hagrid all had a curious look as to why she seemed particularly excited to meet Hagrid, but they let it go.

"I hope I get as warm a welcome as that one," Fabian said with a grin. Instead of shaking her hand, he kissed it. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Hermione, and I look forward to many future encounters."

Hermione smirked and blushed, and returned the sentiments.

Moody cut them off from all of their introductions and explained the exercise. Each pair was going to take turns throwing spells and hexes at the other pair, so that they may practice shielding one another in "battle".

Hermione figured that they would exchange harmless spells and things, but this was not the case. Fabian was ruthless and made up for the spells Hagrid didn't cast. Hagrid, as Hermione knew, had his wand snapped in his Third Year at Hogwarts and was forbidden to use magic, but she was familiar with his secret method of using magic through the wand stashed in his umbrella. He didn't use it often, and didn't like to, for fear of the magic use being picked up by the Ministry.

In the middle of their duel, Hermione, out of nowhere, caught a Stinging Hex in her rump. It obviously hadn't been Hagrid or Fabian, and when she spun around, there was Marlene a few yards away, lips pursed and a gleefully malicious look in her tawny eyes. Rubbing her bum, Hermione wanted really badly to hex her back, and was even lifting her wand to do so - maybe a Shrinking Charm to her breasts - when out of nowhere a crow swooped down from the rafters and attacked Marlene's head of gold hair.

Marlene began to shriek, "GET IT OFF! OFF OFF OFF NOW!" along with some colorful, unladylike swears. Everyone's duels seemed to stop as they all turned their attention to Marlene's flailing and screeching.

Hermione tried hard not to laugh. She really did. But it was just too much. She gave a chuckle and she laughed harder when she saw Wendy give a little giggle as well. James, not too far away, was absolutely dying laughing, falling over to the floor and rolling with his mirth - literally.

Lily, however, rushed over to Marlene and was circling the girl, trying to find a way to help. "Oh, Marlene, just hold still!" Lily told her, but the girl wasn't having any of it.

In the back of her mind somewhere, Hermione wondered why Sirius hadn't rushed to help his girlfriend, but dismissed it quickly when she saw the bird going at Marlene's ear.

Hermione, for reasons unknown, felt an odd sense of guilt and begrudgingly went to assist Lily.

"NO! NONONO! YOU GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU EVIL BITCH!" Marlene screamed at Hermione. "YOU DID THIS TO ME!"

"I didn't, Marlene, I promise!" Hermione said, getting closer as the bird pecked rapidly at Marlene's noggin with its beak. "Please hold still so Lily and I can help!"

"NO!"

Then, out of nowhere, Marlene went completely, unnaturally, stiff. Lily and Hermione turned and they saw Alice walking over, wand raised. Alice had put the panicking girl in a Full-Body Bind. "Well, hurry up and get rid of the bird!" Alice said with a laugh.

The crow, who was also stunned, was plucked and untangled from Marlene's hair by Hermione. It was kind of funny, really, the position it was frozen in - wings spread, beak open angrily, talons spread.

Once the bird and Marlene were separated, Alice made the mistake of releasing Marlene from the Bind.

"Kill it!" was the first thing Marlene exclaimed. "Kill that filthy, evil animal!"

"It was probably just confused," Hermione defended, holding the bird to her chest. "It's probably been stuck in here and -"

"Don't play the innocent act, you slag!" Marlene growled. "YOU summoned that bird and YOU sent it to attack me!"

"I didn't!" Hermione shot back. "Don't get me wrong, I'd love to take credit for this - but I didn't!"

"Then who did?!"

"YOU TWO!" Moody bellowed, limping over to them. "Quit your hissy, girly, nonsense squabbling and shut up about the damned bird! Just let it out a window, will you?" Then he turned to the rest of the room. "In a battle, if Miss McKinnon were spontaneously attacked by a flying rat, would you all just drop your wands and turn to stare?! No! Constant vigilance, you idiots! Now get back to work!"

...

Once James was able to breathe again after the Marlene incident - which he would always and forever think was possibly the funniest thing on the planet - he turned to Sirius and asked, "Did you do that, Pads?"

Sirius shook his head, his brow furrowed. "Why would I do that?"

"Because she hexed Hermione," James answered.

"She did?" Sirius asked, looking confused and and a little angry. "I didn't see that happen. I thought you were the one who sent the bird at Marlene."

"Could it have been Peter?"

"Naw, Peter's terrified of birds," Sirius said. "Wouldn't put himself in the same room with him on purpose. I mean, look at him." He pointed across the room to where Peter had put himself behind a pillar until the crow was out of the room, sitting on Hermione's arm still petrified.

"And Remus wouldn't do something like that," James added. "So who did?"

"Maybe it was like Hermione said," Sirius said. "Maybe it was just trapped in here and was confused."

"But why would it freak out at that moment? And why Marlene?" James pointed out. "It doesn't make sense."

Sirius shrugged. "Weird bird."

...

In the backyard, standing at the front of the dying garden, Hermione unpetrified the bird and stiffened, waiting for it to resume its frenzy, but... it didn't. It just shook out its feathers and perched itself on Hermione's arm, then hopping up onto her shoulder.

"Well, Mr. Crow, I suppose I should thank you," Hermione said, tentatively stroking its feathers. "I don't know why you did it, but thanks anyway. I appreciate it. I do hope you didn't do too much damage to Marlene's scalp though, because that wouldn't be very nice and I would never hear the end of it." Hermione smiled at the bird. "Now go on your way. You probably have a family to get to. Only, for you they're called murders, right? Instead of flocks? A bit morbid, but it fits well enough. Well, go on!"

It took a few seconds - the bird was obviously enjoying being stroked - but it eventually flapped its wings and lifted off her shoulder and into the sky.

...~oOo~...

It was the last day of March when Lily sent Hermione a letter, inviting her to a picnic. Hermione had been looking at the job listings in the Prophet when and owl just flew in through the open window and landed right on top of the page she was reading. Apparently, this owl had an attitude, which made sense since it was_ Lily's_ owl.

The picnic was at noon and it was going to be held in a Muggle park near her and James's new home. It wasn't far from Diagon Alley and it was a lovely day outside, so Hermione answered that she would be joining them, and sent the owl off without thinking.

Then she remembered that Sirius was likely to be there and sighed. She wondered if Marlene would be there. She'd only seen Sirius and Marlene at the same time in the one Order meeting, and they weren't near one another, but Hermione only assumed that it was because of the exercise and that everything must have been going well between them. After all, she'd specifically told Sirius to stay with Marlene and he hadn't given any indication that he would do otherwise.

And Remus hadn't mentioned anything either, so Hermione decided that she would have to have some chamomile tea before facing Marlene again.

Hermione put on a white t-shirt, blue denims, and black ballet flats. She twisted her hair into a kind-of braid and decided she was ready to go. She left Diagon Alley through the Leaky and walked the whole way, enjoying the stroll through the city, even if the drivers were all lunatics and the pedestrians were less than friendly. But she'd felt so isolated the past few weeks and society was welcome.

The park was spattered with people. Joggers, people having lunch or coffee, kite fliers. At the lake in the middle were young kids launching boats with their dads. There was a concrete and stone bridge over the lake and when she looked across it, she saw them - it looked like Remus was trying to explain to Peter how to fly a big red kite that he was having trouble with while James and Sirius were being ridiculous and racing up a very tall tree, Lily at the base of it, shouting for them to get their arses down.

With no Marlene in sight, Hermione was feeling substantially better about accepting the invitation.

She'd just crossed the bridge when Remus called out, "'Lo, Hermione!" She waved back.

Sirius fell out of the tree with a painful thud.

"Oh my God!" Hermione shouted reflexively, running over, along with Lily, Remus, and Peter. James was scaling his way back down the tree as well as he could - but going down was not the same as going up.

"Someone do VCR!" Peter exclaimed, his hands waving in a panic.

"Do you mean CPR?" Remus said, brow raised.

"Whatever!"

"I'm afraid CPR wouldn't apply in this situation," Lily told him. "And he's awake, look."

Sirius was blinking and wincing. "Ouch," he said, though it didn't sound like he was in too much pain. "Did I win?" he rasped, reaching behind himself to rub his back.

"Stay still!" Hermione snapped.

"Why?" Sirius asked. "I feel fine." He grinned. "You look lovely today, by the way. I'm liking what you've done with your, er, hair."

"Shut up, Casanova, and put your head back," Lily hissed, shoving his forehead back, making his cringe again. She then began feeling around tentatively at his neck. "Does anything hurt?"

"I told you - no," Sirius said. "I'm much more interested in knowing what Hermione's doing here. Not that I'm not thrilled to see you, my dear," he added with a wink.

Rolling her eyes, Hermione said, "You could have killed yourself."

"What's the fun of anything if life isn't at risk?" Sirius answered. "Hypothetically, I could die by choking on Lily's cooking. I could die walking on the bridge, tripping on a stone, and drowning in the water."

"It's different if you purposely court danger," Remus pointed out, offering a hand up to Sirius, who accepted it and hoisted himself up. "You're too old to climb trees."

"I'm nineteen!" Sirius rejected. "I'll stop climbing trees the day Merlin takes me."

"Which could have been today," Peter said with a horrified little expression.

Sirius waved this off and then looked up at the tree that James was awkwardly lowering himself from. "Need any help, mate?"

"Naw, I think I'm good," James said, though he didn't sound too sure. He was maneuvering himself down through the branches. "You know, I've never actually had to climb down before. Blasted Muggles every-fucking-where."

Lily shook her eyes, rolling her eyes. "Men," she muttered. "Good to see you out and about, though, Hermione."

"It truly is," Sirius agreed, looking Hermione up and down with a rakish smirk. "I must say you look particularly fresh and beautiful today."

"Have you no shame?" Hermione said to him, scrunching her nose.

"Why should I be ashamed of appreciating a wonderful young lady?"

"Well, I don't think your girlfriend would appreciate it," Hermione pointed it, walking to join Lily at the picnic blanket.

Sirius glared accusingly at Remus. "You didn't tell her?"

"It isn't my business," Remus refuted.

"You certainly acted like it was your business when you just so happened to drop by Hermione's when -"

Holding up a hand before he could finish that sentence, Hermione said, "What are you two talking about?"

"Marlene and Sirius broke up," Lily told Hermione while Remus and Sirius went on to bicker like a couple of old ladies.

"B-but... I told him not to! Sirius, I told you not to!" Hermione quipped.

"Well, I certainly wasn't going to stay with her after you and I -"

"I SAID I DIDN'T WANT DETAILS." Lily slapped her hands over her ears. "Marlene and I are friends and I do not want to hear anything of which you two did when they were still together, understand?"

Remus nodded. "I've seen enough anyway. Sirius half-naked was enough for me."

"That's ridiculous since you've seen me completely starkers," Sirius pointed out.

"Not willingly!"

There was a loud thump behind all of them. James, lying prone on the ground by the tree, raised on hand and announced, "I'm alright!"

This madness was a lot to take sometime, but with a smile, Hermione realized that she'd definitely missed it.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What other silliness with the Marauders get into during their picnic? 3. Who do you think made the crow attack Marlene?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	32. Honest Or Daring

A/N. I just thought I'd let you all know - I'VE WON THE INFAMOUS NAME ARGUMENT! Since my first trimester, my FOMB and I have fought and fought on the name of the baby - especially after we found out it was a boy. But I have finally won the argument and we officially have a name - BUT I won't be announcing it until he's born :) (Cassie, you're not allowed to spoil it for everyone! Hehe!)

So I'm starting up a playlist and song for the chapters again, as I did for TLM, and this chapter's song is going to be "Arms" by Christina Perri. I love that song :)

Also, Sirius's current song is probably "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers.

BTW, this chapter is very... fluffy. Just warning ya ;) Marauder shenanigans and lots of fun.

Resa Fun Fact:

In case you haven't noticed, I'm a big advocate for indie music, between my epic Mumford & Sons and Florence + the Machine obsession.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Thirty-Two: Honest Or Daring

Strangely enough, that day in the park, Sirius did indeed fall into the lake - just as he'd sarcastically said he would. He did not, however, drown or die. And it wasn't even by Hermione's hand. It was actually Lily, who they all suspected was getting revenge on the fact he'd said he could die by choking on her cooking. James, who'd seemed to see what his wife was planning to do, had grabbed the camera in the nick of time and snapped a great shot of Lily actively shoving Sirius and his tumble into the water, along with his massive splash.

Spluttering, he'd stood up, his hair sticking to his face and overing his eyes, his t-shirt slick and formed to his body, displaying his impressive physique for the whole park to see, his pants having the same effect. Shaking her head, Hermione made a comment about that maybe if he didn't wear such tight clothes, half of the mothers (and some grandmothers) in the area wouldn't be ogling him.

Sirius had shook himself thoroughly like a... well... a dog. He'd shook so precisely that he'd sprayed a squealing Lily. Hermione watched from the picnic blanket, laughing with James. Remus and Peter, who were enjoying a Chess game, joined in on the laughter.

"You think this is funny?" Sirius demanded, arms spread and showing his drenched body pointedly.

Hermione nodded. Oh, she really did.

"How'd you like to go for a dunk then, if you think it's so funny?" Sirius said, his eyes slitting and gaining a dangerous mischief in them. She knew that look too well.

Hermione's laughing abruptly ceased, face falling into a frown. "Sirius Black, I swear, if you even think -"

Next thing she knew, she was slung over his shoulder like no more than a rag doll and Hermione was shouting and shrieking for him to put her down. This reminded her far too much of Hogwarts. With a mighty swing, Hermione felt her stomach drop as he body did, gravity doing its work, hurting her towards water - but a teasing half-second later, Sirius caught her around the waist and swung her around in a circle back towards the grass.

"You... you ARSE!" Hermione shouted, but it was laced with too much laughter to make her point. "Now put me down!" she commanded, but Sirius only shifted her under his arm like she was a load of books and he walked her over to the blanket, plopping her down onto her rump.

Hermione thought she'd been relieved when she hadn't hit the water, but she was still very wet from being carried by the soaked Sirius. Giving Sirius a look, she began waving her hands at the damp spots of her shirt, trying to dry them.

Sirius, on the other hand, was rather pleased with his handiwork, being able to see through the white cotton to Hermione's conservative pink bra. At this point, he was going to take whatever he could get when it came to Hermione. Even if that meant sneaking peeks at her backside and getting her shirts wet on purpose.

Lily was grinning but said, "Hermione, if James ever scared me like that, I'd kill him."

"He's your husband, you have murdering rights," Hermione pointed out, making Lily laugh and James have a sort of stricken look.

"Wait... that's not a real thing, right?" James asked suspiciously.

"Trust me, my love," Lily said, sitting herself in his lap comfortably. "If it were, you'd be dead long ago." She graced his cheek with a kiss.

"Somehow, that doesn't comfort me," James replied, but smirking and giving Lily's hip a playful squeeze anyway.

A strangled sound of frustration came from their left. They all turned and saw Peter slumped over, red-faced, with Remus wearing one of those smug smiles that reminded Hermione of why he was definitely a Marauder.

Peter walked on his knees over to the blanket, going straight for the picnic basket. "Remus kicked me arse," Peter said petulantly.

"What else is new?" Sirius asked.

"Yes, but this time I was sure I was going to win," Peter said, half-whining. James rolled his eyes amusedly.

"Anyone else want to take on the King?" Remus inquired, eyes bright and smirking. She'd never seen him so cocky before. He was probably channeling Sirius right then.

"Not even a little bit," Sirius said.

Looking at the board, Hermione said, "Muggle Chess?"

Remus nodded.

"Then, I guess I'll give it a go. I'm warning you, though, I'm not very good."

"It's okay, Hermione, you're probably better than Wormtail," James told her, earning a swift arm-punch from Peter. James only laughed.

Hermione did lose to Remus, but she held her own for quite a while, and even Remus said he was impressed.

They stayed in the park than they thought they would, but they all enjoyed the time together. Lily and James were taking pictures left and right, Lily saying they were for her scrapbook. One of them was of Hermione lying on her stomach in the grass, reading a book (_Jane Eyre_, of course) and Sirius lying on his stomach, facing her, sneaking looks at the text and resting his chin on his hands. There was also one of Sirius sitting up against the trunk of the tree, eyes shut, and Remus having fallen asleep against his side.

They had one of a little boy by the lake showing a clueless Peter about how the boats worked. And, of course, Hermione had stolen the camera for a bit, and took several of a happy James and Lily, sharing loving looks and brief kisses, all cuddled up and smiling.

"I have an idea," Sirius said once it was around dinnertime and no one wanted to end their time together and were putting off going home as long as possible. "Let's play a game. Like... Honest or Daring!"

"It's called Truth or Dare, Sirius," Lily corrected him. "And that's more Muggle fourteen-year-old girls' speed. We're adults."

"Barely," Remus said with a smirk. He was sitting next to Hermione, looking over her shoulder at her book every now and then. "We're nineteen, Lily. Why are you in such a rush to be an adult?"

"We have plenty of youth left," Sirius agreed. "And if we spend that youth on Honest or Daring -"

"Truth or Dare."

"- then so be it," Sirius finished, ignoring Hermione's correction. "James, Honest or Daring."

With an uncertain look, James said, "Are we really doing this?"

Peter raised an eyebrow. "I'm not even really sure how this game goes."

Remus said, "Well, if you choose Truth -"

"Honest," Sirius cut in.

Going on, Remus said, "Then you're asked a question and you have to answer it and tell the truth."

Peter blanched. "L-like... any question?"

"Yep," Sirius said.

"Is there Veritaserum involved?" Peter asked.

Lily, chuckling, said, "Nothing so extreme, Pete. It's just for fun, to get to know each other better."

Remus nodded. "But if you choose Dare."

"DARING!"

"Then," Remus smirked, "we all choose a 'dare' for you to do, something crazy or funny, and you have to do it."

"And no," Lily said before Peter could ask. "There is no Imperius Curse involved."

Peter looked visibly relieved. "Sometimes I love Muggles."

"But no matter what it is, you have to do it," Sirius said severely, his face grave. "Like... if we asked you to drop your pants or kill a man - you have to do it! Do you understand, Peter?"

Looking shaken by Sirius's sudden solemnity, he nodded. But Hermione saw the amusement dancing in Sirius's eyes and shook her head.

"HONEST OR DARING," Sirius then shouted, far louder than necessary, and pointing boldly at James.

Scratching his chin James considered, "Hmm... Truth, I guess."

"By which you mean 'Honest', right?" Sirius pressed.

"Yes, yes, whatever makes you happy, Padfoot."

They went on like that, asking light questions at first, and their dares getting more and more ridiculous as they went on. They had Sirius running over the bridge shirtless singing I'm A Little Tea Pot, earning lots of giggles from the little kids around and a lot of flushed, lustful looks from their nannies. Remus's truth was to describe his first time in excruciating detail, which made Peter giggle anxiously and Hermione roll over onto her face and cover her ears, muttering, "I can't do this, I can't listen to this" while Sirius and James guffawed. Remus was blushing, but he talked swiftly and got it over with, being a good sport.

When they asked Lily why she'd wanted to know how Remus lost his virginity, she answered, "Well, I had a crush on him in Fourth Year and I wanted to know if it was like I imagined it would be."

James went white as a sheet and may or may not have lost consciousness for a brief minute and a half. Peter asked if he had what Muggles called a "stoke" - to which Lily corrected him was "stroke", and that, yes, that just might be what was happening to him.

Remus looked confused but shrugged like "whatever".

When the game resumed, Hermione kept picking "Daring" because she was just not a convincing liar if they were to ask questions that could tip them off. This had her doing a many embarrassing things like licking her own foot and giving Remus a lap dance, but really it was quite pathetic, and the second she'd sat in his lap they both busted out into laughter.

"Why couldn't I get the lap dance?" Sirius demanded of James, the one who'd given the Dare.

"Remus needed it more, mate," James said, heartily clapping his mate on the shoulder. "And Peter is taken - it wouldn't be fair to Francine!"

Hermione and Lily gave a shudder. Creepy Francine.

The game went on. James gave a striptease that would be burned in all of their memories for the rest of their lives, and any lives they'd have after that. Though, when Lily tucked a pound down the front of his jeans, they all died a little. Peter was forced to win in the lake, dive down, and retrieve any odd object he found in there. That was a fun one, even if anything involving Peter turned Hermione's stomach.

They'd all stood on the bridge, clapping and cheering him on (Hermione didn't do either, just hung over the railing of the bridge, watching as Peter ducked down. A dark, sadistic part of her heart was hoping that Peter would drown, but knew that was unlikely. Any of the boys standing on the bridge would, without a second thought, dive in after Peter if there was any sign of distress. They would give their lives for him. And that's what sickened Hermione the most.

The Marauders (the real, true Marauders) loved too much and too hard, even where they shouldn't. They were filled with hardheadedness and passion and rock-solid morals. And as Hermione watched Remus, Sirius, and James all cheer for their traitor best friend, she wanted to cry. So young and vibrant and happy. She wanted her mind to be branded with their smiled forever.

Peter retrieved a pair of water goggles, the concept of which boggled him completely. They were old, one of the lenses cracked, and the color of the elastic band was faded.

They all stared at his prize and after the initial excitement, they all stared at them with fading interest.

"Well, I don't want them," Peter said, water dripping down his nose.

Remus shrugged. "Me neither."

"You're lunatics, because I want them and I'm going to bloody have them!" Sirius said, snatching them from Peter's fingers and stuffing them in his pocket.

They stayed until it was time for the sun to set. They all watched it, admiring it from their own special points of view. Remus watched it, lying on his back and staring so intently it was like he was staring through the sun. Lily and James were holding each other close, Lily so touched by the litany of oranges, pinks, and golds that she teared up. Peter had fallen asleep by the tree and Hermione had started alone on the bridge until Sirius joined her.

Without a single innuendo or teasing comment, and even without a cocky, arrogant smile, Sirius silently took Hermione's hand in his.

The sun, a big buttery golden sun, painted the sky with its brilliance and sunk itself into the earth. Like a yellow seed, it went into the ground, leaving behind a silvery grey night sky - the same color as Sirius's eyes. The moon was nearly full, reflected in Remus's sad eyes and on the lake.

Even while knowing the tragedy that was approaching, the lives that would be stolen, the hell that would plague them, in that moment Hermione couldn't help but feel... okay.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. If you've ever played Truth or Dare ("HONEST OR DARING!" "Shut up, Sirius!") what has been your favorite question/dare? 3. What will happen between Hermione and Sirius next chapter?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	33. Boredom & Ice Cream

A/N. These last few days I had a very intense relationship with Writer's Block. It was a passionate tug-o-war that delayed my writing this chapter. I wrote and re-wrote it three times and I STILL don't like it. I plan to break it off with Mr. Block IMMEDIATELY because he is fucking up my writing style. Please forgive me.

Resa Fun Fact:

I have a rather extensive owl collection. That's right, I have almost over novelty owl plushies, figurines, clothing, and even a timer. *obsessed* I've been collecting for a long time now, actually.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Thirty-Three: Niceness & Ice Cream

"I don't know, Remus," Hermione said one day as Remus was taking inventory of a new shipment of books. It was a Wednesday afternoon and Flourish and Blotts was dead. Hermione's landlord and Remus's boss was out of town for a while, so they decided a little rule-breaking was in order. Hermione sat behind the counter, even though unauthorized, and talked to Remus all day even though it was his work hours.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't the most daring of rule-breaking, but for the two bookworms it felt definitely naughty.

Remus took care in scribbling down the title and author of a book and then checking it off on another list. "Hermione, you know Lily would be thrilled if you accepted."

"I know, and I would be too, truly, but I'm unsure if I really want to invade their space when they're still in that honeymoon phase, you know?" Hermione explained, leaning on the counter next to Remus.

"Though they wouldn't see it as an invasion, I sort of see your point," Remus granted. "Sirius and I went over for dinner one night and caught them going at it on the dining table."

Hermione's nose scrunched. "Tell me you didn't eat on it."

"Well, they'd been so... ahem... _into_ it that they hadn't even noticed us walk in, so we kind of backed up, closed the door quietly, and went back to the Floo so we could pretend to re-enter," he said with a curl to his lip. "And since we couldn't come up with an excuse not to, well... yes, we ate on the table."

Hermione gagged a little. "No number of Scourgify's would make me eat on that table. Thank you for telling me this, because now I am _definitely_ not moving in with them."

Remus smirked. "Yes, I know what you mean. I probably wouldn't either."

"But, it's just... Lily had seem so excited about having me around more and she made it clear that she wouldn't tolerate my current cockroach-infested dwelling, so I don't know what to do," Hermione explained. "I want Lily to be happy, but... I just will not live with her and James."

"Okay," Remus said, facing Hermione and putting down the book he was holding. "I'm putting this on the table. You don't have to say yes and you don't have to answer right now, but... I would love it if you came to stay with Sirius and I. Hell, Sirius would love it. Lily would be satisfied that you're out of your dingy flat and living closer."

Hermione frowned. "Remus, I... I don't know. That's just a bit much, don't you think? For Sirius and I? He'd be giddy like a schoolboy, I'm sure, but realistically..."

"Don't answer right away," Remus said, patting her shoulder comfortingly. "Just think on it. It wouldn't be an imposition, I swear. If anything, you'd be doing us a favor."

Shaking her head with a small smile, Hermione said, "This is all a ploy to score a live-in maid, isn't it?"

Remus laughed. "Cleaning, I can do, Hermione. It's the cooking that I'd dump on you."

"I'm not a very good cook either," Hermione reported with an apologetic look.

"Then I guess we'll starve," Remus said. "But we should have a pact that when it comes down to it and we have to choose... we're eating Sirius first."

"Most definitely."

...~oOo~...

April became June. And in June, Hermione moved in with Sirius and Remus. All the Marauders and Lily helped move her things and set her up in her new room, at the very end of Sirius and Remus's flat, which was officially referred to as the Den.

It was the middle of June that Remus decided to have a serious conversation with her.

"Hermione," he said after dinner one night. Sirius was digging through the freezer for ice cream while Hermione was washing the dishes at the sink. Remus was sitting at their smallish dining table, his hands clasped and rested in front of him. He was using what Hermione internally called his Professor Voice.

"Yes, Remus?" Hermione said, not paying much attention to how serious he looked or sounded. She was very determined to get a stubborn spot on a pan to go away without magic.

"I have something I need to tell you," he said slowly.

"Anything," she said, giving him a smile and going at the stone with her scrubber.

"I'm... well. Hermione, I'm a werewolf," he said solemnly.

There was a very tense pause. Sirius had stopped looking for ice cream and instead looked over at Hermione, waiting for a reaction. Remus was practically sweating.

They hadn't been expecting her to start laughing, that was for sure.

Hermione couldn't stop herself. The laughs just came and it was hard to stop. How could she have forgotten! She totally forgot that they had no clue she knew about Remus's furry little problem.

"I'm not joking, Hermione, if that's why you're laughing," Remus said hesitantly.

Still chuckling, Hermione put down the pan, dried off her hands, and walked over to him. She took his face in her hands and bent forward to kiss his forehead, still grinning like mad. Finally, she said, "I know, Remus. I've known for a long time."

"Wha?" Sirius said, dumbfounded. Remus's eyes were wide as saucers at this news.

"What do you take me for, an idiot?" Hermione said, with no real anger. She was just... this was so silly. He'd sounded so dramatic and serious and... There came the giggles again. "I've known practically since I met you! You think you could sneak away during the full moon without me noticing? Just like I know all about James, Sirius, Peter and their illegal Animagus abilities."

"Wait just a bloody minute!" Sirius quipped, pointing at her accusingly with his spoon. "Who told you? Was it Wormtail? Because that little punk can never keep his mouth -"

"No, no, no," Hermione said. "First off, your nicknames certainly gave enough away. Really, it wasn't all that difficult to figure out," she fibbed lightly.

Then, in hysterical little bursts, Remus started laughing too. Incredulous, amazed little laughs. Hermione joined in, propping herself up against the counter to hold herself up.

"I don't find this funny," Sirius said, snatching out the ice cream, tossing off the top and digging in with his spoon. He was shaking his head, shoving a big gob of chocolate chunk into his mouth. "Every secret I've ever had... gone," he sulked. "How long have you known?"

"Almost since I met you," Hermione said with a shrug. That would teach him to keep secrets from her ever again. "Same way I knew about the Map. You four are not nearly as subtle as you think you are. Now, Sirius, do use a bowl."

"No," Sirius said, picking up the carton. "I'm going in my room, eating all of this ice cream, and moping. Finds out what I thought were my secrets in our relationship were actually my girlfriend's secrets. This sucks." He dragged himself out of the room dejectedly.

Remus and Hermione shared a look and started laughing again.

...~oOo~...

3 MONTHS LATER

"Remus! Sirius! Could someone please come help me?" Hermione called out as she left her room on one July evening. She was shoving her tiny hoop earrings in through her ears.

Sirius emerged from his room and leaned against his doorjamb. "I'm not helping you," he groused.

"I just want you to -"

"Zip your dress. Yes, yes, I know - and I won't do it," he said.

"You're kidding, right?" Hermione said. "Even you can't be this petty. Just zip up my dress, Sirius." She turned around and waited. Her hair was already pulled up into a bun, away from the gaping part of the dress.

Sirius stared at the triangle of exposed skin. All the way down to the middle of her back, just open flesh, free to touch. But he shook his head. "I'm not doing it."

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Hermione slowly turned back around to Sirius. "I have been out with Owen three times, Sirius. Three times. Can you please drop the jealousy act and just help me get dressed."

"What's so special about this guys, anyway? This... _Owen_," he said, as if the name were an expletive. "Owen Haversham, or whatever the fuck his last name is."

"Owen Harker," Hermione said, rolling her eyes. "Sirius, we've talked about this."

"I don't care if we've talked about what Owen Hard-on's name is or isn't, and I don't care that we've talked about how you want to be friends or some such nonsense -"

"Sirius, in case you've forgot, back in March, when I came back and Remus walked in on us, you agreed that we were making a mistake," Hermione said firmly, tempted to take out her pointer finger. Sirius hated being given the pointer finger, saying that it reminded him of his mother and how she'd wag her finger disapprovingly. It really hacked him off. "You said, 'didn't mean anything'. Stop acting like it did!" With a huff, she began marching down the hall towards their living area.

"I was being an idiot, like I usually am!" Sirius said, right behind her. "Really, you shouldn't be surprised. Half of what I say means shite. Yes, I said it didn't mean anything - but then we had that day at the park and I thought we connected!"

"Yes, we did, Sirius. We became _friends_ again! Aren't you happy that we're friends again?" she demanded.

"Of course I am!"

"Then why are you sabotaging that?" Hermione snapped. "Now go back in your room! All of your glaring makes Owen uncomfortable. Remus, darling?"

Remus sat up from where he was lounging on the couch with a book. "Yes?"

"Do me up, please? Sirius is being immature about it."

"Sure," Remus said easily, standing up, walking over and sliding her dress shut with an easy flick of his hand. "Really, Sirius, was that so difficult?"

Hermione kissed Remus's cheek. "Thank you, Remus. I appreciate it."

"Do we have ice cream?" Sirius asked.

"Sirius, every time you get frustrated, you eat a carton of ice cream. You're going to gain weight and, worst, the rest of us are left ice cream-less because you're so damn easily frustrated," Remus said firmly. "Have... celery or something."

"Do we or do we not have ice cream?" Sirius said, louder this time.

"No, we don't," Hermione said, lifting her clutch off the the hutch in their living area. It was where they all kept their keys, wallets, and wands when they didn't need them. "I didn't buy any for the exact same reasons that Remus just said."

"Alright, _Mum and Dad_," Sirius said glibly. "I am an adult. And when I want ice cream, I'll damn well have ice cream."

Hermione shrugged. "Then go buy some yourself."

"Maybe I will!" he snapped back.

"The door's right there!" Hermione said, gesturing to the door with a flourish.

Sirius crossed his arms. "Not when before you're picked up."

With a growl, Hermione threw her hands in the air and shoved her falling bra strap up on her shoulder. "Remus, do me a favor and restrain Sirius when Owen gets here."

Remus said, "I'm not going to lie, I'm not a big fan of this bloke either, Hermione."

"Oh, come on, Remus! He's a perfectly nice, responsible, and handsome man."

"Which translates to boring," Sirius said shortly. "You said so yourself, his sense of humor is practically nonexistent. He's a banker, for God's sake!"

Remus nodded. "You can do better, Hermione."

"Neither of you get a say in who I date, understand? I know Owen isn't like you guys, okay? He may not get most jokes, but at least he's not planting dungbombs under my seat!" Hermione said proudly. "I like him. He's normal."

"Is that really what you want for your life, Hermione?" Sirius challenged. "'Normal'?"

Hermione nodded. She was neck-deep in insanity. She needed some conventionality.

Shaking his head, Sirius said, "You are going to lead a very nice, boring life, Hermione. And if there are two things that I hate more than anything else, they are 'nice' and 'boring'."

"Well, I'm not you, Sirius." With one last look in the mirror by the door, she said, "I'll meet Owen down on the pavement. I'll see you both when I get home."

As she walked out the door, Sirius shouted, "Of course you'll be home! Because he's boring and nice and wouldn't know how to find his willy with both hands!"

The door was slammed shut and Sirius and Remus both stared at the door blankly.

"Nice going, mate," Remus said, giving him a firm pat on the shoulder. "She'll really come around, now."

Sirius sighed. "Yeah. I know. I'm a fuck-up."

"Want to go to Fortescue's?" Remus asked, hoping to cheer his friend up.

"I think I'm gonna need something stronger than ice cream now, mate," Sirius said with a sigh. "Let's go to the pub."

...

Unfortunately, Sirius had Owen's number, and Hermione knew it. Owen was very average height, average weight, wore grey and black suits, and yes, was a banker. The only jokes he every attempted were bad puns, but Hermione found this endearing and kind of cute, especially when she was around the Marauders' raunchy jokes and innuendo all of the time.

Owen had brownish hair that might once have been blonde and blue eyes. His nose was narrow, his smile kind, and Sirius said he had a thin mouth. But really, what man had plump lips. He had pocket squares and spare hankies and always pulled out her chair.

Yes. He was nice. And sometimes, a bit boring. Hermione liked to talk about a lot of different things, but Owen was only familiarized with a few very key things in his life that he liked to talk about. When Hermione tried to discuss house-elves, she could see his eyes sort of glaze over and he would nod at appropriate intervals.

But, Hermione was giving him the benefit of the doubt. This was only their third date.

Hermione had met him when she was setting up an account at Gringotts. He worked under the Goblins, but often helped complete paperwork. She'd been giving her signature when they met and they immediately took a liking to each other. Hence the first date.

But Hermione couldn't help but feel, sitting across from him at a perfectly nice restaurant, that the comfortable silence hanging over them was only acceptable for couples who have been married for twenty years.

Sirius was getting her head and she knew it. She was trying to push him out, but it was so true. Restaurants. Three times, in perfectly nice restaurants with good food, good service, and good ambiance.

So then why was she suddenly homesick for a pub with four rowdy boys?

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What will happen between Hermione and Owen? 3. What kind of shenanigans will go on with Hermione's new living arrangements?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	34. Bed & Breakfast

A/N. There has been a drastic decrease in review these last few chapters. If you haven't been enjoying, I'm sorry *frowns* *shame*

Okay, so here's a little just-so-you-know. I am due on the** 1st of January** (no I am not joking, I kinda wish I was) so, prior to that day, and possible days after, there will likely be no updates. I will try to make it up to you in these upcoming days will rapid writing (try being the operative word).

This chapter picks up on the date with Owen last chapter.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Thirty-Four: Bed & Breakfast

Looking down at the dessert menu, Hermione chewed her bottom lip. This had to be the longest, most dragging, of their dates. She really hoped Owen would realize this, but he looked happy as a Hippogriff with a ferret dangling from his beak. Owen like quiet evenings and steak, and so this evening was pretty much perfect in his eyes.

But Hermione was a conversationalist, she liked to talk and listen to responses. Also, she was a bit bland on her own, she needed someone to off-set that. Owen was just... too much like a slightly dimmer version of her.

She would kill for a laugh right then. She was struck by an idea.

"Sirius told me a funny joke yesterday," she said, looking over her menu at him.

"Hmm?" he said. "What sort of joke? Was it inappropriate, because he definitely seems the type."

"Not horribly, no." Hermione cleared her throat lightly. "Okay, so it goes like this. A drunken man staggers into a Catholic church and sits down in the confessional, but says nothing. The priest is confused, so he coughs to attract the man's attention, but the man still remains silent. The priest then knocks on the wall separating them three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.

"Finally, the drunk replies - 'No use knockin', mate. There's no toilet paper in this one either.'"

When Sirius had told then joke, she'd just grimaced while silently finding it amusing in its own rude way. Remus had chuckled and James and Peter fell out of their chairs. Lily even smirked.

However, when Hermione retold it to Owen, she got a painfully blank stare and a few blinks.

After a minute, he said, "Oh, I understand. He thought the confessional was the loo."

Killing her slowly, Hermione coughed quietly and said, "Yes. That would be... yes."

"Sirius is a strange sort, isn't he?"

With an indelicate snort, she said, "Indeed." Hermione looked at Owen's wine glass. Half empty. Hadn't been refilled once since they arrived.

When the boys wanted Hermione to "dislodge the wand from her arse", they usually handed her a drink to loosen her up. She wondered if it would have the same effect on Owen.

"Owen, how do you feel about going to the pub tonight?" she asked, folding her menu and putting it down.

"The pub? Whatever for?" he said with a confused little smile.

"Well, to... drink," she said. "To have a few butterbeers, maybe?" Butterbeers doused with plenty of Firewhiskey. "It will be fun!"

"Hmm... it's getting late, though, isn't it?" He looked at his watch.

Hermione looked at hers. 9:37 in the evening. Certainly getting late, indeed... if you were, say, Dumbledore's age. Actually, never mind that. Dumbledore still fancied a good cognac and nighttime activities, she was sure - he was practically in his prime.

Owen was not 130. He was twenty-three.

"And I have errands in the morning," Owen went on. "Sheets to balance and whatnot. And I'm not a huge drinker."

Neither was Hermione, really. But it was barely dark out and it was Friday night and she, frankly, wanted a reason to smile. And Owen just wasn't giving her that.

She ached for Sirius, Remus, and James. Her and Owen were on their third date and he wouldn't move to hold her hand for more than a few moments, but the boys - _her _boys - would squeeze her hands, hug her until she couldn't breathe, and snuggle up next to her to in bed when they wanted her to wake up and make breakfast. Her friends were more intimate with her than her supposed boyfriend.

Maybe Sirius had gotten in her head with all his anti-Owen rot, and maybe he hadn't.

But Hermione was bored out of her rather large, rather clever, mind.

Standing up abruptly, acting without think, she slung her purse up on her shoulder.

Owen looked a little surprised. "Going to powder your nose?"

"I'm afraid not," she said, feeling very nervous and like everyone was watching her, even if it was only Owen. She swallowed. "You see, Owen, you're an awfully... nice man. And successful in your field. And mature. But... so am I. And I think I need someone who challenges me intellectually and can stimulate me emotionally. You are definitely someone's Mr. Right, Owen, but... I think my Mr. Rights are probably at the pub, and that's where I intend to go. Without you. Good evening. Thank you for a lovely time, I hope we can still be friends."

Dropping a quick kiss to her cheek, Hermione dashed out of there faster than you can say "hinkypunk".

...

When Hermione entered the Leaky Cauldron, she'd only scanned half the pub before met with a chorus of hollers, all going, "HERMIONE!"

There they were. Her Marauders. Lily was there as well, which is why at first she probably didn't count right. There were four people there, certainly - but it was only James, Remus, and Peter.

She wondered if Sirius was still sulking with a carton of Rocky Road in his bedroom. She walked over, stripping off her heels as she went, and was met with a very enthusiastic embrace from a very intoxicated James. How did he manage to get so drunk so early in the evening? Couldn't be healthy. Remus was also looking flushed and Peter was hiccuping. Lily was apparently the Designated Disapparator, considering she had water in front of her.

"Hermione! How did your date go?" Lily asked once James was done suffocating her.

"I'm fairly certain Sirius has brainwashed me, because it was unbearable," Hermione said, throwing her shoes on top of the table, and sliding in next to Lily. "I need something to drink. James, you're creative - go to the bar and order me something surprising."

With a crooked salute, James danced off towards the barmaid.

Rubbing her eyes, she asked, "Where's Sirius?"

"Already went home," Remus said, shoving his hair back from his face. "Found himself a busty brunette with long legs."

"Oh, lovely," Hermione said grateful when James was already rushing back.

In front of her, he plopped a very tall glass filled with the most interesting looking drink she'd ever seen. It was a neon, almost glowing green at the top of the glass, but faded into a foggy black towards the bottom. Small spurts of vapor floated off the top of it.

"What is this?" she asked tentatively. "I asked for a drink, not poison."

Remus laughed, loudly. "That, my dear, is Dragon's Breath. What are you trying to do, James, kill her?"

"Funny story, Dragon's Breath," James said, throwing himself into the booth and tossing an arm around his wife. "Transfer from Durmstrang during our Third Year brought it to Hogwarts. Said their Headmaster drank the stuff like milk. Used to throw them together in the common room after Quidditch games. Funny thing is, the pubs 'round here'd never made it until students came, asking for it in droves."

"Is it good?" Hermione asked, turning the glass slowly and examining the liquid from all sides.

Peter sniggered so hard he snorted like a pig.

Remus said, "Think gasoline and apple juice."

"And since you've never had one, you gotta drink it, 'Mione," James told her, giving her a rough sort of poke in her shoulder. "It's a right of passage, it is!"

"It won't really kill you," Remus said confidentially. "Three parts absinthe, two Firewhiskey, one part gin, with a splash of peppermint shnapps and one powdered dragon's scale."

With a shrug, Hermione took the straw out of the glass, and brought it to her lips. At first, as she two two very long swallows, she had an apple-like taste on her tongue like Remus had said. But then the gasoline part kicked in and she almost gagged, putting the glass down, Hermione's face twisted unattractively, making every one of her friends laugh hysterically as she actually experienced pain.

The after-taste was like Polyjuice.

"Oh, God!" Hermione said once she was able to breathe again. "I think I may have just died for a half-second."

Peter was snorting so much he nearly toppled over. Actually, he did. Right onto the floor, bruising his rump. Good, Hermione thought grimly. Bastard deserved that and more.

Remus was laughing and nodding. "You might have, actually."

"First time I had one, I was pretty sure a part of my soul fell off," James agreed, grin broad, making his eyes crinkle. "Go on, drink more! The weird taste on your tongue will go away after the first one."

And so Hermione drank more than she'd ever in her life. Her conscience was trying to poke through, telling her how bad this idea was, but she just drank whatever the boys handed her, with Lily handing her gillywaters in between.

She was going to have fun if it was the last thing she'd do.

...~oOo~...

Dragon's Breath. She knew why it was named as such when she woke up the next morning. It felt like a Hungarian Horntail was stomping around in her head and her mouth tasted positively ghastly, the worst morning breath in history.

Remus lied. He said she wouldn't die, but it certainly felt like she was,

With a deep breath, locking in the nauseam, Hermione rolled heavily onto her side. Slowly, and with a lot of effort - her body actually ached - she heaved herself upward and clutched her bedside table for a moment as she regained equilibrium.

It felt like miles from her bed to her bedroom door, but she made it, opening it slowly. The creak of the hinges was like screeching to her ears and she went cross-eyed from it. With a deep breath, she dragged herself to Remus's door, which was open slightly, and peaked it.

"Remus," she whispered hoarsely. "Remus, save me." Opening it the rest of the way, Remus wasn't there.

A girl was there though. Naked and blonde.

She shook her head with a sort of grudging approval. "Remus, you dog. Or wolf. Or whatever."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

Hermione nearly screamed and spun around, which set a tornado off in her skull, and almost fell over, but Remus caught her and chuckled. "Sorry," he said before she could go off at him.

"Remus, I feel like I'm dying," she moaned.

Remus held out a vial and tucked it into her palm. "Hangover potion. Freshly brewed."

"Oh, I could kiss you," Hermione said, uncorking the bottle hastily and bringing it to her lips.

"Not with the taste I'm sure if happening in your mouth right now, please," Remus said, watching as the agony in Hermione's eyes dissolved and she stood up straighter. "All congratulatory kisses shall be postponed until after you've brushed your teeth. Thrice."

"So who is she?" Hermione asked as she padded to the bathroom. She was only faintly aware of the pact she was wearing a pair of Remus's boxers and a camisole, bra-less. She was just too overwhelmingly grateful for and end to that hangover.

"Her name's Sabrina," Remus said, leaning against the doorjamb as Hermione squeezed a liberal amount of paste to her toothbrush. "Nice girl. Intern at St. Mungo's and has a taste for dominance in bed."

With a grimace, Hermione said, "I didn't need to know that." She went at her teeth and tongue with a vengeance.

Remus smirked. "Just thought I'd let you know. Sirius and his bird are still asleep."

Hermione hid her cringe by opening her mouth wider, pretending she was just roughening up her teeth scrubbing.

"She's not all that pretty, you know."

"'Shabrinnahh?" Hermione asked through a mouthful of suds and brush.

"Not Sabrina, she's gorgeous. I meant Sirius's girl."

Hermione shrugged, trying to give off an "I don't care" vibe. But Remus saw right through it.

"Her hair is too... flat," he added, feigning casualty. "And her breasts far too big. Definitely not his type."

With a glare, Hermione spat into the sink. "I was under the impression that every type was Sirius's type. And you know Sirius. He loves his 'knockers', as he says." She wiped at her face with a towel and faced her friend. "Remus, I know what you're doing, and it's okay. I don't mind. Now what do you think Sabrina and Sirius's bimbo would like for breakfast?"

"Well, you see, most guys like slighter frames," Remus said, following after her, determined to make her feel better. "It's just, we go for bigger you-know-whats because we get bragging rights with our mates. The fact that Owen... and that guy at the pub... didn't want to take you home is that they're stupid and want credit with their friends."

Hermione took a pan down from the cabinet. "Crepes?"

"You were upset last night."

"I was actually in a very good mood last night, Remus," she corrected him, dragging out a bowl and flour.

"Until you were turned down by that bloke in the blue shirt. You called him Blue Shirt Bob, remember? And then you started crying on Lily's shoulder about Owen until James put another drink in front of you and -"

"I remember, Remus," she cut in glibly. She rolled her eyes. "I was drunk. Plastered. Under no circumstances would I have even propositioned... Blue Shirt Bob... if I was in the right mind. Which I wasn't. Let's forget about it, shall we? Now what kind of crepes would you like?"

With a sigh, Remus walked to the counter and kissed Hermione's cheek tenderly. "Whatever you want, Hermione. I'll go see if Sabrina is hungry."

Only ten minutes later, Sabrina was sitting at the dining table with Remus, looking very sleepy and very embarrassed. Her blonde hair was cropped short into a cute little pixie-style and she had nice brown eyes with tan skin. And despite Remus's pro-flat chests speech, she had nice, large breasts. But at least she was nice, asking how Hermione was and about her work and things.

Remus looked tired still, but listened to everything Sabrina was saying, acting more like a close friend, rather than blowing her off like most one-night stands went.

They all jumped a little when they hard a large bang from down the hall, followed by a loud yell. Not a painful or angry yell... an intimate yell.

"SILENCING CHARMS!" Remus said, getting up and banging on Sirius's wall forcefully. "WE'RE TRYING TO EAT, FOR MERLIN'S SAKE."

"SOD OFF!" was Sirius's reply, followed with a feminine giggle. But shortly after that, the noises were muted and Remus looked eternally grateful.

Shaking his head, Remus grumbled, "He's insatiable."

Sabrina giggled lightly. With a smirk and a coy look in her eyes, she said, "You're one to talk." Under the table, Hermione saw her run her toe up his ankle and Remus grinned wolfishly.

"Oh, boy," Hermione said quietly to herself. Love was in the air and her flat was slowly becoming a love hotel. "Crepe, anyone?" She flipped them onto their plates before they could answer and put on more coffee and a kettle for tea.

A few minutes later, out from the bedroom came Sirius and his... whatever she was.

And Hermione's eyes almost bugged out of her head.

The woman was long and a golden tan, with long, sleek dark brown hair and exotic light green eyes. She was... well, she was perfect. Hour-glass figure, face of a goddess, and looking what James would call "thoroughly shagged".

Hermione had to stop herself from banging her forehead against a wall. Instead, she poured more batter onto the pan and tried not to look her right in those piercing eyes pale green eyes.

"Everyone, this is Lynne. Lynne, this is everyone," Sirius said, gesturing lazily. He didn't look very hung-over at all, have a sort of energy to him - which, for Sirius Black, never happened to him. Sex was like a vitamin for him.

Hermione felt a hand rest gently on her back and Sirius said, "Smells delicious, Hermione." He kissed her temple and saw that she winced. With a small wince of his own, he whispered quietly, just so that she could hear, "I'm sorry", and kissed her right next to her ear.

Hermione nodded, accepting the apology, and mourned the loss of his hand when he walked away and escorted the wordless, very serious-looking Lynne to the door. She had the haughty look on her face that Hermione associated with Pansy Parkinson and Narcissa Malfoy.

Once she was gone and Sirius was back in the kitchen, Remus said, "She seemed genuinely warmhearted, Sirius."

"Shut up, Moony," Sirius said off-handedly, sitting down next to him. "And who might this lovely young lady be?"

Remus introduced Sirius to Sabrina, they shook hands, and Sirius said, "How did the date go with Mr. Boring last night? Did he sneak out before I got up? After all, you know what they say about the third date." Sirius made an impolite hand gesture that made Hermione blanch and Sabrina chuckle.

"If you'd stuck around, Pads, you would know that Hermione traded Owen for the pub last night," Remus informed him.

Brow furrowed, Sirius said, "Did he finally drive you mad with all his banking talk?"

"It is your fault!" Hermione snapped, shaking her spatula at him. "You got in my head, Sirius Black, and I couldn't even enjoy a quiet, lovely dinner with a nice man because of you and your nonstop talking." The anger pulsed in her chest, bust she squashed it down. She let the crepe cook a bit longer than it should have and then threw the burnt circle onto Sirius's plate.

It was finally hitting her. Last night, Owen had proved himself to be far too bland while simultaneously making it clear that he was planning to return to his own flat, alone, after the meal because of "morning errands", despite the reputation of third dates, as Sirius had said. Then, at the pub after hearing of Sirius's whereabouts with a sexy brunette, Blue Shirt Bob had turned her down. Was she in the right mind? Definitely not. She'd never dream of some faceless stranger take her virginity, but she'd wanted to feel wanted. Lily and James, blissfully in love, went home, making eyes at each other. Peter excused himself to go to Francine's. Remus had brought Sabrina home.

And in her drunken state, Hermione had stumbled into her very cold, very empty bed, and fell asleep alone.

God, that hurt more than it should have. It wasn't like she'd wanted sex, not really. She wanted... to be held, was all. Instead, the only breathing thing sharing her bed that night was Dandelion, who'd curled up at her feet.

"You always have opinions, about everyone," Hermione prattled on, pouring Sirius a mug of coffee, being clumsy with it on purpose and splashing him with the hot liquid. He hissed. "Always, 'Owen Hardy Boy is a goody-two-shoes' and 'That waiter looking down your blouse was a wanker, Hermione' and 'You're not actually going to Floo call that Muggle from the market, are you? He was a nonce'. Well, guess what, Sirius! Maybe I like nonces! Maybe I like it when guys take notice to me, even if it a glance down my shirt! Knock it off already!"

Sabrina looked over at Remus. "Is it always like this?"

"Women traipsing in and out of Sirius's room and Hermione yelling at breakfast? Yes, mostly," he said. "Although, I admit, she hasn't yelled in a while."

"I'm going to listen to the radio," Hermione said simply, no real heat to her words.

"Have you eaten?" Sirius asked.

"I've lost my appetite." She shrugged and fixed her tea.

"Sit down and eat, Hermione," Remus said. "If you're tired of cooking I can -"

"No, I'll just have a bagel," Hermione said, reaching into the bread box and then sitting down next to Sabrina. "I'm terribly sorry about that, Sabrina. I wasn't being a very good hostess by shouting."

"Oh, believe me," Sabrina said with a grin, "you are exceeding expectations already, and I probably would have shouted too. Normally it's a prompt 'goodbye and good luck' the morning after, but you've made me breakfast. And I appreciate that, Hermione." The smile was sincere and it made Hermione smile in response.

"Well..." Hermione said modestly, "I wasn't going to allow you to leave on an empty stomach."

The quartet had a pleasant breakfast after that. Sabrina was a sweet girl with a big heart, it seemed. Hermione's frustration faded, leaving behind a sort of hollowness that she had no right to. She and Sirius had talked about this when she first moved in - made an agreement. She had actually begged him to find girls, go out with them, shag them, whatever tickled his fancy. He'd put up resistance, but Hermione had told him that she wouldn't be able to live with him unless she knew he was moving on.

And so the Sirius Bedroom Parade began. And for every girl, she made them breakfast. The first girl was actually terrified that Hermione was trying to poison her with the massive spread of croissants, muffins, and waffles with all the trimmings. But Hermione was trying to show Sirius that it was okay, and making breakfast sort of became her thing. Remus and Sirius said she should open a bed-and-breakfast. She said that she was afraid her crepe pan would be reserved for Sirius's liaisons, then them alone.

When Sabrina left, Remus gave her a light kiss goodbye and smiled, watching her walk off. He looked a little love-struck - or, more accurately, lust-struck - and shut then shut the door slowly.

Hermione spent the rest of the day with Sirius and Remus. They watched movies, all squished on the couch, making a Hermione sandwich between them. Sirius eventually fell asleep on her shoulder, breathing on her neck, and Remus kept an arm around her.

These were her boys and she knew, deep down, that no matter what female walked through their bedroom doors, at the end of the day they'd always come back to her. She was grateful for it. It made her feel less alone.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Do you think we will see Lynne again? 3. Or Sabrina?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	35. A Birthday & An Apology

A/N. An amazing reviewer and friend recently dedicated a chapter to me! **rileypotter17** is the author of a very good AU story entitled The Lover! Go check it out!

In case you were wondering, Dragon's Breath IS a drink, and there's multiple kinds - but the only one that matters is the one that me and my friends came up with when we were 16 (we were troublemakers). It is exactly as I said in the last chapter, only instead of Firewhiskey, it's vodka and there's a splash of Sprite and apple juice and no dragon's scale (obviously). Its only slightly green. And it very well could kill you, so I really don't recommend it. It's really quite awful and could end in you or one of your friends streaking through the city. Or dying. PLEASE DO NOT DRINK IT. Try the cocktail, which is gin and cinammon schnapps I think...

Resa Fun Fact:

Growing up, my friends and I were a group of our own Marauders. I was Sirius *smiles*

...~oOo~...

Chapter Thirty-Five: A Birthday & An Apology

"It's your birthday and you're going to work?!"

"Sirius, believe it or not, most people go to work on their birthday."

"B-but... all you'll be doing is sorting catalogues and organizing in compliance with the Dewey Decimal System and doing boring library things. It's not very celebration-y."

"Celebratory."

"Whatever," Sirius huffed. "Remus, tell Hermione that she absolutely cannot go to work on her birthday."

Remus was halfway out the door on his way to his own job, mug of coffee in one hand, house keys in the other. "Sirius, Hermione wants to keep her job - she's not going to call out last minute just so you can have her to yourself all day."

"Anyway, it doesn't really feel like my birthday," Hermione said honestly, slipping her cardigan over the camisole. "And I especially don't feel twenty." _Because I'm really not_.

"But you have to want a party!" Sirius said, Dandelion tucked under his arm as he chased Hermione through the house while she got ready. "Look at our kitten, Hermione! She wants her mommy to stay home and play with her and Daddy!" Sirius held out the cat, practically shoving her in Hermione's face while holding her under her front legs.

The half-kneazle looked disdainfully at her, clearly communicating, _Please just do what he says so he puts me the hell down_.

"I'm going to work, Sirius, and that's all there is to it," Hermione said, tucking her wallet into her beaded purse. "And please, Sirius, do not have it that I come home to a party. I'm not in a partying mood. The best birthday present you could give me, Sirius in -"

"My virginity?"

"That boat sailed a long time ago if your number of nighttime visitors is any indication, so no. The best present is a quiet night with a film and some pasta with my two favorite boys," Hermione finished. She gave him a sincere look. "Really. Please don't overdo this. I promise I'll throw you the biggest party you like on your birthday, but just... leave this alone, alright?"

Sirius sighed. "Can James, Lily, and Peter come over?"

"Of course they can," Hermione said. "Just... no whiskey, no gifts, no balloons and banners. Are we clear?"

"Crystal," Sirius confirmed. She definitely didn't like how he complied so easily, but she didn't see anything distrustful in his expression.

"Thank you, Sirius."

"On one condition."

Hermione's lungs emptied and she wanted to smack her forehead. She really should have seen this coming. She had wrongly had more faith in the world and was no stuck. "And what is this condition?"

"You give me a kiss goodbye," she said with a sly smirk.

Tipping upward, she kissed his cheek.

"I meant on the mouth," he added.

"You didn't specify, so I'm off." Hermione pulled her hair back and began towards the door.

"Fine," he said calmly with a shrug, continuing to follow her. "I hope you like crepe paper and booze. Because there's going to be tons when you get home. And streamers. I might even order a clown and some strippers. How last-minute do you think you can order one of those plastic bounce-houses? Good thing I copied your address book while you were sleeping, this way I can Floo _everyone_ and -"

He was cut off by her mouth. Smashed into his. Hard. All lips and teeth. Not wasting a second, Sirius wrapped his arms around her waist and demanded entry to her tongue and he got it. After the initial surprise of the kiss, Sirius gained control and kissed her deeply and thoroughly.

When they disengaged, very slowly, Hermione blinked in bewilderment and said, "Uh..."

Sirius smirked. "It was a birthday kiss. Expect nineteen more."

"I'm pretty sure... that covered... twenty," Hermione murmured, leaning heavily against the wall, still a little fuzzy in the head. She was literally lightheaded.

"Do you still want to go to work?" he asked coyly, bringing his large hands to his her hips, giving her a light squeeze.

Hermione looked at her watch and uttered a small half-curse. That kiss had gone on much longer than she'd expected. Where she was running later before, she was definitely late now. "You did that on purpose," she accused.

"Please stay home with me," he said, leaning close. "This way we have all day alone to work out our problems, of which there are many. Because you keep telling me there are lot of unfixable problems and frankly I don't know what you're talking about. And this, my love, is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have a real, honest, unsilly - is that a word? - conversation with Sirius Black."

"No."

"No, you don't want to talk to me?" Sirius face deflated like an untied balloon.

"No, I mean 'no, unsilly is not a word'." Hermione sighed. "Get me some parchment and a quill, please. I apparently have to write my boss a letter."

...

Sirius and Hermione had been talking for a full two hours, where they made gallons of tea and drank it all - with many a bathroom break - and biscuits. They even ended up going for a walk and went to the park where Hermione played fetch with Padfoot.

They ended up at the same park they were at in the spring, only with the dawning autumn, a breeze rippled the lake and the grass was scattered with leaves, the trees quivering and only partially naked. There were less people there - children off at school and their parents at work.

They were sitting up against the trunk of the tree that both James and Sirius had fallen out of.

"Tell me a story," Sirius said, his long legs stretched outward, one of his hands curled into her hair, scratching lightly at her scalp.

"About what?"

"About France."

Hermione tried not to cringe. In her mind, she'd been using France as a secret codeword for Her Past, before the Time-Turner broke. She dug around her brain and came up with a good anecdote for him.

"Well, in France, I -"

"That's not how you're supposed to start a story," Sirius cut in. "It's supposed to start 'once upon a time'."

Hermione smirked and restarted. "Once upon a time, a very lonely little Muggle-born witch had no friends. She was too bookish and too bossy and no one liked her very much. But she worked hard - or at least, she thought she was working hard - to befriend a pair of silly boys. Just when she thought she was becoming friends with them, she overhead one of the boys saying some very... mean things to his other friends about her on Halloween. They were laughing at her and talking about her behind her back and so she ran to the girls' room and cried.

"She cried for hours, quite pathetically. Being a Muggle-born, she already felt the burden of being different and just wanted to go home. She was wondering whether or not she belonged there at all. She was clever, yes, but disliked and bullied, and was caught between sticking it out, showing them she wasn't weak, and writing her parents a letter and begging the, er, _Headmistress_ to let her go home.

"Little did she know, a troll had been let loose in the school. And the boys, the ones she wanted to be friends with her, went to warn her. Unfortunately enough, the troll wandered its way into the very bathroom she was hiding in. The boys, only First Years, very valiantly - and with quite a bit of terrified screaming - battled the troll and knocked it out with its own club.

"The Headmistress's deputy found them, troll on the ground, and was infuriated. But, instead of detention, she deducted points from the girl and rewarded them to the boys and let them be. From then on, the girl and the boys were best friends."

In a content, nostalgic silence, Hermione thought back to that day. The raw fear, the relief, the triumph. The smiles they gave each other once it was over. How that small battle created a bond between them that would sustain future struggles. The bond that made her miss them so sorely that it was hard to get out of bed some days.

"There was a troll in Beauxbaton's?" Sirius finally asked. "Bit rough for such a flighty school. Sounds more like a thing Hogwarts would have lurking about."

"Hmm," Hermione murmured as her only response.

"Was one of those boys your boyfriend from then?"

Hermione chuckled. "Sirius, he was never my boyfriend. You came up with that all on your own."

"Hrumph."

"Don't 'hrumph' at me, it's true. Now, are you ready to head back home?"

Sirius drew small circles with his thumb on the inside of her knee. "Hermione. I love you."

And it sounded like he meant it. Really meant it. His voice burned with honesty and resignation. Like the words came from deep inside him.

"And... I'm sorry for everything I've done," he added, looking at his toes. "I know I've said that a lot today, especially when we were drinking tea - but I mean it. I'm sorry. For being manipulative and insensitive and... well.. promiscuous. I'm sorry for every moment when you and I were together that I didn't tell you how much I loved you and for pretending like none of it mattered when, really, it was the only thing that mattered.

"You don't have any reason to believe me, I know. But I want to spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you that I'm telling the truth. When I thought you'd... been with someone while you were in France... it drove me mad. Made me sick. Because whoever it was, I felt, they had no right, because you were always mine in my mind. Which was wrong, too. Because you aren't a possession and I respect you more than that.

"But I belong to you, Hermione. Even if you laugh after I stop talking - which I won't blame you for doing, because this all feels quite silly, saying it out loud - I'll still belong to you." Sirius paused and took a deep breath, turning and looking in her eyes. "And so does this." The hand that wasn't on her knee came up from beside him, pinching between his fingers, a dandelion.

It was _their_ flower. And that did something to Hermione's knees, even though she was sitting.

Sirius tucked it behind Hermione's ear and wore a small smile. "Beautiful. You, not the flower - which is actually a weed, so I don't know why you always go so moony-eyed when I give you one," he teased lightly.

"You know what this means, don't you?"

"What?"

Hermione smiled. "I owe you a kiss."

...~oOo~...

"SURPRISE!"

Hermione screamed. Not the good scream they were expecting. A shrill, sort of what-the-fuck-is-happening scream. "YOU!" She spun around, pointing very forcefully at Sirius who was grinning like an idiot behind her in the doorway. "I TOLD YOU NO PARTY!"

Sirius laughed and shrugged. "I guess none of them got the cancellations in time."

Everyone in the room looked alarmed and amused, but were laughing and taking pictures of Hermione's cherry-red face. Feeling ridiculous, she turned back around to her guests. Everyone was there - the Marauders, Alice and Frank, the Prewett twins, and... everyone else in her address book. About twenty people. That was a lot of people for Hermione. Twenty too many, actually.

There were dancing streamers along the wall, a big banner with her name on it, balloons - everything she'd kissed Sirius to avoid. She should have known better. There were platters of pre-dinner snacks floating around on their own and - sure enough - a lot of alcohol. Too much alcohol.

Too much everything.

The only thought she kept thinking as she stared on like a deer in headlight was, _This is going to take forever to clean up. _

So awkward that she thought she was going to cry, Hermione waved at everyone and said, "Hullo."

"HULLO!" came the reply that almost blasted her backwards. They all laughed and the party resumed.

"Remember when I wanted to tell you I loved you back but said nothing instead?" Hermione hissed at Sirius. "I take that internal monologue back. I hate you."

"Aw, c'mon, 'Mione!" Sirius said, beaming. "Look at how happy everyone is to see you!"

Surely enough, Alice and Lily were coming at her like a pair of twin cannons, scooping her into a hug. They each had a wineglass in their hands and they seemed ready to have a good time. Unlike Hermione.

Hermione hated surprises. They always made her feel wildly unprepared and off-guard.

She was led to the kitchen for a drink where she found James manning the "bar", also known as her counter. "'Ello, 'Mione! Want a Dragon's Breath?" he sniggered with a wink.

"Never again, James," she said quickly. "I really just want water."

Everyone in the kitchen with her groaned loudly.

Remus walked in and smiled widely. "There's the birthday girl."

"You knew about this, didn't you?" she growled lowly at him.

Remus nodded. "I was in charge of making it seem authentic. I had to be the usual grouch towards Sirius."

"I am taking you all off my friends' list," Hermione said simply, getting some water from the tap since James was flat-out refusing. "I am very angry, and you best all watch out."

Alice laughed loudly. "But aren't you happy to see all of us!"

"Yes, I am, but a nice, planned dinner would have been preferable," Hermione groused. "This is insane, Sirius is insane, you're all insane. I wanted to read a book and go to bed."

Sirius pouted. "Ungrateful."

Hermione sighed and said, "I'm am touched, really. I'm just... overwhelmed." She gulped her water and took deep breaths. "Give me a minute and I'll start having fun."

She didn't even have sixty seconds before the Prewett twins swooped in and, battle crying, lifted her high up before she was ready and settling her on the shoulders.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU..." they said, running her out into the living area.

Hermione was screaming again and frantically ducking the doorways that they nearly smashed her into. She didn't like this. The Prewetts were too tall, she was too high up, it was almost exactly like riding a room or a Hippogriff and she didn't like it one bit -

And there was an unnaturally massive, bright blue cake on the coffee table, surrounded by twenty full shot glasses.

Everyone was surrounding it, singing in time with the Prewett twins. There were a lot of candles on the cake, all lit, and it made her worry that it would become an inferno and set her flat on fire. She did not like this mental image. It made her palms sweaty - but that might have been because her home was packed with people, making it rather warm.

But once the candles were blown out and she made a wish, she took a deep breath and prepared herself to have fun.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What kind of games should they play at Hermione's birthday? 3. What will happen between Hermione and Sirius now that the air has been cleared?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	36. Never

A/N. THE BABY IS HERE! I went into labor on the 30th and gave birth very early in the morning on the 31st! 2:35 in the morning, to be exact. I was in labor for an absolutely unreal 18 hours and it hurt... a lot. It's very weird to think back on now, especially since I don't really remember the extent of the pain.

My son was born an incredible 10 pounds and 6 ounces. He's VERY long and oh-so chubby. And when you all hear the name - DO NOT JUDGE ME.

Remus John. That's right - written on his birth certificate, Remus John Booker. A LOT of people were saying it was a mistake to name my child after a book character but I just fell in love with the name the moment I heard it AND if it makes you feel better, you can pretend he's named after one of the mythological founders of Rome.

This chapter was finished before I went to the hospital, but I just hadn't gotten the chance to post it (Christmas, labor, baby, you know).

I am actually uploading this from my phone on our way home from the hospital. Little Remus is asleep in his car seat and March is still grumbling about naming our son after a Harry Potter character.

As a side note: His middle name was going to be John no matter what his first name was - my grandfather's name was John.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Thirty-Six: Never

"Never have I ever..." Hermione mused, thinking the game totally ridiculous. But, alas, everyone wanted to play, so who was she to discourage them? "Smoked a cigarette," she finished, sending a very firm look at both Sirius and Remus. She lived with two smokers and it drove her crazy.

Sirius, Remus, Peter, and both Prewett twins took a drink.

"Filthy habit," Lily agreed, rubbing her husband's shoulder. "I am so grateful you never picked it up from your idiot friends."

"Living with those two is torture," Hermione said, rolling her eyes. "I tried hiding Sirius's cigarettes once, but he acted like a grumpy old man until I gave them back."

"Don't mess with a man's cigarettes," Sirius said with a shrug. "It's your turn now, Lily."

"Hmm..." the redhead mused, tapping her chin. Lily's eyes brightened and she said, "I have never kissed Sirius Black."

With a round of sighs from all the Marauders, the boys and Hermione took a drink.

Lily stared at her husband, Peter, and Remus curiously, one raised eyebrow.

"I don't want to talk about it," James said with a shudder.

"In Second Year," Remus said before Peter or James could stop him, "Sirius was determined to kiss all of us. He said it would be like a sealing of our friendship - frankly, I think he was just questioning his sexuality."

"And you just... let him?" Hermione said.

"No, of course not. We were dead against it. But he would catch us unawares or trap us under bewitched mistletoe. It was quite terrifying," Remus went on. "And, sure enough, he's kissed every one of us."

Sirius shrugged, unashamedly. "Don't lie and say you didn't like it."

"No, Sirius," James said sarcastically. "We absolutely loved looking over our shoulders for months and being forced upon. It was the time of our lives, developing paranoia and being attacked."

"What babies."

"This game is going to end badly, I can feel it," Hermione muttered.

"It's my turn, I think," Frank said, scratching his chin. "Er, I haven't done a lot of things. It's hard to pick one of them."

Alice kissed his cheek. "Oh, my terrible innocent husband, how I love thee."

Frank blushed. Yes, Frank was easily one of the most awkward among them, second only to a sober Hermione. When Hermione was drinking, however... well, let's just say she didn't blush _as_ easily.

"Just pick something randomly from your archive of Things Undone By You," Sirius pushed.

Frank hummed to himself thinking, and everyone watched on with anticipation.

Finally he opened his mouth and spoke. "Never have I ever... eaten pineapple..."

Everyone gaped at him.

"That's the best you could do?" James inquired, a risen eyebrow.

"Never mind the bloody lack of creativity," Sirius said incredulously. "You've never tried pineapple?!"

"That's terribly unfortunate," Remus agreed.

"Wait!" Hermione exclaimed and everyone looked to her. "Remus, remember when we went grocery shopping..."

Remus's eyes got big and excited, "And you wanted to bake that cake..."

"So we picked up -"

"We did! We did, indeed!"

"Everyone to the kitchen!" Hermione announced, standing straight up and practically jogging to the cabinets.

There was a confused murmur among the guests, but they all started following her. Sirius was glaring at Remus, asking, "Do you read each other's minds or something?"

"Frank, take a seat," she said, reaching on her tip-toes for a can from the top shelf.

Frank realized what she was doing. "Um, Hermione? Er... there's really no need..."

"We are solving this right now," Hermione said, slamming down the can of pineapple onto the counter and grabbing a can-opener from the drawer.

"I am perfectly content with never trying it, you know," Frank said.

"Well, I'm not," Hermione said simply. "It's delicious! I promise! It's Sirius's favorite fruit, as a matter of fact." She gently removed the sharp-edged lid from the can and took out a bowl. "Now, canned isn't nearly as good as fresh, but it will do for now."

Frank didn't look convinced that pineapple would be good in any form, but said nothing.

"And after this, we're making you a pina colada," Lily said with a giggle.

"Girl drink," James said, shaking his head.

"Alright, the big moment," Hermione said, placing the bowl in front of him with a fork. In the bowl were a stack of perfectly round, perfectly yellow rings. They looked like the circles that framed the sun on a particularly hot day. "Eat up, Frank."

Frank eyed the rings with a bit of uncertainty.

"Come on, baby, don't be shy," Alice encouraged, one hand resting loving on the back of his neck.

"Frank! Frank! Frank!" James began chanting.

The Marauders joined in, then the Prewett twins, and everyone else.

"FRANK! FRANK! FRANK!"

And so Frank took a bite of pineapple.

They all watched on intensely, waiting for a verdict. Frank took his time swallowing, a weird look on his face.

"It's... really sweet," Frank said, unsure. "And it is good, but... is my mouth supposed to be burning right now?"

"Huh?" Sirius said, eyes wide.

"Open up, sweetheart," Alice said.

Frank did as she said and Alice gasped.

"I think... Frank is having an allergic reaction," Alice said nervously. Then she looked again. "Yep, he is. Hermione, mind if we use your Floo? We should get him to St. Mungo's."

"OH SHIT!" James and Sirius shouted in unison, eyes bugging.

Panic ensued. Frank was freaking out, Alice was remaining calm enough for both of them, James and Sirius were shouting at each other unintelligibly - for what reason, Hermione couldn't tell - and everyone made way, pushing Frank towards the fireplace. Alice and Frank disappeared through it.

"Oh, my God!" Hermione said, hands over her mouth. "I... I..."

"YOU ALMOST KILLED LONGBOTTOM!" James shouted, pointing at Hermione.

"Actually, she might still kill him," Sirius pointed. "After all, we have no clue if they'll administer a potion in time."

Hermione groaned, dragging her hands down her face. "This is terrible, absolutely terrible."

Everyone in the room nodded in agreement.

"Do you think, if he dies, you'll get sent to Azkaban for something like this?" James asked, curiously. "I mean, technically you poisoned him - not intentionally, but -"

"They call in involuntary manslaughter," Remus added.

Peter asked with a dumb, drunk expression, "Is there such thing as _voluntary_ manslaughter?"

"Yeah, it's called First Degree Murder," Remus told him.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Lily screeched. "We're all drunk and a little stupid right now and freaking out because Hermione may or may not have killed Frank, but what we have to do is go to St. Mungo's and see how Frank is doing! Alright?!"

Everyone nodded and everyone went through the Floo one by one until Sirius and Hermione were the last to go through. Sirius took a handful, ducked into the fireplace and looked her with a smirk, shaking his head.

"I can't believe you killed Frank," he said.

"Shut up, Sirius."

...

Frank was fine. It was all very much routine and painless. They gave him a potion that negated his reaction and had him feeling back to normal in seconds. He looked perky and optimistic when he emerged from the room to find Hermione's entire birthday party guest list waiting for him.

"Hey, everyone!" he said with a smile.

"How do you feel now that Hermione almost killed you?" James asked.

"FOR THE LAST TIME, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"

"Shut it, Hermione."

"I feel great," Frank said with a shrug. "All is well. And it's okay, Hermione. I actually really liked the pineapple... shame that I can't eat it, really." He gave Hermione a tight hug. "Don't frown! It's your birthday!"

"I would be frowning too if I almost took Frank's life," James said with a mockingly somber expression.

"I DID NOT ALMOST KILL FRANK."

"Well, actually you did," Lily said. "If we hadn't rushed him to the hospital, his tongue would have kept swelling until it blocked his airways and choked him to death."

"Death by tongue," Sirius said severely.

Alice smacked her forehead. "Guys! It's not that dangerous of an allergy. The Healers said his mouth would have broken into hives and burned, but he wouldn't have died."

Everyone moaned in disappointment.

"Oi!" Frank snapped at them, causing a thunder of laughs from the group.

Hermione decided it was the weirdest birthday of her life.

...~oOo~...

Hermione was swiping all the abandoned bottles and cups into a garbage bag early in the morning. Everyone went home after one more drink with Frank - "the survivor", they called him - and wished Hermione one last happy birthday. All their cards and gifts sat waiting on the counter in the kitchen, but she was focused on getting their flat clean.

"Hermione, go to bed," Remus said, leaning against the wall. "I'll clean it up in the morning."

Shaking her head, with a small smile, "It's okay, Remus. I want to. Think of it as penance for nearly killing one of our closest friends."

Remus chuckled. "Only if you're sure."

She nodded. "I can't sleep yet, anyway. Not tired. Go get some shut-eye, you look dead on your feet."

Remus tucked his arms around her waist and landed a big kiss on her cheek. She chuckled when his whiskers tickled her and he took a deep breath, blowing a raspberry into her cheek, making her giggle harder and louder.

"Happy Birthday," Remus said one last time. "Don't stay up too late." And he sauntered back towards his room.

A few minutes later, Hermione had two garbage bags full, but did not have the energy to take them downstairs, so she set them by the door, making a silent promise to take care of them in the morning, along with a vow to vacuum.

When Hermione walked into her room, the tiredness finally settling in her bones, she stopped short at the sight of the lump on her bed. A sleeping Sirius was grumbling and breathing heavily in the land of dreams.

With her eyebrows in her hairline, Hermione kneeled on the piece of mattress that Sirius wasn't spread across - it wasn't much, I assure you - and began poking him. "Sirius," she whispered, leaning close and brushed back his hair, hoping to wake him gently. He was one of those people who just could not be woken up gently, all head jerking and shocked yelling.

But with soft hands and a soothing voice, Sirius was slowly pulled from his slumber. His eyes opened and looked around, taking in his surroundings as he came back to earth and said, "Oh... 'ello, 'Ermione," he mumbled. "Thought I was being woken by an angel," he added with a cheeky grin.

Hermione smirked. "What are you doing in here? Don't you have a bed of your own?"

"Mmm... seducing you... can't you tell?" he murmured, rolling onto his side, facing her, and clutching a pillow to his chest.

"Oh, are you?" Hermione inquired, unable to hide her amusement.

"Mhmm... irresistible, aren't I?"

"I can hardly contain my hormones. I'm swooning left and right," Hermione said, trying not to chuckle. She was looking down at him with unfiltered adoration, a smile curling her mouth, and a light in her eyes. "I just might faint."

"Can't do that... if you do..." His words fell off and Hermione waited for an ending to the sentence, but none came. The only thing that came from his lips for the rest of the night was rhythmic breathing.

Lying on her hip on the bit of mattress his long frame spared for her, Hermione closed her eyes and joined Sirius in her dreams.

...~oOo~...

A/N. In case you're wondering, yes. That IS how I found out I was allergic to pineapple. It wasn't a drinking game of Never Have I, but it was about the same.

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What will happen next between Hermione and Sirius? 3. Do you think I'm insane for naming my son Remus? If you do, it's okay, I understand *smiles*

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	37. About Time

A/N. You are all such great readers and friends! Thank you for all of your congratulations and such and, as always, your support! It means the world to me!

I've stolen this hour of silence to write! Huzzah! Rem is sleeping in his crib, and I'm actually in the rocking chair next to him with my laptop. Super Mom Moment.

Some of you asked how I managed to get my FOMB to agree with the name Remus. And it was by no feat of will. We played cards for it. Juvenile, I know. We asked our neighbor to be the dealer, had our friends over (who had their own ideas for names) and we played Blackjack. We are young parents, what can I say? And I am very good at cards... being able to count them has nothing to do with it *winks*

While I was writing this chapter, I listened to All This And Heaven Too by Florence + the Machine.

Little Warning: A little sexiness happens this chapter. If you don't like it, you really shouldn't be reading a rated M fic, now should you?

...~oOo~...

Chapter Thirty-Seven: About Time

When Sirius woke up, he was feeling cranky and had an ache in his head and was far too warm, uncomfortably so. With his eyes still closed, he tried pulling down his blanket to no avail. As a matter of fact, his blanket told him to piss off.

That wasn't right, he realized three beats later. Wrenching his eyes open, he found Hermione practically on top of him, her hair wrapped dangerously around his neck, like tentacles trying to strangle him.

Sirius was practically sweating, and not the normal sweating that came with being skin-to-skin with Hermione. He was just too hot to be so close to another human being.

"Hermione," he whispered groggily, trying to roll and maybe dislodge her, but was unsuccessful. She was latched on tight to him like a leech. "Hermione, you're too hot..."

"Grhahuffdj," was her only response.

"No need to be so testy," he grumbled. "Who knew you had a mouth like a sailor?"

"Furghljsjkf."

"Now you're just being unreasonable. Off with you."

"My bed," she finally said, spitting the hair that'd been caught in her mouth.

"I'll happily return it to you if you get off."

"Nuu," she said, he face smacking down onto his chest. "'Our more."

"In an hour, I'll die of dehydration. Seriously, Hermione, you're like a sauna."

"Gurgh. 'Mm cold."

This was going to take a lot more than flailing and grumbling, apparently. Sirius, reached around her, arms around her back, and to Sirius's surprise, she made a little purring sound when he did. He smirked. Pulling her up higher on his chest, he brought her throat up to his mouth level and began sleepily kissing her there, hoping to get some kind of reaction - a smack, a jump, or at least to wake her up.

Instead, she murmured softly and threaded her fingers through his hair - not to yank him away, but to massage his scalp lightly.

This was turning out better than he expected.

There was something about waking up with someone next to him that Sirius found weirdly sensual. Morning sex was his favorite kind of sex, actually. Maybe it was because every touch, kiss, and feeling was so raw and fresh, like the sunrise. Hermione's skin tasted better than ever - better than anyone's - right then. His head was practically tingling with her touch. She was so soft and warm and her quiet pants her music to his ears. She even smelled amazing.

"Sirius," she said quietly while his mouth climbed to her ear. His teeth nipped the lobe and Hermione gasped, earning a deep, throaty chuckle from Sirius. "Are you... I'm... _ack_."

"'Ack', indeed, kitten," he responded, his voice raspy with sleep. "Think of this as your belated birthday present from me."

"Seems like... mmm... more of a gift for you..."

"Baby, Dandelion doesn't purr as much as you are right now," he told her. "You are definitely enjoying this. Relax." With one hand cupping her hip, he rolled them so that he was over Hermione, Sirius's mouth never leaving her skin.

_Why not_... the sleepy, hormone-addled side of her brain was whispering. The rational part of her brain was still slumbering and probably wouldn't rouse until Hermione got what she was hungering for. She would worry about logic and consequences once Sirius had his wicked way with her, she thought with a smirk.

When their lips met, Hermione's heart started twirling like a top, making her head dizzy and her head cloudy. Sirius's hands were reaching below her waist, working down the knickers she'd been sleeping in.

But then... she felt a strong tension between her eyes. And in her nose. Realizing was was happening, Hermione yanked away and sneezed... right into Sirius's face.

Embarrassed and congested, Hermione covered her mouth with her hand. Sirius's face scrunched distastefully.

"Can't say that's ever happened before," Sirius said, theatrically wiping snot off his face.

Hermione groaned, her cheeks aflame. "I'm so sorry... ugh."

"It's alright," he said. "A little gross, but no damage done." As a matter of fact, Sirius smirked. "Do you sneeze every time a guy puts his hands down your pants?"

"Wouldn't know," she sniffled, feeling another sneeze coming on.

With a curious expression, Sirius leaned down and touched his mouth to her head. It wasn't a kiss, really, but he paused a moment.

"Merlin, Hermione, you're burning up," Sirius said with surprise.

"Really?" she said, eyebrows furrowed.

"Are you feeling faint or unwell?"

"Well, I was feeling dizzy, but I thought that was just a romantic delusion."

"Hate to report it, but you're sick, baby."

Hermione moaned, sitting up slowly. A weight was sitting on her forehead. "I don't want to be sick," she told him. "I don't get sick. It's probably just one of those pesky day-colds. I'll have some toast, some tea, and I'll be right as rain."

Sirius put his large hand to her face and pushed her back down. "You're not moving. You've got quite a fever. Stay here, I'll get Remus to brew something. Don't give me that bratty look, this is to help you."

"But, but..." Hermione groaned again. "I didn't want to stop!"

"Neither did I -"

"No! I want you back on top of me, Sirius Black," she commanded, reaching up and gripping his collar, tugging him back to her. "Kiss me."

"Last time I did, I got Hermione Snot in my mouth."

"Like you care."

"Not really, but you shouldn't be over-exerting yourself if you want to get better."

"I don't _want_ to get better,_ I want_ _you_."

"You're making it very difficult for me to say no, darling," Sirius said with a frown. "For all I know, the fever is making you hallucinate. Now, I'm not beyond making love to a Hermione With The Flu, but I have to say I'm not sure about a Hallucinating Hermione. Different levels of crazy."

On a whim, Hermione took the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. Sirius's eyes got huge, staring down at her pale, heaving breasts and the smooth curve of her ribs to her waist and hips and the adorable belly-button, winking up at him, begging to be kissed.

"Christ," he muttered. Her breasts were better than he imagined. Deliciously round, perky - small, yes, but they looked like perfect little handfuls. Her nipples were a rosy pink sitting on top like cherries on scoops of ice cream. Her left breast had a single little freckle.

How was he supposed to say no? Why should he say no? Praying that the fever hadn't gone to her brain, he was drawn downward by a force bigger than him to take that rosy peak between his lips. Hermione's body jerked with the new sensation, but did not push him away.

_Oh, that's interesting_, Hermione thought faintly. And then came the tingling. _Oh, boy, better than 'interesting'_... She shivered delightedly.

When his mouth left her body, Sirius smiled at the indignant huff she gave.

Sirius's fingers were hooked in her panties as he inched down her body, wanting to catalogue what each piece of her tasted like for later. When he finally got to taste her belly-button, Hermione let out a high-pitched gasp. She was so pleasantly responsive, it made Sirius tense with restraint... but he had to move slowly or else she'd get scared and he never wanted her to be scared around him.

When he finally removed her knickers, the rush of cold made Hermione wiggle with discomfort, but Sirius was more than happy to warm her up. Sirius took a moment to breathe on his hands, rubbing them together to gain warm friction before laying his palms on her again.

Closing her eyes, Hermione took a deep breath and released the tension from her body. She wanted this. She wanted Sirius. She wanted him everywhere - touching her, loving her, in her. It was a want that bordered on need and clawed at her heart. Every sensation was new, and strange, and made her stomach squiggle, but she trusted Sirius.

And when it was time, Hermione squeezed her eyes, shut bracing herself for the pain that so many girls preached about in the dorms at Hogwarts.

Sirius whispered, "Relax, Hermione, please." He kissed her eyelids and her scrunched brow. She took a breath and he murmured, "Good... just keep breathing..." And slowly, he pressed into her.

And there it was. The pang of pain, a sort of burning sensation. She hissed in pain, but said nothing, just waited for it to fade. She hadn't noticed the tear fall down her cheek until Sirius kissed it away.

"Shh," he murmured soothingly. "I'm sorry, kitten," he said, with a soft urgency. "I'm sorry. I wish I could take it away." He gathered her against his chest and rubbed her back, making circles with his thumbs.

"I'm okay," she promised. She took another breath and nodded again.

"We could stop -"

"No," she said firmly. "It'll never get better unless we keep going. Move."

"Are you sure?"

Hermione nodded, holding onto his shoulder, and buried her face in his neck. Quietly, she confessed, "I love you."

Overwhelmed by... relief, joy, fear... Sirius kissed Hermione gently, a soft touching of lips, before answering, "I love you too."

...~oOo~...

Hermione and Sirius didn't leave bed for a long time. It was a mixture of exhaustion, thirst for alone time, and contentment. Her back was aligned with his chest, his big hand massaging her lower stomach with a light pressure. They talked nonstop, asking and answering questions. Making jokes. Kissing.

It wasn't until noontime that Remus knocked on her door. "Hermione! I was wondering if you've seen Sirius? He's not in his room."

In a falsetto, Sirius called out in a poor imitation of his girlfriend, "I'm afraid Sirius is occupied at the moment, ravishing me to within an inch of my life!"

Hermione whacked him in the chest.

They heard Remus laugh, and his retreating footsteps as he said loudly, "About time!"

"You're an idiot," Hermione said, her voice congested.

"But I'm your idiot, so it's okay."

Hermione sneezed in response.

"Yuck," Sirius said. "At least it wasn't in my face this time."

Hermione rolled herself so that she faced his chest and obnoxiously used his arm as a tissue.

Sirius grimaced. "Lovely. Thank you."

Hermione sniffed. "'Welcome."

"You're a pip when your sick. Or maybe this is your own weird, demented version of post-coital glow. Though, I admit the only thing glowing is your nose - bright red, that is. Like Rudolph."

"I want tea," she mumbled.

"Then make some."

"You make me some. Nurse me back to health," she said, nuzzling his neck. "It's the least you can do."

"Excuse me? The least _I _can do? Thanks to you, I'll probably wake up tomorrow with a sinus infection," he said with mock-indiginance. "You're the one who seduced me when you're ill. You're lucky I find you sexy when you're pasty and congested."

Hermione wiggled and moaned, "_Please_, Sirius... _Teeeeeeeea_."

"So now that you've gotten my body like you wanted, you suddenly want to get better?Ask Remus."

"You're not a very good boyfriend, you know."

"You _sneezed_ in my _mouth_. Hardly Girlfriend of the Year worthy, yourself."

...

It was almost exactly a day later when Remus showed up at the Potters, seeking sanctuary.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked when she saw the troubled expression on Remus's face. She was putting on tea and placed a plate of cookies in front of him.

"Well... it seems Hermione had a cold... and she, thinking it was a marvelous idea, went on and had a go with Sirius anyway. Sirius woke up this morning, also with a cold, and you know how he is when he's sick. But the two of them are like magnets." Remus's nose scrunched. "I walked in on them snogging on the couch, but you know how when you're sick you're all... snotty and saliva-y? And you have to breathe through your mouth? They were making all these really loud, wet noises and -"

"STOP," Lily said, holding up a hand, face screwed up in disgust. She was shaking her head. "You can end the story right there. That's gross. Stay as long as you like."

Remus shuddered. "It's not enough that they're both all feverish and nasally, but they had to infect the sofa too. The sofa. I read on that sofa, you know! Not anymore, though. Now its soaked with Sirius Germs and Hermione Spit."

Lily gagged. "I said I heard enough, didn't I?"

"And I saw him lick her nose too -"

"REMUS, I WILL BEAT YOU."

James sauntered in. "Why are we beating Moony?"

Lily contemplated this for a moment. "Actually, on second thought, Remus - I think you should describe to James, in great detail, what happened to your sofa."

With a mischievous smirk, Remus was happy to comply.

By the end of it, James was looking distinctly green. All he had to say: "Ew."

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite Part and Line? 2. I'm not so sure about the sex scene. How did you feel about it? (I'll probably go back and edit it in the future). 3. Poor Remus.

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	38. Notes

A/N. I'm trying to write as much at once so I can update regularly, so I've taken to staying up late and getting up early, which has actually helped with adjusting to sleep deprivation, haha!

Remus's numbers 8 & 9 are a tribute to my own roommate, the bastard. You'll see what I mean.

Confession: I once sneezed in someone's mouth when we were kissing. I laughed. They weren't so thrilled.

I'm sorry if in that last chapter the sex scene was hard to follow. Obviously, I do not write out every messy detail and try to express a lot of the feelings the characters are having emotionally, rather than physically sometimes, and feel that most of the physical stuff is self-explanatory and can be left to the imagination. Plus, I have the restrictions of the website to follow.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Notes

_Ten Things Sirius Loves About Hermione:_

_1. Her face. It's a nice face. _

_2. Her body. It's a really nice body. _

_3. Her voice when she's yelling at me. It's damn sexy. _

_4. Her ability to perfectly toast a bagel (Remus ALWAYS burns it and skimps on the butter, cheap werewolf)._

_5. The fact her big-toe and her first-toe are webbed. It's like dating a mermaid. _

_6. That thing she does with her mouth that Remus says I'm not allowed to talk about at dinner or at any time that he might be in the flat, for that matter._

_7. Her one freckle in a spot that Remus has also forbidden me to speak about. _

_8. How she balls socks perfectly, so that the toes match up exactly and aren't lopsided at all. _

_9. Her laugh. _

_10. The fact that she loves me too. Despite the fact that I talk very loudly about her Freckle That Shall Not Be Named. _

...~oOo~...

_Ten Things Remus Dislikes About Sirius:_

_1. His face. _

_2. His body. _

_3. His innate inability to shut his damn mouth. _

_4. The fact that his hair clogs the shower drain more than Hermione's does. _

_5. He takes an unusually long amount of time in the bathroom in the morning, even when Hermione is not in there with him. _

_6. The unerring innuendo that he'd like to initiate me into his and Hermione's relationship because he thinks polyamory is "super cool". _

_7. How much butter he puts on his bagel. Honestly, it's like he's asking for a heart-attack at nineteen. _

_8. How my cigarettes seem to mysteriously disappear right after he leaves for work. Buy your own fucking cigarettes, Sirius, I mean it. _

_9. He's a lighter stealer. I just know it. _

_10. The disturbingly intimate notes he puts on the fridge in the morning when all I want to do is get my coffee. _

...~oOo~...

_Ten Things Hermione Thinks The Boys Should STOP Doing:_

_1. Posting notes of "Ten Things" on the fridge. _

_2. Leaving up the toilet seat. _

_3. Using her bed as a napping bed. (Note: That means you too, Remus. Don't you both have beds of your own?)_

_4. Fighting over what to watch on the telly. It's my telly. And my films. I will decide. _

_5. Smoking. _

_6. Fighting about smoking. It's ridiculous. What does it matter who's cigarettes they are - it's going to kill you anyway. And it's a nasty habit. _

_7. Getting hair on the sofa. (Note: This one is just for Sirius. Padfoot cannot lie on the couch. It's unsanitary.)_

_8. Feed Dandelion anything that isn't cat food or milk. _

_9. Think that Dandelion passing gas is hilarious, because it's not. _

_10. Not locking the bathroom door when in the shower. I have seen you both naked and singing more times than I can count. No, Sirius, it's not sexy. Not when you're using my loofa as a "microphone". (Note: ALSO STOP USING MY LOOFA.)_

...~oOo~...

_Kitten,_

_Roses Are Red, _

_Violets Are Blue,_

_I Will Nap In Your Bed,_

_If I Damn Well Want Too._

_Love,_

_S_

[ The above note earned Sirius a swift kick to the back of his knees. ]

...~oOo~...

_Baby Girl,_

_Three months ago today was your birthday AND the first time we (cough, cough) DID IT. Also three months since what Remus will forever call The Great Cold of '79, or The Day He Saw Hermione Bogie And Sirius Saliva Mixed Up And Almost Vomited. _

_I wrote you a song, but then Remus heard me singing it in the shower and convinced me to scrap it. Said something like the words "wiggle" and "conjugal" weren't romantic and didn't rhyme. Whatever. _

_Please tell him that "radio station" and "copulation" DO rhyme. _

_I had to go to get some errands done early this morning, but I assure you I will think about you at exactly 8:17, the exact time you always wake up on weekends. Don't know why, you're body must really run on a tight schedule. _

_Remus said James and Lily wanted us over for dinner tonight, to which I was like, "NOOOO, I have plans for my beautiful girlfriend and I, of course, because it's our anniversary and I did NOT forget about it until Remus told me this morning when he was making coffee and I made reservations that were NOT last-minute - because I made them, like a week ago, because I didn't forget our anniversary!" But they practically twisted my arm. And our reservations may or may not have fallen through. The restaurant industry these days - so unreliable. _

_So this "Good Morning" note ended up being way longer than I expected. So, um, yeah. Good morning, beautiful. Here's a rose that I did NOT pluck from Mrs. King's window box next door this morning. _

_With Lots Of Love & Morning Kisses Filled With Nasty Morning Breath, _

_Sirius _

...

Shaking her head, Hermione laughed at the lengthy note left on her pillow with a rose that definitely belonged to Mrs. King. She frankly did not want to know anything about the song that Sirius wrote and was grateful for Remus being in her life to prevent her boyfriend from doing ridiculous things like song about their love life and... radio stations. She tried not to over-think that detail, because doing so would make her curious, and you know what you say. Curiosity killed the cat.

She found Remus on their balcony in the living room with a cigarette and what was probably his third cup of coffee. She joined him in her pajamas and gave him a drowsy smile.

"You're my angel in flannel, did you know that?" she said.

Remus, smirking, nodded. "Sirius is many things, but not a poet. How did you know?"

She held up the note. "He has a tendency to ramble. I wonder if he has ADHD."

"Plausible."

"He once made a grocery list that more resembled a novel."

They shared a laugh and Hermione took a sip of his coffee. "So do you know why Lily and James want us over for dinner?"

"No clue," he said. "James sounded excited though. I'm thinking they have news. I'm betting on new house."

Then it hit Hermione hard. She did the math and beamed. "Are you sure about that?"

"I think it's definitely possible."

"Mind if I get in on that wager?"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "You've never struck me as the gambling type."

"I'm not, but I think I have a fair guess."

"Oh, yeah? And what's that?"

"I think Lily's pregnant."

Coffee spewed from Remus's mouth and fell like rain over the balcony railing. "What? Did Lily say anything?"

"Just a guess," Hermione said with a shrug.

"I don't like the smug look you have. It makes me nervous. Are you hustling me? Is Lily really pregnant?" he asked, eyes wide.

"I told you, it's just a guess!"

"Your guesses are just too good sometimes, Hermione," Remus said, shaking his head and flicking the ash from his cigarette. "Just... uncanny. If you're right tonight, it will only confirm that you must be a Seer." He took a long drag and explained, "You knew about the Map, and about the Cloak, and my lycanthropy, and the Animagi abilities. I wonder if any of us have secrets anymore."

With a smirk, Hermione said, "You might. I wouldn't know, of course. Because they're secrets." She paused. "Remus, do you know what kind of errands Sirius is running this morning?"

"He's probably sloppily putting together romantic gifts so that he can pretend that he didn't forget today is your three months."

Hermione laughed. "I don't know why he's worried. It's only three months. Hardly a monumental occasion. We were together twice as long in school."

Remus shrugged. "I think he's worried that if he fucks up he'll lose you again."

"Well, do me a favor. Let him know that I'm not going anywhere. Oh, and tell him to stop stealing flowers from our neighbors."

...~oOo~...

When Sirius came home, Hermione was just getting out of the shower. She was walking to her room with a towel wrapped around her body and one wrapped in her hair.

Sirius was wearing a big smile and carrying a large bouquet of red and white roses. It was beautiful.

"My God, Sirius," Hermione said with big eyes.

He hummed as he kissed her. "Hello, my love. These are for you."

With wide eyes, Hermione accepted the flowers and smelt them. Their rosy perfume made her smile. "Thank you, Sirius. They're incredible. But why red and white?" she asked curiously.

"They didn't have gold roses," he said with a shrug.

Laughing, Hermione shook her head. He would always be a proud Gryffindor.

"I think I can fix that," she said, walking to her room. She took her wand and tapped the roses, and the petals of the white flowers turned into a brilliant gold.

Sirius beamed. "Now they're perfect. Like you."

"Oh, you spoil me," Hermione said with a chuckle. "Now, I have to get dressed."

He hopped onto her bed and cross his legs and his arms behind his head. "I can watch."

Hermione gave him The Look.

"What?" he said innocently. "Nothing I haven't seen before."

"That doesn't mean I want you staring while I try to find an outfit for the day."

"I'll help with that," he said, walking to her dresser. He first chose his favorite matching bra and panty set, a red and black plaid pattern going on. And then in her closet he yanked out a knee-length black skirt and light blue cardigan with a v-neck. "Here," he said, holding up the ensemble proudly.

"It's not bad," Hermione admitted. "But I intended on picking trousers."

Sirius pouted. "I like the skirt."

"And I like denim. I'll wear the cardigan though." She took back the skirt, hanging it in her closet, and traded it for dark jeans.

Then, very abruptly, Sirius tore away her towel and Hermione let out a squeal with the rush of cold. Hugging herself, Hermione snapped, "Sirius!"

"Yes?"

"Some warning, please!"

Laughing, Sirius reached out to the towel in her hair and untwisted it until it fell to the floor. He smiled, raking his fingers gently through her damp, limp curls. Her hair was already starting to frizz near her temples and forehead.

"You smell like strawberries," he said, nuzzling his nose into her hair.

"I do use strawberry shampoo, you know," she said, smirking.

"I could eat you up," he growled playfully, his hands sliding down her arms.

Hermione laughed. "Maybe later. I have things I need to do today, Sirius."

"And I'm one of them." He wagged his eyebrows. "Come on, kitten. Remus just left - we have the whole flat to ourselves for at least three hours. Let's have some fun." And he kissed her. Thoroughly. She began to tingle and a smile adorned her mouth.

Hermione's resolve drifted away.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Is Lily pregnant? 3. What's something that drives you crazy about the people you live with? Are they lighter thieves? Do they leave their socks everywhere?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	39. A Photo, a Smoke, and Two Babies

A/N. Life has been crazy. Remus is a little bundle of joy and gets bigger every day! It's weird how babies grow so fast... and a little disconcerting... lol. Now, back to Hermione and Sirius! Those two are so angsty and hot. If you like the pairing, go check our **onebigscribble**'s new fanfiction "Beyond".

A really good Hermione/Draco I read recently - very sexy and very funny - is called Tonight's The Night by **Severusgirl**. It's eleven chapters and very good. I've read it a few times since I found it.

Also - Yea, Though I Walk by **Aurette **was VERY entertaining as well. It's more serious, and extremely well written, and heart-breaking all at the same time. It is thirteen chapters and 52,178 words. Lengthy, but worth it. I cried a few times reading it.

Any good HP fanfiction you've read lately? Even if its your own stuff, let me know and I'll be happy to swing by your page, check it out, and perhaps promote it in an A/N.

This is chapter is going to be a series of "vignettes", to get the first war moving along. There are a few lapses of time, but it will be made fairly clear how much time has passed. The italicized print is a memory of a few months ago.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Thirty-Nine: A Photo, a Smoke, and Two Babies

"I'll take the picture," Hermione offered, accepting the camera. It was heavy in her hands, with a big trumpet shaped piece on the top.

"Thank you, Hermione," Dumbledore said, giving a secret wink.

"But, Hermione..." Sirius said with a pout. "You have to be in the picture with me."

"It's alright, Sirius," she said, touching his shoulder as the rest of the Order all formed into a messy set of lines, tallest in the back and shorter in the front. Hagrid almost knocked over one Dorcas Meadowes as he tried weaseling into a spot big enough for him, uttering, "'Scuse me, sorry..."

"I'm not what one would call photogenic, anyway," she assured Sirius.

"She'd probably break the camera anyway..." she heard Marlene McKinnon mutter nearby. She studiously ignored her.

"Now, you get get in there with your mates," Hermione said. "Front and center, like you always are."

Sirius hesitated, but nodded. He ducked to give Hermione a quick kiss and took his spot, almost at the very center of everyone. James and Lily stood nearby, Peter very close to James's coattails as always, and Remus tucked shyly in the back. She was tempted to call him forward, but knew it wouldn't do any good.

"Alright... everyone smile!" Hermione exclaimed, trying to sound enthusiastic. She pressed the button, there was a mighty flash, and their young faces were immortalized.

...~oOo~...

Lily cried all night. James had Floo'd Hermione, Sirius, and Remus's flat and they all immediately went to the Potters. Peter was already there, looking twitchy with bloodshot like he'd been crying. Hermione shot him a look of pure loathing that no one saw but him. It terrified him, that much was for sure.

Hermione wondered if giving Peter that telling look of disgust was a bad idea, but she didn't have time to worry about it. James and the boys all broke open the liquor cabinet.

"Where's Lily?" Hermione demanded, forcing herself not to tear Peter's throat out with her bare hands.

"Upstairs," James croaked, his own eyes glassy.

Hermione sprinted up the stairs, leaving her boys behind. Lily needed her then.

She knocked on the door.

"Go away, James! I told you, I'm fine!" a congested Lily shouted back, her voice raw. Lily was a strong woman and didn't want anyone to see her like this. Hermione knew that.

"It isn't James," Hermione said back, opening the door despite Lily's protests. Lily was curled up on the bed, on her side, her eyes rimmed with red and her face damp and sticky with tears.

"She's dead," Lily sobbed, her body shaking. "Marlene... she's dead..."

"I know," Hermione said, tears coming to her own eyes, nodding. "I know..." She crawled up onto her bed, kneeling.

Lily wiggled herself so that her cheek rested on Hermione's thigh. "She was my friend. I know y-you two never got along, but -"

"I know, Lily," Hermione whispered. "I would never wish her d... dead. I would do anything to get her back." Hermione winced at the lie and the shame weighed heavily in her chest. She'd known Marlene's family was going to be destroyed... but she was under oath not to tamper with the future.

Hermione stroked Lily's long, tangled auburn waves and began crying harder, holding Lily tighter, wondering if she had what it took to truly let Lily go...

...~oOo~...

"Where do you think we go?"

The window of their bedroom was open, letting in a cool draft of wind. Neither moved to close it. The night crickets chirped and tree leaves rustled.

"What do you mean?"

The bed springs squeaked as they moved closer for warmth. Their bare skin was comfort enough from the breeze.

"After we die?"

A bird, a nightingale maybe, began to sing.

"I've always liked the concept of heaven..." Hermione looked out at the stars as she said it and began absently humming a church hymn she remembered from Sundays with her parents.

"Yeah..." Sirius sighed, holding Hermione closer to his chest. "So do I."

Hermione held Sirius's hand tighter.

...~oOo~...

Hermione was lying on the Potters' couch, ear pressed to Lily's growing belly. She was finally popping enough to be noticeable. If Hermione closed her eyes and listened close, she could hear as well feel the movement of her future best friend. With one hand braced on the bump, Hermione closed her eyes and tried to send a mental message to the baby.

"Hermione... are you... crying?" Lily said, a smirk in her voice.

Opening her eyes, Hermione realized she was. The Lily's head was a big watery blur and Hermione laughed quietly at herself. She nodded. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"You're such a big softie, aren't you?" Lily said with a very maternal, cooing voice. She touched Hermione's head and patted her cheek. "Are you sure you're not pregnant too? Because you know hormones..."

"I'm not, trust me," Hermione chuckled.

"Well, maybe soon?" Lily said, her bright green eyes hopeful.

Hermione didn't have the strength to put a dent in Lily's glow. She smiled softly and said, "Maybe."

"Maybe what?" Sirius asked, walking in with a glass of bourbon. He squished his way onto the sofa, on the opposite side of Hermione from Lily. He put Hermione's legs in his lap and sat back.

"Maybe you and Hermione will join the baby parade?" Lily said, her eyes big as she considered it.

Sirius smirked thoughtfully as he sipped his drink. "Maybe."

"That's what Hermione said," Lily said. "And Maybe is only a few steps away from being 'yes'."

"Don't get too excited, Lils," Sirius said. "Hermione and I have only been together a few months, you know. No need to rush anything. Right, baby?" He tickled her ribs affectionately.

"Right," Hermione said quietly. With a sick feeling in her stomach, Hermione put her ear back to Lily's belly and closed her eyes once more.

...~oOo~...

_Hermione's birthday and cold were finally passing. Sirius was still sick and Remus was still avoiding the flat, what with their wet snogging full of sneezes and grossness, as he said. _

_But she took one more day off of work without telling the boys. They were both at their own jobs and she didn't know how to explain to them exactly where she was going. She took a train to the place she was born. _

_The lady at the desk said, "Who are you visiting?"_

_"Jean Granger," Hermione said. "She just had a baby."_

_"Oh, congratulations," the woman said with a friendly smile. She wrote out a tag with the room number on it. "Here's a pass, dear."_

_Thanking the secretary, Hermione manipulated the hospital from memory. She'd come here when she broke her arm when she was six and again when she needed stitches on her knee from falling out of the tree at ten. And then once more she'd visited the hospice floor when her grandfather was dying, the summer between First and Second._

_She only needed to use the signs once to figure out where she was. And the maternity ward was easy enough to find. _

_There was a plane of glass separating her from a row of almost a dozen babies. Squinting her eyes, she eyed the name tags. Sure enough, swaddled in pink, was the crib with the tag "Baby Granger". _

_It was an out-of-body experience, seeing herself as a baby. She'd seen pictures of herself before, of course, but this was different. It was possible for her to go in and actually hold her own baby hand. Something swelled and pulsed in her chest. _

_"Are any of them yours?" a voice behind her said. _

_Hermione spun around and almost gasped. A young, mustached version of her father stood there, unshaved with his hands stuffed in his pockets. He had a tired smile on his face, but a glow to his brown eyes. _

_"Er..." Hermione muttered. "Uh... no. I'm a... an aunt."_

_"Oh," Robert Granger said, grinning. "Well congratulations."_

_"And... you?" Hermione prompted. _

_With a smile, Robert stepped up to the glass next to her and pointed to the pink bundle of Baby Granger. "That little angel right there is my daughter."_

_"She's beautiful," Hermione said, hiding a small smile. _

_"Yes, she is," he said with a nod. "She's perfect."_

_Hermione's heart throbbed. She wanted nothing more than to hug her father with every last ounce of strength in her, but was holding back as hard as she could. _

_"What's her name?" Hermione asked, trying to remain casual._

_"The wife and I can't decide," Robert said with a laugh, shaking his head. "We've had months to figure this out, but now that she's here none of the names on our list seem... enough."_

_Hermione's eyebrows crinkled a little. Weird. Her parents never told her any story of a name debate._

_"I bought a book, but either the names are too plain or too weird, so I've been going about looking at nurses' nametags and things. Went to the store the other day and looked at every cashier's laniard," he admitted. "It's driving us crazy. Nothing fits her."_

_"Well... I'm sure you'll come up with something," Hermione hedged. The curiosity was overwhelming. The conversation with Sirius on the Quidditch pitch was brought forward in her mind. She'd never asked her parents how they'd come up with "Hermione" and she wondered now if she ever would. _

_Robert nodded. "We will. But no mundane name will ever be enough for my baby girl."_

_Hermione smiled at him. "Well, I wish you the best of luck. You'll be a fantastic father, I can tell."_

_"Thanks." He put out his hand. "Robert Granger."_

_"Hermione..." Hermione answered before she could say differently. She winced and shook his hand. How stupid of her! How could she have just -_

_"Hermione..." Robert mused, shaking her hand slowly, a smile crawling onto his face. "I think... I rather like that name, actually. How it is spelt?"_

_"H-E-R-M-I-O-N-E..." she replied, a weird twilight zone feeling squeezing her heart. _

_"Hermione Granger..." Robert whispered as Hermione turned away to make her escape. "Yes," he said quietly. "I do like that." _

...~oOo~...

Remus watched closely as Hermione dragged herself into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of tea. She added nothing to the cup - no cream, no sugar - and without a word to either of the boys at the table, retreated to her bedroom. And not Sirius's bedroom, which has slowly become "their bedroom". She went to her old room, closing the door behind her.

Sirius continued on reading the Daily Prophet.

Remus kicked him in the shin. "Sirius."

"Hmm?"

"There's something wrong with Hermione," Remus said, brow furrowed in concern.

Sirius looked up, alarmed. "What do you mean?"

"Haven't you looked at her lately?" Remus said, ripping the newspaper from his friend's hands and setting it aside. "She's lost weight, she has dark circles under her eyes, and I can't remember the last time she's eaten a proper meal."

"She says work has been stressing her out," Sirius said.

"She's a librarian, Sirius," Remus said bluntly. "What about sorting and cataloguing books could possibly be stressful enough to merit such a drop in weight."

Sirius looked bewildered. "I dunno, maybe the patrons have been noisy lately. I don't know everything about her work, Remus."

Remus rolled up the paper and whacked Sirius hard over the head with it. "Well, you should! You are her boyfriend. Have you noticed anything different about her behavior lately?"

Sitting back in the chair, tilting it on its back legs her considered this. "Well... she has been really tired lately. And we haven't had sex with a few days." He said this as if it was an epiphany, like it meant something monumental.

Remus rolled his eyes. "That's just the ending of the honeymoon phase, Sirius. Nothing too tragic."

"Tragic for me," Sirius mumbled.

"I mean, has she said anything or has she been moodier than usual?"

Sirius shrugged. "Well, yeah, but I assumed it's PMS. Which would also explain the no sex ad the sleepiness."

"Hmm... perhaps..." Remus mused. "I'm worried about her."

"Well, you're not allowed to be worried about her!" Sirius immediately refuted. "Only I am!"

"Too late," Remus said, lighting a cigarette. "You were an oblivious prat and now I'm worried. So get over it."

"Hmm..." Sirius said, his eyes narrowing. "It's seems we're at an impasse."

"No we're not," Remus said. "And you obviously don't know the proper meaning of 'impasse'."

...

At summer camp between fourth and fifth year, all the girls would sneak out of the cabins and go out by the lake to meet the boys and smoke. Hermione remembered Jackie Witherby stripping down to her knickers and running into the water, the rest of the girls following. Hermione had kept herself fully clothed and watched, laughing as the boys stole kisses and pinches.

And as Hermione watched... yes, she'd smoked. It wasn't something she was proud of, and not something that she'd do unless she was with her camp friends, but Hermione had been in a particularly awkward phase where she felt even more out-of-sorts with being a witch and all (not that any of them know, obviously) among Muggle girls with Muggle girl problems.

The boys they fancied never noticed them.

The past year Hermione had watched her friend almost get killed by a dragon, was bewitched and tie under water in a danger, mer-people infested lake, and watched as the most handsome boy in school dropped out of the sky, dead, a symbol of the return of the Dark Lord.

She just hadn't known how to fit in. So she'd been pressured into smoking. She'd coughed at first, but as the girls chain-smoked, passing Hermione fag after fag, it became easier... relaxing, even.

That was the memory that came to Hermione's mind when she started having an anxiety attack when she'd been thinking too much one after noon. She was pretty sure Sirius was napping and she was almost positive Remus was picking up extra hours at the book shop. Hermione poked her head out of her bedroom and called out for either of them.

No answer.

She walked as quietly as possible into the kitchen. The boys usually kept an extra pack at the table for when they woke up in the morning. And there it was, a half-pack of Marlboro Red. Hermione really hated herself for reaching out of the boy and slipping out one of the cigarettes. Her hand was shaking. There was a lighter sitting in the box as well that she nabbed.

Hermione climbed out of her window and out onto the fire-escape, leaning against the brick wall, and light her cigarette with trembling fingers.

A few drags later, the anxiety slid away. It was replaced by shame, but a lesser shame, one that she could deal with. The smooth roll of smoke down into her lungs and out through her nostrils became a rhythm she focused on and lulled her into a sense of serenity.

"What the fuck?"

Hermione almost jumped out of her skin and almost lost her cigarette. She coughed and choked on the smoke as she a almost swallowed her uvula in shock.

"God, Sirius! What did I tell you about sneaking up on people?" Hermione snapped, pressing the heel of her hand to her forehead.

Sirius's eyes were huge. "Hermione... are you dying?"

"What? No, I'm not dying!" Hermione sputtered, nonplussed.

"Then what the fuck are you doing?"

Hermione sighed and tapped the end of her cigarette against the ashtray Remus had put out there. "I'm smoking, alright?"

"I... well, I certainly see that... but I was more asking... why?" Sirius asked. "You hate smoking. You think its vile and disgusting. And... and you said you've never smoked a cigarette before!"

"I lied, okay?" Hermione said, her head hanging. "I didn't want you guys to know."

"So have you been a Secret Smoker this entire time? Have you been the one stealing Remus's cigarettes? Do I even know you anymore?"

Hermione couldn't help it. She laughed. "No, no, and yes - respectively. It's not like it's a habit. It's something the girls at camp and I used to do. This is my first cigarette in years, fear not."

Sirius stared at her blankly for a bit. "I'm freaked out right now."

"You freak out about weird things, Sirius."

"Love, this isn't like you."

Hermione sighed again, grey clouds following her breath. "I know."

There was a length of silence between them.

"Was there anything you needed?" Hermione asked, thinking that she might have taken the only lighter in the house and that's what he'd come for.

"Oh, yeah," Sirius realized. "Lily is in labor."

"WHAT?!" Hermione yelled, totally dropping the forgotten fag. "And you didn't lead with that?" she demanded, shoving her way past him and through the window.

"Well, I'm sorry," Sirius said, obviously unrepentant. "I was battling an internal confliction, having caught my girlfriend smoking and not knowing whether to feel betrayed or turned on."

"Sirius, shut up and get some clothes on! We have to get to St. Mungo's!"

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. BABY HARRY! 3. What do you think about the reveal of Hermione's visit to herself?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	40. A Very Bad Idea

A/N. So, I've finally got everything sorted out. This story is probably going to end up being 60 chapters, overall. I'm trying to get it moving because important stuff will be happening. And I'm also trying to avoid going through all of the stuff we already know about to the point of it being boring.

I dunno, when I read fanfictions, I want to see stuff from a different point of view and not the way we've all seen a thousand times.

You guys all recommended some really good fics! I haven't gotten to all of them yet, but here are three -

"The Cliff" by **CauseChocolateRocks**

"Eros & Psyche" by **RZZMG **(WARNING: This fic is definitely rated M for a reason. Should be at least 17 to read.)

When Darkness Falls by **caputdraconis14 **(this is an Albus/Scorpius story. Slash. Its hard to find a well-written story with them, so this one is at least neatly written, and it was interesting enough).

...~oOo~...

Chapter Forty: A Very Bad Idea

Harry James Potter was in the dark of night that day in July. He was an impressively plump baby, Hermione decided, and gave Lily the credit due for pushing out the little monster.

Sirius would never admit it, but Hermione saw his eyes well up when Lily and James asked him to be Harry's godfather. Hermione's heart melted while Sirius, glassy-eyed, nodded and then went to Harry's baby cot to pick him up. For a good ten minutes, Sirius was using Harry and his own long hair as a shield, hiding his tears from everyone.

Remus, soon after it was announced that it was a boy, fell conked out in the waiting room. Peter hovered around Harry in a way that made Hermione extremely uncomfortable. She knew he knew about the Prophecy, and he was probably getting ready to Apparate off and report to his Master at any moment. But until then, Hermione was watching him like a hawk. And he noticed.

Hermione had a feeling that Peter wasn't beyond kidnapping. Though this was a pretty ridiculous of her - seeing as she knew, historically, that Harry wouldn't be kidnapped - she was still going to make clear to Peter, through plenty of death stares, that she would have to go through her before even thinking about it.

A very sleepy Lily told them all to head home once it'd become technically morning. The sky was black. Hermione was hesitant to go, so lingered and chatted absently until Peter had left first. And then Sirius actually whined that he was sleepy and wanted to go home. They roused Remus and left.

Hermione slid under the covers of Sirius's - their - bed and rubbed her feet together, desperate to get them warm. Sirius was always complaining about her cold feet, but his legs were always so warm and her toes so frozen. It seemed like a perfectly acceptable move to use his body heat as toe-warmers - but _no_, he had to be a big baby about it.

The window was open, letting it warm summer night breezes. She heard caws of a bird while Sirius tucked her to his side.

"That was amazing," he said, sounding tired and awake at the same time. "I've never seen a baby be... birthed before."

Hermione snorted. "You make Lily sound like a cow, birthing a calf."

He chuckled quietly. "It was so weird. You should count your blessings that you weren't in the room. There was a lot of blood."

"I'm not too squeamish about that sort of thing," Hermione said. "But Remus and I did play a scintillating tic-tac-toe marathon while you and James were experiencing the miracle of life."

"Who won?"

"It was a solid tie... or at least, that's what I'm leading Remus to believe."

Sirius laughed again and pulled Hermione to him tighter. He moved onto his hip and pressed his face into Hermione's neck. She felt him inhale and it tickled, along with the tips of his hair. With a quiet smile, Hermione twined her fingers into Sirius's hair.

"Hermione..." he said quietly.

"Hmm?" she murmured, reveling in the weight on his head, shoulder, and arm resting on her. She was inching to toes closer to his legs, hoping he wouldn't notice.

"How would you feel... about trying for a baby?"

Hermione blinked. Did she hear what she thought she heard? "Er... Pardon?"

Sirius cleared his throat a bit. "I... I want a family and I want one with you," he said boldly, leaning up on his elbows to look down at her.

Their faces were so close that the tips of their noses nearly brushed.

Hermione swallowed. "Sirius... that's a big step."

"I know," he said. "But Lily and James are over the moon, Alice is about ready to pop any day now, and... well, I used to think I'd live forever but life is feeling so short lately. With the McKinnons gone, and the Bones... I don't want to waste any time."

"Jumping into this smack in the center of a war... it's not conventional..." Hermione said, trying to be gentle with him. Trying to be the voice of reason. But God, did her heart pitter-patter like baby feet at his words. He wanted to have a baby with her. He wanted to be with her in a way that meant forever.

It was simultaneously incredible and devastating.

"Why should we let You-Know-Who put a stall on our lives," he said. "By letting him control our choices, we're handing him our will. By living on and loving and growing - that's the only way we can truly win."

Hermione's throat had a lump in it. She reached up to touch his face, but his eyes said he already knew what she was going to say.

"We... can't, Sirius," Hermione whispered, brushing her thumbs over his jaw and up to his temple, across his forehead. Between his beautiful, smoky eyes. "It would be irresponsible."

"Is it because we're not married?" he inquired.

"That's only a very small part of it," she whispered. "But still, yes, a part of it."

With a frown creasing his brow, Sirius's hand caressed her ribcage and downward until he touched her belly. Closing his eyes, he sighed. But he nodded, before rolling onto his back once more.

In a silent apology, Hermione curled up to his side and kissed his cheek before falling asleep on his chest.

...~oOo~...

"I cannot possibly express to you just how horrible of a plan this is," Remus said.

"Always the downer," Sirius grumped. "Just shut up. You said you were going to help me, not nag me."

"I'm trying to do damage control," Remus said. "Helping you will have a far better outcome than if I didn't."

"Someone has a high sense of importance," Sirius mumbled. "Now, let's get down to business. I rather like that one."

Remus rubbed his jaw. "Hmm... well, that's a good one I suppose. If you want to develop it a breathable atmosphere, able to sustain human life."

Sirius glared at Remus, making it clear that he was heavily resenting ever asking him to come.

"I don't know how long _you've_ known Hermione," Remus said with heavy sarcasm, "but I've known her for quite a while, and I am firm in my belief that she's not the type of girl that wants a diamond the size of a small planet."

Sirius banged his forehead against the storefront glass in a gesture of distress. Pressing his face into it and looking down at the lovely, shining, disgracefully expensive array of jewelry. Why, only ten minutes into shopping, did it become so damned difficult?

"Why are you being such a prat today, of all days?" Sirius moaned. "Isn't that my thing?"

"I already told you," Remus said. "I think this is a bad idea. You're not ready to marry Hermione, much less get engaged. And Hermione, being a perfectly logical and intellectual woman, will know this. And she will know what bad timing this is, and of course, know what an awful idea it is. So she'll turn you down - doing the right thing, mind you - and you will freak out and you won't leave your room for weeks and I can't handle such drama between my roommates every waking moment when all I want to do is make some coffee and watch the telly."

"Such selfish motives aren't like you, Moony," Sirius said, raising an eyebrow at him. "Are you sure its not anything else?"

Remus gave him a very blunt look. "I've no reason to lie. It's your life you're screwing up."

"You're saying being with Hermione is a mistake?"

"Of course not," Remus refuted. "Hermione is amazing. Any man would be lucky to have her. I'm saying that this is really bad timing. And, Pads..." He sighed and put a hand on Sirius's shoulder. His face softened and he looked in his friend's greyish eyes. "Pads, I know you want a family. I know its killing you to see James and Lily starting a life together. I know you love Hermione so much it hurts. But this isn't the time to do it."

With a heavy sigh, Sirius straightened up and faced Remus fully. They were about the same height, then, so their eyes were level.

"I hear what you're saying. I understand," Sirius said slowly. "But I just... have that feeling. You know the one? Where I have this stroke of genius and I just can't help but do it, despite the consequences. Well, now... Now, Hermione is my stroke of genius. And nothing can stop me. Not you, not McGonagall, not Mrs. Norris, and not heartbreak."

Sirius gave Remus a playful punch in the shoulder and turned to walk into the jewelry store.

...

"How can I help you two gentlemen?" the young woman asked with a bright smile. She was dressed in a pinstripe woman's suit and very high heels. Her hair, a honey brown was yanked up into a ponytail and striped with bleached highlights.

"We're just looking," Remus said, before they would be suckered in by a salesperson.

Sirius glared at Remus, but went back to staring into the glass cases.

The woman hovered. It was a long few minutes before she said, "You are a lovely couple."

"Huh?" Sirius immediately said.

"My uncle just had a beautiful commitment ceremony with his partner -"

"No, no, no," Remus said, waving his hand and shaking his head fervently. "We aren't gay."

"Why does everyone think we're gay?" Sirius asked no one in particular.

"It's because of your hair."

"Are you sure it isn't your scarves?"

"Maybe if your pants weren't so damn tight -"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," the woman said, trying to make peace, holding up her manicured hands. "I was mistaken. I just assumed, and it was wrong of my. My apologies."

"No big deal," Remus said with a shrug, inconspicuously elbowing Sirius, who growled quietly in response.

"So who is looking for a ring, and for whom? Birthday present? Promise ring? Or... engagement?" she asked, her eyes glittering enthusiastically at the last option.

"That one," Sirius said. "Engagement. I'm going to ask my girlfriend to marry me."

The woman's eyes got huge. "How wonderful. Congratulations. How long have you been together?"

"Nearly a year now," he said. "But, we dated for a half of a year when we were in school, but then she mysteriously disappeared, and then she came back and we had a romp, but I had a girlfriend, so I broke up with said girlfriend, but then my current girlfriend moved in and it took a while before we got together, so it feels like a lot longer, anyway."

The woman blinked. She looked to Remus for some clarification. Remus, who still wasn't sure if any of it made sense, shrugged.

"Alright..." the woman said, recovering quickly. "Okay, I've heard stranger stories. So. What's she like? Tell me about her so I can hopefully direct you towards the ring that most fits her."

"Well, she's a tiny thing," Sirius said. "Puffy, curly hair. Very clever, smartest person I know. She really likes books - more than she likes me, sometimes. Er... What else? Well, she's really opinionated, and loud about it. She's really stubborn." Sirius paused. "Anything you'd like to add, Moons?"

Remus thought for a moment. "She's very emotional, and secretly insecure. She can pull off this confidence that would intimidate any man, but in private she's very... unsure. Emotional. Easily distressed. Fragile. Not as strong as she portrays herself to be. She's an old soul and a traditionalist, but also an activist. She has a very strong... voice."

Sirius stared at Remus for a long minute. "Should you be the one dropping down on one knee, mate?"

Remus scowled. "No, you idiot. She's just my best friend."

"Oh, so you're her best friend," the woman said, suddenly understanding. "Makes sense. It's very good that you're here, for moral support."

"Unfortunately, I couldn't get out of it if I wanted," Remus grumbled. "We live together and he'd make my life hell."

The saleswoman giggled. "Well, between the two of you I have a pretty good picture of who this girl is."

"I have an actual picture," Sirius offered, pulling out his wallet. He carefully chose the picture of Hermione that was a Muggle photograph. He held it out for her.

"She is beautiful," the saleswoman said, nodding. "I think I know just the selection of rings for you to look at."

...~oOo~...

Hermione wasn't nearly as good at cooking dinner as she was at breakfast, and after a long day of utter boredom at the library - the head librarian was a harpy and wouldn't let Hermione read, even when it was completely dead - she came home to find neither of her favorite people there. So more boredom came because of it.

She'd started off by balling Sirius's socks. Then she pressed Remus's underwear, for absolutely no reason other than she had nothing better to do. How could all of the laundry be done, she asked a higher power? Why wasn't there some kind of housework for her to occupy herself with?

She she'd started teaching herself how to toss popcorn in the air and catch it with her mouth. Sirius could do it. James could do it. Even Remus could do it. Shortly after the start of her self-training, she came to the sad conclusion that she just did not have the eye-hand coordination to accomplish such a trick.

She tried teaching Dandelion to play fetch, but all that resulted in was a new collection of scratches down her arms. Hermione wondered if it was too late to get her de-clawed.

Finally, she settled on making dinner. And the only thing she could make without fail was spaghetti... so there she was. As always, being self-conscious of under-cooking and over-cooking the pasta, Hermione fished one of the noodles from the boiling water and threw it, with force, at the opposite way.

The noodle stuck. The spaghetti was done.

She was in the middle of draining the pasta when the door opened and she heard the two male voices enter. Her heart jumped with excitement for the end of her boredom. Leaving the spaghetti in the strainer in the sink, Hermione ran to the door and grabbed them both into a hug.

Remus laughed. "Missed us, did you?"

"Missed _me_, you mean," Sirius said smugly.

"Missed you both," Hermione said, giving them a final squeeze with her tiny arms around their broad, manly, masculine bodies. "Where were you? I came home hours ago and you weren't here."

"Had a pint with James and it got carried away," Sirius quickly explained. "You know how Jamie Boy is. Always chatting, never stopping. Can barely get him to shut up."

"He was probably just really excited about little Harry," Hermione said, beaming. "You know how new parents are. Their baby becomes their whole world. Lily was the same way when we had lunch the other day."

"Yeah, that's James too..." Sirius said, tucking his hands into his pockets slowly. "What's that smell?"

"Oh! Sauce and pasta! I made spaghetti for dinner," Hermione said, jogging back to the kitchen. "I hope you're both hungry!"

"Starved," Remus assured her, kissing her head.

"I'm going to go change into my pajamas, I'll be right back," Sirius said, pecking Hermione on the lips and slipping into the hallway.

"So did you guys do anything else interesting today?" she asked the werewolf as she pulled the sauce off the burner and began getting out plates.

"No," Remus said, taking out the silverware. "Absolutely nothing. Boring day at the pub."

"The pub is never boring with the Marauders," Hermione said with a smirk.

Remus was happy to see Hermione smiling again, it'd been a while. He nodded. "I guess you could say that."

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. How will Sirius propose?! 3. What will Hermione's answer be? 4. Is there any other reason why Remus thinks this is a bad idea?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	41. Duty & Heart

A/N. I have made an email specifically for those of you that want to talk to me but don't have an account, or simply want to be penpals or have suggestions or comments you don't want the everyone to see. It is resaxwrites yahoo . com (remove the spaces, obviously). This way, even when I am not logged on to the site and you have a quick question, I can answer immediately from my phone.

But still review of course! I live for reviews. And red velvet ice cream.

SO SORRY ABOUT MY ABSENCE THESE LAST FEW WEEKS. Life is crazy. Another computer in my possession died (some of you might remember the death of my netbook during TLM, how it quite literally exploded), which may be sending me a sign. Technology hates me and I hate it. Its a mutual hatred.

Maybe I'll become Amish. No need for computers over there.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Forty-One: Duty & Heart

Remus watched Sirius and Hermione intently. As far as he knew, Sirius was yet to pop the question, and according to the calendar, a month had passed since he bought the ring.

Sirius was not a shy man, nor a hesitant one. When he wanted something, he plowed towards it, fast and blind as a minotaur.

But Hermione was far more cautious. And smart. And she would know that the timing of such a proposal, and the current war atmosphere, were not compliant to a good marriage. Remus knew that Hermione would think this way.

And the anticipation was too much for Remus to take. It was like watching the timer a bomb blinking. Most assuredly, Hermione would turn Sirius down, thus creating an argument of apocalyptic proportions. One of them would end up moving out - likely Hermione - and Remus would have to lock himself in his bedroom with limited supplies until it was all over.

And then would come Sirius's inevitable moping.

And the crying.

And the sleeping around.

Remus dropped his forehead to the kitchen table at the idea. Unbearable. It would be unbearable. Remus loved Sirius like a brother, and Hermione was his best friend. He couldn't choose a side if such a disaster were to occur, but he would be forced to.

Worst of all, Lily would likely be on Hermione's side, and if Remus chose Sirius... well, no one wanted to make an enemy of Lily Potter.

"What's wrong with you?" Sirius asked, pulling Remus from his reverie.

Remus lifted his head slightly. Sirius was lowering himself into the chair across from him. He started liberally buttering his bagel. Like most mornings, he was shirtless and wearing boxers - which was Remus was grateful for since there have been mornings where his roommate would forego pants altogether.

"Just... counting down."

"Until what?"

"Until the end of the world?"

Sirius's brow furrowed. "I thought that wasn't for another few decades. Fucking Mayans."

"No, I mean the end of this world. The Den. Because the second you get on one knee, you are lighting the fuse, my friend," Remus said, sitting up once more and sipping his cooled-down coffee.

Sirius looked left and right. "Hermione's left for work already, right?"

"Yes," Remus answered. "So, it's time for a talk. Why haven't you wrecked my friendships yet, exactly?"

"You're so overly dramatic," Sirius said with a slight sneer. He took a giant, crunching bite of toasted bagel. "And if you must know, I'm waiting for her birthday. That way I can take her out without it looking suspicious."

"Why did you get the ring so early?"

"In case a better situation presented itself. Like a hot air balloon faire coming into town, or something like that. Always be prepared, and all that," Sirius explained. Sirius reached across the table and took a drink from Remus's mug. He scowled. "Your coffee's cold."

"No shit," Remus mumbled, snatched his cup back and raising it to his mouth, without drinking. "Sirius, I think you need to seriously prepare for the possibility that she'll say no."

"She'll say yes," Sirius said confidently.

"And how do you know this?"

"Because she loves me," Sirius answered. "And when you love someone, and they ask you to marry them, you generally accept. It's bad form not to."

"Dammit, Sirius! Be realistic for once, will you? Not everything is so easy," Remus stressed, leaning forward. "We are in war. Hermione has secrets - we all know it. You want children, and she is just not going to comply right now. Wake up. There are forces that rival love, sometimes."

"No force is greater than love," Sirius said firmly. His eyes were serious, which caught Remus off guard. Sirius was rarely serious about anything.

"Perhaps not," Remus granted. "But some come very close." He sighed. "I don't want to see you get hurt, Pads. And I don't want Hermione in a place where she has to choose between duty and heart."

Sirius was staring deeply into Remus's eyes, like he was trying to discern something. It was a long time before he said, "Moons... are you sure that you don't feel -"

"Not this again," Remus groaned. "No, Sirius, I don't have feelings for Hermione!"

"Are you very sure? Because if you do, it' okay, because you know it's not a big deal -"

"I don't!" Remus snapped, getting frustrated with this line of questioning. "Believe it or not, Sirius, Hermione has a life outside of you. In school when you tormented her, who was there? Me. When you ignored her after the break-up, who remained friends with her? I did. And when she came back from France and you were the biggest arsehole in the fucking world, I stood by her then, too. You are not the sun she revolves around. I care about her, and you're putting her in a difficult position, because you're the same old selfish prat you've always been!"

Silence fell over the two men. Remus swallowed and Sirius stared. They each sat rigidly. When Remus let out a breath, it shook.

Sirius sighed and rubbed his eyes. "You love her."

"Not in the way you're implying, but yes. I do."

"You don't want to come between us..." Sirius said slowly. "You want to keep us together."

Remus nodded.

"You're a good friend, mate," Sirius said, standing up. He patted him on the shoulder. He put his plate in the sink and lazily strode towards the hall, where he bedroom was.

It was a full three minutes before Remus realized that Sirius hadn't said he was giving up on proposing.

...~oOo~...

Hermione spied on Remus and Sirius for days before her birthday. She did not want to walk into another surprise party and needed to know if there was a conspiracy going behind her back. She needed to nip it in the bud if necessary.

So now, when Hermione took a deep breath and got ready for work that morning, she did a quick sweep of the boys' rooms. No streamers, balloons, or other party paraphernalia. Everything was clear...

Which only made her even more suspicious.

Her paranoia was unrivaled. If there was no party stuff, she was expecting some sort of prank. She dabbed a finger into the sugar bowl and tasted it before she made her coffee. She opened every door slowly. Cast a Finite on the toilet bowl, just in case.

She felt unsafe in her own home. This was getting crazy. And Sirius wasn't harassing her about staying home for her birthday.

"Okay, what's happening?" Hermione demanded, arms crossed and glaring down at Sirius, who was half-asleep in his bed, soaking up the last few minutes of rest before he too had to get ready for work.

"Huh?" he said, blinking up at her blearily. "What are you talking about?"

"Is it a party or a prank? Or something worse? Please tell me, I can't handle the suspense."

"It is simply too early for your riddles, love," Sirius mumbled, rolling over and clutching the pillow on her side to his chest. "Go to work and we'll talk about it when you get home."

Hermione was tapping her foot. "Sirius, I cannot spend all day worried out of my mind over what you have planned for my birthday."

"Is that what this is about? Sour because I haven't wished you happy birthday yet? Hermione, my darling, I am sleeping," he told her, spooning the pillow the way that he usually did to her. "But Happy Birthday. There. I'll say it again when you come home, too."

"What have you got planned?"

"Nothing, I swear," Sirius said simply. "We all agreed that a party was a bad idea, considering you almost killed Frank last year."

Hermione huffed. "It was an accident! Sirius Orion Black, you listen closely. I am going to go to work so whatever bucket of slime or confetti or anything propped over to drop on my head in some twisted attempt at celebrating my birthday when I get home, you will be sorry!" She snatched up her purse and marched out of the flat, watching her step as she went.

...

Dinner out. It was very... mature. It shocked Hermione, but she was oddly proud of Sirius for his very adult choice in having dinner out for her birthday. At first she felt bad about leaving Remus at the flat alone, but he promised he would head out to the pub with Peter. He said he would need a drink, whatever that meant.

"Dress nicely," Sirius told her as she shuffled through her closet. "It's a very fancy place."

Hermione chuckled and said, "Alright, Sirius." He was acting like an over-excited puppy, had been like that since she got home. It must be one of his favorite restaurants, or something. Not that she ever suspected Sirius went anywhere to eat that wasn't a pub.

So Hermione slipped into her little black dress, something she always needed to have. It could be dressed up, dressed down, worn to funerals or weddings. It was pretty much the perfect secret weapon to look nice without putting in too much effort or being uncomfortable. It was long sleeved with a square neckline and came to her knees. It hugged her hips just enough to give her a figure while simultaneously slimming her down.

She added a pair of fake pearl earrings, matching necklace, and short heels. Piling her hair up, she put it into a semi-formal bun-looking thing and splashed on a little perfume behind her ears.

Sirius was waiting by the door when she was done. He wore one of his nicer suits, with a sapphire waist coat and cufflinks.

"You look dashing," Hermione said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. She was feeling good for the first time in a long time. She felt pretty, Sirius looked good enough to eat, and so far nothing had scared her out of her pants. It could be a good birthday yet, ignoring the fact she was significantly younger than everyone thought do to her slight trip forward through time with the botched Time Key experiment.

"I can say the same for you," Sirius said, his eyes raking down her body. His raw gaze made Hermione blush.

"We should say goodbye to Remus," she said as Sirius opened the door.

"He already left for the pub," Sirius told her.

Hermione paused. "No surprise parties when we get back?"

Sirius shook his head. "When we get back, I'm going to want you all to myself." He gave his signature wink, offered his his arm, and they were off.

Sirius had been right, the restaurant was fancy. And French, which was a small comfort. At least she could read the menus and hear what the waiters said to each other while they thought no one was listening.

Hermione was also touched. Sirius believed Hermione was from France, so this attempt at making her feel "home" was a really sweet gesture. She squeezed his hand affectionately as the host led them to their table Sirius had reserved.

It was in a more private corner of the restaurant, with a tablecloth, multiple kinds of forks and candles. A bouquet of roses sat in a beautiful vase.

"Those are for you," Sirius said.

"These are lovely, Sirius," Hermione said as they settled into the seats. She touched the silky petals and bent forward to inhale their scent. "And this restaurant is... wow. Really... wow. Fancy."

Sirius nodded with bright eyes. "It is your birthday. Not every day you turn twenty-one."

There was the guilt. Hermione was only nineteen, but tried not to dwell on that. Her age was practically indeterminable with all her time traveling anyway.

"Wine, Monsieur?" the bar man came around. He was dressed impeccably in the standard tux.

"Champagne, actually. Veuve Cliquot Rosé... 1971, if you have it, I think. We'll have the bottle," Sirius said confidently.

"An excellent choice," the bartender said before retreating.

Hermione's eyes were huge. "Isn't that... expensive?"

"Love, I'm independently wealthy," he said as if it were the most normal thing in the world. "A favorite uncle left me an impressive chunk of change. It's no big deal and you deserve to be spoiled."

The bartender was back rather quickly, carrying two flutes and the bottle. The cork popped and the bubbles emerged elegantly, making their way into the glasses. He set them down in front of Hermione and Sirius.

"Where are the other waiters?" Hermione asked, looking around. "And... why don't we have menus?"

"Well, tonight is a very special evening," Sirius said with that grin of his, the one that said he knew something she didn't. "Our meal has already been prepared and will be brought out to us shortly, I'm sure."

"Our food is... ready?" Hermione's brow was furrowed. "But... what if its something we don't like."

"Oh, we'll like it," he reassured her. "Try the champagne."

Slowly, Hermione rose the flute to her lips and sipped. It was cool, bubbly, and tasted like... "Strawberries," Hermione realized, looking at the liquid closely. "It tastes like strawberries."

"Yes, it does," he said casually, smiling serenely. "How do you like the glasses?"

Brow furrowing further, Hermione examined the glass. It was the perfect flute - not a single scratch or fingerprint, elegant yet simple. "They're beautiful. Why?"

"Crystal," he said. "I'm thinking about getting them engraved."

Hermione giggled, feeling nervous and suspicious for some reason. It wasn't an awful feeling, just... a growing feeling in her belly. What was he up to? "With what?"

"A date, perhaps," Sirius said, seeming to be thinking offhand. "Maybe names. Initials. What do you think?"

"Of what...?" Hermione said, looking around. The area was strangely empty. "Where's our food? Sirius, what are you up to? Are waiters going to start singing _Joyeux Anniversaire_ or something?"

"Not quite," Sirius said, smirking. "I've decided to do this the Muggle way. Muggle restaurant, Muggle food, French stuff and fancy champagne. I've done extensive research... and by research I mean I asked Remus."

And it was suddenly dawning on Hermione, slowly the pieces came together. This was so much bigger than just her birthday. "Oh... Sirius..."

"But I worked hard," he continued, leaning forward and taking one of her hands in his. "I did. The big Valentine's Day surprise in Seventh Year was difficult and I had help - but this I did all by myself. Well... mostly by myself. Because it meant a lot to me that this was perfect. For you. Because I love you, Hermione."

"I-I love you too, Sirius, but -"

"Hermione, you are incredible," he went on, the look in his eyes growing deeper and more sincere with every word. "So wonderful. Patient with me and loving and so funny. I love that you read, even though I don't understand the fixation. I love how your nose scrunches up when you're thinking hard or when you're about to scold me. I love every single freckle on you, and every strand of hair - despite its repeated attempts to strangle me in my sleep. I love how you say my name and your eyes when you look at me, like I'm more than just idiotic Sirius Black. And I don't think I can live without all of that, ever.

"I've come to depend on you," Sirius said, his voice getting soft, but with that low rough quality to it. "On your presence in my life. On your love. I can't live without you, which is why I have to ask you..."

Sirius slid off of his chair and lowered himself to one knee in front of Hermione. From the inner breast pocket of his coat he withdrew a small velvet box. The infamous little jewelry box that girls hungered for and boys dreaded.

Hermione could feel her lower lip trembling. Tears threatened.

And after than lengthy speech, Sirius only had two words to say to her, with an eager, anxious look in his smoky eyes: "Marry me?"

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. CLIFFHANGER! WHAT WILL HERMIONE'S ANSWER BE?! 2. What's YOUR favorite champagne or wine? I had this kind, the Rose, when I was dating a very rich heir to a company. Our relationship was brief, but I was absolutely spoiled. 3. If you're not old enough to drink, what's your favorite bubbly drink?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	42. Warm Blooms & Nightsongs

A/N. I'm a bad person, aren't? I take an unexpected leave of absence and when I return I drop a cliffhanger on you guys. *shame*

Well, I'm about to remedy that *smiles*

By the way, Remus is looking less like an alien and more like a person every day! His eyes are just so... like, big. And wide. He has a perpetual look of shock on his face.

The title is from a poem by Wendell Berry.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Forty-Two: Warm Blooms and Nightsongs

Remus was in the middle of one of the best nights of sleep he'd had in a long time. The full moon had passed, which meant much restlessness beforehand, and so now that it was over, he was happy to be feeling normal and able to sleep.

But it was not without aid. Lying next to him was a very pretty blonde named Sabrina. They'd been meeting on and off for a year, but very quietly. Remus was good at being discreet. It wasn't that he was ashamed or embarrassed - just private. He didn't want the ragging-on that came with telling his buddies when it wasn't all that serious.

Remus hated to think the phrase "friends with benefits", so it would be a thousand times worse saying it out loud.

Sabrina was asleep. Remus was asleep.

That was until the front door open and he was woken from his dreams by loud talking, mostly on Sirius's part.

" - tell Lily and James and Harry and Peter and Remus, when he gets home and -"

"Sirius!" That was Hermione. Remus would know her no-nonsense-but-secretly-amused tone anywhere. "We've been through this! We need to set very specific rules."

"Right, right," Sirius immediately consented, in his usual I-just-want-to-please-Hermione-and-nothing-else-because-I-am-like-an-eager-puppy-around-her. "What were those rules again?"

"Sirius... we have to wait, remember?"

"Yes, yes, of course I remember, though I'm still not exactly sure why."

"Because! We're in the middle of a war!"

"But Lily and James did it!" Sirius whined.

"Yes, but that's Lily and James. Are either of us Lily or James?"

Sirius was quiet for a second. "Well... no, I suppose not."

"I'm not comforted by how long it took you to answer that rhetorical question."

"I'm still confused."

"It's a war, Sirius. We are active in said war. It would be the height of stupidity to get married right now!"

Remus groaned and rolled his face into his pillow. Sirius had done it. He had effectively destroyed whatever contentedness Remus ever had. Save our souls, Remus thought sourly.

But what was Hermione saying? What was this "we have to wait" nonsense...?

"I know, I know, but it shouldn't matter," Sirius, sounding firmer now. "We shouldn't let the Dark Lord steal whatever happiness we can have - because that's when we truly let him win."

"I understand what you're saying, but that doesn't discredit the fact that -"

Then there was silence. Some movement.

Remus rolled his eyes. Leave it to Sirius to do the dramatic grab-kiss to stop Hermione from proving his wrong. That man was so confident in his abilities to addle a girl's brain with a bit of snogging...

"Will you quit your foot-stomping for a few minutes?" Sirius then said with a chuckle. "I mean, for Merlin's sake, we're engaged. A proposal shouldn't be followed up with arguing."

Engaged. They were engaged.

To muffle to sounds of romantic tumbling towards the bedroom, Remus shoved his head under his pillow. Whatever had happened at that restaurant ended with Hermione accepting. And for the life of him, Remus could not understand why.

...

"We're going to keep it quiet for the most part," Hermione said to Remus the next morning.

Remus hadn't been able to sleep after Sabrina left. She'd gotten up rather early, having work that day, so Remus had been left hours alone to his musing. So he'd gotten up to make some coffee and have a cigarette when he found Hermione sitting at the table with a cuppa and staring at his pack of cigarettes like they were a lifeline that she just wasn't willing to touch.

And the hair that was clasping her hair as she stared blankly was adorned with a beautiful white gold ring with dainty diamonds making three levels. Remus had been a huge advocate for the choice because he knew Hermione would pass out if she saw a massive rock.

Remus had sat across from her and she'd looked up slowly and smiled at him. She held out her hand wordlessly before they started talking.

"Why's that?" Remus asked as he lit up. Hermione didn't even complain about him smoking in the house. She was far too lost in thought.

"It'd feel sort of... disrespectful, you know? With so many deaths lately, and the Prophecy about Harry... A wedding would be a bit much to throw at people when their biggest concerns are funerals," Hermione said quietly. She took a sip from her mug.

Remus snorted. "Don't give me the Sirius Answer. This is me you're talking to."

"I don't know what you mean," Hermione said.

Remus leaned forward. "Hermione, have I ever come off as a fool to you?"

Hermione's eyes got huge. "No, never!"

"So... do you expect me to believe the excuse? I know, the war is a big deal, and it is a good reason, but... it's not _your_ reason, is it?"

Hermione stared at Remus, blinking twice. Then some kind of recognition lit up in her eyes. "What do you know?" she asked quietly.

"I know you have a big secret," Remus said, just as quietly. "I know that you haven't told Sirius - or anyone - and I have a sneaking suspicion that its the real reason you're putting off the wedding," Remus said. "But what I really don't understand is why you said yes in the first place."

Hermione looked down at her small hands, flat on the top of the table. She looked at her engagement ring. And it took a long time for her to say anything, but when she did, there were tears in her eyes.

"I want to marry him," she said thickly. "So much. And when he kneeled in front of me... How was I supposed to say no? I'd never want him to believe that I don't love him, because I do. And if I said no... I couldn't break his heart, or mine for that matter. So I said yes, but I did the best I could, and made conditions." She then covered her face with her hands. "I'm so selfish."

At length, Remus said, "Tell me."

She knew what he meant. Her secret. "I can't."

"Yes, you can. Now, please. You need an ally in this, Hermione. If you tell me, I could... I don't know. Do damage control. Stifle Sirius's suspicions. Comfort you. Anything," he said solemnly.

Remus could see the undiluted fear in Hermione's eyes as she pushed her hands back through her hair.

"I c-can't believe I'm doing this," Hermione uttered under her breath. She swallowed hard and then said, "Remus, you better get yourself a cup of coffee. Because this is going to be a long story."

...~oOo~...

Hermione felt like her life was out of control. Every carefully laid plan had been slapped, stomped on, shoved in the mud and left there to die. Chaos was everywhere.

And she really wished it had anything to do with the war, but it didn't. It was her godforsaken friends causing her stress headaches and nerves ulcers.

She'd told Remus, against her every better judgment. But she desperately needed someone to confide in, someone to talk to, because after the proposal she felt on the edge of just exploding from all the building pressure. She was dying to tell Sirius, but that would end in an absolute disaster. Remus she could rely on to keep his head at the very least.

And she hadn't divulged any life-changing details. She explained how she came to fall back through time, the whole incident with the Black library and the woman who directed her to the book. She did not explain exactly why the book was so important. But she did reveal how she came to meet him the first time. She said nothing of Sirius's imprisonment, Lily and James's deaths, or Peter's betrayal.

Ever since, whenever they were alone, Remus would try prying more details from Hermione's very vague tale, but she was locked down like a Gringott's vault. Nothing would slide past her barriers.

To add to the stress of Remus's persistence was Sirius's nagging to make the wedding sooner rather than later. Then there was Lily's nagging at wedding planning for a wedding that Hermione knew was likely never to happen and that would only leave her more depressed.

And Hermione was smoking again, against her morals. Another thing to make her hate herself.

Lily escaped from the solitude of hiding under a Polyjuice Potion, making her look like Molly Weasley, which was off-putting to say in the least. But the personalities were not too far off.

"Wedding dresses!" Lily enthused, Molly's round face breaking into a smile. "You have to at least look at wedding dresses!"

"Absolutely not," Hermione said, turning in the busy london street away from the bridal shop and towards wild traffic. Hermione would take her chances with London drivers over Lily in a bridal shop.

"Come back here!" Lily shouted. "Just to look! I won't pressure you into buying, I promise!"

"I don't believe you!" Hermione called over her shoulder, about to step off the pavement.

Lily snagged the back of Hermione's jumper, yanking her back. "Indulge me, Hermione. I've been cooped up for ages! Do this for me. Who knows how long it will be before you and Sirius actually get married. Let me dream!"

Hermione sighed. She'd been carrying so much guilt lately, that Lily's pout on Molly's face was the feather to tip the scales. It was a combination of all her woes. Molly, whose son she used to be madly in love with before she tumbled through time and was now a baby and couldn't find herself ever being with after such a fiasco. Lily, Harry's mother - Harry's poor, dead mother - longing for Hermione's wedding to Sirius - poor, incarcerated godfather Sirius - which was a wedding that was never going to happen.

"I suppose just browsing won't do any harm," Hermione said, utterly defeated.

Lily squealed and grabbed her hand, dragging her into the salon.

The shop was an overwhelming, blinding collection of every shade of white, ivory, and cream. Like clouds everywhere of taffeta and silk. Hermione very nearly passed out. Picturing herself in one of those gowns was just...

Hermione once again felt the need to pass out, but grabbed Lily's shoulder for support.

A lady in a very crisp suit walked up to them within seconds of their entrance.

"Anything I can help you ladies with?" the woman said. Her nametag read "Mindy".

"She's engaged!" Lily said, shoving Hermione forward. Lily really needed to get out more often, because this was like Lily multiplied by ten. Too much Lilyness.

"Congratulations," Mindy said with a smile. Her long blonde hair was brushed back into a perfect ponytail. "May I see the ring?"

Hermione held out her hand.

"Gorgeous," Mindy said, seeming genuinely interested. "What's the groom's name?"

"Sirius," Hermione said, blinking. She was feeling out of sorts. She wasn't entirely sure what was happening. One second she was about to surrender herself to the horrors of London traffic and now she was in a Winter Wonderland of White.

A serious stress headache was coming on.

"An interesting name," Mindy said. "And yours?"

"I'm Hermione, this is... Molly."

"And what's the date of the wedding?"

"No date," Hermione rushed to say, tripping over her words. "No date at all. Not yet. Not for a while yet."

Mindy's perfectly waxed brow furrowed. "You're having... a long engagement then?"

"Yes, we're here just to look," Lily said with a grin. "Though, hopefully this one will get excited and push for an earlier date, maybe."

"Engagement jitters?" Mindy said, sounding sympathetic.

Oh, Muggles. How blissfully ignorant to the war happening only a few blocks away.

Vaguely, Hermione said, "I guess you could say that."

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. SHE SAID YES! WHAT'S NEXT? 3. So now Remus knows. The next chapter will go into more detail about his reaction - what do you think is going through his head?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	43. A Change in Plans

A/N. **NOTE TO ALL READERS**: Please, for the love of God, before you ask any questions about typos or dates, read the author notes! There is usually an explanation, if not the specific chapter than the next one. I don't write them JUST to yap about myself - THEY ARE THERE FOR A REASON.

Please, don't waste my time with all the "that movie wasn't released yet" nonsense, because it is explained that YES I know the real release dates, but I wanted to use them anyway and it's my story so I can do that.

I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but really, use your head and read a little before accusing me of being an idiot. Because I'm not. I do my research, for fuck's sake.

**ALSO!** I am SOOOOO SORRY ABOUT MY ABSENCE! Life is hard, and motherhood is harder. I am convinced that my son has the worst case of colic that seemed to come out of NOWHERE. I have been living off an hour of sleep a night.

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT HE WOULD SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT, HE STARTS THIS.

*rant over*

**PLEASE NOTE** that there is an obvious time jump, but it is self-evident and doesn't matter.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Forty-Three: A Change in Plans

Remus was a better actor than people gave him credit for. He had managed to hide his pseudo-girlfriend, and he had managed to hide his real reaction to Hermione's confession.

In reality, he had nodded with raised eyebrows, expressing the proper amount of concern and asking questions.

In his mind, though, his reaction went a little like this...

WHAT THE FUCK?!

What did this mean? How much did she know about the current war? What was this mysterious book? Why did she need it so badly before falling through time? Whose wedding had she been at? Professor, what?

So after the reveal, Remus had very politely excused himself to use the loo and quietly hit his head against the wall for a few minutes.

Questions plagued him still, weeks later. He tried to be subtle in interrogating Hermione, but it quickly became harassment. Not that he cared. His dreams were even reflecting his curiosity, images of Hermione wearing metal outfits from the future that protect her from aliens that have taken over the world.

He was watching too much telly, obviously.

...

"Alright, boys..." Hermione said, walking into the kitchen one afternoon with the post. "Who subscribed me to a bridal magazine?" She held up the thin book accusingly, the cover showing a young witch in beautiful wedding robes, a crown of flowers in her hair, winking out at them, and slowly twirling to display all angles of the clothes.

"Wasn't me," Sirius immediately said from where he stood at the toaster.

Remus shrugged. "And you know it wasn't me."

"It must have been Lily or Alice," Hermione said, shaking her head and slamming it down onto the kitchen table. "They just won't stop, will they?"

"Not until we're hitched, no," Sirius said with obvious glee, a big smile on his face.

"I mean, Lily already roped me into buying a dress - which takes up far too much room in my closet, by the way," Hermione said, ducking into the fridge and pulling out the apple juice. "And who knows how long before I wear it. I might be gigantic and need to have it resized."

"By gigantic, do you mean knocked up?" Remus asked nervously. Sirius's smile widened.

"No, of course not," Hermione said stiffly. "I mean fat. Sirius, would you still love me if I were fat?"

"Are we talking, like, chubby or... Hagrid-sized?"

Hermione took the magazine rolled it up and hit Sirius hard on the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" Sirius asked.

"The right answer was, 'Of course, darling'," she growled.

"Of course, darling," he mumbled, returning to watching his toast. There was no winning with Hermione. "Do you plan on having a major increase in weight soon?"

"No, it's just nice to hear that you'd love me no matter what," Hermione said, saddling up close next to him, pressing a light kiss to his shoulder.

"Why else would I ask you to marry me?" Sirius said, placing his hand on the small of her back.

Hermione shrugged. "I frankly have no idea."

Remus smirked. Hermione and Sirius were so lovestruck, it was truly amusing to him. Anyone else would feel like a third wheel, but Remus was just happy to see two of his best friends happy.

Though, there was that niggling sense of betrayal... Such a big secret was being concealed from Sirius, and now Remus shared it.

And Remus could tell Sirius was getting suspicious of him. There were days where Remus would jump on the chance to go grocery shopping with Hermione, because he meant to ask her more questions (alright, harass her, whatever). And Remus and Hermione sometimes stayed up late or got up early because of their skewed sleeping habits and nightmares.

Sirius noticed all these changed, Remus knew this. And he was starting to watch Remus more closely.

Sirius was jealous by nature. He never let anyone play with his toys and didn't like anyone looking at Hermione for longer than necessary.

Remus came back to the present when Hermione gave Sirius a kiss on the nape of Sirius's neck and then walked away, probably in search of a book.

To appease Sirius, Remus didn't follow Hermione, no matter how much he was dying for answers.

...~oOo~...

It was a dark day, in every sense. Steely clouds hung in the sky, making every face pale and grey. The sun hid. And the ever Order member donned black robes.

They'd all heard the story a hundred times, and it hurt every time. How they fought like heroes, how the Death Eaters had to work for their lives. How back-up was mere minutes late.

The graves were shiny, new among the rows, sidled up beside each other for the rest of eternity, Fabian and Gideon's names gleamed.

Behind Hermione, Sirius stood, one hand on her waist and his face pressed into the top of her head. He was devastated, and she knew he didn't know how to handle the grief.

Molly Weasley was bawling into her husband's shoulder while holding the hand of her last surviving brother, Bilius.

Hermione hated herself. She had had a chance to change all of the Order members' futures, all with the use of that little blue book, but instead had Dumbledore destroy it. How stupid has she been.

In her mind, she was worse than the Death Eaters. She was personally stealing lives from people she cared about.

It was an ugly day, indeed. Even a murder of crows pecked at the ground not far away. It was the perfect image of mourning - people grouped in black, evil-looking birds, and cracked statues lined up with graves.

Hermione did a head count of the Order. There were half as many witches and wizards as when she started. And though the reign of terror was almost over, Hermione knew exactly who had to be lost in order to get there.

Her gaze slid over to where James had Lily curled in his arms as she wept.

And Hermione made a snap decision.

No.

Not them.

Anyone but them.

...~oOo~...

"Hermione..."

At first, Hermione didn't hear the voice. Eyes shut, she was hanging over the sink in the bathroom, braced on her forearms. She was listening to the running sink and shower. They both were at their hottest temperature, fogging up the mirror with its steam. Droplets of the perspiration ran down her face.

"Hermione," Sirius said, firmer, from the doorway.

Hermione opened her eyes slightly. She must have looked insane. She hadn't slept for weeks, she was down to eating a half of a meal a day, and she had completely withdrawn herself from those she cared about.

And now she was standing in nothing but a bra and panties in front of the mirror while she ran the water of both sink and shower for Merlin knows how long.

Hermione didn't answer Sirius, only watched as he reached around her to turn off the sink and then went to turn off the shower, hissing in pain when the burning hot water splashed him.

"Christ," he uttered, pulled away and shaking his blistered hand. "Hermione, I think you should go to St. Mungo's."

"No," was all she said.

Sirius's eyes turned slate black in a second. "I wasn't asking. Remus and I have been talking and we think -"

"_No_," Hermione said, sharper this time. But then she let out a long sigh and straightened up. "I'm sorry, Sirius." She went to him slowly, gently placing her hands on either side of his chest and then pressing her face over his heart. "I just feel so cold."

Hermione had felt bone cold for days as she struggled to find an answer, a way...

"So you made yourself a steam closet?" Sirius said, sounding skeptical.

Hermione nodded.

With a defeated sigh, Sirius put his hands on her back, pulling her closer and rubbing circles on her bare skin. "Let's go to bed, love. I'll keep you warm." His tone had no sexual undertones, just a deep concern and throbbing adoration.

"Alright, just a moment," Hermione said pulling away carefully and opening the medicine cabinet and taking out a potion.

Sirius saw it and rubbed his eyes. Every month they went through this, and Sirius didn't think Hermione knew just how much it hurt every time she pulled out that little purple potion. She uncorked it, and like every month, Sirius said, "Please don't take that."

And like every month, Hermione gave him a sad look and took it anyway.

Hermione put the bottle back along side the other Contraceptive Potions for the next months.

There was a time when Hermione took the potion because she wanted to wait. Because even when she knew the future, and knew it was all hopeless, she had this fantasy dancing through her head that somehow just her presence would change everything. That soon Voldemort would be vanquished and she and Sirius would be free to pop out as many babies as their hearts desired.

It was an idiotic notion. One that she should have stifled long ago.

Now she took the potion because she never wanted to bring children into such a wretched, unforgiving world.

...~oOo~...

"I'm going out," Hermione said the next evening.

"Where to?"

"Picking up some candy for trick-or-treaters," Hermione told Sirius.

"We have plenty," Remus said, confused.

Hermione continued buttoning up her great coat in a hurry all the same, wrapping a scarf around her head and neck. It was a very cold autumn.

"Not all children like licorice," Hermione explained, her voice sounding funny to the boys' ears.

Sirius's brow was furrowed. "What do we care? They knock on the door, we throw candy at them, they go away. If they don't like it that's their problem."

Without responding, Hermione went to Sirius, met his beautiful smoky grey eyes and stared for longer than she should. Unable to help herself, she stroked his bristled cheek and ran her hands back through his too long, silky black hair.

"You are too handsome for your own good," Hermione whispered. _One look at you, and I want nothing more than to stay. One look at you, and I don't mind destroying everything you love most by simply staying in and watching a film with you. _

And she kissed him. It was a light, barely-there kiss that made Hermione's bones shake.

Then she gave Remus a hug. A quick one, so she didn't raise suspicion further. "I'll see you... later."

Hermione didn't look back once after swinging around and walking through the front door. But, oh, she wish she had.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What will happen in Godric's Hollow toight? 3. What will this mean for the future? 

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	44. Shades of Black

A/N. Alright, so, things are getting sticky. Unlike TLM, this story does not come to an end on the infamous Halloween night. So, hold on tight, this is going to be a bumpy ride.

And WOOHOO! This story has made 1,000 reviews, the 1,000th person being **geekychild**. Thank you, geekychild, and everyone who has reviewed :D

Ready for some answers to big questions...

...~oOo~...

Chapter Forty-Four: Shades of Black

Ever since Fabian and Gideon's funeral, Hermione's magic had been... wonky. It progressively got worse and worse until Hermione found levitating books to be difficult. And not the mention the sinking, gripping cold that had taken hold of her.

Always so cold. She didn't know why. Even cuddling up against Sirius's radiator of a body helped.

The boys assumed it was the oncoming winter. They even believed her magic problems were because she had some kind of flu. After all, she wasn't eating, she looked like death reincarnate, and she was always bundled in duvets and jumpers.

But Hermione knew none of this was true. Something more sinister was at work. She didn't know if it was poison or a curse, but Hermione wasn't going to let it get in the way of saving James, Lily, and Harry. Nothing would get in the way.

In her great coat she had a collection of potions and a few small smoke grenades. If she had to cloak the Potters by Muggle means, than so be it - fog was plenty to cover one's eyesight.

Hermione couldn't Apparate, so she was walking as quickly as she could through Godric's Hollow. It didn't help that on her journey, she seemed to develop a cough that rattled her brain.

She stumbled with the next cough.

She had to hurry.

The trees surrounding the Potters' house were in sight.

Hermione started to raise her wand, to clear the wards that made the house invisible to her, but a darkness descended on her, seemingly from the trees.

At first she thought she was passing out, but then the shape became clear. The blackness was swirling robes.

Hermione tried to scream, but her mouth was promptly covered as the being attacked.

Hermione flailed and kicked and managed to rip herself away. Once free she broke into a run towards James and Lily. The house became clear as she crossed the right boundary.

Hermione was tackled hard from behind. But just before she hit the ground, she saw the front door of the house open.

"NOOO! JAMES!"

There was the first green flash and Hermione desperately attempted clawing the ground, trying to get away from the huge, dark figure holding her to the earth. The figure was human, by its grunts of effort and groans.

Then a piercing cry came from the second story, followed by another green light that filled the house and came through the window curtains.

Hermione let out a blood-curtling scream before her mouth was again stuffed by her attacker's fist. She choked on it, coughing hard.

The house, her attacker, the ground all become fuzzy. Curiously, she felt something cold drip down her lip and when she raised her hand to it, she found blood. The dab of red on her fingertips was the last thing she saw before blacking out.

...~oOo~...

Seven dwarves went mining in her skull, tapping their little pickaxes and digging deep into Hermione's migraine. She imagined them whistling a jolly tune, making the ringing in her ears.

It felt like the worst hangover of Hermione's life. Only it wasn't a hangover.

Hermione tried blinking. It hurt, but she managed a small flutter of eyelids.

"Hermione..." the voice said.

It sounded oddly familiar. Forcing her eyes open into squints, she saw a blob of lovely black hair and grey eyes.

"Sirius..." Hermione croaked.

"I'm afraid not," the voice said dryly, but it sounded like Sirius nonetheless. "Go back to sleep. You need your rest."

"But, Sirius..."

"Sleep."

And, as if his command was a spell, she obeyed.

...~oOo~...

"How are you feeling?"

"James and Lily..."

Madam Pomfrey sighed sadly. "How are you feeling, Hermione?" she pressed.

"Like I could die," Hermione answered honestly.

"Well, you nearly did."

"How, though?" Hermione asked, leaning back further into the infirmary cot. She was dressed in a light cotton hospital gown. She had no memory of being changed or of being moved to Hogwarts.

"I think that's better for the Headmaster to explain," Madam Pomfrey said, making notes furiously on her parchment.

"For weeks... my magic was... It was like before I went to Hogwarts," Hermione rasped. "I couldn't control it. But weird things would happen, like turning Remus's hair blue, or making the tea kettle explode."

"And then you got sick," Madam Pomfrey said matter-of-factly.

"Precisely. Why was I bleeding... you know, before? I saw blood before I fainted."

"Nosebleed."

"I've never had a nosebleed in my life."

"Well, apparently it's not too late to start," Madam Pomfrey said.

"When can I talk to Dumbledore?"

"He'll be here to talk to you after he returns from the Ministry."

Hermione's brow furrowed. "Why is he at the Ministry?"

Madam Pomfrey sniffed. "That's the Headmaster's business."

There was a long pause before Hermione asked, oh so hesitantly, "How long have I been asleep?"

Another pause. "Nine days, dear."

Hermione groaned. "No... no, no!" She started sitting up and pushing off her sheets, even though everything inside of her ached. "I've got to find Sirius! He's going to go after Pettigrew and -"

Madam Pomfrey took on a mournful expression and Hermione was horrified, knowing what was coming next.

"Hermione, I'm sorry to tell you this, but... Mr. Pettigrew is dead. And Mr. Black has been put in Azkaban."

The worst of all feeling roiled in her stomach and she turned away from the mediwitch and to the bin at her bedside, and threw up. Only there was nothing in her stomach, so she spent minutes hacking up stomach acid and potions.

Hermione groaned, shoving back her hair and sitting up again. "Dumbledore," she murmured, absolutely spent. "I have to speak to Dumbledore."

Ignoring Poppy's protests, Hermione shoved herself from the bed and moved as fast as she could towards Dumbledore's office. She was running sloppily, but Poppy was an older woman and couldn't put much effort into going after her.

The stone floors were cold against Hermione's feet, and the castle was always so drafty. By the time she got to the statue hiding the entrance to the Headmaster's office, she was covered in goosebumps and shivering.

"Dumbledore!" she called out desperately, unsure of the password. "I need to speak to you!"

It took a moment, but the statue made way and Hermione hurriedly climbed the stairs and didn't bother to knock before throwing open the door.

"Dumbledore, I..." Hermione froze, staring at the back of the person standing in front of the desk. "Sirius," she breathed.

"I told you before," the figure said, sounding irritated. "I'm not Sirius." And when he turned around, Hermione nearly fainted.

"Regulus," Hermione whispered. "What... are... Aren't you...?"

"Dead?" Regulus finished for her. "So the world would think. But I assure you, I've very much alive."

"But... but... how!" Hermione's eyes were the size of planets as she flicked her gaze between Dumbledore and the dead boy rapidly. "The book said you were dead!"

"Ah, yes, that blasted book," Regulus growled, moving to sit in an arm chair next to the fireplace. "It's become the bane of my existence."

Suddenly feeling very faint, Hermione leaned against the nearest wall and closed her eyes for a moment. "The book was destroyed! You said you'd destroy it and... I need to know what happened," Hermione demanded, her voice rough and desperate. "Please. I need to know now."

"Take a seat, Hermione," Dumbledore said soothingly. "And I'll summon some tea. You look like you could benefit from a cup."

A tray of tea things appeared on the desk, steam rising from the pot. With a wave of Dumbledore's hand, the pot began floating and pouring the cups, adding the perfect amount of tea and sugar to each. The cups floated to each person and Hermione wrapped her thing fingers around the warm ceramic, grateful for the warmth.

"I'm afraid I broke our promise," Dumbledore started by saying.

"You didn't destroy the book?" Hermione said slowly, her mind slowly processing the meaning of such a betrayal.

"I was... extremely curious," Dumbledore said, running his long, wrinkled index finger along the bottom of his lips, deep in thought. "You handed me a map to the future and I'm afraid I couldn't resist. And upon opening it, I realized immediately that there was no erasing what I'd done. I began to consider if perhaps... I was supposed to read it. In order to preserve what was to come."

Slowly shaking her head, a shiver running through her, Hermione said, "You could have changed everything. You could have saved them all. You had the power to do so."

"I'm afraid that's not true," Dumbledore said with a frown. "After you disappeared with the use of the Time Key - before we knew it as a failure - I spent a year researching time travel further." He leaned forward, his glittering blue eyes meeting Hermione's intensely. "When I first told you that you could not change the future, not even I understand just how true that was.

"Tell me, Hermione," Dumbledore went on, sitting back in his chair. "When did you make the conscious decision that you were going to change James and Lily's fates."

Hermione swallowed and answered, "Fabian and Gideon's funeral."

The old man nodded slowly. "And when did you start getting ill?"

Hermione thought back. When exactly did her magic start acting out? When did the cold latch onto her? When did she first feel her sanity fracturing?

"Oh my God," Hermione uttered. "Just after Fabian and Gideon's funeral."

Dumbledore nodded as if he'd already know this. "Precisely. There is a fail-safe in time travel - a trick of the universe, if you may. Any attempts at changing the timeline will result in the traveler's destruction. Not just death, my dear. You will have turned into a cloud of dust, had James and Lily survived."

Blinking, Hermione swallowed and shook her head. "But I must have changed something in this timeline by just being here."

"You were always supposed to be here, Hermione. It was part of your history long before you broke that Time-Turner."

Rubbing at her temples, Hermione tried to put all of this together without bursting into tears. "Okay, okay. But what does Regulus have to do with this? The book said he'd died. Sirius knew his brother to be dead."

"I became perplexed by Regulus's supposed death records. He went missing and was then pronounced dead. The Ministry used the disappearance of his magic as evidence that Regulus was gone. But I wasn't as sure.

"I paid Slughorn a visit, borrowed a gift Regulus gave him from his Slug Club days, and used it to track Regulus. I found him half dead in the Blacks' basement. Walburga left the house shortly after her husband died and Kreacher was trying to nurse Regulus back to health in the safety of the abandoned manor.

"He explained to me what had happened and told him what he'd discovered. Regulus was half in a coma after the cave and Kreacher did his best to destroy the artifact, but did not succeed. And the house, sentient as it is, seems to have hidden it. But that is another story altogether.

"In exchange for his protection from the Dark Lord, Regulus became my eyes and ears for when I am not around. He protects the history written in the book... and protects you."

It all pieced together. Hermione looked across to the room where Regulus sat by the fire, wearing all black.

"You stopped me from saving James and Lily," Hermione said numbly. "And you've been... protecting me. And yet I haven't seen you. Polyjuice? An Invisibility Cloak? Or... perhaps..." Hermione gasped. "You're an Animagus, aren't you?" She stood up as the blood surged through her as the last piece of the puzzle fell into place. "You came from the trees when you tackled me - the crows! Always a crow, somewhere! Outside my window I'd hear that ghastly cawing and all along it was you!"

"Very good," Regulus said cynically. "Ten points to Gryffindor."

"You've always been around," Hermione said, shaking her head slowly. "Always watching me."

"I had to," Regulus said. "To make sure you didn't mess anything up and get yourself killed by trying to be the hero."

Hermione felt like she was going to be sick again. To try and calm her nerves, she raised her cup of tea to her mouth and sipped it. But it did nothing. In a moment of blinding fury, she pitched her teacup into the fireplace, watching as it exploded.

There was silence following her outburst. Hermione was shaking violently.

James and Lily were dead. Harry was orphaned. Sirius was in jail. Peter was still at large. Regulus was alive. Remus was all alone. Alice and Frank were likely being tortured to insanity as they spoke.

"What's happening out there?" Hermione asked, her voice hoarse. She began pacing up and down the thick, colorful rug.

"Parties," Dumbledore said. "Trials. Incarcerations. Hunts."

"Hunts?" Hermione asked.

"Rookwood is missing. Sirius was captured already. And now... they're looking for you."

Hermione stopped in her tracks. "I don't follow. Why are the Aurors looking for me?"

"During Sirius's arrest, he went mad. Started screaming that they shook find you, that you would have the answers. Just that, over and over, 'Hermione will have the answers'," Dumbledore explained. "They did a little investigating, questioned Remus about you. They believe you to be either an accomplice of Sirius's or dead. And we need to hide you long enough that they pronounce you to be the latter."

Gnawing at her lip as the tears started welling up, Hermione said, "So... what? You stow me away like Regulus? Fake my death and break my wand to eliminate all evidence of my magic?"

"It's to keep you safe," the headmaster told her.

All of the images flitted across her mind of Sirius's wanted posters, the pictures of his original arrest, his years in Azkaban. Crossing her arms, Hermione's fingernails dug into her ribs while she tried to breathe through the overwhelming panic.

"You can't keep me here," Hermione said. "You can't hide me. I have rights."

"No, you don't," Regulus snarled abruptly, standing and spinning towards her. "If you were to be found by the Ministry, they'd pick your brain and find out your secret. You'd be thrown in Azkaban for tampering with time, but not before the Unspeakables rooted through your mind until your thoughts became nothing more than pudding. The only reason we're hiding you is to preserve the future - but the fact of the matter is, this isn't a choice. This is an informal arrest."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Hermione growled, her hair giving off blue sparks as the rage built inside her. "What does he mean, Dumbledore?"

Dumbledore looked very sad. "Regulus is right. The Ministry can't punish you, but we must. You broke my trust, Hermione."

"You broke mine!" Hermione half-screamed.

"You could have killed yourself and so many more by changing the future, Hermione," Dumbledore said. "I can't risk that again. You will be kept here until your other self breaks the Time-Turner and your journey begins again."

"Here... as in Hogwarts?" Hermione said, eyes wide. "But my other self will be coming to this school! You can't just lock me up somewhere - I could be discovered!"

"You'll be kept somewhere that no student will ever venture and be watched closely by one of our own. A recently attained ally," Dumbledore told her.

_Recently attained ally_. Why did that not set well with Hermione?

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Where will Hermione be kept at Hogwarts? Though, I imagine it's pretty obvious. 3. How will Hermione spend her house arrest?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	45. Imprisonment

A/N. The email alert delivery has been off - SO MAKE SURE YOU READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER BEFORE STARTING THIS ONE. There is a possibility that they skipped alerting everyone about the last chapter altogether and just continued on to alerting about this one.

MOVING ON TO HERMIONE'S TAIL.

Alright, so obviously there is a LOT of time between Hermione's "incarceration at Hogwarts" and Other Hermione's arrival at Hogwarts... So I will write about important happenings during this lapse of time, but I won't make you read through every boring detail of Hermione's over-reading and aging.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU MOMS OUT THERE! This is my first Mother's Day and I've received breakfast in bed with the baby and later we'll be going out for dinner. First time Remus will be in a restaurant, so that should be interesting!

...~oOo~...

Chapter Forty-Five: Imprisonment

"It's simple," Severus Snape said in his deep baritone, his voice rumbling in his chest. "If you discover a way to step through this door without my permission and without being blown backwards, Dumbledore, Minerva, Regulus, and I will all be alerted to your escape. And you will be in an astronomical amount of trouble."

Eyes puffy and red from hours of crying, Hermione stared at Severus from the sofa chair while he explained the ramifications of breaking through the wards specifically designed to keep her in.

She needed a jailer. Dumbledore believed her too intelligent to lock up alone, so the further her punishment, locking her up with Severus seemed to be the winning idea. Regulus had come up with it, according to Severus. Which made Regulus a common enemy between them.

It was obvious that Severus expected this to be a punishment to himself as well. For his days as a Death Eater, he now had to guard and live with an annoying, frizzy-haired Gryffindor prisoner.

Hermione just stared at him, her eyes dead and her face as sallow as his.

"I won't escape," she rasped.

"I believe you," Severus said.

"You do?" Hermione's brow was raised.

"You Gryffindors are too bloody honorable to even try," Severus said with a sneer. "You're probably reveling in your own martyrdom."

Without a word, Hermione turned away from him and focused on the fireplace. Her legs were curled under her and her arms wrapped around her own stomach.

"Still lamenting over your homicidal boyfriend?" Severus grumbled.

There was a long pause before Hermione said, "You know about me now, right? About my... situation?"

Severus's blood boiled. Of course he knew about her situation. "Yes," he seethed. "I know about your little tumble through time."

"Then you should know that what I'm about to say has nothing to do with loyalty or heart, but with concrete knowledge," she said lowly. "Sirius Black did not kill those people."

"Then who did?" he snapped.

"Peter Pettigrew," Hermione said, her voice so cold that it gave Severus a chill.

"You aren't supposed to be telling me this," he said scathingly. "Dumbledore gave you orders to keep the future to yourself."

"In case you haven't noticed," Hermione said, "you and I are going to be roommates for a long time. We'll need something to talk about eventually. But I'll stop speaking. Just... let me know when you want to hear my story in full." She stood from the armchair and only glanced over her shoulder at Severus once before saying, "I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

Severus simply watched as Hermione's tiny figure disappeared into her designated room.

According the Dumbledore, Hermione would be under watch for more than a decade. Severus sighed and scowled. It was going to be a painfully long decade.

...~oOo~...

A month later, Remus was evicted from the Den. He couldn't pay the rent and the landlord wouldn't tolerate a werewolf living there alone to boot.

Everywhere Remus looked he was reminded of just how completely his world, his family, had fallen apart over the course of twenty-four hours. Sirius's posters still littered the streets, along with Hermione's - a poster with her name, age, and description because they had no picture and Remus wouldn't sacrifice his own. He kept the pictures of his friends and roommates tucked into his coat at all times.

Remus was spending the last of his money on the room at the inn he was staying at. It was drafty and had a leaky faucet, but a warm bed and running water. His last resort was going to his father's, but he was in France and Remus would first need to send a letter asking for the money to take the trip - something he was too proud to do.

So Remus instead decided to scrape by. He and Dandy were roommates now, and he was grateful for the companion... even if she did hate him. But according to Hermione, she hated everyone except Sirius.

The memory of Sirius and Hermione pierced deep and he tried not to start crying his eyes out as he sat on the tube platform in Muggle London, waiting for the next train. He'd resorted to hunting for Muggle jobs. They didn't need his paperwork, they didn't need to know he was a werewolf, and he didn't need to know he was friends with a mass murderer.

Dandy was sitting in his lap, sleeping. It was the only time that the half-kneazle didn't prefer using his chest as a scratching post. Remus gently stroked her back while she purred as she napped.

Remus closed his eyes. Hermione. Hermione would have known all this happened. Or maybe she wanted all of this to happen. Maybe she was like Sirius - a traitor from the very beginning.

It all made sense to him in a sick, twisted way.

But if they worked together as Death Eaters... why had Sirius killed Hermione? That's what Remus believed happened. She must have been one of Sirius's casualties when he killed Peter. They only found Peter's finger - maybe there was nothing to find of Hermione. Maybe Sirius's treachery knew no bounds and he eliminated Hermione as well.

Remus didn't know which upset him more. Hermione being a traitor or Hermione being dead.

And Peter. Poor, poor Peter. Always so meek and frightened. To meet such a terrible end at the hands of someone he trusted and idolized must have been...

Remus could barely breathe as he imagined it.

And now he was alone. Completely, utterly alone.

A part of him wished Dumbledore had considered him as Harry's caretaker - but that was obviously ridiculous. He couldn't take care of a baby, he could barely take care of a cat. But even being able to see Harry, Remus thought, could make things slightly better.

Remus looked down at the scrap of parchment in his hand. An address to an office building. He was being interviewed for the job titled of "janitor". Rubbing his eyes, Remus wished he'd been better to Filch in school, for now he was destined to the same fate. Magic-less cleaner.

His years at Hogwarts were the best of his life, but now supplied the most painful memories. The Marauders were no more and their greatest feats and pranks would go down in history, for sure. But Remus was so hurt by their end, Remus was almost grateful that the Marauders' Map mysteriously went missing from the flat.

...~oOo~...

"Hand it here."

"No. I'm not ready."

"It's parchment, Hermione."

"It's so much more than that, Severus. Please, let me have more time to say goodbye."

Severus's face was like thunder. "You said it belongs in Filch's office, did you not? I am not going to pretend like I know what it is or what it does, but if you don't put it back where it belongs before it is needed, you risk destroying yourself once more. And I Dumbledore will be less than pleased if my ward spontaneously incinerates herself by changing the future. Now." He held out his hand imperiously. "Give me the parchment."

Hermione looked down at the Marauders' Map. She regretted telling Severus about how she'd found it in Filch's office, but he'd pestered her endlessly about how she stared remotely down at blank paper. She needed to explain a little about its sentiment. And how he was dictating that it should be put back.

"Don't give me that look of defiance, Hermione," he said stiffly. "It's not as if you can fight me for it. You have no wand and I am twice your size. For once in your life, choose your battles wisely and recognize when your opponent is out of your league."

With a defeated sigh, Hermione handed the Map to Severus slowly. Once it was in his palm, his spidery fingers closed around it and he marched out of the chambers to put it back where it belonged.

Hermione did the math in her head. In only eight years, Fred and George would be nabbing the Map from Filch's office again.

Eight years until the Weasley twins arrived. Sixteen years until she was allowed out of Hogwarts on her own terms.

It might not be the same, but Hermione was starting to understand Sirius... And that only made her even more miserable.

Twelve years until Sirius's escape. And until then... she had some reading to do.

...~oOo~...

He counted his steps. Up and down his cell, over and over, Sirius Black paced. He never responded to the guards, or the Dementors, even though he knew they were there. If he pressed himself against the bars and closed his eyes, he could just barely hear the whispers of other prisoners. Prisoners he was locked away from.

Prison within a prison.

Solitary confinement.

When the guards came around to give him his supper, he heard them talk about him. About what the papers were saying about him. About other Death Eaters being hunted.

It took weeks for him to find the courage and go up to the bars before they left and asked, "Hermione... have they found her?"

The guard, looking cross and no-nonsense demanded, "What Hermione?"

Sirius's eyes popped open wide. He'd seen her name spattered across the papers with her description. They were looking for her. "Hermione... Granger," he rasped, taking deep breaths. "The Aurors are looking for her..."

The guard sneered. "I don't know what you're goin' on about, but I haven't heard of no Hermione Granger." And he marched away, deeper into the prison.

Bewildered and gasping, Sirius ran to his little pile of ripped-out articles in the corner. He shuffled through them, trying to find the right dates.

Sirius gasped. The articles that had once been offering a bounty of Hermione's head were blank. Plain parchment.

"No... no, no, no!" Sirius hissed, his voice getting louder with each word. Raking his hands back through his hair, his nails scraping his scalp painfully, Sirius dropped back against the grimy stone wall.

How many days had passed? Weeks? Sirius interrogated him internally. Asked himself his named, his family tree, specific dates. He seemed to know it all.

He remembered the day he met Hermione. The day he first kissed her. The day he told her he loved her. Every moment they spent with each other was etched clearly in his mind, even clearer than anything else.

But why was her name suddenly missing from every article about him? Why were the articles about her suddenly blank?

Was Hermione dead? Was she still missing?

Was the Ministry covering something up? Did they mass Obliviate? Did they send out bribes? Was her name cleared as well as any documentation of her?

Then the most terrible, creeping sensation draped itself around Sirius's body, being, and mind.

Was there every a Hermione to begin with?

Sirius Black's descent into madness began.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. How will living with Severus go for Hermione, you think? 3. Who do you feel the worst for at this point? Sirius, Hermione, Remus, or Harry?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	46. Fungi & Chamomile

A/N. Alrighty, guys, here we go again! I know, it's like last summer again - an update almost every day. I'm sorry to say this, but it'd be best if you not get used to this because I may have lots of free time this week, but next week this might not be so.

Here's something I haven't done in a while. DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter. I DO own Remus, but that's only because I was psycho enough to name my spawn that... so, no not Remus Lupin, but it's something I suppose.

NOTE: This chapter is very un-edited. Please excuse any mistakes until I get around to fixing it.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Forty-Six: Fungi and Chamomile

Only nine months had passed and Hermione was convinced she was going to either die in confinement or lose her mind. She'd already read her way through Severus's entire private library and started pestering Severus to go to the library to fetch her reading material. Once she was done with the stack he brought her, she'd want to cross-reference another text that she didn't have and he'd huff and puff about how he wasn't her lackey and about how he was too intelligent for gopher work.

"Then let me out and I'll go to the library myself!" Hermione would snap, waving her hands in frustration.

"You know damn well I can't do that," he'd hiss back.

"Then get me my bloody book!" And Hermione would march up to him like she wasn't the prisoner and was in charge. Her fear of Severus faded long ago and their last months in such close proximity only made him even less intimidating. It was hard to fear someone when you've seen them in their striped, monogrammed jammies.

And, usually, Severus would indeed get her bloody book.

At the close of the first school year Hermione spent imprisoned at Hogwarts, Hermione was waiting for any signal from Severus that he'd be leaving for the summer. But he revealed nothing, gave no clues, spoke nothing of it. After the leaving ceremony, Severus sat at his desk in his office, connected to his chambers by only a door, grading finals and growling to himself. The door was cracked and Hermione stood by it, listening and waiting and desperate to have eyes on another human being even if she was spying and if said human being was surly and cold.

Finally, with a deep breath, Hermione got the courage the knock lightly and step through. He did nothing to acknowledge her entrance, just continued to scrape his quill across essays, dousing their insufficient words in red ink.

"Severus..." Hermione said, walking around his desk and leaning against it right next to him, closer than she knew he would prefer. Still he didn't lift his head. "We haven't discussed any arrangements for the summer."

He turned slowly, raising that sardonic brow, giving her the kind of look that would leave her shaking in her boots when she was a First Year. But this wasn't First Year, this wasn't even the same timeline, and they were roommates - both trapped, but in different ways.

"Arrangements?" he drawled, making the one words sound like an entire lecture on why she should most definitely not being bothering him.

"Yes," Hermione said. "I assume you have a home elsewhere that you'll need to visit. I was just curious if I would be here alone or if someone else would be charged with babysitting me."

"I will be gone for a week exactly, Hermione. The last week of this month. During which I heard Dumbledore talking about perhaps sending you to stay in Hagrid's hut."

Hermione gasped. She couldn't help but immediately feel giddy. Outside! She would have the chance to be outside, for even the little bit of time it took to walk across the grounds to Hagrid's Hut.

Hermione's sudden obsession with the outdoors drove Severus mad, because it meant she would open all the windows and curtains at every hour, every season. Not only was the light annoying and ruin his quiet, dark solitude, but from fall to the start of spring it was absolutely freezing in his chambers.

One night, it was Christmas, he was woken by a sharp breeze that crept under his door and he marched out only to find Hermione sitting in the window, looking out at the sky with a sad look on her face. Without a word he'd slammed the window shut, cast a spell on it to keep it shut, and went back to bed. And the next morning when he found she'd knitted him a jumper with matching socks and a cap, he felt so guilty that he reversed the spell in the window that night.

And the look of absolutely joy on her face at the prospect of spending seven days in that half-giant's grimy, claustrophobic hut tugged at his guilt once more. He stifled it, knowing better than to grow a soft spot for his ward, and straightened his shoulders.

"I do miss Hagrid," Hermione said, trying to compose herself and failing. "A week you say?" Her eyes were far too large and innocent to be construed as normal curiosity.

"Yes," Severus said with a sneer. "And not a day longer, so don't get your hopes up that. My vacation will not be extended, not so yours can be as well. Now go away. I've got papers to grade."

Unable to get rid of her smile, she looked over his shoulder at the lengths of parchment. "Would you like help?"

Severus snorted. "Not likely."

"I am quite adept at potions, you know." Hermione lifted one of the parchments to scan its introduction.

"I am sure you are perfectly passable, but these are final papers. I will not have some slack-jawed Gryffindor get off easy because I let you give them a better grade than they deserve." Ripping the parchment from Hermione's hand, Severus pointed dictactorially at the door. "Out."

With a sigh, Hermione turned to leave. "We're going to be together for a long time," Hermione said, something she like to remind him of often because it never failed to set his teeth on edge. "One day, you'll accept my help," she added with perfect confidence.

"And it will be a cold day in Hell, Hermione. A _very_ cold day," was the last thing he said before he heard her taunting chuckle as she shut the door behind her.

...

Severus took a deep breath before the door to his chambers. The visit with his parents left much to be desired. He'd only spent the first two days in their less than welcoming company and for three days he stayed at an inn, visiting apothecaries during the day and the last two days he was camping and scavenging for rare potion ingrediants he heard rumor of growing nearby.

And a weird part of him was grateful to be back at Hogwarts. He hated his parents, he hated inns, and he hated camping. He barely liked Hogwarts, but at least that was something.

But when Severus opened the door to his rooms, he had most definitely not been expecting to find Hermione... gardening.

Severus stared. For a long time, he stared, trying to make sense of... anything. Hermione didn't notice his arrival, she was too busy muttering to herself and taking notes as she tried to grab the leaves of an ivy plant that kept moving and slapping her away. Once she got hold, she made a small victorious sound, and plucked it off, much to the ivy's dismay. It slithered away from her after that, curling around other pots.

Finally, Severus settled on anger. Anger was a good reaction.

"Why are my chambers suddenly a greenhouse?"

Hermione gave a small jump and turned. Her smile grew wide. "Severus! Welcome home!"

"Answer. The. Question."

"Oh, this?" Hermione looked at her garden that surrounded her favorite window. The window which was open, letting in the summer humidity and heat. She was dressed in a camisole and ratty shorts, both with dirt smudges from where she wiped her hands. "Well, Hagrid gave me the nicest little project during my stay with him. I don't know why I hadn't thought of a window box before."

"Window box?" he said, his sharp tone colored with disbelief. "That isn't a bloody window box, it's a field!"

Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes. "It's a table and a window sill pushed together. I promise it won't get any larger. You have your workspace and now I have mine."

"It's in the living area!"

"There isn't a window in my bedroom," Hermione explained, moving on to ignoring him and going back to her notes.

Severus examined her "work space". On either end of the table there were posts, which the ivy climbed up. Sitting in the window in side-by-side pots were about five different magical flora. The pots on the table had various herbs, two different types of ivy, and what looked to be a fungus.

Severus didn't understand why, of all women he had to be stuck living with, that he was saddled with the one who would rather take care of and observe the growing phases of fungi than fucking lilies.

"Welcome home, indeed," he grumbled to himself, dropping his trunk by the door carelessly and stalking toward his office.

With a smile, Hermione called after him, "I'll put on some tea!"

...~oOo~...

"Do you have any bergamot in that blasted garden of yours?" Severus demanded in the midst of November. He sat in his armchair in the living space with a mug of chamomile tea. It was always chamomile tea.

Hermione was on the floor, beside the fire, with one of her many potted plants neck and neck with the fire. Apparently, this breed of _Antirrhinum_ flourished in extreme heat. There was a thermometer stuck in its soil, the red reaching higher and higher every passing minute.

"No, why?"

"I haven't had a cup of Earl Grey tea in months," he said darkly. "Always chamomile."

"I rather like chamomile," Hermione said, sitting Indian style with her hair pinned up. He could she the rivulets of sweat drip down her jaw and dampen her curls, making them frizz like mad. "It's very good for you, too. Especially if you have a temper." She slid him a distinct look before returning to her plant.

"But if you want Earl Grey so badly," Hermione went on, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand, "just order some from the kitchens or buy it from a shop."

"I've grown rather fond of fresh tea." He paused before continuing, "You're going to catch fire, you know."

"I won't," she answered.

"Or dehydrate yourself."

Hermione held up her flask of water pointedly.

"What's so special about that stupid plant anyway?" Severus asked, reluctant to give into her curiosity. He knew that one question would send Hermione off for an hour at least. And he really did try not to sound petulant.

"It's fascinating, really," she said, which is how she started most of her herbology rants. "Hagrid found it in the Forbidden Forest, not far from the centaur colony. It was lucky he got a sample when he did because not long after he discovered how important it was to centaur ceremony. It's what they called a Battle Flower because they'd carry a collection of its leaves when they went to war because of its powerful burn healing properties. More so than that, its flower petals can be ground up and added to water, and when drunk can sooth the worst of fevers. In the right potion it can be the antidote to certain poisons, the roots can sedate large beasts, and the whole of it could put out a dragon's fire breath for a week. Its uses are almost endless!"

"Interesting," Severus drawled, trying to not let on that it actually was.

"It's strange, you know," Hermione said as she stood off the ground and plucked the thermometer from the pot. She wiped it with her shirt, staining her shirt further. There was nary a piece of clothing she owned that wasn't stained. "Once upon a time, I'd be asking you about a plant and its uses as a potions ingrediant."

"Potions and Herbology share elements, but are not the same field," he said with obvious derision.

"No, but in my world, you seemed to know everything about anything," Hermione told him, retreating to her work space and put her journal in her satchel that hung on one of the posts with the ivy. The ivy that was slowly overtaking that entire wall on the side of the rooms. He'd told her to trim it a thousand times, and she had, but it grew so rapidly that keeping up seemed impossible.

"This is not your world yet, Hermione," Severus said, putting down his tea. "I am but twenty-two. Even I am not above admitting I have plenty to learn." He lifted a potions journal he ordered from Tomes & Scrolls and flipped to the first page. Faintly he heard Hermione moving around his chambers in the background. It was a few minutes before her figure came into view, standing right next to him. She was always standing so close and he had no clue why.

"Here," Hermione said, handing him a leather pouch. Hanging from the drawstring was a small strip of parchment labelling it as leaves from her Battle Flower. "For you. Do what you do best and make a potion."

"I do not know how to preserve this or handle it in a potion," Severus said, taking it from her slowly.

"I have a set of instructions," Hermione offered. "And I've done plenty of research on it."

There was a stretch of silence before Severus said through gritted teeth, "Perhaps... you'd like to... assist in the brewing process?"

Hermione blinked. "Help you... brew?"

"That is what I just said, isn't it?"

The building excitement in her eyes was obvious. "In your private lab, you mean?"

He scowled darkly. "Well you aren't exactly allowed in the classroom, now are you?"

"Thank you!" Hermione exclaimed before he was even finished speaking. "Thank you so much! I won't let you down!"

Severus sighed dejectedly. "Oh, I'm sure you will."

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What hobby will Hermione take on next? 3. What will happen when Other Hermione comes to Hogwarts?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	47. Over the Years

A/N. The emails are acting wonky again. I've sent the support team here an email, but they haven't answered. It seemed to be fixed for a short amount of time but now...URGH. I am not a patient person.

Moving on from my state of perpetual angst...

...~oOo~...

Chapter Forty-Seven: Over the Years

It became her tradition to watch all of the graduates walk out of the school in their pointed hats and gowns, yelling and celebrating, throwing those silly caps and dancing, sending sparks into the sky, laughing. It was after the feast and the sky was lavender, the moon peeking out.

Every year, Severus would come up from the feast and find her hanging halfway out of her window to watch them. The first few years she'd cry. But now she just watched with that small smile on her lips.

"Hogwarts class of '89," Hermione said when she heard him enter. "There's Bill." She pointed down. Severus looked over her shoulder and found the beacon of long red hair, the Head Boy. "And next year will be Charlie."

Severus said nothing. It wasn't the time for his usual scathing wit or reprimanding. He had to let her mourn or else it'd be weeks of nothing but chamomile tea and forty-part motets playing from her bedroom.

Anyway, he had bad news that he'd need to break eventually. He might as well enjoy the silence while he could - she'd be shouting soon enough.

Looking around his chambers, he sighed. He lived in a jungle. The promise she'd made eight years before that her garden wouldn't move beyond her workspace ended up being a lie. There were potted plants everywhere - and almost none of them were attractive. Some smelt awful. Others snapped and bit.

He still had no clue why he put up with it all.

Without a word, he fetched a stack of parchment and walked up behind Hermione where she leaned out the window, over her plants. "Hufflepuff finals," he said, putting the stack down next to her.

Accepting the papers silently, Hermione looked at the top paper and a frown creased her eyebrows. "Beatrice is a graduate?" she said in awe. "Goodness, I remember when she was a First Year and you came billowing through here, snarling about how she burnt a hole through your favorite cloak."

Hermione never met any of these children. Never saw them. She only knew what Severus told her and what she read in their essays. And yet she felt she knew them all personally, like they were all students of hers as well as Severus's.

"Indeed," Severus said lowly, heading for the kettle. "Your yearbook is on the coffee table if you'd like to see her."

The tradition of yearbooks must have died along with the school paper somewhere between then and Hermione's time at Hogwarts. But for now she was grateful for them because they supplied current events and photos.

"Later," Hermione said, putting the papers aside and continuing to watch the Seventh Years' impromptu party on the grounds.

By the time the kettle whistled and Severus poured the tea, Hermione was walking reluctantly towards the sitting area with the Hufflepuff exams. She sat across the sofa, propping her feet up and leaning back against the arm. Severus levitated the tea cup into her lap.

"Will you be leaving for your customary week?" Hermione inquired, chewing the end of her quill.

"No, I'm afraid not," Severus said.

Hermione suspected as much. For the first five years of her incarceration he always left for one week in June. But the sixth year, he only left for three days, and the next year not all. The pattern died as he took shorter and shorter vacations.

"I could speak to Albus about allowing you to stay with Hagrid regardless," he offered, raising the tea to his mouth and blowing on the steam.

"No, thank you," Hermione said. "I want to spend as much time here as possible before we move to the dungeons."

Severus almost choked. He stopped himself, though, and tried not to look too surprised. "You know about that?" he said, not feeling very articulate.

Hermione nodded. "When did you plan on telling me?"

"When you weren't so melancholy."

"I'm always melancholy."

"I realize the flaw in that plan now, yes." He put his tea down. "I attempted to sway Albus's decision, but it was futile. They need these rooms for the new Defense professor. He has an infant apparently and this is one of the few rooms in the school with a spare bedroom.

"But you can continue your work on fungi, of course, and nocturnal foliage," he said.

Hermione looked mournfully at her window box - which was actually a small greenhouse. "The sun was perfect from his angle," she said softly.

"I know," Severus said. "Perhaps we can get you lamps or make a false window -"

"Many of them are too delicate for a move to the dungeons," Hermione said. "And the ones that can be moved won't survive without real sunlight. I'll leave them for Pomona to do with what she will. I'll find another hobby." She sipped her tea, her face curiously blank.

"Divination, perhaps?" Severus said, hoping to get any kind of reaction from her.

Hermione sighed, quite dramatically and slumped further into the sofa. "Might as well. I've gone round and round with Potions and Arithmancy."

"Don't degrade yourself by giving credit to Sybill's craft, if it can even be called that," he rumbled.

Hermione didn't say anything for a while. "Severus, I'm going to miss my plants."

"I know."

"A lot."

Severus nodded.

"Be honest with me," Hermione said, chewing at her bottom lip. "Is this punishment for my escape last month?"

"I don't believe so," Severus said, though he wasn't entirely sure. Her little field trip to the library in the middle of the night had made Dumbledore go red in the face. Not that it was her first attempt at getting out of the rooms undetected - her first time was during her second year when she sneaked out to have tea with Hagrid, and then the next year she went down to compare the growth of one of her plants with the same breed in Pomona's greenhouse. She never went far, never intending to leave Hogwarts grounds, but each time it was sneakier and less noticeable.

"Maybe I'll take up knitting again," Hermione mused.

Sirius looked at the godawful tea-cosy hugging the pot and his frown deepened. He also had almost ten sweaters in his closet, sweaters he only ever wore on the coldest of winter days, and they were always underneath all of his robes. The green and black afghan on the couch was slowly unraveling itself.

"Perhaps... something else," Severus said, trying not to sound too terse. Now was not the time to stress Hermione out. When Hermione became overly stressed, she had large bouts of uncontrollable magic which could lead to an exploded window, flaming drapes, or killer ivy plants.

"I hate cross-stitching," she said, deep in thought.

"Thank Merlin for small favors," Severus said under his breath.

"Oh! I know!" Hermione said, her eyes brightening. "I could start breeding kneazles!"

That was the last straw. Goodbye Sympathetic Snape."Absolutely not."

"But Severus! You know I left Dandy to be with Remus and I miss having a cat so much," Hermione said eagerly. "They're very independent and cunning, they hunt for themselves usually, and they highly intelligent. If Salazar wasn't such a bloody fiend for snakes, Slytherin's mascot would probably be a kneazle!"

"There is nothing you could possibly say to make me agree to producing half-breed felines in my chambers," he said sharply, his eyes darkening to slate black. "Put it out of your head now. Any kneazle that crosses my threshold will be promptly executed and made into violin strings."

She was pouting. She was very good at pouting, Severus noticed, with her jutting bottom lip and big chocolate eyes. Even though she was closing in on thirty, when Hermione pouted she looked exactly the same as when they first met.

"I'm so lonely, Severus," and her voice was not of the whining variety. It was the startlingly genuine, low, pleading honesty. It was in her eyes, too, so palpable. She was imploring him to understand. He did, of course. More than she knew.

"A... familiar... is not the answer," Severus said flatly. He would be fall victim to pretty eyes and a pouting mouth. He saw enough of it from his students. He would like to say he was immune, but he and Hermione shared a fate, and her feelings heavily influenced his own. Her loneliness weighed heavily on him.

"I realize your plants meant a great deal to you, and the loss of them isn't an insignificant one," Severus said. "So... maybe Dumbledore will allow you time to visit them in Pomona's greenhouse."

Hermione's shoulders sagged. "I doubt that. He's upset with me."

"Of course he is," Severus said. "You never do as you're told."

...~oOo~...

Thirty-five...thirty-six...thirty-seven...

Sweat poured down Sirius Black's face and matted his hair as he internally counted his push-ups. He needed to do something. Too many of his days were spent sitting in the corner talking to the ghosts of his friends and the girl he wasn't sure he made up or not.

Thirty-eight...thirty-nine...forty...

He kept going, the same up and down motion. He remembered when he used to start the day with push-ups and Hermione would watch from their bed, smiling broadly, giggling, and counting with him. She was his personal cheerleader. When he was feeling especially cocky, he'd do five on one hand and she'd applaud.

Forty-one...forty-two...forty-three...

Just keep going, he told himself. It's something. He could practically she her, naked and draped in their sheets, looking at him like he was the sun, moon, and stars. Such pretty eyes and such wild hair, made frizzy from dragging his hands through it. It wasn't soft or silky, but it always sprung up into their corkscrews after he separated each and every individual curl. Her skin was so smooth, no bumps and only a few scars, spattered with random freckles that he loved to discover.

Sirius couldn't hold himself up any longer. He collapsed to the found on forty-five and started to cry.

...~oOo~...

Baking. Who would have imagined Hermione Granger taking up baking. She was obviously trying to make Severus fat. The plan was obvious. Plump him up until he couldn't get out of bed and then make her grand escape.

When Severus told her this theory of his she simply laughed and offered him a snickerdoodle. It was a delicious snickerdoodle.

She baked pies and had Severus deliver them to Minerva and Septima and Hooch. It was the most infuriating, embarrassing thing in the world to bring baked goods to women he didn't even like. The worst was bringing a tray of gingerbread to Filius.

"I'm done," Severus said one evening storming in through the doors in a swirl of black robes. "I will play owl no more. If you want to give cookies and pies and cakes to Hagrid or Minerva or Poppy, you can damn well Floo them and make them fetch their pastries themselves.

"As a matter of fact," he went on in his fury, grabbing at his cravat and almost choking himself in his attempt to tear it off, "I don't want to see another cookie or snack for as long as I live! You hear me, Hermione? This infernal baking needs to stop!"

"I suppose you don't want this then?" Hermione said innocently, emerging from her rooms with a cake plate. As she got closer, he saw his name on top written in green icing, wishing him a Happy Birthday. There was a single candle in the center of the cake, lit.

Severus stared at it, blankly for a moment.

"You forgot, didn't you?" Hermione said with a soft expression. "Today you're thirty, Severus."

Severus swallowed, the crease between his brows deepening. "Hmm."

"What is it?" Hermione asked, seeing the sudden puzzlement in his expression.

Severus's black eyes met hers for a moment when he confessed. "I never thought I'd live to see thirty."

Eyebrows popping up, Hermione said, "Really?"

Severus snorted softly. "I didn't think I'd live to _twenty_. I'm lucky, I suppose."

"Well," Hermione said gently with a confident smile, "I've not a doubt in my mind you'll see forty as well. Now, blow out your candle and make a wish."

Severus scowled, but did as she said. He knew his wish wouldn't come true, but knowing that it was out in the universe made him feel a little better.

...~oOo~...

Hermione was more of a Slytherin than anyone ever gave her credit for. She escaped far more often than anyone knew of. It was frighteningly simple, really. Especially with the use of James's Invisibility Cloak.

It was wrong of her to keep it after all this time. She knew that. But it was her only glimpse at freedom.

Anyway, she had a pair of twins to help.

They were always out after curfew, even as First Years, and they were always in the same part of the school. A secret nook behind a gargoyle with wide stretched wings. The unique gargoyle's eyes shifted as people passed, but never Hermione under the Cloak.

"It's just... what could it possibly be?" one of the redheads whinged, sounding hopeless.

"Maybe it's something really obvious, Fred," George said, his voice very high-pitched. "Something like... Open Sesame!"

There was a silence as they waited.

"Yeah, sure, 'open sesame', he says," Fred grumbled. Then, "Ouch! What was that for?"

"I'd like to see you come up with something better!" George hissed.

"If you hit me again, I swear -"

"Swear..." Hermione echoed, very quietly, soft enough to mistake for wind.

"Did you hear that?" Fred whispered.

"Yeah... 'swear'... What'd you say?"

"I said 'I swear'..."

"Solemn..." Hermione purred, grinning. Playing ghost was far too much fun.

"Golem? Like those monster things made of clay?"

"No, it said 'solemn'," George answered, sounding deep in thought.

"Solemn. Swear. I feel like we're getting somewhere," Fred mused. "Do you think it's a ghost?"

"Oh, oh, look that Padfoot fellow is talking to us... He says, 'How do you swear? You solemn... prats...' Interesting."

"How do we swear? In a solemn way? Solemnly?"

"Look! Look, Prongs says, 'Getting closer, mates'!"

And then Hermione smiled and pulled out her secret weapon. Tucking her lips out just enough, she blew a folded piece of parchment over their heads. It fluttered to the ground perfectly between them.

The twins yipped, giddy with excitement fighting over the scrap of parchment for a minute. Hermione cringed, hoping they didn't rip it too much, but Fred finally comandeered it and they huddled close as he read it out loud.

"'You are up to no good'," Fred said slowly. "What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?"

George grinned. "Tell us something we don't know."

With faith that the Map and the Marauders would guide them the rest of the way, Hermione swept away quietly down the corridor toward the dungeons with a huge smile on her face.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. Harry, Ron, and Hermione are almost here! What will Hermione do during their first year? 3. Hermione has the Invisibility Cloak. Will Snape or Dumbledore find out?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	48. Hidden in Plain Sight

A/N. So a lot of you have been wondering about THE BOOK. You know, the Trick? The book that started all this madness? Well, you're about to be given the answers! Well, some of them at least.

And...maybe a little glimpse at the eleven year old versions of the Golden Trio...

...~oOo~...

Chapter Forty-Eight: Hidden in Plain Sight

Hermione kept glancing at the clock. Since she no longer had a clear view of the Hogwarts main entrance anymore, she had to rely on the clocks to know when everyone was going to arrive. Her knee was jiggling anxiously and she was paler than usual. Severus had already left and her surprise visitor wasn't exactly a pleasant surprise.

"This is a bad day, Regulus," Hermione said, biting her lip and stirring her tea. It was already cold and she had taken only a sip, but she found she couldn't hold anything down. Her stomach was twisting violently. "Of all days, why today?"

"You gave me a task," Regulus said, giving her a look. "And I've completed it. The other four copies are in trusted hands, never to see the light of day. And the final copy, the one I've been hunting for five years was being hoarded by a crazy Seer lady who lived in a hovel in Nocturne Alley." He tossed the thin blue volume onto the table.

Hermione couldn't help but glare. This was all his fault.

"Come on," Regulus sighed. "Are you truly still angry with me? Hermione, we have no one's company but our own and you've spent years turning me away all because of some silly diaries."

Hermione's eyes flared. "I could not care less about my stolen journals, Regulus - it's what you did with them. I told you to leave well enough alone! I told you not to write that book!"

"It had to be written by someone!" Regulus snapped. "You weren't doing it, Dumbledore wasn't - but it had to be! And its not like Dumbledore ever let me see the real thing. So I nabbed your journals and wrote a book, sue me."

"If that book was never written," Hermione said, her eyes narrow, "then none of this would have ever happened."

"Yes, and you would have destroyed yourself," Regulus said snarkily. "A lovely ending to an already awful story." He leaned forward. "Hermione, I was always going to write that book. When you mentioned that the Order members on the list of the dead in the book were marked by black stars, I knew. My name is Regulus, my brother is Sirius. Our last name is Black. We are Blacks named after stars. It was pretty bloody obvious - I am terribly conceited after all."

Dragging her hands down her face, Hermione huffed, "We can go 'round and 'round with this, Regulus. But I asked you to forget about the book - save those lives lost in the printing house fire - and you didn't listen. This conversation is over."

"What am I supposed to do with this copy?" he asked, gesturing at his book.

"Exactly as I said," Hermione said, standing up. "Burn it."

"But you'll need it to plant the Time-Turner in when the Other You goes back in time," he pointed out.

Hermione was shaking her head. "No. I refused to put her through that."

"You need to!" Regulus shot up out of his chair. "Otherwise you'll turn to dust."

"Perhaps its better that way," she answered, picking up the book and walking towards the fireplace.

With every step to the fireplace, it felt like slow motion, and she began to cough. The cough came so abruptly and violently that she dropped the book and braced her hands on her knees. Hunched over, she let the coughing fade.

The book at her feet was gone.

Hermione turned to find Regulus tucking it into his coat. "I told you. You'll cease to exist if you try to change your future. I'll keep this safe until you need it." In less than a blink, Regulus transformed into his crow and soared through the office door and towards the potions classroom to escape.

Hermione was very jealous, watching the Animagus fly. She'd started the process herself, began the research and such, until Dumbledore found out and put an abrupt end to it. See, most wards did not work on animals - this was to prevent frying unsuspecting familiars. So being an Animagus was a sure way to get out and get about. Hermione knew this of course. It was her plan.

But no. Dumbledore knew everything. He took her books on Animagi and hid them away.

She didn't dwell on this. She'd had her time to resent that episode years ago. Today was too important to be petty.

Severus was gone. The Sorting Ceremony would start soon and he was needed in the Great Hall – something he hated doing every year. He said that every year there were more and more Gryffindors, which wasn't at all true, but he'd grouse about it nonetheless.

Swathing herself in the Invisibility Cloak, Hermione walked out of their chambers, ducking out and looking left and right for anyone who might see the doors mysteriously open and close on their own. It wasn't unusual for Hogwarts, but she doubted Severus would appreciate it if anyone reported strange activity going on with his rooms. Not to mention the trouble Hermione would be in for escaping.

She walked swiftly towards to her favorite tower. Passing the abandoned classroom, she went to the very top to look down on the Black Lake. Her heart stuttered a little when she saw all of the First Years crossing the lake on the boats, Hagrid ahead of all of them with a lantern to guide them. They looked like little spots, all of them. Closing her eyes, she tried to remember where in the mini-fleet her boat had been, but she could not remember.

Once she saw the boats making it to shore, Hermione ran as fast as she could back down the tower and towards the Great Hall. She wanted to see all of their faces when they entered for the first time. Hermione remembered the first time she witnessed the bewitched ceiling firsthand. She'd acted blasé, like she was used to such amazing things, but on the inside her heart was playing hopscotch. It was one of the best feelings in the world, she remembered, because it solidified the realization that this would be her school and she belonged there.

Sometimes she still didn't even really believe it.

Hermione was careful to time it perfectly she slid into the Great Hall when McGonagall had walked out to greet the students. She might have created a breeze with her movements because Minerva seemed to twitch curiously only for a split second before moving on.

The rest of the students, Second Years and on, were already seated, having taken the Thestral carriages which tended to be quicker. They were chattering quite loudly, excited to be at Hogwarts and sharing their summer adventures. Severus looked about as pleased as a gremlin to be sitting at the head table up on the dais. When she saw Quirrell, she scowled. Hermione had tried to warn Severus, but he seemed to have a sixth sense whenever she tried to tell him something about the future – and he always cut her off and told her to keep it to herself or else he'd have her tongue as a potion ingredient.

Wanting a good vantage point to see all the First Years enter, Hermione walked up behind the head table and stood behind Severus. If he knew she was there, he gave no indication, but Hermione suspected that he knew about her little field trips. He only ever scolded her when she was caught and it seemed that as long as she kept her secret escapes to once a month and came back, he never acted any differently. As an experiment, she tried escaping a few nights in a row, just to see how he reacted. The third morning, Severus was especially surly and make a very pointed, stressed comment about "students" and their "curfew". The message was clear. Keep her trips to a minimum.

And it was no secret that today was the day that the Other Hermione, Young Miss Granger, was going to arrive at Hogwarts. She had to see herself. She simply had to.

The doors to the Great Hall swung open with that small creaking noise and they walked in.

Hermione locked in on her younger self immediately. Big, frizzy hair, big front teeth like a beaver, and a very tiny body. But she walked like she owned the place, chin up, and what was supposed to be a mature expression. Hermione realized now that Ron was right – she looked like a snobby, frumpy know-it-all.

Thinking of Ron and Harry…

Hermione had to bite down on her fist to stifle her giggle. Oh, Ron! All red hair, cut by his mum, splattered freckles, and awkward limbs. And Harry, his hair was everywhere! But even from so far away, she saw his bright green eyes. A swell of nostalgia, pride, and sorrow rose inside her and suddenly she couldn't control the tears running over her cheeks.

And she wanted a hug. It'd been ten years since she had a hug.

It wasn't like Severus or Regulus were the cuddly type.

Hermione watched each First Year get Sorted. It was something to behold, seeing a tiny version of herself climb onto that stool, shaking like a leaf and trying not to show it, and wait for the hat's answer. Even though she knew exactly what would happen, Hermione still held her breath as her younger self did the same, until the decisive announcement: "Gryffindor!"

Oddly enough, Hermione felt like a proud parent, watching the Other her waltz over to the Gryffindor table. Severus looked beyond irritated. She'd bake him some pie to make up for her Gryffindorness the next day.

Once they started eating, Hermione took her leave. She'd seen everything she wanted to. Knowing it was the only time she'd get away with it, Hermione pressed a kiss through the Cloak on Severus's head. He, wearing his perpetually expressionless mask, gave no reaction – but she knew he felt it.

Though was her guard, her jailer, Hermione adored Severus very much. He was her last friend and she treasured his company. Every experiment in his lab, every night that they drank tea together and read in silence, meant everything to Hermione.

Severus never showed physical affection. He barely showed affection at all.

Ron and Harry had been a very huggable pair, as were the Marauders, so it was new for Hermione to have a best friend who didn't want to be cuddled every now and then.

At least she got her secret kiss. Feeling satisfied with her evening, Hermione retreated back to her personal prison.

…~oOo~…

Severus was furious and Hermione knew why before he even walked through the door. He slammed the door shut, swore loudly to himself, and stomped straight to his room, not even bothering to say hello to Hermione. She put on tea regardless, knowing she'd be listening to another of his rants.

"Potter, as foolhardy and smug as his father," Severus growled, exiting his room, tearing off his robes and striding through the living area straight to the fire. He chucked the robes into the flames. He kicked off his dragon-hide boots next to his chair, leaving them there with his socks.

"I could have mended that, you know," Hermione said, pouring him a cup of chamomile. He definitely needed it.

"Thinks he's king of the ruddy school because he's the youngest Seeker of the century," Severus said venomously, ripping at his cravat.

Hermione knew better than to offer him any help with his ridiculous undressing process. He stood in black trousers, the black long-sleeved vest, the Oxford shirt under that, and barefoot. His hair was in disarray, probably from sitting in the Quidditch stands.

"Tea," she said, putting it on the coffee table in front of his chair. "I'll get you a cupcake."

"I do not want one of your bloody cupcakes, woman!" he snarled. "I want Potter to be shackled in the dungeon for the next seven years! I want him to be someone else's problem! And I want his friends – both of them – but fall off the face of his miserable earth!"

Hermione couldn't help but smirking. "I apologize."

"No, you're not allowed forgiveness, because you're very nearly worse," Severus said. "Yes, that's right – you. Or the Other you, rather. You think you're so clever with your excessively long essays and your hand waving. Tell me you break your elbow one of these days with all of that flailing."

"It gets better," Hermione promised. "I mean, after today, anything is considered 'better'."

Severus's anger gave way to confusion. "What do you mean? I didn't have the Other you in class today."

"Well, no," Hermione said. "But I did set your robes on fire, so anything following today is really an improvement."

Severus's face went completely blank, but his black eyes drilled into hers. When he spoke, it was through clenched teeth. "_You_. Set. My. Robes. On. Fire."

"Strictly speaking, the young Miss Granger did," Hermione went on. "But it's all the same. And you can't say anything because you're not supposed to know."

Severus's wrath was mounting in his eyes. He was going to explode, Hermione could feel it. Retrieving his tea, Hermione cautiously placed it directly into his palm.

"Drink," she said gently.

"I could kill you."

"That wouldn't do any good."

"Oh, but I'd feel so much better," he intoned with relish.

Hermione shrugged. "Of course you would, but you'd feel guilty eventually. You are Master of Guilt, after all."

Severus frowned deeply, accentuating each line of his face further. They were the same age, but he looked older. Not too much older, but enough. It didn't help that he was always sneering and never went out for some healthy time in the sun. He looked like the professor she remember, but couldn't look at him now and see only a friend.

"I am sorry for setting you on fire," Hermione said when he said nothing. "And for being an all-around pain in the arse."

Severus simply lifted the cup to his mouth and took a sip. His frown became a glare. "Chamomile," he hissed, setting the cup down hard enough for it to slosh onto the table. He then turned on his heels, retreated to his office, and hid there for the rest of the night.

…~oOo~…

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What other events will Hermione sneak out to see? 3. Only two more years until Sirius's escape! What will happen?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	49. Desires Reflected

A/N. We're getting going! I got a review asking how long I believed this story was going to be – if my prediction from the start of it as changed. Yes, it definitely has. I thought it would be shorter than TLM, but now I'm thinking either the same length or maybe slightly longer. So, like 70-something.

I forgot to mention this, but my friend just had a baby! Beautiful baby girl. Now we're baby buddies, haha. Her daughter Kenzie and my Remus will probably be best friends – and I admit to some wedding planning. Even if she is barely a week old.

PLEASE NOTE: Some of this dialogue and a part of a scene was nabbed from the first movie. You'll know it when you see it. It's Snape and Quirrell's confrontation. This does not belong to me, I'm just borrowing.

…~oOo~…

Chapter Forty-Nine: Desires Reflected

With a heavy sigh, Hermione put the package down after scratching out a note. She did not sign it. Harry needed it more than she did now. But she would be lying if she said it didn't pain her to give up her only avenue of freedom.

The Invisibility Cloak always belonged to Harry, she told herself. It was what James would have wanted.

…

The beginning of the school year was gone in a flash, even for Hermione. Each night she'd listen to Severus's ranting and raving, and sometimes watch him mope and stew in his anger. The man was losing it. And Hermione made it clear he had to keep his mental faculties for at least six more years. At this, he simply groaned and retreated to his bedroom to sleep. Or toss and turn. Whichever – it was hit or miss with his sleeping habits lately.

And on the nights Severus just could not handle being in her presence, she experimented. Two side projects that Severus had no clue about. If he knew, she'd be – for lack of a better phrase – buggered.

The first night she tried the potions out, she did a private happy dance to celebrate her victory. Getting around the castle would be very easy.

One potion allowed her to cross magical barriers. The other gave the same effect as a Disillusionment charm. She just had to move slowly and be aware of her surroundings, and she'd be as good as invisible.

The first night she escaped by way of potion was during the winter holiday. The castle was mostly bare, so it was the perfect night to do some sneaking.

She didn't realize she wasn't the only one sneaking until something jostled a suit of armor and uttered, "Shhh!" to the clamoring metal.

Hermione's eyes shot wide open. Harry. Harry was out exploring.

It became easy to follow him after that. He was new to using the Cloak, of course, so he had no clue how loudly he was walking. It would take a year for him to master silent footsteps.

He entered the library. Hermione smirked as she remembered her last words to them before she went home for the holiday in their First Year. His motives were confirmed when he entered the Restricted Section.

Harry, the clumsy and reckless boy he was, drew the attention of Mrs. Norris during his book-bumbling while Hermione cringed, watching. Now Filch was after him.

Harry ran. Hermione sighed. Some Gryffindor.

Hermione kept up, light on her toes, after Harry until he pulled up short and heard his breathing cease. She had no clue why until she saw a swirl of black and heard that infernal stuttering. She inched closer and found Severus shoving Quirrell to a wall with a dangerous expression on his face.

…

"S-severus, I-I-I –"

"You don't want me as your enemy, Quirrell," Severus intoned darkly, trying not to roll his eyes at this coward's stammering and shivering. It took everything in his power not to hex him and his turban into a pile of ashes.

"W…what d-d you m-mean?" the Defense professor forced out of his nervous mouth.

Severus could not believe that Dumbledore had chosen Quirrell for the Defense position rather that he. Severus actually knew a thing or two about the Dark Arts and how to protect oneself from them. These children would be ill-prepared and in constant danger without some real revision.

"You know perfectly well what I mean," Severus said lowly, his eyes narrowing. Then he stilled. What was that? It sounded like breathing.

Severus gritted his teeth behind his pursed lips. Hermione and that blasted Cloak, he just knew it. It drove him mad. She never could just stay in their quarters, could she? If not because she was a prisoner, but for her own protection. The dungeon was her version of an ivory tower. He just knew if he could keep there then she'd be safe – not that he'd tell her this. Nor would she deduct his motives herself.

Severus spent more than a decade on trying to make up for past sins by being loyal to Dumbledore and keeping Hermione locked away for her own good.

Curious and wondering if Hermione was really so foolish, Severus looked in the direction of the soft breathing and heard it cut off. Ah, so someone was indeed there.

But perhaps… an enemy?

He reached out with one hand and grabbed at thin air, hoping to catch a handful of the Cloak covering Hermione. She must have stepped back.

He would deal with her later.

Severus spun back on Quirrell, the fear reigniting in the weaker man's eyes.

"We'll have another little chat soon…when you've had time to decide where your loyalties lie," Severus threatened, but was immediately distracted by Filch running up behind them. That man was always getting in the way of something.

"Professors, I found this in the Restricted Section," Filch said, looking sadistically pleased. He held up a cracked lantern. "It's still hot. That means there's a student out of bed."

_Dammit, Hermione! _Severus wanted to scream. He could only keep attention away from her if she wasn't so hell bent on midnight library runs. And what was she thinking, leaving behind a lantern? Did she want to draw an arrow to her rule-breaking? Because at this point she was drawing big circles around herself, pointing to her, just asking for Dumbledore to put her somewhere where she couldn't make any more trouble.

Quirrell, Filch, and Severus broke up. So Severus was free to hunt for Hermione alone. He cast a spell and suddenly the floor glowed with blue footprints that disappeared as he passed them. As he did, he shook his head. Hermione, perpetually barefoot, as he the blue prints glowed, each toe's swirl clear on the stone.

She was going to catch her death. He growled to himself. If Dumbledore or the flu didn't kill her, he was going to.

And then the footsteps stopped, just outside and abandoned classroom. The door was cracked open and he peeked inside.

Potter. The Boy Who Bloody Lived To Be A Pain In His Arse.

He stood before a mirror, the Cloak around his ankles. Brow furrowed, Severus tried to make sense of this. The spell was to track Hermione, and yet it was Potter with the Cloak sneaking about. How did he get the Cloak anyway?

Severus was never startled, but when the hands closed around his shoulder he did give a small jump.

"Shh," a voice he knew too well whispered. "It's only me."

"You…" he hissed. "_You're worse than dead when we get back to our rooms, you stupid girl_."

Severus was infuriated when he heard her light chuckle at his threat. Insubordinate little…

"I'm very sorry, Severus," she said, though she didn't sound sorry at all.

"What were you thinking, leaving your lantern in the library?" he demanded.

"That wasn't me. It was Harry. Now hush, he's coming back this way."

Severus was shoved into the nearest nook in the hall as Potter shot out of the classroom like a bat out of hell. He didn't see him, for he was recovered by the Cloak, but heard his footfalls and excited panting.

"He must be going to get Ron," Hermione said. "But… I have to get a look at that mirror." And he felt her speed as she blew past him, too fast for him to grab.

"Hermione," he growled, following after her. He rubbed his brows, thinking that this night could not get any worse. Hermione was a force of nature, so he took his damn time stomping after her, letting the anger build and build.

By the time he crossed the entire classroom, whatever enchantment Hermione had been under had faded. It fell away from her in shimmers, revealing the very thing woman, her hair drawn up in a messy knot, wearing a camisole and flannel pajama pants that were a few sizes too big. Like much of her sleepwear, he suspected that it once belonged to someone else.

The second he saw her face, all of his anger seemed to rush out of him in one breath. She stared into the mirror with big, almost scared eyes, tears trailing over her cheeks. She didn't even seem to be breathing, and looked partially catatonic. With that dazed, incredulous gaze, her small hand lifted up towards the mirror. She touched the glass.

Severus saw the words etched in the gilded mirror and he understood. The Mirror of Erised.

He knew exactly what he'd see if he stood directly in front of the mirror. But as a natural masochist, he couldn't resist torturing himself.

Severus stood directly behind Hermione, looking right over her head, which only reached his chest. And when he looked in the glass, gone was Hermione. But there She was.

"Do you see them?" Hermione whispered in awe. "All of them." Her words school like a leaf in a hurricane.

Severus knew what she must have seen. The Marauders. The people she lost. The people she couldn't save, the deaths she blamed herself for – her guilt was parallel with her own.

Her greatest desire was to go back and save James and Lily. He knew she saw them in the same way he knew before looking who he'd see.

"Do you see them?" Hermione asked once more, stepping back into his chest, obviously wanting to be hold.

"No," Severus said honestly, staring into _Her_ radiant green eyes, her auburn hair so silky and real-looking that he felt as if he could touch it.

With a deep breath he answered her, "I only see her."

…~oOo~…

More than a year passed. Ginny Weasley was rescued from the Chamber of Secrets and the monster was killed by a very brave Harry.

It was the night after all the students had been un-petrified. Hermione had worked alongside Severus and Pomona in the brewing of the antidote, assuring them all along that it would work. They didn't always seem to believe her, which amused Hermione. They didn't have trust in the time-traveler.

Severus sat in his arm chair, looking more pensive than usual. Hermione made him tea that he didn't touch. She even baked him his favorite bourbon biscuits, which he seemed to have no interest in. Just to see his reaction, she told him that she was going to buy a glaring of kneazle even though he'd forbidden her from doing so. He continued to stare forward and make noncommittal humming noises.

"Alright, that's it," Hermione said, throwing herself down onto the sofa across from him. She leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her knees and staring straight back at him. "What's wrong, Severus? Your antidote was successful, you should be over the moon."

"You were petrified," he eventually said with no inflection.

"Yes, I was," Hermione said simply.

"And… you didn't think to tell me this?" he said tightly, his voice getting rougher. "Give me some warning?"

"You know I can't –"

"Christ, Hermione!" Severus bellowed, smacking his fist down into the arm of his chair. "I could give a damn whether or not you were allowed to tell me! I walked into that Infirmary to find a little girl frozen, possibly half-dead, totally unprepared! Hermione, do you think of anyone but yourself?"

Hermione was taken aback by his sudden outburst. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm supposed to be protecting you, you idiot!" Severus shouted. "How am I supposed to protect you if you're withholding information? What if your withholding information led to Miss Granger's death? Where would you be then? You'd be gone, Hermione! You'd disappear from existence because you kept your mouth shut and I couldn't save you!"

Then it all hit Hermione, hard. He'd been scared. Scared that his antidote wouldn't have worked. Scared that something could have happened to her younger self that would affect her.

Hermione bit her lip, feeling like she could cry. It made sense. Why he let her sneak out without saying anything. Why he was never hateful or cruel. He didn't see her as a prisoner, but as someone to keep safe, someone to keep preserved.

It was the same way she felt about him.

Hermione got up from the sofa and knelt before his arm chair. He visibly stiffened. Gently, Hermione rested her head in his lap and took hold of his band, running her thumb over his knuckles. After a long, tense moment, he relaxed a little.

"I'm sorry, Severus," Hermione said soothingly. "Everything will be alright. I will be alright."

Without a word, Severus rested his other hand atop her head, his fingers getting stuck in her curls.

"Your hair is horrendous," he said blandly.

Hermione smiled to herself. "You're one to talk."

…~oOo~…

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What did you think about Hermione's sneaking about? 3. Do you just love Hermione and Severus being buddies? Haha, I do.

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	50. Twelve Years

A/N. HERE WE ARE. I've been so excited to write this!

I've noticed that this fanfiction has no fan-art…

Fan-art contest anyone?

…~oOo~…

Chapter Fifty: Twelve Years

The Weasleys. He remembered the Weasleys. Remembered Gideon and Fabian's sister marrying that Ministry bloke and popping out baby after baby. He even met a few of them. Especially the boy close to Harry in age, the one with all the red hair. Well, they all had red hair. But his name was something with an R…

Sirius Black looked at the article. Looks like the oldest boy was making a name for himself in Egypt. The picture was lovely, he thought. All of those happy faces lined up in front of the pyramids. It was sunny, he could tell. God, he missed the sun. He even missed nighttime. And rain.

Sirius was leaned up against the stone wall, next to his etchings that he'd made with a tooth he found years ago in the corner of his cell. The etchings were all the same – the letter H in various fonts.

Sirius bent the page of the newspaper around the photo, trying to be neat even though his filthy fingers smudged it. Carefully, he ripped it out and planned on adding it to the rest of his newspaper photos and articles. He made little books of the photos and things he liked, kept together with threads from his ragged uniform.

But then he saw it. It was barely a spec in the photo, but when he brought it closer to his face, it was clear. Clearer than anything else in his life.

The rat on one of the boys' shoulder. Just an ordinary rat to the untrained eye, but when Sirius squinted his eyes and counted, his body went cold.

The rat missed a finger.

Sirius saw red, his hand closing around the picture and crumbling it.

His voice, raspy from rare use and dry from thirst, hissed into the darkness, "_Wormtail_."

…~oOo~…

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to have a word with the conductor," the new professor said with a tired smile. He gestured at the chocolate. "Eat it. It really helps." And then he closed the train compartment's door behind him.

And it was safe to breathe. Remus Lupin leaned against the narrow hall of the train cart, feeling like he could pass out. It all had happened so quickly. One minute he's napping, the next second he's waking to the sound of her voice, and then a Dementor is attacking.

"_Professor R.J. Lupin." _

Higher pitched, yes, but it was definitely her voice. And when he'd opened one eye, it only confirmed his suspicions. It was most definitely Hermione, but the Hermione that belonged there. Not the friend he once knew. This Hermione would be a student.

A small part of him wondered all these years if maybe Hermione had been lying about her time travel. Now he was proven wrong.

He was startled from his reverie by a half-kneazle he knew very well, nuzzling his ankles. He picked it up and it gave a hiss. Confused, Remus checked the belly.

Okay, so this wasn't Dandy. Unless Dandy suddenly grew male parts without his notice. Also, this kneazle was slightly thinner than his Dandy. Putting the male cat down, it scampered away in search of food elsewhere, scratching his paws at the door of the compartment he'd just left.

With a sigh, dragging her hands down his face, Remus went out in search of his kneazle. Dandy was probably off lighting a stick of dynamite or gnawing off someone's foot. He should have known it wasn't Dandy – she never nuzzled his ankles.

…

Remus couldn't suppress a small smile as he approached and entered Hogwarts. It looked exactly as he remembered. Every window, tower, statue… He knew them all like old friends. Remus Lupin was home again.

His trucks levitated behind him, along with his massive orange beast trudging along behind him, eyes shifting left and right with mistrust.

"You remember Hogwarts, don't you, Dandy?" Remus said to his familiar. "You lived here when you were only a kitten."

A deep gurgle came from Dandy's throat. It wasn't a pleasant sound.

"If you don't want to talk about it, all you have to do is say so," Remus said, rolling his eyes. How he managed to take care of such an ill-tempered cat, he had no idea. But she hadn't run away yet, so he figured he was doing something right. "There are mice galore here, though, so this might just be a kneazle paradise. Also, no mating with that fluffy fellow from the train. I can't handle more than one of you."

Another noise that might just have meant, _I'll mate when I damn well want to, insolent human. _

Remus just smirked to himself. Nothing, not even his semi-evil cat could bring down his mood.

Remus walked up to his portrait. It was of a Vincenzo Lombardi, the man considered to be the Father of Defense, the man responsible for the very first counter-curse. He was from the Middle Ages, a confidante of Godric, and supposedly had a roll in the hay with Helga.

"Welcome to Hogwarts, Professor," Vincenzo said with definite traces of an Italian accent. "Let me know when you choose a password, yes?"

"Make it Prongs for now, please," Remus said.

"As you wish, Professor," Vincenzo said, his frame swinging open.

The quarters were dark at first. But with a flick of his wand, the torches and fireplace blazed and illuminated his new living space.

As well as a visitor.

Remus froze. It couldn't possibly be…

Sitting there, Indian style, in the arm chair of his living area was someone he believed to be dead or long gone. Hermione's hair was up in a ponytail, her hair very long, her brown eyes big. She'd changed – very much so – but she was still very much her.

Her face was so mature, gone was the girlishness, though her big eyes still suggested youthfulness. Her frame was possibly smaller, thinner, and she was so very, very pale. Startlingly pale. Her freckles stood out more because her skin was the color of milk.

"Hermione," he breathed, finally able to breathe and speak.

"Hello, Remus," Hermione said with obvious affection. "You're so…"

"Old," he finished for her. "So are you."

Touching her face absently, Hermione nodded. "Yes. I suppose so."

"But…also…young," he said, trying to pinpoint what it was about her appearance that confused him apart from his pale skin. "You aren't a vampire, are you?" he asked, brows furrowing.

"Do I smell like a vampire?" she asked self-consciously.

He shook his head. "You smell human."

"That's a relief."

There was a long, drawn out silence.

"Hermione," Remus said quietly. "What are you doing here?"

Hermione shrugged. "I haven't left." She sighed at his obvious puzzlement. "Sit down, I'll make some tea. This is going to be a very long story."

Following the long talk, which was littered with many questions and clarifications, with some very sensitive details left out, Hermione felt like she could just fall asleep from the exhaustion of reliving it. The fateful Halloween night, the delicate balance of Hermione's life in the timeline, her imprisonment… but she withheld the identity of the Potters' true betrayer. She knew that Remus's fury at the right moment was critical to future events.

Remus's head was in his hands. The impact of Hermione's tale was even worse than the first time she told him she was from the future. Everything he'd believed for twelve years had been a lie.

"You left that night…" Remus said, his voice breaking slightly. "To try and save them."

Hermione nodded. They'd been through this, but it still must have been a shock.

"Even though you were dying," he said. "You know, I replayed those last few days before Halloween over and over in my mind, trying to find clues, any indication, of what was going to happen. Trying to find evidence of Sirius's betrayal, and yours. And all I remembered was you being so…_sick_. And Sirius was so worried, and so was I, and you were just fading away right before or eyes and I never thought to ask if maybe it was because of where you were from…"

Hermione shrugged. "I had no clue that's what was happening. Dumbledore explained it to me later."

"And he's kept you here?" Remus said, obviously appalled. "Locked you in the castle – the dungeons – for twelve years?"

"Well, strictly speaking, the dungeon is a fairly recent move," Hermione said, looking down into her empty cup, shaking it hard to scatter the tea leave. "A few years back they needed our old rooms for a Defense professor with a family and being down here was so convenient, with the classroom and Slytherin dorms so close, that we never bothered moving back."

"All this time with Severus Snape as a roommate and you haven't pitched yourself out a tower?"

Hermione smirked. "He's not as bad as you think. We've become very close. Or, at least, I've pressured him into closeness."

Remus hesitated before asking tentatively, "Are you and he… you know…"

"Goodness, no!" Hermione said with big eyes. A little self-consciously, her hands came together in front of her, her fingers playing with a band on her left hand. "I've…never taken this off." She held up her engagement ring before dropping her hands back into her lap. "I've been here for so long and been so lonely, but I feel a bit like I'm stalled in time. Nothing changes in here, even though the world keeps turning out there. In my head, you're still my dearest friend and Sirius is still the man I want to marry – even though you probably hate me and Sirius is…" Her throat thickened and she tried to clear it, but the tears were welling up.

Hermione looked down at the coffee table where Sirius's face screamed and ripped away from hands on the front of the Prophet. He'd escaped. She had to keep telling herself that, because it was so hard to believe even though it was her second time living it.

"You cannot let anyone know that you know Sirius is innocent," Hermione said, her voice grave. "It's imperative you continue on as you always have."

"But, Hermione, you haven't told me about who was really to blame her James and Lily's –"

"And I can't tell you," Hermione said, cutting. "Not yet. I promise, the truth will be revealed soon enough."

He raked his hands back through his greying hair.

"Alright," he sighed. "Fine. I will try and be patient."

At length Hermione said, "Remus?"

"Yes?"

"Why the mustache?"

With a small smile, Remus brought his fingers up to touch the hair above his lip. "I thought it looked rather dashing."

And Hermione couldn't help but laugh.

…~oOo~…

Padfoot slid across the Hogwarts grounds under the cover of nightfall, his fur blending in with the shadows. A number of days had passed since he'd ripped apart that portrait.

Wormtail was a sneaky bastard. Padfoot had shredded apart several rats in a rage, unfortunately none of them being the one he wanted to kill the most. He felt the symbol for revenge throb on his chest constantly, the tattoo practically burning as his redemption was dawning.

_For James and Lily… and little Harry… Oh, little Harry…_

In a fit of sorrow, Padfoot scratched at the earth, trying not to cry, before throwing his head back and letting out a long, doggish howl.

His kneazle ally, a fat orange creature with an angry face who reminded him greatly of an old kitten of his own, was off in the castle trying to drag the rat out for him. When a certain brunette witch told him in a dream that kneazles were highly intelligent, she hadn't quite believed her. He had been proven wrong.

It wouldn't be long. It couldn't be. He would have his revenge. And once Wormtail was dead and he stopped seeing red and fantasizing about murder, Padfoot could go back to dreams of her. His wild-haired, bright-eyed, know-it-all witch. The one he wasn't sure was real and who he could not live without.

…~oOo~…

"He escapes, doesn't he?"

Hermione looked over at Severus slowly. His eyes were burning with anger. It was the worst year yet for him. Remus was in the position that Severus had been lusting after for years, Sirius was still running about, and Hermione had a sneaking suspicion his bad mood had to do with Hermione's frequent Floo-ing to Remus's quarters for tea.

"Who?" Hermione inquired, even though she already knew the answer.

"Black," he growled. "He gets away. Escapes for good. Doesn't he?"

Hermione doesn't say anything, which she knows confirms his suspicions.

"And when he does," Severus went on, "you'll go after him, won't you?"

Hermione's lungs were tightening. "I… I have to."

"Why?"

"Because he's my everything, Severus."

"Dumbledore won't let you."

Hermione sighed. "He might. He's been… kind lately. Generous. He no longer keeps me confined to these rooms, but allows me to use the Floo to certain areas of the castle. He seems genuinely apologetic. I believe he's seen the error of his ways."

Severus was silent.

"If it makes you feel any better… Sirius probably won't want me around. He might even refuse to see me," Hermione said softly. "I'll be back here before you know it."

"You're wrong," Severus replied dryly. "I remember the way Black looked at you in school."

"That was a very long time ago," Hermione said simply. "And the world has changed."

Severus was shaking his head. "That kind of…love…doesn't just disappear."

Brow furrowed, Hermione slid her gaze over to where Severus sat in his arm chair. It was a very strange thing for him to say. She was pretty sure it was the first time he'd ever use the word love apart from when he'd go into a rage, saying, "I'd love to wring his neck!" or something more vulgar.

"Well, even so," Hermione said, tucking her feet under her and leaning back on the sofa. "I have a feeling that I'll be rejected and back to making you tea the moment he sees me. So don't worry about my leaving just yet."

"Worry?" he said, eyes narrowed. "I'm counting the seconds."

Even though she knew he was just being cruel, his words stung. Hermione's frown deepened. "You don't mean that."

"I do. I dream for the day I'll have these chambers to myself."

Hermione couldn't prevent her lower lip from wobbling. The last few weeks had been a waiting game for her, each day inched her closer to the edge, and every moment she felt a different emotion. She was more delicate than ever and she really wished she could rely on the man she considered to be her best friend for some comfort or peace of mind – but that's not the friendship they had.

She saw it for what it was, their relationship. They'd been forced into close quarters and had to manipulate the situation into something tolerable. They had modified their behavior around one another to avoid screaming down the castle or killing each other. Hermione had started off secretly resenting him and playing the game, but then she'd really grown fond of him.

But maybe Severus never got to that point. Maybe he was still at the phase of controlling his temper to avoid yelling all of the time. Maybe she was still a nuisance.

"I could… stay with Remus," Hermione offered numbly, trying not to show how very upset she was by this. Twelve years they'd lived together and now she realized that for twelve years he was waiting eagerly for her release.

He was like a brother to her. But she was no sister to him. She was a charge, a burden, a pet he never wanted.

Severus's eyes bore into hers. "You might as well. It isn't as if you don't already spend all of your time there anyway. You'd be amazed how much grading I get done when you aren't jabbering in my ear."

Hermione swallowed and stood off the sofa. "I'll go get my things together and then make arrangements with Remus and Dumbledore, then. Congratulations, Severus. You'll be getting your rooms to yourself sooner than you thought." She said it without malice, without hurt, but with…sincerity. She genuinely wanted Severus to be comfortable and if her leaving made that possible, then she was more than happy to comply.

But still… as Hermione packed her things, she couldn't help but cry.

…~oOo~…

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What's got Severus's knickers in a twist? 3. You know what next chapter is, don't you…?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	51. Revenge

A/N. Oh, my, I'm nervous for this chapter. But I think I can do this. Some of this chapter is stolen from the books and movies, so that stuff I don't own.

Before I start, I want to give MAJOR KUDOS to **mh21** (who also happened to be the reader to inspire me to write this story). She (if she is in fact a she, she could also be a he) is the first and only person to realize that Hermione trusts Severus despite the fact that in her own timeline she still believed that he'd killed Dumbledore. ALSO, no one seemed to notice that even though EVERYONE believed Severus to be a murderer, he was at the Order meeting and no one was lynching him. And yet, before the wedding, Scrimgeour still made an appearance with the will and gave the Golden Trio their things.

THIS. IS. IMPORTANT. And it WILL be explained.

ALSO. Someone asked about how to go about sending me fanart. Well, there are two options. ONE: PM me a link to deviantart, your blog, wherever you posted your art. TWO: Send it directly to my email resaxwrites yahoo . com.

…~oOo~…

Chapter Fifty-One: Revenge

Remus and Hermione were laughing too hard. Their bellies ached with how hard they were laughing. They sat with their legs crisscrossed on the bed, directly across from one another, with a pile of chocolate and candies between them. Remus's full moon was approaching and she'd wanted to do something to make him forget about it. So she may or may not have dipped into Severus's stash of contraband he'd taken from students over the years.

There was no better way to distract Remus than chocolate.

"That wasn't even the worst!" Hermione said through her full mouth and unceasing chortles. "You weren't there for when he'd charmed all the mice in the castle to trail behind me everywhere! It's was wretched!"

"Oh, yes, I remember that," Remus said with a broad smile. "I was out of classes because of the moon – he did it that way because he knew I'd talk him out of it. And he didn't charm the mice, he'd asked Peter to rally them in his rat form."

The cold feeling in Hermione's chest took hold. She cleared her throat and stuffed her face with licorice, trying to play off the obviously shocked look in her eyes. She decided to change the subject before she accidentally blurted out the truth about Peter.

"So, Remus," Hermione said, trying to play it off perfectly casual. "Where have you been? What have you been doing?"

Remus shrugged, his spirits seeming to damper a bit, and Hermione felt bad. "I've been pretty much everywhere," he said, breaking off a square of chocolate from the bar. "I spent a few years in the Muggle world as a custodian. When I came back, I worked in a bookstore which was nice. You can imagine my surprise when I read about the Wolfsbane potion and that one S. Snape had a hand in its creation."

"Quite so," Hermione said with quirky kind of smile.

Remus raised one of his brows. "What's with that look? All secret-like and whatnot."

"Nothing," Hermione said, feigning innocence, winding a licorice whips between her fingers, trying it in a knot.

"Wait a minute," Remus said, the realization dawning. "You knew he'd be responsible for the Wolfsbane… and he told me that you helped him brew my monthly doses… Hermione, what did you do?" His smirk was slightly mischievous.

"He had the right idea," Hermione explained, trying to sound nonchalant. "And he was ready to throw out the project. I knew it was important, so I just… nudged him in the right direction."

"Isn't that cheating?"

"No! It's consulting," Hermione said, mockingly defensive. She gave a short giggle.

"I still can't believe you've lived with him all these years, let alone imagine you brewing with him," Remus said. "I have the image in my mind of him standing over his cauldron in a really dark room, all protective like it's his child, sneering at anyone who comes near."

"That is scarily accurate," Hermione said, her mouth pulling to the side. "But I weaseled into his good graces. We had to for the sake of our sanity. And he won't admit it, but I was a great help in his experimenting. I played guinea pig more than once, you know. He better remember that next time he gives my younger self a hard time."

"Ah yes, the infuriating yet intelligent young Miss Granger," Remus mused. "Reminds me a bit of someone I know…"

Chuckling, Hermione gave him a playful whack on the knee. "Infuriating, am I? Watch that smart mouth, Professor Lupin, there are two of me now and don't think I'm above using that to my advantage."

With a smile, Remus said, "I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

…~oOo~…

Hermione's head jerked to the door at the sound of it slamming. Remus was wild-eyed and looked like he'd seen a ghost. It was the middle of the night, the hours Hermione found it hardest to sleep, and she was reading on the sofa.

Remus held up a stack of parchment. Hermione knew exactly what it was, but she had no prepared herself for this yet. She swallowed.

"Peter," Remus said hollowly, eyes wide and whining. He was trembling, she saw. "Peter is alive. He's the traitor."

Slowly, Hermione nodded.

"And you didn't tell me."

"I told you I couldn't," Hermione said, feeling awful. Remus's face… it was horrified. Distraught. Furious. All of that once. He couldn't decide what to feel.

"One of our friends," Remus said. "I…can't…" His voice trailed off. "He framed Sirius."

Hermione nodded, feeling her own spark of anger. "Yes. He did. He cut off his own finger, faked his own death, and let Sirius take the fall for his betrayal."

Remus's face contorted in rage. "I'll kill him."

With a sad sigh, Hermione thought to herself with regret, _No, you won't. Because he'll get away. _

…~oOo~…

It was the night. Hermione just knew it. A part of her knew it when she called out for Remus when she tried bringing him his last dose of Wolfsbane in his office. He didn't answer and that heavy feeling settled in her stomach. She'd pushed open the door to find him missing, but with the Map open on his desk, all of the ink spots moving around, going about their business.

Ron must be in the hospital. It must be the day of Buckbeak's execution. The day she and Harry used the Time-Turner.

Hermione ran. It was getting dark. She wondered how long Remus had been gone from their rooms. She was panicking, looking at the time on her watch, trying to remember the exact hour at which Ron had been dragged into the Shrieking Shack, but she could not remember. It was just so long ago…

She needed someone who could be seen. An ally.

The answer came before the question. Hermione stormed into Severus's office and he looked properly hacked off that she didn't knock.

"Severus, Remus is gone," she said, holding up the goblet of Wolfsbane.

Severus faced darkened. Darker than she'd ever seen it. "That idiot is going to put students in danger." He shot up from his chair and began sprinting from his rooms. Hermione followed behind and he quickly cast a Disillusionment over her.

"Severus, you can't know about Sirius – remember that, alright? He's still a traitor in your eyes," Hermione said firmly as she worked her legs double-time to keep up with Severus's long strides.

Severus's black eyes were boiling with fire. "Black is out there? Lupin has been letting him in the castle, hasn't he?" he spat.

"Er…well… let's just say you're going to find out, okay?" Hermione said, desperate not to let too much slip. "But please…be careful!"

It didn't seem he heard her at all. He was probably thinking up a thousand ways to brutally murder Remus and Sirius.

"Stay in the castle," he said as they approached the archway leading out onto the grounds.

"Like hell!"

"You_ will_ stay in the castle," he hissed scathingly. "There is a rogue werewolf on the loose."

"He isn't rogue, Severus –"

"_No_!" he practically bellowed, turning on her, stopping her right in her tracks so abruptly she nearly ran into him. "Trust that when this is over, I will have Lupin's pelt for a rug and you will be locked in your bedroom in the dungeons until Dumbledore has to duel me to let you out."

"What do I have to do with any of this?!"

"Lupin is dangerous," he snarled. "And I am not entirely thrilled that you've been living with a man who apparently doesn't put much thought into endangering the entire school. Now, go back to our rooms." He pointed dictatorially back towards the dungeons. "This won't take long." And he swept out of the castle.

Hermione glared after him. He really didn't know her at all. She ran out of the castle behind him.

She couldn't go into the Shrieking Shack, that much she knew. She didn't want to be seen by Severus on his way either, so she sneaked along the edge of the forest until she had the Whomping Willow within view. Sending up a prayer, Hermione climbed slowly up the perfectly mundane tree nearby and sat in its branches, waiting for her friends to emerge.

She cringed at the memory of what was happening in the Shack.

…

They embraced like brothers. Sirius grabbed Remus hard like a lifeline, wanting some solidity to what was happening. He could feel himself losing it, mad with a thirst for revenge, and now he was sure he was seeing things.

The girl. The girl with Harry and his friend Ron.

It was exactly how he imagined his witch. And frightfully brave, to boot, having shoved Harry behind herself to shield him, declaring that Sirius would have to kill her too. Even her voice was the same as he heard it in his head, perhaps higher pitched, but there it was…

But none of that matters. Hallucinations, all of it. This was just a scared, little girl, a friend of Harry's, who had no clue just how out of her depth she was.

"She's…" Sirius croaked into Remus's hair, wondering if he saw it too.

"Don't worry, Sirius," Remus whispered to him, giving him a last squeeze before they released one another.

For some reason, those words from his long lost friend made everything a little better. Sirius was beyond relieved to see him, his old flatmate and mate.

Everything happened so quickly, but Sirius had his attention solely on the rat. His fingers were itching to just take his little had and snap it. He might even cut its heart out just to be sure. Oh, how he wanted so very badly to commit the murder he'd been imprisoned for.

It all happened in quick succession for Sirius. Remus's story of how they became Animagi – he, Peter, and James – and about why the Shack was called Shrieking. The clever girl's revelation about just how much she knew about Remus's lycanthropy.

And then Snape had barged in to ruin everything, as he usually did. Sirius felt the panic – he couldn't be discovered or Kissed by the Dementors until Peter was dead. He couldn't.

And then the balls of light. The lights hit Severus dead center at the same time, knocking him back into the wall and knocking him out. Harry and his clever girl had attacked their professor… and the girl looked absolutely mortified.

"We attacked a teacher… We attacked a teacher…" the girl whimpered, staring at her passed out teacher, the drip of red from his hairline. "Oh, we're going to be in so much trouble!"

Sirius nearly laughed. She didn't know the meaning of trouble.

And it wasn't long before Sirius was rewarded with the sight of Peter Pettigrew. He grew from the ugly rat into an ugly, stumpy man with barely any hair left and those beady, watery eyes. It took everything in Sirius's body not to lunge and choke the man to death.

Sirius explained just how Peter had managed to keep an ear out for news while living a cushy life as a pet rat with the Weasleys. He was getting tired of speaking, his voice hoarse and his will thinning. Just kill him, he told himself. He's right there, alive and well while James and Lily are head – he needed to die now.

And then she spoke.

"Er – Mr. Black – Sirius?"

Sirius gave a start and turned to her slowly. The way she said his name… This couldn't be a coincidence. This girl was a marvelously interesting creature, and he was in awe of her. And now, she so boldly spoke his name like he was a superior instead of a prisoner… Brave, intelligent, polite to a fault…

He couldn't take his eyes from her.

"If you don't mind me asking, how – how did you get out of Azkaban if you didn't use Dark Magic?"

Sirius frowned in thought. What a Hermione thing to ask…

Wait. Had they all been calling her Hermione this entire time? How had he not noticed? He'd been so fixated on Peter, not paying attention to most of the conversation, distracted by Snivellus's entrance…

They'd been calling her Hermione.

What did this mean…?

…

Hermione saw them leave the Shack. Saw Remus transform. Saw Severus push her younger self, Harry, and Ron behind him to protect them from the werewolf – something she'd never realized before, even as it was happening. Peter's escape in the excitement.

Sirius turned into a dog. Distracting Remus from the children, tousling, being bitten. Hermione had to suppress a scream. Dread settled over her like a fog. The next few moments were going to be awful to watch, but she had to, just in case she needed to jump in as a last resort.

When the howl came, Remus ran after it and Sirius trudged away, whining, limping with his wounds. Hermione dropped from the tree, heart hammering, and followed him from a distance to the lake where he transformed, weak and half-dead, moaning as the Dementors crept in.

From Hermione's new vantage point in her blindspot, she saw both Harrys, on either side of the lake. The one stood with a dying, collapsed Sirius, and the other was looking around wildly, hunting for someone to cast the Patronus to save him. Little did he know that he would have to cast it himself.

"Come on, Harry," Hermione muttered to herself, watching on, gasping with anxiety and feeling the sorrow that the Dementors brought. "Please, please, Harry, come on…"

It took him for what felt like ages to finally lift his wand and belt out, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

The Dementors fled the swirling, silver shield that Harry created to protect his other self and his godfather.

And with the help of Buckbeak, later Sirius would escape. She knew he would. He always did.

…~oOo~…

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. How was it? For the exact details of what happened in the Shack, in case you forgot, read from the chapter "Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs" on through to "Dementor's Kiss". 3. Hehe, I bet you thought they'd be reunited in this chapter, didn't you? Well, how do YOU think the reunion will go? How does it play out in your head?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	52. Two Prisoners

A/N. THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!

Side note, I was watching Warehouse 13 the other day and got to thinking… Myka Bering looks very much like how I picture an adult Hermione in my head! Here's a link to a photo –

warehouse-13 . maxupdates . tv/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Joanne-Kelly1 . jpg

Weird question… are all of you girls? Like, do I have ANY male readers at all? I'm just curious, you see. If you're a guy, please yell, "YES I HAVE MALE PARTS" on the reviews. Or just say, "I'm a dude". I just want to do a ratio thing.

…~oOo~…

Chapter Fifty-Two: Two Prisoners

"I will not stand for this," Severus snapped. "Hermione belongs here."

"I cannot keep her here any longer, Severus," Dumbledore said, his blue eyes twinkling. "She has been kept prisoner long enough. I cannot in good conscience keep her here when Sirius is staying with Remus in the country. I do believe I can trust Hermione to make sure Sirius stays indoors, and he to do the same for her."

Severus looked like he was about to blow a gasket. "Black and Lupin put the entire school at risk!"

"They had no malicious intent towards the school or the students."

Hermione sat in the chair, feeling hollow, not hearing anything Dumbledore and Severus said to one another. Her mind kept going back to those moments after he emerged from the base of the Willow and before he transformed into a dog.

He'd looked so awful. Like a skeleton with waxy, sallow skin, and very long, greasy, matted black hair. It swung to his elbows, she remembered. He looked half lifeless even before he collapsed at the lake. And he looked at the sky with such wonder, like his freedom wasn't yet real and he could die just from seeing the stars again.

The look on his face as he saw what the night sky looked like for the first time in twelve years had Hermione in tears while Severus and Dumbledore argued.

"…for her own good!" Severus was practically screaming. "She has no means of self-defense! Her magic continues to be unpredictable and random! She has no wand!"

"I do believe we can fix one of those things," Dumbledore said with a serene smile. He pulled open a drawer in his desk and plucked out an object. When he held it up, Hermione's breath left her body and the tears came faster.

Her wand. He'd kept her wand. She'd thought he destroyed it, but no…

Rising from her chair, hand outstretched, she took it from Dumbledore oh so very carefully. Held it between her fingers. Felt its weight in her palm.

"You really are releasing me," Hermione said, her voice tiny and incredulous.

"I am," Dumbledore said.

Hermione swallowed hard. "Th-thank you."

"No thanks are required," Dumbledore answered with a small smile. "Granted, you haven't been the best behaved of prisoners…" He gave a wink. "But you deserve this. I trust you to know your limits and to keep yourself hidden."

When Hermione turned around, Severus's anger had disappeared. He looked completely emotionless. He was wearing his mask once more, but his eyes had no light in them. He might have been a corpse, but Hermione knew that look.

Severus was genuinely upset.

The guilt panged in her chest. Hermione was overwhelmingly glad to be free, so much that she could not stop crying. But her friend – her dear, dear friend – was sad. And part of her was, too. She was scared. She'd known nothing beyond the castle and Severus for twelve long years and everything she'd ever dreamt of was being handed to her on a beautiful platter.

And Severus would be alone.

Hermione's bottom lip trembled horridly as she tried not to sob. She stepped forward, trembling, and pressed her face into Severus's chest tentatively. He could either throw her off or allow her the moment. He, surprisingly, went with the latter.

Hermione cried into Severus's chest, one of her hands curling around the back of his neck and the other around his back, holding on tight. A sob fought its way up from her throat and Severus's hand rested on her hair.

"It's everything, Severus," Hermione wept. "Everything I've waited for…"

"I know," he said, his voice lower than she'd ever heard it. "I know it is."

"And I'm so afraid," she whispered. "How will I do it without you?"

Severus said nothing, just gently stroked her hair and let her sob.

Because that question burnt for Severus as well. _How will I do it without you, Hermione?_

…~oOo~…

Sirius Black stood in the hot shower for an hour. The hot water, the smell of soap, watching the grime fall off of him and swirling down the drain. At the start, his filth had made mud at his feet, but it was all washed away eventually, and he religiously scrubbed away layer after layer. His hair was been the worst part. He took a comb with him into the shower and slowly took it through each knot and matted area with conditioner.

It felt so incredibly good. The scabs and open wounds all over his body no longer stung or bled. His neck was less stiff, as well as the rest of his joints. The bone-deep cold that he carried with him for the last decade melted away.

When he finally stepped out of the shower, Sirius stared at the pile of rags on the floor, his prison uniform with his number on the black. He would burn them first chance he got.

Remus left clean clothes for him on the side of the sink. Oh Merlin, he'd missed the feel of denim and clean, soft cotton. And boxers too. In his youth he never thought he'd actually get sick of going commando, but in Azkaban that came quickly. Once wrapped in the denims, long-sleeved black t-shirt and gloriously fresh-out-of-the-dryer-warm boxers, he ran his hands back through his overlong hair and brushed it out before padding out of the bathroom and following the scent of food that came from the kitchen.

Food. Real, warm food. He practically ran.

Already on the table was a loaf of bread, pasta, sauce, and meatballs. Sirius hurried to the seat with the full plate and shoved a piece of bread into his mouth while simultaneously stabbing at the mound of pasta with his fork, eager to get every last bit of it in his mouth.

"Easy now, Sirius," Remus said, sliding into the seat next to his old friend. "You don't want to make yourself sick. Slow down a bit."

Reluctantly, Sirius swallowed his mouthful and took a deep breath before tackling the next, smaller bite. Remus was right. He always was.

He slathered a roll with enough butter to give a healthy man a heart attack. "God, I've missed butter," Sirius practically purred. "And your face. I've missed your ugly mug desperately, Remus, you have no clue."

Remus smirked. "Now who's got the ugly mug, eh? But you do look a lot better. That shower did you a lot of good."

Sirius nodded. "I feel a thousand times better, too. I feel human again, which is…" He let out a long sigh. "You really have no idea," he said, completely in awe. "I actually feel healthier. Younger. Like I can run again if I wanted."

"Those are the potions you drank, probably," Remus said, referring to the bottles of potions Sirius had drunk prior to his shower.

"Where_ did_ you get those potions, Remus?" Sirius asked, curious. His friend had always been pants at potions.

"Severus sent them through the Floo along with a death threat," Remus said with a smile. "A bit contradictory, but he's had quite the evening."

Sirius swallowed again and took the glass of water, gulping it down greedily, the water overflowing out of the corners of his mouth and dripping into his lap.

"Would you like a glass of wine? A friend told me that a glass of red a day is good for your heart," Remus said, standing up.

"Please," Sirius said.

Remus took the bottle he kept for rainy days down from its perch on the fridge and poured two glasses, putting one in front of Sirius.

"Drink it slow," Remus said.

Sirius obeyed, taking a sip. The liquid shot warmth to his belly. It made him smile and take another swallow.

"Your color is already coming back," Remus said approvingly. "Good."

Sirius took the deepest of breaths and sat back, taking a break from the food he'd been stuffing down. He did not want to throw up, not once he got real food in him.

"I think you have a story to tell me, Remus," Sirius said, seeing the look in his friend's eyes. Sirius felt his excitement slow as he realized exactly what was going to come next. "And it has to do with the girl, right? Harry's little friend with the crazy hair."

Remus nodded.

Leaning forward on the table, close to his friend, he looked into Remus's eyes and had to take another breath before asking, "Was it her?"

Remus paused. "Yes."

Sirius's breath abandoned his lungs. He couldn't think straight for a moment before asking, "How can that be?"

Remus took a long swallow of his own wine before rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Even I don't know how to possibly explain this. Or even where to start."

"She's alive?" Sirius clarified.

Remus nodded.

"Then start wherever you like," Sirius said, his throat thickening. "Because that's all I need to know."

Remus was shaking his head. "There's so much more… So much that's been kept from you, kept from me, kept from the world. It's a torrent of secrets and phenomena and trickery. So much of the truth has been warped that it hurts my head to think about it."

Sirius stared at Remus for a long time. "I always knew she had a secret. It had to be a big one, I knew that. But I have to know… was she a traitor?"

"No," Remus said firmly. "Never was she a traitor."

"And that night she left…"

"She was going to try and save James and Lily."

"How did she know?"

"That," Remus said, "is exactly where the story begins."

…

She was coming. Very soon, according to Remus.

And Sirius stood by the window like a puppy waiting for its owner to get home from work. He watched out of the glass, seeing dawn begin over the hill, but he could not sleep. Not until he saw her. Not until he could be sure she was real, solid, and alive. He no longer trusted his own memory – he needed to see her, touch her, hear her voice.

Part of him wanted to be angry, to push her away, and to try and forget her.

But Remus made Hermione's case quite thoroughly. He understood exactly why Hermione had done what she'd done. And maybe a part of him was angry with himself, too. Angry that he hadn't noticed all the signs or figure out before she got sick. He kicked himself for that too – he should have pushed harder that last month to get her to St. Mungo's. The memory of Hermione looking twig thin and drained was at the forefront of his mind.

And then he saw it. A figure, silhouetted against the start of sunrise. It came closer slowly, the shape becoming clearer. Female. Petite. And wild, curly hair.

Sirius's heart was skipping manically and he found he couldn't contain himself any longer. Waiting for her to get to the doorstep wasn't going to work. He ran to the door and opened it and looked across the lawn.

There she was, mere yards away. She wore a loose blue cotton v-neck and dark denims with tennis shoes. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail that swung as she walked.

She was magnificent. Almost exactly the same as he remembered, only with a few barely noticeable laugh lines and extremely pale skin. And maybe her hair was an inch or two shorter as well.

The world didn't stop, but Sirius wished it did so he could savor her image. She'd halted in her walk and stared back at him.

Sirius was shaking with anticipation. He could not hold back. He started forward, faster this time. And she did the same. Before they realized it, they were running at each other, only stopping when there was two inches of space between them.

Hands trembling, Sirius very slowly, very carefully brought his fingertips to her face. Hermione shuddered in response and closed her eyes shut, hard. Sirius felt his shakes get worse as he ran his fingers back, into her hair, digging his fingers into her ponytail. Closing his own eyes, he relished the softness of each stranding. Tipping forward, he pressed his forehead to hers and took a deep breath, inhaling her scent.

She smelt even better than he remembered.

"You're here," he rasped, opening his eyes. Hers were still shut, but she still cried, the tears squeezing out from her eyelashes and dribbling down her soft, milky cheeks.

"I am," she answered, her voice like music even when it was rough with tears.

Sirius didn't know what to say next. "I missed you" didn't even begin to cover it, didn't do his despair justice.

"I…wasn't sure you were real," he said, running his nose along hers affectionately.

Her hands placed themselves lightly on his chest. They were as tiny as he remembered.

Her tears came faster. "I…am so…sorry," she stressed, sounding distraught.

"Shh," he murmured, pressed his cheek to hers, relishing in her warmth and scent. "It wasn't your fault. It was never your fault."

She gave a short sob. "I couldn't…"

"You tried," Sirius said, knowing she was talking about James and Lily. "Even though you were dying, you tried."

Hermione's hands went to his face, touching his brow, his temples, his cheeks, his lips. As if she was rememorizing every one of his features in detail. And as she did, he felt something very cool and hard scrape his jaw.

Brow furrowed, Sirius took her left hand and found the culprit. Sitting on her ring finger…

"You kept it?" he said, eyes wide.

"I never took it off," she whispered.

Sirius cradled her left hand with both of his, holding it to his heart. "I…" He trailed off, unsure of exactly what to say, but his heavily throbbing heart spoke for him.

Hermione swallowed before bravely saying, "Kiss me."

He did. Leaning down, he touched his mouth to hers cautiously. Then she levered herself onto her toes, pressing their mouths firmer together. A tremor rocked through Sirius, so much that his attempt to taking down Hermione's hair was not nearly as smooth as it was twelve years ago. But once her curls were down, he plunged his fingers in, twisting his hands around her locks, yanking her forward even further as their kiss deepened.

Hermione marveled at his freshly shaven jaw and soft hair, the scent of aftershave and the taste of peppermint. If it weren't for the jutting ribs and too-sharp cheekbones, he was almost just the same as she left him. Only older – and obviously so. Azkaban took a toll on him. This thirty-four-year-old man looked like a roughened forty. His youth was stolen.

She didn't have room for anger at Peter Pettigrew for the moment. She was too caught up in Sirius Black in the same way he was caught up with her.

Two prisoners, finally home.

…~oOo~…

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. So how was the reunion? 3. If you had to choose – where would you end this story? Would you end it here, would you end it when the Other Hermione goes through time? Or would you end it at the end of the war?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	53. The Price We Pay

A/N. I've come to a conclusion. This chapter will only be about five more chapters long… I know, it's very sad, but I PROMISE A HAPPY ENDING STILL.

Thanks AGAIN to **mh21** (I feel like she's practically a co-writer with how much I credit and thank her) for giving me the perfect destination for Hermione and Sirius's getaway/hiding place.

In case you've forgotten, in this story, Sirius doesn't die at the Battle of the Department of Mysteries. AND this chapter is going to be SUPER LONG. So strap yourself in, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

I'VE MALE PARTS: Oh my goodness, your review made my day! That is so awesome you've been reading this with your brother – I hope you both have been enjoying it! The reason why I am flipping out is because my brother and I used to read the Harry Potter books aloud to each other, so your review brought fond memories of him (: Thank you so much for reviewing and I hope you and your brother enjoy this update!

…~oOo~…

Chapter Fifty-Three: The Price We Pay

Sirius scrubbed his hands down his face and let out a long breath. He rubbed his neck and stared absently out the window at the beach. It was his and Hermione's current hiding place – Cancun. Their little shack by the water was a tiny paradise. The sand was white, the palm trees offered plenty of shade for his fair-skinned girl and not far away they saw the huge, colorful villas of the rich and famous. They weren't an eyesore like you'd think – they were very pretty, the architecture unique. And Sirius was happy to see any buildings as long as they were surrounded by open, blue skies.

He was perched on the edge of his bed after having borrowed a colorful toucan-looking bird to send Harry a letter. There was something suspicious happening at Hogwarts. He was so relieved Hermione wasn't there anymore. The Tri-Wizard tournament meant almost a hundred extra people at the school that could pose a risk to Hermione's secrecy and safety. Not that he was thrilled that Harry was there – but Sirius could only control so much.

Sirius looked over at Hermione. She was lying on her belly, the sheet fell around her hips, her lovely, bare back exposed. A collection of freckles on her shoulder blade were dark against her pale skin. He wanted to reach out and touch her, wake her up and kiss her, make love to her – but she needed her rest.

Soon, though, he didn't need to wake her. He heard her rustling and watched as she began wiggling. Hermione's muscles bunched and relaxed and she let out a soft moan. Sirius smiled slightly, feeling a little nervous. He hadn't been nervous around a girl since he hit puberty. But Hermione always made him nervous. Sirius looked down at his bare feet, smiling to himself.

Hermione awoke, blinking blearily, until Sirius's back came into view. He was awake. She often found him awake in the middle of the night, writing Remus or Harry a letter or just staring out the window. Sometimes swimming, sometimes doing push-ups even.

Hermione pulled herself up onto her knees and scooted right behind him, resting her hands on his shoulders and pressing her cheek to his back. His skin was warm.

"Are you okay?" Hermione murmured sleepily, massaging his tense muscles.

Sirius nodded.

"I'm sorry for falling asleep so fast," she said quietly, her voice a soft hum. "You gave me quite the work out." She grinned to herself.

"I'm sorry if I was…too rough," Sirius said, sounding tentative and a little worried.

"'Too rough' isn't how I'd describe it," Hermione said, shaking her head. "Passionate, though, definitely… Stop worrying, Sirius. I'm right here. You'll have me for a long time. Stop thinking every little thing is going to make me disappear."

Sirius sighed. "I know, love. This is all still very surreal to me. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up on that moldy cot in my cell with your initials scratched all over my wall."

Hermione's heart gave a pang of sorrow. She rested her chin on his shoulder, trying to get a glimpse at his face, but his recently cut hair covered his eyes. She'd wanted to cut it back to the length it was before their incarcerations, but he'd wanted it a bit longer. Now the tips touched the base of his neck in the back. He ran his hands through it so often – Hermione knew it was because he was still surprised to have clean hair – that it was always pushed back from his face and rested all on the back of his neck.

Hermione's hands reached around to his front, one palm on her stomach and the other on his chest. Giving him a hug from the back, hoping to distract him from his melancholy with squishing her breasts against him, she said, "Let's get married."

She felt Sirius's laughed lowly and he raked his hands back through his hair then, pushing it from his eyes. She saw his smirk. "No," he said, smiling.

"I'm serious," Hermione said, scratching him lightly with her nails.

"Oh, how our roles have been reversed," Severus chuckled, turning to meet her eyes. "You know why we can't."

"So what if it won't be legal? So what if you're still on the run and the Wizarding world thinks I'm dead and the Muggle world thinks I'm a fourteen-year-old girl? I've worn this engagement ring for thirteen years," she said, entwining her left hand with his. "I was wrong to deny you all those years ago. I want to make up for it."

Sirius kissed her knuckles. "When I marry you, it will be in front of our friends and the people we care about. And it will be real. Legal and binding. My name will be cleared, you will have taken up where you left off when you fell through time, and the war will be over for good. We will be allowed to live our life in peace without ever having to worry about our safety or that of our children."

Hermione couldn't help but smile. The future he painted with words was so beautiful. Closing her eyes, she asked, not for the first time, "How many children will we have?"

"As many as we're blessed with," he answered, the same answer he'd given her for the last few months.

"And what will their names be?"

Sirius smiled softly. "We'll name our son James. And our daughter Lily."

Hermione giggled. "I think you'll have to fight Harry for those names."

"Then maybe they'll be middle names," Sirius said, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles and the back of her hand, twisting her ring absently. "What do you want to name our children?"

Hermione thought about it. "Maybe… Jean, after my mother. Or Robert for my dad."

"Robert is such a boring name," Sirius said. "It's even worse if he's called Bob. How cruel is that?"

Outright laughing now, Hermione went on. "Well, I think it's better than say… 'Sirius'. I mean, can you imagine all of the jokes?" she said pointedly.

"Of course I know all the jokes, I've made most of them," Sirius said, mockingly indignant. Spinning around so fast she barely saw it and pinning her to the bed, Sirius was leaning over her in an instant. "Are you making fun of my name?" he said mischievously.

"Perhaps," Hermione taunted.

"And 'Hermione' is any better, is it?" he teased, hands gripping his hips and pulling them to his.

"Perhaps not," Hermione conceded with a giggle.

"In truth, you like my name," Sirius said knowingly, his eyes glittering. "I have proof."

"Do you?" Hermione challenged.

"Oh, yes. If you didn't, there'd be no good reason why you scream it so frequently," Sirius said with a hungry growl, lunging for her throat and nibbling her until she was pink. Her hands went to his hair as she tipped her head back.

"Mmm," she moaned. "_Sirius_…"

Against her pulse point, Sirius chuckled roughly and said, "I told you so."

…

"Welcome home, lovebirds," Remus said with a smile as Hermione and Sirius walked into the sitting room where he sat with a cup of tea. "How was the holiday?"

"Marvelous," Hermione answered.

"I do have to say that I'm relieved to see you having some color again, Hermione," Remus said. "A definite improvement over the ghost look."

Hermione shrugged and plopped down onto the sofa. "It's a side-effect of being stuck indoors for twelve years."

"You can say that again," Sirius said, sitting down beside her.

The second his bum hit the cushion, Dandy was on Sirius's lap. "Well, hello, baby girl," Sirius cooed at the half-kneazle, who purred and pushed her head into his palm forcefully. "You missed Daddy, didn't you?"

Remus nodded. "I think she did. She didn't eat well the entire time you were away."

Hermione hefted Dandy onto her own lap. "You're right, she is a little lighter. That's alright, we'll just set out some more cream for her to make up for the calories. Right, darling?" Hermione said, scratching the feline's head.

"Right," Sirius agreed.

"I was talking to the cat," Hermione said with a smirk. "Not everything is about you, Sirius."

Remus laughed. "Well, things really are back to the way they were, aren't they?"

"Almost," Hermione said with a nod, resting her head on Sirius's shoulder. "Almost."

…~oOo~…

"I kept all of your things," Hermione said the day they moved into Grimauld Place. "I didn't think you were entirely ready for it before…" She was obviously hesitant. "I haven't looked at a lot of it, you see. I didn't want to smudge anything or find anything you didn't want seen."

The trunk Hermione kept with her for over a decade sat on the bed in front of Sirius. It was the same trunk he'd used at Hogwarts and the same trunk that he kept all of his most precious items in when they lived at the Den. It was worn around the edges, the clasps rusting, but it was still perfect. He'd run away from his parents with that trunk, brought only its contents and nothing more with him to the Potters.

To see it again was a bit of a shock. He'd assumed it got lost over the years.

He should have known Hermione would have kept it.

Sirius ran his hand over the top of it, over his initials marking it. "Should I open it?" he asked.

"Only if you're ready," Hermione said. "It's been two years since your escape. It hasn't been too long, so if you want to put it away for a bit…"

"No," Sirius rasped, reaching for the clasps. "Now is as good a time as any." With a small metallic click, he pushed open the lid and had to smile.

It was an utter mess.

Quidditch magazines and articles were all over, an unfolded pair of boxers, his Gryffindor tie from Seventh Year, a shoebox. The shoebox. He reached eagerly for the shoebox and wrenched open the lid, blowing away the dust.

All of his favorite things were in that box. The Snitch that James had stolen that Sirius had then stolen from him. A whoopee cushion. Stacks of pictures. He picked up the pictures and started to shuffle through them. Most of them were of him and Hermione. The one of the bucket of slime falling on his head was there, along with the photo of him carrying and spinning her on the day of their picnic.

He dropped onto the bed heavily when he got to the ones of him and the rest of the Marauders.

Hermione saw his mood shift very quickly. His eyes flashed with hatred and he shuffled through the box, knowing exactly what he was looking for, and digging out a pocket knife. He flipped it open and tried to stab it through Peter's face.

"No!" Hermione said, grabbing away the pictures and catching his wrist. "No, you mustn't, Sirius."

"Why the fuck not?" he growled.

"Because, despite everything, despite his horrid, horrid betrayal – he was once your friend, and it would be a shame to destroy these pictures, because Lily and James are in them too," Hermione said. "James and Lily don't deserve the pictures of them to be destroyed."

"Hermione…" he groaned, not sure what to say, not sure how to express what he felt.

"Sirius, take a deep breath for me, please," Hermione said, placing the pictures carefully back in the box, like they were glass. She ran her fingers through his hair, trying to calm him down. "The Order will be here soon, you must calm down."

It took a moment, but he nodded and took a deep breath.

"Good," Hermione said. "Let's look at the happier things, shall we?" She sat down next to him with the box in her lap. "Let's look. A harmonica. A bowtie. A…" Her voice trailed off. She stared down into the cardboard in wonder. "How…?"

Sirius looked over. Lying in the box, looking fresh as ever, was a dandelion, bright yellow. He smiled.

"That was from the Quidditch pitch," he explained. "They were enchanted dandelions from a textbook Remus found. I kept one, hoping it would last."

Hermione cradled the flower delicately in her palm. It was so pretty, so delicate and…

Hermione gave a squeal when she saw the next object in the box. "Merlin, Sirius! Tell me that's not what I think it is!"

"A lock of hair you mean?" Sirius said, picking up the blonde curl. "Because that's what it is."

"Goodness, Sirius, whose is that?"

A sad look came over Sirius. "Marlene's."

Hermione blinked. "Er… pardon?"

"McKinnon," he clarified.

"I figured that out. But why do you have it?"

"She sent it to me on Valentine's Day," he said with a sigh. "Final Year. She was a bit smitten with me at the time."

Hermione felt sad too. "You know I was never fond of her, but I still feel horrible about her and her family…"

Sirius nodded. "She was so young. We all were."

Hermione paused. "If you don't mind me asking…"

"Why I kept it?" Sirius finished for her, looking down at the soft blonde curl thoughtfully. "Well, at the time I'd planned to get rid of it, but then I got distracted. Mostly by you. It sat in my bedside drawer until we left Hogwarts and you left me for the first time. Then Marlene and I took up and I saw no reason why I should get rid of it. After all, it seemed terribly romantic to hold onto it all that time to find our way back to each other again. Marlene felt the same. And then, after that… I completely forgot about it." He shrugged then looked over at Hermione, whose eyes glazed over as she stared down into the box in – what looked to be – horror.

"This is…"

Sirius nodded. "A Time-Turner. You're quite intimate with this type of device, aren't you?" He picked up the little white gold piece with the swirling etchings and silver sand. "Nicked it from my father's office when I ran away. I thought it would come in handy. It definitely did. I used to use it to do things that I would have missed out on when I had detentions. Like when we set off that explosion of slime in McGonagall's class, but I wanted to go to Hogsmeade with Marlene on the day of the detention, so I just –"

"It is, isn't it?" Hermione said hollowly.

"What is?"

"It's my Time-Turner," she said, the blood draining from her face.

"The one you used to save me?" Sirius asked, feeling clueless.

She shook her head. "No. The one that broke. The one that… brought me to you. It'd been in your library and…" Her eyes got really wide. "Good God! Of course! How did I not realize it before? I feel so incredibly stupid!" She shot straight up off the bed and began to pace.

"What is it, love?" Sirius asked, his brow furrowing in concern.

"When the Time-Turner broke, I landed in Dumbledore's office, and he'd explained that Time-Turners have a failsafe set by the owner so that in the case of it ever breaking or malfunctioning, one would arrive in a certain place at a certain time to avoid any extreme jumps.

"You and I must have changed the failsafe to have me land in Dumbledore's office twenty years prior because it had already happened! I knew it's what it had to be set to! And the book – of course the book, the last copy that I tried to destroy – I put it on that shelf, hid the Turner inside… oh, it's all so clear, so _perfect_!"

"I'm a little lost," Sirius said.

"Sirius, don't you see? I am the reason I went back in time! I orchestrated the entire thing – because I had no choice! It'd already happened! Time travel runs on a loop and…oh, goodness, why hadn't I seen this before?"

"You mean to say… you did this to yourself?" Sirius clarified.

"Yes!"

"Okay, well, we'll set the failsafe now and –"

"No!" Hermione said, too loudly. She checked herself and began again. "No, no, we can't."

"But you just said."

Hermione was shaking her head, but held up a finger while she covered her mouth to cough. "Just a moment," she said and then coughed some more.

"Are you okay?" he asked, eyes wide.

"It's… the… Time Traveler's Curse…" she said through her wheezing. "Or at least, that's what I've come to call it."

It clicked for Sirius. "Any conscious decision to change the future will result in the time traveler's death," he recited. "Hermione… you don't mean to say that you're thinking about –"

"Please, don't change the failsafe!" Hermione said, holding onto the dresser to balance herself as she got dizzy.

"But then you won't –"

"Exactly, that's the point."

"Hermione!" Sirius snapped, getting frustrated. "Stop it. I'm changing the failsafe, we'll plant the Turner and the book in the library – and that's the end of it."

"You don't understand –"

"I understand just fine!" Sirius half-shouted. "You think that if you don't travel back in time that the timeline will change for the better – but it won't! James, Lily, Marlene, Fabian and Gideon… they're all dead! I was in Azkaban for twelve years! Remus was homeless for the better part of a decade! Harry was an orphan! This is the world we live in, Hermione. It will do no good to play God or hero, or whatever it is you're doing. You don't know everything." He slowed down and took a deep breath.

Hermione was still pale, dizzy, and faint-looking, but the coughing had faded.

"Now, until your illness has gone away and I know you're not thinking about changing the future anymore… this is going to stay with me." Sirius put the chain over his head and tucked the Turner under his shirt. "The Order is going to be here soon, so just… stay hidden, alright." He turned, starting to leave their bedroom.

Shaking her head despondently, Hermione rasped, "I'm not trying to play God or be a hero, Sirius."

He stopped in his tracks and turned to watch her. She was leaning heavily against the wall, like the effort of standing was too much.

"I'm being selfish," she confessed. "I just want to forget all of it. I want my part in the First War to disappear. I want to never have met James and Lily and Alice and Frank… I want the be part of none of it."

Sirius's face hardened and his shoulders tensed. "You want to have never fallen in love with me." It wasn't a question. An accusation.

Hermione's tears glistened with tears. "If it's the price to I have to pay for not having to watch them and know they were going to die, to not be utterly useless against it…"

Everything felt numb for Sirius. He didn't have any real reaction to her confessing that she'd trade their love for her the lifting of her guilt. He didn't immediately feel angry or sad… just cold. And numb.

He didn't have anything to say either. He just turned and left the room and went downstairs to the Order meeting.

…~oOo~…

"I brought you your ruddy Polyjuice and now you refuse to use it?" Severus snapped.

The effort was astronomical to just roll onto her hip to face her old friend. He was looming over her while she lay, weak and useless, in her bed. She hadn't left her bed for days and Sirius was no longer sharing a bed with her. Not since they went through his old trunk and not since her confession.

"I had this plan… this notion… to masquerade as Marlene and attend the Order meetings," Hermione said, her pale lips twisting into a smirk. "But I don't have the energy to do much of anything."

"Just tell Black the date he needs to set the failsafe to and you can finally get better," Severus commanded.

"No," Hermione said stubbornly.

"Hermione…" Severus leaned down, looking her straight in the eyes severely. "If that day comes and goes and the younger you does not travel back in time… you will be dust instantaneously."

"I'm well aware of that," Hermione said. "Everything will be the way it was supposed to."

"Don't be stupid."

"Time travel isn't natural," Hermione said firmly. "It's killed so many people."

"And if I remember correctly it also saved a certain escaped convict," Severus said sharply.

She smiled weakly. "I was so young. So innocent and naïve in my plan. The purity of my mission is what saved that from backfiring. I thought I was so very clever…"

"Well, you're being an idiot now."

"I think I'll miss you most."

"Stop it," Severus snarled.

Hermione shook her head. "I love Sirius with my entire being, but you… I was right two years ago. I couldn't do it without you. I should have never left Hogwarts."

"_You still have time to fix this_," he stressed through clenched teeth.

Hermione's face contorted painfully at his choice of words. "No. I've had too much time. Far too much. I've lived two lifetimes. I'm done."

"You are being dreadfully selfish for a Gryffindor."

"Maybe I was meant to be in Slytherin," Hermione said, her eyebrow quirking challengingly.

"I know what you are doing and you will not distract me," he said with conviction. "You are many things, Hermione, but you were never a Slytherin."

"Severus, I need you to deliver a message once I'm gone."

"Absolutely not."

"Please, Severus. You're the only one who can. It's for Regulus," she whispered. "I need you to tell him that I forgive him for writing the book. He was right – it was always going to be written."

"You can tell him yourself, you foolish girl."

"Too proud, I'm afraid," Hermione said. "A Gryffindor fault. It will be easier for you just to tell him when I'm dead."

"I won't remember to tell him. I won't remember anything at all," Severus said, ready to rip his own hair out. "You don't realize the ramifications of what you are doing. You won't just die – you'll be erased from history altogether. It will be like how Dumbledore's contact from the Prophet erased you from all the papers and posters – only multiplied by a hundred and very, very real.

"You will obliterate this timeline. It will right itself. None of us will remember you except for as the know-it-all Granger who runs around with her two goons. There will be consequences. More deaths, less deaths, an epic holocaust, world peace – anything. It's completely unpredictable. Something you did as a result of your time travel could be the only thing keeping the Wizarding world alive – you could extinguish magic in England.

"Or… nothing could happen at all," he said. "Maybe everything will be exactly the same minus one you. There is no way to know and you are exposing us to all of those possibilities."

Hermione stared at Severus before saying, "I'm just one girl, Severus. One. I couldn't possibly do all that."

"But are you willing to risk it?" Severus asked darkly.

Hermione reached out for Severus's hand. Her hands were so tiny. Severus always thought the size of her hands was freakish, unusual, but really she was just a small person. And what she was saying made sense for a moment. How could one girl, so small and weak and a bit pathetic, have such an effect of the world?

"Lily could live, Severus," Hermione confided. "Somehow, some way… Lily could survive. So, yes… that _is_ worth the risk."

…~oOo~…

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What will happen with Hermione's illness? 3. What are your current predictions?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	54. A Change in the Timeline

A/N. DON'T PANIC (hehe, another H2G2 reference). There WILL be a happy ending, I promise! Or at least a kind-of happy ending. There is always sadness on the path to victory, of course.

Also – Hermione IS being very selfish. But I just cannot imagine what it must have been like to know all of your dearest friends were going to die and not being able to do anything about it. That is unimaginable, and I think that seriously left a dark mark (not THE Dark Mark) on Hermione's soul. She will never get over that.

Okay – this chapter we're going to find out a little bit more about the effects of time travel. REMEMBER: Only a CONSCIOUS DECISION to change the future on Hermione's part will lead to her destruction. But, perhaps, if it was an accident…?

Remember, this story is AU in a few ways. Sirius didn't die in the Department of Mysteries and for some reason, unbeknownst to you readers yet, Severus is among the Order even after Dumbledore's death. Shouldn't they hate him? Shouldn't he be an enemy?

Or, maybe, something Hermione accidentally triggers alters Dumbledore's death…?

READ ON TO FIND OUT!

Curious: I am on my way to 20. Why do you ask?

…~oOo~…

Chapter Fifty-Four: A Change in the Timeline

Severus Snape did not like Sirius Black – this was no secret. But no one was privy to the fact that he liked the younger Black, Regulus, even less. Slytherins never trusted one another, to start, and Severus got a foul taste in his mouth whenever he even thought of his fellow Death Eaters.

There was plenty of resentment there, too. Severus defected and was forced into being a spy. Regulus defected and got to fake his death and live a comfortable life with little woes. He hadn't done any work for Dumbledore since he had to stalk Hermione while Severus was treated with Crucios from the Dark Lord and snotty First Years at Hogwarts.

So, yes. Severus Snape hated Regulus Black. But even more than he hated Regulus, he wanted Hermione to live. He was not prepared to have his past rewritten. Even if it meant a very small possibility to Lily surviving.

Because if Hermione sacrificed herself and Lily didn't live… then what was the point? Then he lost two women he cared about – in very different ways – and was left lonely and even surlier.

Hermione was being selfish by destroying herself. He was being selfish by saving her.

Regulus lived in a hut on a cliff in the middle of nowhere. It was protected by natural forces – the dense, dangerous forest on one side, and the rocky waters and high cliff on the other – as well as being secret kept. Severus was lucky enough to be the secret keeper and barge in on the lazy idiot whenever he liked.

Severus didn't knock. He never did.

He found Regulus drinking coffee and listening to the radio.

Regulus was very physically fit after all those years. All he had to do was exercise, really, and all the flying in his Animagus form burnt a lot of calories. His hair was getting long, falling into his face, it having been quite a while since Hermione cut his hair. He hadn't shaven in a long while either, it seemed, with his scruffy black beard.

The hut didn't smell like a bed of roses, exactly. After all, it wasn't as if Regulus ever had company.

"Come to bother me about something?" Regulus inquired, raising an eyebrow at Severus from his place on the couch.

"It is as if you read my mind," Severus said blandly.

"That's your thing," Regulus just said, sinking deeper into the old, flat cushion. "I just know that none of you come around unless you want something."

"Hermione has been occupied as of late," Severus answered.

"I know, I know," Regulus said, waving it off. "With my big brother. Are they still in the tropics? Lucky bastards."

Severus scowled. "No, they returned many months ago. Hermione is not occupied with your brother – she's dying."

Regulus's eyes went round and wide as planets. "No… Hermione can't die. She's too protected and too tough."

"She's doing it to herself," Severus said. "It's to do with what she's been calling the –"

"Time Traveler's Curse," Regulus filled in for him, nodding in understanding. "She wants to change the future."

Severus nodded

Regulus punched the arm of the sofa in frustration. "Stupid girl! Does she know how hard I worked to keep her alive because of that stupid curse? Dammit!"

Severus wanted to smack Regulus upside the head, remind him that this wasn't about him as his efforts, but about a woman's life. But he didn't. He took control of his temper. The sooner he got what he needed, the sooner he could leave.

"That is no matter," Severus said, trying to regain his attention. "I understand you stole Hermione's journals."

"Yes, about…fourteen years ago, I think. Maybe fifteen. Why?"

"Do you still have them?"

Regulus nodded. "In the closet. You need them?"

"I do."

…~oOo~…

Hermione woke up feeling fantastic.

Which was not good.

She wrenched upright in her bed without a single ache in her body. She looked down at herself. Her body looked mostly the same, but maybe not as parchment white. Hermione scrambled to her bedside drawer, yanking out her hand mirror and examining her reflection.

The dark circles were gone. The light was back in her eyes. Her lips were pink again instead of blue.

"No!" Hermione yelled, throwing down the mirror and jumping out of bed. She sprinted out of her bedroom and started calling out everyone's names. "Sirius! Remus!" She stomped down the stairs in nothing but her camisole and panties in her panic. She ignored the sneer she got from Walburga Black's portrait and went to the kitchen where she heard the kettle whistling.

At the table she found not only Sirius and Remus, but Severus as well.

"_What have you done_?" she demanded, her heart banging in her chest painfully.

Severus held up a leather-bound book. Resting on the table in front of him was a Time-Turner.

"My journal…"

"To right the timeline – something you refused to do – I had to hunt down the date you landed in myself," Severus said dryly. "Once the failsafe was set correctly, your place in the timeline was restored."

No. No, no, no!

"I can't believe you did this!" Hermione exclaimed in terror. "I told you to let me die!"

"_Goddammit, Hermione_!" Sirius bellowed, making everyone in the room jump. "You know better than to think we'd let you! This is for yours and everyone else's good, for Christ sake. Stop being such a fucking baby."

"Sirius…" Remus cautioned.

"_You don't know what it's like_!" Hermione screamed. "You may feel like it was your fault, Sirius, but it wasn't! It was mine! I watched them all die and did nothing about it because I believed it was for the greater good! _It wasn't_!"

"You would have died," Sirius snapped.

"Even before I knew that – I ignored all of it, turned a blind eye, let it happen," Hermione groaned, dragging her fingers back through her hair violently, ripping out a few strands. "I cannot… I can't… live like this." Her voice cracked as the rest of her started shaking. "Please, I can't."

"Well, now you have to," Sirius said tightly. "So get used to it."

…~oOo~…

Dumbledore looked down at the journal and the girlish writing in it. Regulus had left one behind when he left for his hide-out. And Dumbledore couldn't help but believe it was the most curious one. It contained the entries from when she was first imprisoned at Hogwarts.

The one he read analyzed the Professor Snape she knew from Before to the Severus that was her jailer and friend. About how she felt like Severus being a potions professor for so long only harmed his ranking among the Death Eaters once Voldemort returned. That the Death Eaters were all suspicious of his loyalty because of the years he worked under and answered to Dumbledore while their Lord was missing.

Dumbledore set down the journal and considered this. Death Eaters, and Voldemort himself, were suspicious of where Severus's loyalties lie.

How could he secure Severus's ranking as an inner circle member? How could he assure Severus's survival as spy?

Something had to be staged. An event that would leave no room for doubt.

He would think more on this later. For now he had to do something about the Ring. And the Stone.

With a small smile on his face, Dumbledore slid the Ring onto his finger in the hopes to see his dear sister one more time.

…

"In your original timeline, how did I die?"

Hermione choked on her tea. He knew? Hermione's eyes widened at Dumbledore and said, "It was… it was never confirmed, sir. It was…very mysterious. They assumed a sort of curse because of your –"

"Hand, yes," Dumbledore finished for her, holding up his blackened fingers. Hermione cringed. It looked painful. "Don't worry, dear, I assure you that I can barely feel a thing. No pain, only numbness."

There was a length of silence. "Sir, I…"

"You are Severus's only friend, I hope you realize how important that is," Dumbledore went on. "You mean a lot to him, though he does not show it often. And you mean a lot to him, something he is very aware of."

Hermione nodded.

"There will be a change, Hermione," Dumbledore said. "For the first time in a very long time, you will be surprised by this history."

Hermione grew worried, her heart skipping a thud or two. Her throat went dry. "You mean…"

"It is for Severus's safety," Dumbledore said firmly. "That is all I need you to know. You must have faith in him, no matter what."

"I'll always have faith in Severus," Hermione said confidently. "I love him very much."

"Good," Dumbledore said with a breath. He stirred his tea with his spoon absently. "Right now, at this point in our war, love is a valuable commodity. Valuable, indeed."

…~oOo~…

Why did this happen? And how?

Why hadn't Hermione seen this coming? The cryptic conversation with Dumbledore… she should have read between the lines. But she thought he was wrong about a change. She didn't think he'd be able to do it.

How could Dumbledore change the timeline but not her? How could he die to alter the war, but she could not?

The Order was both mourning and in an outrage downstairs. Hermione had observed as Marlene for a while, but she could not stand it. The things they were saying about Severus, the awful, awful things… She'd made an excuse and left early, but not after having a word with Sirius where they argued in private before she stomped away and he returned to the meeting, even hotter under the collar than before.

And now she found herself missing her friend desperately. She needed his council, needed to know that he was okay and not yet lynched by furious Dumbledorian followers.

She knew what happened. Knew why Dumbledore did it. He was going to die anyway and Draco was ordered to kill him. Severus's place as a Death Eater was rocky and doubted. To save Severus from further suspicion and to save Draco from becoming a murder, Dumbledore had just sped up his inevitable death…

_My God, I can barely breathe_, Hermione thought.

"Severus," Hermione whispered to herself, her chest aching. She went to the window of her bedroom, glancing over her shoulder once to make sure no one was watching.

"Expecto Patronum," she said quietly. Silver threads spouted from her wand, forming an otter. It wasn't as glowing or strong as it once was, but her head was heavy. "Send Severus a message," Hermione told her Patronus. "Tell him that everyone is out for his blood and to be safe. And that I have faith in him."

With a little nod, her otter danced out of her window and out into the night.

…~oOo~…

"So… he did it because he told him to? You realize how barmy that sounds, don't you, Hermione?"

"I know how it sounds, Sirius, but it's the truth!" Hermione said, maybe a bit too loud. "I had tea with Dumbledore before his… before his death. He told me that there would be a change and to have complete faith in Severus. And I do!"

Understanding dawned in Sirius's eyes. "That's what you've been doing at night in the library. Writing him. You've been in contact with Snape!"

"Because he's innocent!"

"He killed Dumbledore!"

"On Dumbledore's Orders! It's not above that man, you know! He ordered me to stand back and watch people die, so is this really so farfetched?"

"This is different!" Sirius shouted.

Hermione stood up from her seat at the kitchen table, abandoning her supper. "As you so eloquently put, 'Get over it'. Because Severus has been brewing the potion to de-age me when the Other me gets sent back," she said sharply. "And he's going to have to hand-deliver it since neither of us can leave the house. He's one of us, Sirius, now stop being petty and stubborn and foolish."

Angry, Sirius also stood up from the table and trailed after her. He spat, "Oh, just be honest, Hermione. You've got feelings for that slimy snake."

Hermione gasped. "I do not! How dare you!"

"What else am I supposed to think?" he demanded, spreading his arms wide, bewildered and irritated beyond belief. "You spend more time writing to him and yapping about his innocence than you do talking with me. I don't even know what we are anymore!"

"You're the one who changed bedrooms, Sirius, not me," Hermione hissed. "So you should be explaining to me what we are, since you're the one who abandoned me!"

"Excuse me for not wanting to watch the love of my life kill herself because it's more important for her to rid herself of guilt than be with me!"

"That's never what it was about!"

"I'm practically fucking _quoting _you!"

Hermione made a very loud sound of frustration. "I was trying to save James and Lily!"

"Oh, don't start that bullshit again!" Sirius said snidely. "I don't think you really believed that would have saved them. You were trying to erase yourself because you felt useless and small and pathetic. The Hermione I love is none of those things, thank you." Sirius gripped her shoulders, staring down at her with wide lost, puzzled, and wrathful eyes. "What happened to _my Hermione_? Where is she?"

"She died when you wouldn't let me," Hermione snapped, yanking away from him and turning towards the stairs. "I guess it's a good thing you wouldn't marry me!" she called out to him spitefully, not even looking at him.

"Thank Merlin you wouldn't either!" Sirius shouted back, wanting to punch a wall. So he did. The wall gave way, making a large fist-sized hole.

"You better fix that!" Hermione screamed from somewhere upstairs.

…~oOo~…

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. How will this change things? 3. Predictions?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	55. The Last Gift

A/N. A lot of you hate me. It happens, you know? But I promised you a kind-of happy ending! What more could you want?

This is the last chapter before the epilogue, just so you know! THIS IS THE END, PEOPLE.

A reader asked about the time that has lapsed between Hermione and Sirius's reunion and now. Those little squiggly marks indicate an amount of time. How much time really doesn't matter, but there ARE clues throughout that indicate what book we're in. Now we are in the last book because Dumbledore died at the end of Half-Blood Prince.

I was asked how I write so much and if I ever sleep (and how I find time with being a new mom). Answer: No, I do not sleep. I've been working on this Three Theory. Three hours of sleep a night, three cups of coffee a day, and I always take a shower with the setting on 3 – which is very cold. I have gone back to work, so I've been writing on my break and I write VERY fast, and then I write when the baby wakes me up because I can never get to sleep after that.

…~oOo~…

Chapter Fifty-Five: The Last Gift

Hermione was crying into her pillow like a teenage girl. She had no idea how everything had gotten so out of control. At least before Dumbledore died she knew how everything panned out until just before her time travel. But now things were falling apart very quickly. The fabric of her timeline was ripping right before her eyes.

She could do nothing about it.

Out of her hands. Everything was always out of her hands. She was ready to go mad.

Hermione heard the door creak open, but smelt the familiar scent of pine and sweat. Sirius must have gone for a run through the woods as Padfoot after their third screaming match that week. She wished she could have done the same, but she could not leave the house without being recognized. Not unless she was Marlene, but there were only a few strands of the girl's hair left and Hermione knew exactly the times that she needed them.

Sirius settled into the bed next to her. It was the first time they'd sat in the same bed in months. His body radiated warmth that Hermione missed, but she did not dare touch him. She just continued weeping into her pillow.

The bed squeaked under them as Sirius shifted until Hermione felt his heat over her. He was braced up on his elbows, head bent over close to her neck. Hermione felt the tickle of his hair.

"Why don't you wear the ring anymore?" he asked quietly, his voice hoarse.

"I always wear it," Hermione said, nasally from crying, turning her head. She took the chain out from under her shirt to show him where it dangled over her heart on the necklace. "When I was sick and lost all that weight it didn't fit on my finger anymore. I didn't want to lose it."

The tension left Sirius's body in a rush. He'd been so worried, so dreadfully worried…

"You thought I was leaving you," Hermione said. It wasn't a question. "I told you I wasn't going to."

Sirius rested his forehead on her shoulder. "I didn't want to lose you before it was time."

"Sirius, you won't lose me when I'm de-aged," Hermione told him, running a hand through his hair soothingly. "I've told you this. We'll just have to be discreet like we've always been."

Shaking his head, Sirius didn't say what he wanted to. He couldn't tell her the truth, not yet. Not until the last moment and she could do nothing to stop him.

"I am going to miss you," he whispered, nuzzling her neck.

"Silly boy," Hermione said with a smile through her tears. "No reason to be upset. I love you."

"I'm sorry for what I said…"

"It doesn't matter," Hermione said, turning over onto her back and cradling his head against her chest. He wound his arms around and under her waist, tugging her close until there was no space between their bodies. "None of it matters."

"I love you too," Sirius said, closing his eyes and listening to the solid beating of her heart. He'd truly miss that sound.

…~oOo~…

"Come now, Kingsley," Sirius said. "Surely we can find recruits and eyes on Dark Creatures elsewhere. I do not see the need to send Remus into the fray."

Hermione – disguised as Marlene, stood against the wall, watching on. She remembered this meeting. The eve of Bill and Fleur's wedding.

Sitting at the table, looking eager and attentive, was her younger self, sitting right beside Harry and Ron. Part of Hermione was excited to be with the two boys again, but she was also incredibly nervous. She didn't remember as much as she'd hoped. And she'd changed so much, they were surely going to be suspicious of her. It was a big risk, but a necessary one.

Remus looked absolutely exhausted as he said, "I appreciate your concern, my friend, but –"

"I agree," Hermione said, knowing that this at least was something she could change. "I agree with Black. There is no need to endanger Lupin."

Hermione felt her Younger Self's eyes on her, looking at her, obviously interested.

"I knew you and I thought alike, Marley," Sirius said, sending her a knowing wink.

Oh, the nerve of him, alluding to their most recent argument in front of an entire room of people. With pursed lips, Hermione responded in Marlene's melodic voice, "Don't be daft, Black, you just have a point for once in your life."

Hermione saw Harry whisper something to her Younger Self. Hermione racked her brains, trying to remember what he'd said, but she had no clue.

"Regardless," Remus joined in, "of either of your sentiments, I'll already began easing my way in." Nymphadora Lupin nee Tonk's hand rested on his shoulder and Remus brought his own to lie atop hers.

Hermione's expression didn't change, because this she remembered. But Sirius's jaw tightened.

"This is stupid," Sirius said.

"We all do what we need to, Sirius," Remus said kindly.

"But you've just become a father," Hermione said kindly.

Tonks said, "We know the sacrifices. I fought him many a night over it as well, but he is, as you know, quite stubborn." She gave Remus a fond smile, even though she didn't sound thrilled about the situation either.

Molly soon called an end to the meeting, claiming her children were far too meek and innocent to handle their favorite professor going to war. Kingsley officially adjourned the meeting and everyone began to disperse.

"Black, if I may have a word with you," Hermione said, hoping to slip out and talk to him without drawing suspicion.

Sirius followed her out the backdoor. They stood on the back porch and Sirius lit a cigarette while Hermione began to speak.

"The book and Turner are in the library?"

Sirius nodded, taking a long drag. "In the blue book section."

Hermione's nose scrunched up in distaste and Sirius snickered. She hated his library's method of organization. She'd tried fixing it countless time, only to go to the library the next morning to find all of her progress undone.

Hermione rubbed at her temples, feeling out of her depth.

"Darling, it will be okay," he said, even though secretly he knew it wouldn't.

"I know," Hermione said, feigning calm. "I'm just nervous about integrating myself back in with Harry and Ron. It will be strange. I've forgotten a lot – inside jokes, plans, secrets. It's been a very long time."

With a sigh, Sirius shook his head. "Don't worry about that. You'll be fine."

Hermione started chewing on her thumb, staring at Sirius's cigarette wistfully. She couldn't. She quit a long time ago. She would not start again, she refused. She'd rather bite her nails.

"Come here," Hermione said abruptly, walking closer to him and tipping up on her toes.

Sirius smiled and bent down the last inch to kiss her on the mouth, but then pulled away gently. "You're still Marlene," he explained.

"I don't care," Hermione said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I do," Sirius said.

"I need to soak up as much time with you as possible," Hermione said, "before I'm a teenager again and return to Harry and Ron."

"Can't you just wait a few moments, because kissing a dead girl isn't very high on my list of turn-ons," he said sardonically. "See, you're already turning back."

He was right. She felt her skim morphing, her body shortening, her hair darkening. Within moments, she was Hermione once more.

"There you are," Sirius said, adoration clear in his eyes, rubbing his thumb over her cheek. "My Hermione."

Hermione smirked. "My Sirius."

And he kissed her deeply. He dropped the cigarette behind her back so that his hands were free to touch him. Sirius needed this moment, this silent, personal goodbye. He catalogued every sensation. The softness of her mouth. The little sounds she made in her throat, like purring. How she always tasted like really sweet tea.

Sirius pushed her up against the side of the house, beckoning off the outer layers of her robes until she was in her camisole and denims. He felt her dip her hand into the back of his pants and he grinned. His little lioness was hungry for more than just snogging.

And he would give her what she wanted. He wouldn't deny her anything for the next twenty-four hours, because that's all they had left.

…~oOo~…

Hermione Apparated speedily the moment she saw her Younger Self leave the wedding. Their conversation went precisely as she remembered it, mostly because she was reciting it all like a script.

She came home to find Severus and Sirius arguing.

"Your plan is stupid, Black. Stupider than I would expect from you," Severus growled.

Hermione's brow furrowed. The plan was the same it had always been. He never objected to it before.

"Well, Snivellus, apparently you think too good of me," Sirius taunted.

"The potion is –"

"Dangerous, yes, we know. We know the risks, Snape, you've listed them for us a dozen times –"

Déjà vu, Hermione thought. Wait, no! She'd heard this conversation before!

"Severus!" Hermione whispered, grabbing his sleeve. "Hermione hears your voice – she can't know you're here." And she dragged him back, deeper into the house and away from the sitting room. "Sirius, go talk to Hermione!"

Sirius listened, hearing the Younger Hermione enter the house and nodded, walking towards the foyer.

She heard their voices, but they were muffled. All she caught was, "Hermione. You look beautiful, my dear. But shouldn't you be at Bill's wedding?"

Hermione turned to Severus. "Is that it?" she asked.

"Take caution," Severus said with a nod, pressing the vial into her palm. "It's extremely volatile."

Hermione nodded. "Of course. I'll be careful."

There was silence between them for a long time as they heard footsteps through the house.

Sirius walked into the kitchen, looking stone-faced and unfeeling. "She's in the library."

"I find the book fairly quick," Hermione told him. "It all happens very fast. You may want to go see if she's really gone. It can't be me just in case."

"Right," Sirius said, jogging back towards the stairs.

With a deep breath, Hermione said, "I better go get my dress. I've kept it all these years, but it hasn't seen sunlight for as long. It may need some sprucing up."

"Hermione," Severus said before she could go. "If something should happen to me… I want…" He couldn't seem to force the words out.

Hermione smiled softly at him. "I know, Severus. You don't have to say anything. It wouldn't be very Severus-like of you if you did."

Severus looked relieved. "Thank God."

She couldn't help but chuckle. "I'll see you on the other side," she said with a wink before leaving the kitchen towards her bedroom.

Severus frowned deeply. If Sirius went through that harebrained plan of his… he would kill him.

…

Standing in the library, Hermione scratched Dandy's head, clutching the irritated kneazle to her chest. "Goodbye, Dandy," she said fondly. "Even though you've never liked me, I have always loved you."

Sirius looked at the time. They had to do this quickly, before people started looking for Hermione at the wedding. He watched her intently as she put Dandy down and the cat lumbered off lazily, mewling and glaring.

With a deep breath and a forced smile, Hermione tipped back the potion and closed her eyes.

It stung. Everywhere, just this quick, hot burning feeling. Her bones were buzzing and shifting and Hermione fought back a small groan. When the heat faded and the shifting stopped, Hermione opened her eyes.

She looked down at herself. Her clothes were a little loose around the bust, and tight at the hips from the weight she lost, but for the most part she felt the same. It wasn't until she picked up her hand mirror that she was the real difference.

Her face was so young and smooth and tight. Hermione touched her cheek in wonder. And though her face looked young, there was a maturity in her eyes – a look that belonged on someone older. Ever-present guilt and mourning.

Ignoring her eyes, she started taking off her clothes, kicking off her shoes, and slipping into her red dress. Sirius helped her do up the back and she pinned up her hair quickly.

"How do I look?" Hermione asked, hearing her voice and finding it also different.

"As beautiful as the day I met you," he answered in wonder. "Literally."

Hermione smirked. "Indeed. Literally."

Sirius took a deep breath. This was it. This was the moment.

"Hermione, may I please see your wand," Sirius said, trying to be casual.

Confused but trusting, Hermione handed it over. "Why?"

Sirius's face was… devastated. He tucked her wand into his back pocket. "I'll give it back once I'm done."

"Done with what?" Hermione said hesitantly. "Sirius, you're freaking me out."

"Don't be freaked out, darling," Sirius said. "I just want to…give you one last gift before you go off."

Still puzzled, Hermione stepped forward and rested her palms on his chest. He seemed to flinch. "Sirius, what the hell is wrong?"

Sirius ran the back of his knuckles down her cheek, staring at her like he was seeing her for the first and last time. "You said it yourself. You can't live with the guilt. I'll make it so you don't have to, alright? It finally hit me the other week when you told me that I didn't know what it was like. And you're right, I don't. And time travel is unnatural… but that doesn't mean I can't set a few things right."

For some reason, Hermione felt a chill go through her. Whatever he was going to do… It wasn't going to make her happy.

"You're a marvelous actress," Sirius said with admiration. "Always wearing a smile, especially these last few weeks, but your eyes betray you. You're miserable, Hermione." His voice broke on her name and he took another breath.

And then Hermione started to cry. Because it was true.

"And that's why…" Sirius said slowly, "I have to take some of your memories."

"What?" Hermione gasped, her head snapping up and meeting his eyes, hers wide with horror. "What do you mean?"

"I'm going to give you my seat in the lifeboat, Hermione," he said, curling a hair around his trembling finger. "I am giving you the change to survive and live one… even if it is without me. Everything that happened when you time traveled – the deaths, the war, the lies… In a few minutes, none of it will ever have happened."

"No… Sirius, please, stop it," Hermione said, the tears coming fast now, dripping off her chin and nose. "All of those moments, those horrible, horrible moments, they make me who I am. They make me yours."

Sirius was fighting back the thickness in his throat and moisture in his eyes, but it was a futile battle. "You'll still be you and I'll still be me. We'll just never have been 'us'. You don't deserve to be a thirty-seven year old woman in a seventeen-year-old's body. You deserve so much more. A happy, normal life."

"And what about you?" Hermione implored, searching his eyes desperately for any hint that he might change his mind. "Don't you deserve to be happy?"

Heart-broken, Sirius shook his head. "I spent twelve years thinking you were a hallucination or dead. When I saw you again, alive, and got to spend the last few years with you all to myself... with only these memories, I will live and die as a happy man." With a deep, quaking breath, Sirius reached around behind her neck for the clasp of her necklace holding her engagement ring.

"I am going to take this," Sirius said, closing his hand around the ring. "I don't want you being confused."

Hermione's hands curled into the fabric of his shirt, feeling everything in her body grow cold and panicked. "Please, Sirius…" But she didn't know what to say.

"Someday, perhaps, I will attend your wedding. And you'll look beautiful in your dress and everyone's eyes will be on you - and my own eyes will only be part of the crowd. I'll be a passing thought, a fondness or eye-roll. And to me... you'll still be my stars and moon and everything."

"Why are you telling me this?" Hermione asked on a wrenching sob. "None of it is making me want you to wipe my memory."

"It's everything I've ever wanted to say to you. What I need to say to you before I miss my chance. If I don't make it clear to you how much I love you, even if you'll only know for a few moments more, I'd never forgive myself. It's selfish, really. But I've always been selfish when it came to you. I wanted you so desperately for so long and I finally have you. I always will. Right here." Sirius pressed her hand to his heart.

"The greatest gift," Sirius said as she grew watery in his vision, "I'll ever receive is to watch you grow up happily." He bent down and pressed his forehead to hers, holding both sides of her head firmly, lovingly, reverently. "Please, Hermione. Give me this gift. Let me give you back a life you had stolen. I love you so much that I need to let you go."

Hermione bawled. Hard. Gripping his shirt, her holy body rocked with each sob. Sirius's tears were more silent. He'd had his time to mourn this. He'd known it was going to happen. But he held her, let her cry, gave her time to realize that this was for the best.

"I love you," Hermione whispered desperately.

"I love you too," Sirius answered.

Their lips met. And before she could pull away, open her eyes, and try to convince him otherwise…

He touched the tip of his wand to her temple.

There was a bright flash of white light.

...

Hermione blinked away the spots of light in her vision. When it all cleared, she looked around. She was in the library at Grimauld Place.

Oh, that's right! The book that woman Marley was telling her about…

"Tea?" Sirius offered, but his tone was off. He didn't look his normal upbeat, immature self.

"Er – no. I should just find that book…"

"You couldn't find it," Sirius said, his tone low. "Are you alright?"

"I think so," Hermione said, unsure. "Just…there was this really bright light."

"These books do weird things," Sirius said dismissively. "I wouldn't worry –"

"Have I been crying?" Hermione asked, aghast. She touched her cheeks experimentally. Sure enough, they were sticky with tears.

"Just a bit," Sirius said. "You were… very upset that we couldn't find the book." At this, he gave a very tiny smirk.

"Oh," Hermione said, blinking. "That… does sound like me."

Sirius's smile tipped a little higher, but it didn't touch his eyes. Hermione felt bad. It must be awful to be cooped up indoors all the time, she thought. No wonder he was so melancholy. Everyone else was out partying and he couldn't step off the porch. She would be sure to bring him a slice of cake later.

"Well, go on," Sirius said encouragingly. "Have a fun time. Dance your feet bloody. And forget about that lousy book, alright?"

"Alright." She picked up her handbag. "Goodbye, Sirius."

There was a slight pause before he said, "Goodbye, Hermione."

…~oOo~…

Last Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What do you expect to see in the epilogue? 3. Predictions?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	56. Epilogue: Rebirth

A/N. Yes, I knew all along that Sirius would wipe Hermione's memories. The entire scene had been written out long before the rest of the story.

This story turned out to be…almost completely canon (except for this next part, wink wink), weirdly enough. Hermione went back to the wedding, went on the Horcrux Hunt, battled at Hogwarts, so on and so forth.

This has been a great adventure, writing this story. It's my second really long story and it was a lot of fun, switching from Remus to Sirius as the hero of the story… At first I felt like I was cheating on Remus, but now I feel like anyone else I write I'll be betraying Sirius. I guess I just get attached that way.

Thank you all of you for your reviews and follows. Thank you for reading. It means a lot to me. Especially to **mh21** who inspired/requested this story and was always great help along the way with her reviews.

I was going to make you all wait for this, but I decided to take mercy on your fangirlishness and post it. I want to get lots of "Thank You Resa"s in the reviews, hehe.

So let's do this.

…~oOo~…

Epilogue: Rebirth

Eighteen Months Later

"Sirius… why are you cleaning? You never clean."

"She's coming over today."

Remus hefted Teddy higher on his hip. "Yes, and? She comes over almost every week. Why is it today that you're cleaning like a madman?"

"Harry said she had big news," Sirius explained. "I just want the house to be nice, alright? Is that such a bloody crime? Go… bother your kid, or something. I'm busy."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Come on, Ted. Your Uncle Sirius is insane." He carried out his blue-haired son towards his nursery and playroom on the second floor.

Sirius immediately felt bad. Remus was still in a very delicate state with Dora's death. Nine months had passed and Remus was just beginning to smile again and there Sirius was mocking him. He would apologize later. But for now, he was cleaning. Even though Kreacher was obviously displeased with the job he was doing.

And, as he always did when she or the boys visited, Sirius would take the pictures off the mantle. He lifted his favorite off of the ledge and ran his thumb over the glass. It was from their Seventh Year. In the Gryffindor common room, Hermione had fallen asleep in his lap in front of the fire. He'd rested his cheek on her head, entwining her fingers with his, and James had snapped the shot when neither of them was looking.

And then the one on the Quidditch pitched when they were dressed like Titanic passengers, surrounded by Dandelions. And then the more recent one of them in Cancun. All of them he stacked in his hands and brought to his room.

In his bedroom, a large Pensieve took up the corner. A sad feeling came over him as he looked at it. Remus had lectured him endlessly about Sirius rifling through the memories Sirius had extracted from Hermione's head. He hadn't used an Obliviate – that felt too final, too real. So he took the out instead and kept them. And oftentimes he'd look at them, seeing their moments together the way she saw them. It was very interesting. Her point of view was certainly different.

He was tempted to sneak a peek at a memory then, before she came over. Just so he could have a few seconds with the old her. But he decided against it. He needed to move on. This was unhealthy.

"Hello!" Harry's voice carried through the old house.

Sirius smiled. His godson had arrived.

"My boy," Sirius said, still smiling as he walked down the steps, seeing him and Hermione walk through the front door. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of her, but he pushed it away. "And his lovely friend. How are you two?"

"Good, very good," Harry said with a broad smile. Sirius gave him a firm, manly hug, thumping him on the back.

"Great, actually," Hermione said, her eyes bright and enthusiastic. She gave Sirius a friendly peck on his cheek that sent shocks through his entire body. He would never get used to that. "Wonderful, one might say."

"We have a lot to tell you," Harry said, beaming.

"Where's Ron? I was hoping for some good old fashioned Chudley Cannons chat before tea," Sirius said with a wink, tossing an arm around Harry's shoulders as the migrated to the sitting area.

"Couldn't make it," Hermione said, annoyance obvious in her tone. "Honestly, that boy thinks he's Merlin himself with all the attention he's been getting in the press." She rolled her eyes. "You'd think _he_ defeated Voldemort with the way he's been acting." She huffed and sat down primly on the sofa.

"Hermione's a bit miffed since he's started making excused to avoid lunch and dinner with us," Harry explained.

"With me," she clarified. "He's been avoiding me, I know it!"

"I knew I heard that voice of yours, Hermione," Remus said, walking in with his hands tucked in his pocket. Teddy walked next to him, holding onto his pant leg. "Ever passionate about everything you talk about."

"Right now she's passionate about Ron," Harry said with a laugh. Teddy ran right to Harry his godfather, who happily put him on his lap. Teddy morphed his hair to math Harry's and made his eyes a bright, luminescent green. "Well, passionately angry."

Rolling her eyes, she said, "I just don't like being brushed off. He couldn't even find the time to offer me congratulations."

"Oh, yes, the big news," Remus said with a nod. "So, what is it?" He leaned against the mantle, offering a smile.

"Well, as you know I've been doing some work on the plans to rebuild Hogwarts," Hermione said. "You know, assisting with the blueprints, maps, petitions, budgets, and all of that ridiculous political nonsense.

"But because of all my efforts – and no little amount of harassing – they've decided to appoint me to head the project!" she finished; her smile the widest Sirius had ever seen it. She looked so excited, so optimistic.

It was moments like these that Sirius knew he made the right decision. She was carefree. Her life was heading in a beautiful, magnificent direction that was all her own. He was so proud of her.

"That is incredible," Sirius said sincerely. "This calls for a drink."

"It's noon," Hermione said.

"Exactly, perfect time for a drink," Sirius said, heading for the liquor cabinet.

"Congratulations," Remus said.

"It was such a surprise!" Hermione went on, practically bouncing. "Well, I mean, sort of. After all, I was the most involved, most qualified, and most adept for the position, but I'd though they'd shove me aside for someone older and male. But my faith with politics has been restored and I am just so excited! There's going to be a memorial for Dumbledore and the others lost and …"

Sirius hung on her every word as he poured them all a drink. Her plans were perfect. Every last one of them. Hogwarts was in very good hands.

He was pulled out of his reverie when Hermione said, "I didn't know you had a cat, Sirius."

Dandy had stalked into the room, throwing her weight around. She walked up to Hermione, winding around her ankles, and mewled, accusation in her meow. Hermione only chuckled and scratched her ears.

"I'll have to bring Crooks around for a play date!" Hermione said, picking up the lazy Dandy and plopping her on her lap.

"Definitely," Sirius said, never shirking on a chance to see Hermione. "You must definitely should."

…~oOo~…

"Miss Granger, the Headmistress's office has been finished," a worker helping in the rebuild told her. "You just need to inspect it and sign it off as complete."

"Perfect, I'll go on up now," Hermione said with a nod. As she walked towards the Headmistress's office, she saw amazing things. Walls being restored and statues being polished and repaired. Portraits being hung up. Hogwarts was becoming a home again.

Before the rebuild began, all of Dumbledore's belongings were packed away and kept in a vault until Minerva was ready to put them back where they belonged. She was the only one trusted enough to know how to handle the objects.

Inside, the office was like she remembered. Round, with a big picture window, a grand fireplace, and warm, thick rugs. The desk was the barest she'd ever seen it and the portraits were hung on the walls.

"Hello, Headmaster," Hermione said to Dumbledore's portrait, the first time she'd seen these new paintings. "What do you think? Is it like you remember? I moved the window to have a better view and made a few adjustments to the fireplace."

"It's magnificent, Hermione," Dumbledore said with that twinkle in his eyes. "You did a singular job."

Hermione flushed with the praise. "And Professor Snape, are you comfortable where you are?" she asked the other portrait.

Severus Snape sneered. "I am canvas, Hermione. Comfort no longer exists for me."

Hermione stopped moving around the room and turned to Snape's portrait with a furrowed brow. "Hermione? Why did you call me Hermione?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "That's your bloody name, isn't it? Has been for nigh on thirty-eight years now."

Hermione blinked owlishly. "Did… something go wrong when they painted you, professor? I'm only nineteen, sir."

The old potion master's facial expressions stalled completely. He stared at her for a length before he said lowly, "He didn't…"

"Who didn't what?" Hermione inquired.

"_Black_," Severus spat vindictively.

"Severus…" Dumbledore cautioned. "Don't scare the girl. Don't make things complicated."

"She has a right to know what that_ mutt_ did to her!"

"What are you _talking_ about?" Hermione demanded.

"Your memories," Severus said curtly. "Do you remember nothing? He erased them all, didn't he? I didn't think he could do it – but he did!"

"Sit down, Hermione," Dumbledore said, gesturing to the seat at the desk. "And don't panic, dear. Everything will be explained."

Hermione sat down tentatively. What was going on?

…~oOo~…

Remus took Teddy to Andromeda's for dinner. Even though Sirius's name had been cleared following the final battle, going out in society was difficult for him. He still wasn't accepted by many, still got looked at like a murderer and convict, and he didn't much have the energy to be charismatic anymore.

He did go to the pubs though. He'd missed the pub. More than he should have.

Sirius was drinking in the privacy of his own home this evening, though. Jim Beam. He ordered a case of it from America. Say what you want about Americans, they made great bourbon.

"Oh, Mr. Beam," Sirius said to the amber liquid in his glass. "You're my last friend, aren't you?" He burped and shook it off. He groaned and dropped his back against the sofa. "Merlin, I need to get laid."

He fiddled with the chain around his neck, the one with her ring dangling from it. He'd changed the chain to a manlier one, but the ring was so small and dainty. Sirius kept it tucked under his shirt, always. It rested in his tattoo and his heart.

The knocking on the door shocked him from his deep thought. He jumped violently, sloshing the whiskey all over himself. "Fuck," he uttered.

"Sirius Black! Sirius Black, I need to talk to you – right now!" The yelling came from the front door. He knew that yelling. It was the yelling that he used to cringe from in his youth because it meant days with no sex and that he now dreamt about because she was just so damn beautiful when she was furious.

"Just… just a minute!" Sirius called out, rubbing at the liquor all down his vest. With a huff, he tore at the buttons of the waistcoat and tossed it off.

She would not stop knocking and yelling his name. Over and over and over…

"I said I'm coming!" he shouted back, getting annoyed. She really could be the most irritating creature sometimes. In his oxford shirt and denims, Sirius hurried as fast as he could in his semi-drunken state to the door, throwing it open.

Oh, Hermione was definitely furious. "You did something to my brain, you bastard!"

Sirius blinked. Then there was panic. "Er… what?"

"You thought you were clever, didn't you?" she sneered, a bit too much like Snape for his taste. "Thought you could get away with wiping away what was apparently _more than half of my life_? How dare you!"

Sirius gaped at her. "You… you know. You…remember?"

"NO!" Hermione snapped. "I do NOT remember, because you _stole_ my memories!"

"How did you find out?" he demanded, bewildered.

"Snape and Dumbledore's portraits," Hermione hissed, shoving her way into the house, slamming the door behind her. "They were put up for the first time in the castle today. Finds out that they knew more about me than I did. Imagine my shock when Snape sent me to the dungeons, to his rooms, only to find a collection of my things there! And books with my names in them! Do you know how creepy that was at first? How long it took them to explain to me exactly what happened? I almost don't believe it _now_!"

Sirius rubbed his eyes. No, no, no. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to ever know. It was all ruined.

"Give them back!" Hermione commanded dictatorially, standing as tall as she could, but she was so small in comparison to him that it was almost amusing. Like a mouse standing up to a lion.

"No," Sirius said firmly. "Trust me, it is better this way. You've been so much happier and lighter… you can't go back to the way you were."

"You do not have a say in this!" Hermione snapped. "Hand them over now! I explained to Dumbledore what happened in the library during Bill and Fleur's wedding and he said the effects of the spell – the bright white light, the spots, the fuzzy feeling – couldn't have been an Obliviate. He said you must still have them."

Damn that genius old man. Sirius growled to himself. He had half a mind to throw a can of paint over his frame. Always meddling and manipulating, even in death.

"It doesn't work that way," Sirius said. "Alright?"

"How does it work then? Because I am riveted!" she said sardonically.

"They're… they're all in a Pensieve, you see, and you'd have to put them back in one by one, and there are twenty years of memories…" Sirius was grabbing at straws.

"Then we better get started, shouldn't we?" Hermione said decisively.

Raking his hands back through his hair, Sirius moaned. This was going to be a very long night.

…~oOo~…

It was disorienting to say in the least. Her face was damp. She must have been crying in her sleep as the memories were put back in. Her memories couldn't be put back in while she was awake – that would cause too much confusion and possibly damage to the memories. So she'd taken a potion and went to sleep.

She didn't remember all of this, however, until after she woke up to find herself in a strange bed and screamed.

"Hermione! Hermione, everything is okay, you're alright," a voice was immediately soothing her, rubbing her arms and caressing her face with coarse fingertips. "You're alright," he whispered again. "I'm so sorry."

Then it came back to her. The portraits, the Penseive, the potion to be put to sleep...

And she had some things to say. Things she should have been able to say eighteen months ago, but he made that impossible.

"You arsehole!" Hermione punched him in the arm.

"You're back," Sirius said, half in wonder and half in worry. "The younger you would never swear."

"Consider it a side-effect of being with you for God knows how long," Hermione said, smacking him again. "You took away my life! You stole my memories!"

"It was what you wanted when you were killing yourself," Sirius defended. "I just did it an easier, more humane way."

"You're crazy if you think I'm going forgive you so quickly for a notion so stupid!" Hermione yelled. And then her eyes zeroed on a chain around his neck. "Is that mine? Give it back!"

"God, you're demanding tonight," Sirius said, his brows furrowed, his hands moving to his chain. "Calm down, will you?"

"I will not!" Hermione grumbled, practically ripping the necklace from him. She hastily put the necklace around her own neck. "You are in so much trouble, you have no idea. I might just make you sleep on the couch."

"Excuse me?"

"That's right! Go off, now! Having years of memories restored is quite exhausting." She tucked herself under the comforter and wiggled to make herself comfy.

"You're joking? You're not marching out and leaving me forever?" Sirius asked incredulously.

Hermione huffed and turned a glare on him. "How many times do I have to tell you, Sirius? I'm not leaving you ever again, even though you go and try to leave me – which I do not appreciate. Now go make me some tea. It's the least you can do."

And Sirius couldn't help but smile. It was his first real smile in months, maybe a year. And he started laughing uncontrollably. So hard his belly ached.

It was only seconds before Hermione couldn't stop herself from joining in.

She felt good. She felt amazing. Sure, she'd had her memories ripped out and then shoved back in, but the war was over, something she never thought would happen for real. She got a taste of what it was like without Sirius and she hated it now that she remembered. She had direction. She had purpose. And she had the love of her life back. Her eighteen months without the burden of her other life had cleared out everything that was dragging her down.

It was a rebirth.

Sirius bent over her to press a kiss to her mouth, a kiss that tingled down to her toes.

"Marry me," Sirius said eagerly, kissing her again and again, melting her core with every brush of his lips.

Hermione smiled. "Okay."

The End

…~oOo~...

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~


	57. Dear Tricksters

Dear Trickers & Readers,

So The Trick of Time is over! I find myself sad, but at the same time motivated. I would like this time to just give you all a head's up on what's going to be happening as far as updates of other stories and new projects!

First off – for those who asked about what happened to Regulus in this story, well, he's off doing his own thing, being a crow and whatnot. Maybe Hermione will tell Sirius about him one day soon. And maybe there will be a one-shot about it, and maybe not.

Second – look out for a one-shot of Hermione going back to see Severus's painting with her memories restored. It's sure to be a tear-jerker, so tread with caution, haha! And I don't know how soon I'll get around to it.

Third – I will be posting the final chapter of As Summers Die VERY soon, as well as finishing up Captive, a story that's been on the backburner for almost a year.

Fourth – I hear that it's a right of passage to write a marriage law fic… dunno, but I'm thinking on it.

Fifth & Final – I've been chewing on a full-length Draco/Hermione for a long time. Draco will be the main hero, I believe, with plenty of Hermione-centric-ness of course. It will be set in a dystopian world, a Voldemort triumphant universe.

Thank you, all of you, for sticking around through this rollercoaster fic and not giving up on me. I hope to hear from all of you in reviews of future work!

So Long And Thanks For All The Fish,

Resa


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